Housekeeper in retirement?

[mtbikelover]

When I lost my job a few years ago, I decided to retire earlier versus finding another job. Part of the agreement was I would do all the tasks we had paid others to do - clean, dog walk, cook more (instead of eating out), etc. Going to one income was scary for both of us so this wasn’t my husband demanding I do it. It was me wanting to do it. And I suggested that as a way to cover my lost income.

I love walking my dog but I hate the cleaning part. I want my housekeeper back but I feel guilty spending money for something I could do myself. And my husband is very frugal and feels it’s a waste of money and goes against what I agreed to when I retired earlier than planned.

Financially, we are fine. The FIRE Calc shows only a 2% chance of running out of money and projects anywhere from $5-80M left if we die at 92. Of course that’s just a calculation so I take it with a grain of salt.

If you are retired, do you have a housekeeper? Do you feel it’s money well spent?

 

[Amethyst]

We don't have one, but it's not the money. I don't like the way they go about their business. They don't take the care that I do. They are in too big a hurry, scrub too hard, and don't deep-clean the bathroom. And neighbors are always complaining about other (richer) people "poaching" their cleaning lady, or the woman who brings her kids along to the job, etc. I do not care to get caught up in that drama. It's why we need housecleaning robots.

BTW, your husband's excuses for not helping are weak. No reason he can't do some of the things he did before you retired. "Going against the agreement we made before" is for roommates, not spouses, IMHO. And even roommates can negotiate.

 

[tb001]

Yes and yes. What’s going to happen when your DH retires? Is he going to start helping with the housekeeping or are you going to continue to do all of the chores?

I would rather work a few hours a month and use that $ to pay a housekeeper than clean our house all the time.

 

[stepford]

We had a housekeeper for years, but after retirement just found we didn't need her anymore.

 

[mtbikelover]

We don't have one, but it's not the money. I don't like the way they go about their business. They don't take the care that I do. They are in too big a hurry, scrub too hard, and don't deep-clean the bathroom. And neighbors are always complaining about other (richer) people "poaching" their cleaning lady, or the woman who brings her kids along to the job, etc. I do not care to get caught up in that drama. It's why we need housecleaning robots.

BTW, your husband's excuses for not helping are weak. No reason he can't do some of the things he did before you retired. "Going against the agreement we made before" is for roommates, not spouses, IMHO. And even roommates can negotiate.

We had an amazing cleaning lady. She cleans way better than I ever could. She even cleaned the inside of the fridge. And did organization as well.

 

[ExFlyBoy5]

We have considered a housekeeper but in all honesty I don't think we are messy enough to warrant one. It's just DW and me (and a couple of dogs that don't really shed) and we aren't too messy. I think it would be nice for someone to come in a couple times a year for a DEEP CLEANING but since being here for 3 years it doesn't really look like we need it so far.

I recall a friend of mine had a house keeping service for a while and had mentioned once that they would need to leave some event early to "straighten up" before the housekeeper showed up. Uh, what?

Now a lawn service? I would LOVE that but have found that it's tough to find someone who will do it to my exacting (OCD) standards, so I still deal with it.

 

[Gumby]

We had a cleaning lady for about 4 years before we retired and continued with her after our retirement in 2019. She cleans way better than I do. We always leave the house when she arrives and come home to find it sparkling; I really like that. And the money to pay her is well within our retirement budget.

I recall a friend of mine had a house keeping service for a while and had mentioned once that they would need to leave some event early to "straighten up" before the housekeeper showed up. Uh, what?

Makes sense to me. I pick up the house right before our scheduled cleaning day. I want her to concentrate on actual cleaning, not dealing with clutter.

 

[mtbikelover]

Yes and yes. What’s going to happen when your DH retires? Is he going to start helping with the housekeeping or are you going to continue to do all of the chores? .

He is retiring end of this year and we would split the cleaning. Though he fully admits he would probably be grumpy (like me) on cleaning day. LOL!

We both do day to day stuff now like emptying dishwasher, taking out garbage, cleaning up from dinner, etc. This is more the heavy duty stuff that only needs to get done every few weeks.

 

[Amethyst]

Yet another complaint I have heard from neighbors.

