We have been ER'd for 8 months, during which we were traveling or entertaining visitors about half of that time. We have plenty of interests but find that we are getting consumed by the "to do" list and errands. We have talked about ways to avoid this (limit errands and appointments) to a couple of days/week, stay off laptops certain days of the week, etc.). So far we haven't found a great solution. How do others who have been ER'd for a while deal with this?
How to avoid errand/to do list fatigue?
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RunningBum
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How did you manage it while you were working, and presumably had less time (or perhaps not, with your traveling and hosting)? You probably prioritized things, right? That's what I do. I've had some things on my "to do" list for 6 years now. Fine with me, they'll still be there to do in 5 years when I might get to them.
dm
Full time employment: Posting here.
I've found that the to do list my wife makes for me is never ending. So I dont get in any hurry to work on it.
We have been married for 37 years. The list has never been completed.
We have been married for 37 years. The list has never been completed.
OldShooter
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Don't make lists?
ExFlyBoy5
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Well, not sure what "errands" and "To Do's" you have going on, so can't really offer a decent solution. Being a home body, I do my best to consolidate any errands.
For me, I tend to make one errand trip a week and this coincides with the trip to the grocery store and is usually on a Tuesday. I find that the store is not very busy and they are relatively well stocked. Since I know that I go to the store on Tuesday, then I have a good 6 days to figure out if there are other places I need to go and I consolidate them. If for whatever reason I can't get something done on "grocery day" then I try to maximize the "retiree drive time" (between 10AM and 2 PM). This makes sure that there aren't too many people on the road and getting appointments is usually pretty easy.
As far as "to do" lists go, I just prioritize things. If it's REALLY important, I just do it. If it's not, then...well, I will get to it. If I fart around long enough, the DW will put it in the HIGH PRIORITY list and it will get done pretty quick.
As to the OP, I think some of your issue is that you are still new to the ER world. It took me about a year to get into a "routine" and you may see an improvement in how you get things done when you establish this. It's difficult to go from a w*rking world with deadlines and assclowns breathing down your neck to...well, not dealing with that BS. So, relax, it will all come soon enough.
For me, I tend to make one errand trip a week and this coincides with the trip to the grocery store and is usually on a Tuesday. I find that the store is not very busy and they are relatively well stocked. Since I know that I go to the store on Tuesday, then I have a good 6 days to figure out if there are other places I need to go and I consolidate them. If for whatever reason I can't get something done on "grocery day" then I try to maximize the "retiree drive time" (between 10AM and 2 PM). This makes sure that there aren't too many people on the road and getting appointments is usually pretty easy.
As far as "to do" lists go, I just prioritize things. If it's REALLY important, I just do it. If it's not, then...well, I will get to it. If I fart around long enough, the DW will put it in the HIGH PRIORITY list and it will get done pretty quick.
As to the OP, I think some of your issue is that you are still new to the ER world. It took me about a year to get into a "routine" and you may see an improvement in how you get things done when you establish this. It's difficult to go from a w*rking world with deadlines and assclowns breathing down your neck to...well, not dealing with that BS. So, relax, it will all come soon enough.
Fedup
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I'm in the camp that don't make any list. But my husband and I try to do one thing a day and go out to a place every day. We don't want to be all cooped in, even though the house is too comfy, but we must get out everyday.
W2R
Moderator Emeritus
+1 What on earth could an early retiree have to do that is so overwhelming? I can't imagine.
Maybe you are renovating or rearranging things inside your home? If so, that will be done for good, soon.
Unless you are extremely sick, you probably don't have even a small handful of doctor/dentist appointments in the next six months. Most other errands are not that time sensitive and can be done on an "if I feel like it today" basis.
You know what it seems like to me? I think maybe it would help if you stopped traveling and entertaining visitors completely for a year or more, until you have managed to decompress and shed stress after your recent retirement. Then you can resume slowly as long as it doesn't cause fatigue.
Me, too.
Something has to be really important to be placed on my calendar app.
And has to be almost critical to be placed on my Reminders app.
Everything else just gets done as it occurs to me.
But then I'm the guy who hated scheduled meetings with a passion when I was in the w*rking world and avoided them like the plague.
Fedup
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My todo list everyday is to make lunch and dinner for my husband. His job is to make me breakfast so I can do my todo list. Interdependence.
Meadbh
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It's not clear whether the problem is that you are trying to do too many things, or how you organize them. One issue I see is that you are spending half your time travelling or entertaining visitors. Perhaps you would not feel so pressured if you cut back on the visitors.
Does your To Do list have too many big, long term projects on it? Like, say......"renovate kitchen"? There is no point in putting something this big on a list. By itself it will never move off the list. It needs to be broken down to a series of actionable tasks, like...."meet with kitchen designer on Tuesday at 10 am."
Do you need to put your everyday recurrent tasks on a To Do list? For example, how do you shop for groceries? How I handle this is by keeping a running list of items that I am going to need next time I shop. This morning I added Milk and Honey to the list (really!). Tomorrow I have a convenient window of opportunity after I play golf. I will take the list with me and do it then. And so on.
I also mentally schedule time for myself to go on a walk, read a book, do the laundry, etc, though I don't put these activities on my calendar and they are flexible. My calendar is for regularly occurring scheduled activities (e.g. golf) and appointments (e.g. the dentist). Other stuff will get done eventually. I don't sweat the small stuff.