It does seem unfair to expect a cleaner to know how to straighten up other people's messes. "What if I stack all these papers, when this mess was actually their way of organizing them?" No joke. And I'd simply have to close the door to my art room.

As for the lawn service, I finally fired mine because I simply could not convey to them (or their boss couldn't, since he was the one I talked to) that I did not want them to edge everywhere they saw grass up against sand. I was trying to get the grass to grow over the sand, not create ever-widening sand circles that were perfectly edged. They had trimmed one area down to a six-inch wide strip of grass (I am not making this up) and were all set to trim it down to nothing.

I recall a friend of mine had a house keeping service for a while and had mentioned once that they would need to leave some event early to "straighten up" before the housekeeper showed up. Uh, what?

Now a lawn service? I would LOVE that but have found that it's tough to find someone who will do it to my exacting (OCD) standards, so I still deal with it.

 

[MichaelB]

We use a cleaning lady. We can afford it and I see this as part of the “retirement package”. That is, not just retiring from paid employment (me) but also retiring from unpaid regular work. In addition, it makes DW happy, and that’s important.

 

[REWahoo]

Makes sense to me. I pick up the house right before our scheduled cleaning day. I want her to concentrate on actual cleaning, not dealing with clutter.

^ This.

We pay her to clean, not pick up after us.

We've had the same lady come every other Wednesday for the past 11 years. We told her the only way she can quit is if she finds a replacement for us as good as she is.

 

[Scrapr]

We had an amazing cleaning lady. She cleans way better than I ever could. She even cleaned the inside of the fridge. And did organization as well.

Yeah mine went & cleaned the inside of the fridge too. LOL It was great. I have them come every other week. I pick up the dog toys that get scattered around. I strip the bed & they put on clean sheets. They cleaned inside windows last week. The (Golden Retriever) hair is noticeable after 2 weeks. I sweep almost every day but it just collects. They do a great job of moving all the furniture, getting on hands & knees & mopping.

I consider it essential.

*I may have "precleaned" many weeks. I don't want them to see what a slob I am.

 

[Dtail]

With a 2800 sq ft house with 3 bathrooms, I just won't clean it that well.
So we have a cleaning service and they are excellent. Doesn't hurt that my DGF speaks their native tongue.

 

[pacergal]

No, we don't have one. I would like one though!
I may add one into the budget sometime. But, for now, DH and I split the chores.

 

[brett]

Isn't this really a question of the size of your home, your physical ability, your dislike of housework, and your ability to pay.

Lots of variables.

 

[brett]

delete

 

[Dtail]

Isn't this really a question of the size of your home, your physical ability, your dislike of housework, and your ability to pay.

Lots of variables.

True.
If I was in a 1200 sq ft condo with 1.5 bath for example, I would do it myself.
Perhaps at 80 y.o., I would not.

 

[W2R]

If you are retired, do you have a housekeeper? Do you feel it’s money well spent?

I could easily afford a housekeeper for my 1500 sf house, but I don't have one because I am a privacy nut. I don't like having somebody coming into my house (other than Frank).

I don't like doing much housework, either. I have learned that I can tolerate a bit of a mess when 73 years old, as easily as I did during college. I don't have to worry about what anybody else will think, because like I said, nobody gets to come into my house except Frank (and he doesn't care).

 

[JRon]

My wife doesn’t want a housekeeper so one thing we did that my wife appreciated was get a roomba vacuum. Made that chore much easier. Also, I clean the toilets - she doesn’t like it and I don’t mind.

 

[ivinsfan]

I feel, in my case anyway its not the cleaning, it's all the stuff sitting around my house that's the problem. Stuff makes cleaning more complicated. I'm trying to really weed out the non essential stuff in my life .

 

[Brat]

I just hired a housekeeper because I didn't 'train' my husband to help around the house. We raised two children, I worked full time (actually the major wage earner as his profession didn't pay well), I did all the cooking and cleaning. He is now 83 and not re-trainable. I prepare our dinner meal, he thinks it is a big deal that he puts the dirty dishes in the dishwasher. I do all the laundry, he thinks it is a big deal that he makes the bed with fresh sheets. No help folding or ironing. After venting to my daughter she told me to hire a cleaning lady. That team does a great job and is very thorough. Money well invested to preserve my sanity.

 

[Dtail]

I just hired a housekeeper because I didn't 'train' my husband to help around the house. We raised two children, I worked full time (actually the major wage earner as his profession didn't pay well), I did all the cooking and cleaning. He is now 83 and not re-trainable. I prepare our dinner meal, he thinks it is a big deal that he puts the dirty dishes in the dishwasher. I do all the laundry, he thinks it is a big deal that he makes the bed with fresh sheets. No help folding or ironing. After venting to my daughter she told me to hire a cleaning lady. That team does a great job and is very thorough. Money well invested to preserve my sanity.

Mostly the opposite here.
My DGF has had 1 shoulder surgery and 3 back surgeries.
Thus I do the laundry, gardening, most of the cooking and most of the general errands.
6x weekly Pickleball makes it work for me.

 

[RetiredHappy]

I just hired a housekeeper because I didn't 'train' my husband to help around the house. We raised two children, I worked full time (actually the major wage earner as his profession didn't pay well), I did all the cooking and cleaning. He is now 83 and not re-trainable. I prepare our dinner meal, he thinks it is a big deal that he puts the dirty dishes in the dishwasher. I do all the laundry, he thinks it is a big deal that he makes the bed with fresh sheets. No help folding or ironing. After venting to my daughter she told me to hire a cleaning lady. That team does a great job and is very thorough. Money well invested to preserve my sanity.

I must be the lucky one. We both worked full time and made equally good money. When we were working we did not cook. Now I only cook and vacuum. He cleans up after I cook (dishwasher etc.), puts out garbage, does toilets and laundry. I do not want a housekeeper and we get by fine.

 

[tb001]

I just hired a housekeeper because I didn't 'train' my husband to help around the house. We raised two children, I worked full time (actually the major wage earner as his profession didn't pay well), I did all the cooking and cleaning. He is now 83 and not re-trainable. I prepare our dinner meal, he thinks it is a big deal that he puts the dirty dishes in the dishwasher. I do all the laundry, he thinks it is a big deal that he makes the bed with fresh sheets. No help folding or ironing. After venting to my daughter she told me to hire a cleaning lady. That team does a great job and is very thorough. Money well invested to preserve my sanity.

I’ve been meaning to post a related thread. I RE a year ago and have pretty much taken over almost all of the kid responsibilities and household chores, except for housekeeping and lawn maintenance which we hire out. I’m pretty wiped just trying to keep up and definitely don’t feel like I’m ‘retired’ or relaxing in any way.

DH is still consulting, but business is super slow. He’s been working to drum up more business, but I can tell a lot of his day is free and spent getting lunch or on the computer. He definitely doesn’t need to be working at this point, though the extra income has been nice. I admit, I’m starting to get a little resentful about feeling like I spend the day scrambling to get stuff done while he’s having a more relaxing time.

I’m curious how the transition has been for SAH spouses who suddenly have a retired spouse. I can see being very frustrated if a newly retired spouse is spending their time playing instead of helping out, even though that’s what retirement should be! Granted it’s different with kids still at home, but it’s an interesting dynamic. DH used to do a lot of the cooking, etc when we were both working, but since I stopped working I took over.

 

[rk911]

When I lost my job a few years ago, I decided to retire earlier versus finding another job. Part of the agreement was I would do all the tasks we had paid others to do - clean, dog walk, cook more (instead of eating out), etc. Going to one income was scary for both of us so this wasn’t my husband demanding I do it. It was me wanting to do it. And I suggested that as a way to cover my lost income.

I love walking my dog but I hate the cleaning part. I want my housekeeper back but I feel guilty spending money for something I could do myself. And my husband is very frugal and feels it’s a waste of money and goes against what I agreed to when I retired earlier than planned.

Financially, we are fine. The FIRE Calc shows only a 2% chance of running out of money and projects anywhere from $5-80M left if we die at 92. Of course that’s just a calculation so I take it with a grain of salt.

If you are retired, do you have a housekeeper? Do you feel it’s money well spent?

i get it. we've had a lawn service and a housecleaner for decades. and now we have a snow removal service. i used to feel a bit guilty and a bit show-offy but I soon got over it. especially the snow removal. love watching those guys from my EZ chair.