Does your To Do list have too many big, long term projects on it? Like, say......"renovate kitchen"? There is no point in putting something this big on a list. By itself it will never move off the list. It needs to be broken down to a series of actionable tasks, like...."meet with kitchen designer on Tuesday at 10 am."
Do you need to put your everyday recurrent tasks on a To Do list? For example, how do you shop for groceries? How I handle this is by keeping a running list of items that I am going to need next time I shop. This morning I added Milk and Honey to the list (really!). Tomorrow I have a convenient window of opportunity after I play golf. I will take the list with me and do it then. And so on.
I also mentally schedule time for myself to go on a walk, read a book, do the laundry, etc, though I don't put these activities on my calendar and they are flexible. My calendar is for regularly occurring scheduled activities (e.g. golf) and appointments (e.g. the dentist). Other stuff will get done eventually. I don't sweat the small stuff.
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pacergal
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Gosh, if I had been traveling for 4 out to 8 months and entertaining guests, I would be tired, too!
DH retired for 1 year, me for 7 months, we have taken 3 trips but only 4 days to 2 weeks long.
When at home, we make a plan to get out once daily--either for errands, exercise, or out for a meal. I threw away our "To Do" list one month after I retired--stuff will get done when it gets done.
Perhaps you could take some down time, not travel or entertain for at least a few months to give yourself some decompression time
Relax---retirement will last the rest of your life!
DH retired for 1 year, me for 7 months, we have taken 3 trips but only 4 days to 2 weeks long.
When at home, we make a plan to get out once daily--either for errands, exercise, or out for a meal. I threw away our "To Do" list one month after I retired--stuff will get done when it gets done.
Perhaps you could take some down time, not travel or entertain for at least a few months to give yourself some decompression time
Relax---retirement will last the rest of your life!
GravitySucks
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If it isn't leaking I ignore it.
atmsmshr
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Blue Collar Guy
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Hahahaha
Blue Collar Guy
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I make lists, I need to. I dont need to drive really anywhere for most things . So if I need a 1/16th of an inch Allen key(see thread on the plumber!) I just put on my sneakers and I fetch it. Round trip less than 10 minutes. It goes something like this :12 noon "BCG ? Yes dear. Go get a 1/16th of an inch Allen key for the plumber or else we wont get the showers fixed " 1201PM, Open moms apt door "Hey Ma Im running to the store Ill be home in 5 minutes, I need something, DONT worry Mrs. BCG is upstairs and the nurse is with you" "Be careful crossing the street" "OK ma". run, jog, walk, to store, locate item, pay, run, jog & walk home. 1207PM "Hey Ma, Im home" "Everything ok?" "Yeah Ma" Hand Allen key to plumber. I have numerous phone calls that try my patience every day, regarding moms health care. They crop up during the day and I start calling at 830am.
RetiredGypsy
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Are your to-do lists made in order to supply your interests? If that's the case, and you have room, stocking up ahead of time on deals may be the way to go on all your interests at once, if you can get all supplies at one store or online. If your errands are more about consumables when hosting (at least while at home), maybe get a standalone freezer and stock up on margarita mixes and BBQ meats or whatever and you're set for however long. Maybe same with liquor, since they tend to keep at least 6 months.
If your to-do list is about cleaning and maintenance, there's not much getting around that. You can do it yourself, outsource it, or let it go and hope things fall apart later rather than sooner. I've tried to make to-do lists about cleaning, but ultimately after years of doing it half-buttocked, I've found that one extremely thorough cleaning a year and then just spot wiping/dusting/mopping/vacuuming/etc. takes up a lot less time overall. I've heard it called cleaning as you go.
If your to-do list is about cleaning and maintenance, there's not much getting around that. You can do it yourself, outsource it, or let it go and hope things fall apart later rather than sooner. I've tried to make to-do lists about cleaning, but ultimately after years of doing it half-buttocked, I've found that one extremely thorough cleaning a year and then just spot wiping/dusting/mopping/vacuuming/etc. takes up a lot less time overall. I've heard it called cleaning as you go.
iloveyoga
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
This post made me realize that I make very few lists anymore. Sometimes a few short ones here and there. And I use my calendar on my phone for appointments and such. When I worked downtown I had a large to do list going at all times.
Anyone remember the Franklin Planner?
Anyone remember the Franklin Planner?
Meadbh
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This post made me realize that I make very few lists anymore. Sometimes a few short ones here and there. And I use my calendar on my phone for appointments and such. When I worked downtown I had a large to do list going at all times.
Anyone remember the Franklin Planner?
Oh yes! I even had the software on my Palm Pilot. Remember those?
iloveyoga
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Palm Pilot, just a dim memory!!
Remember a good retirement rule, you can always do it tomorrow!! I like some good down time every day.
Remember a good retirement rule, you can always do it tomorrow!! I like some good down time every day.
I try to make it a point to do one thing on the list every day. Maybe two if they are very easy things, like today for example I had two assignments.
1. replace light bulb in bathroom ceiling fixture. This actually turned out to be a PITA because I couldn't remember that it was one where the glass pops down on two clips. I thought it was one that unscrewed and was stuck shut. I actually put WD 40 on it. Then when I got frustrated and said "dammit, if it breaks it breaks" and the glass popped down. I'm not making this up, this actually happened just this morning.
2. Run a couple of garbage cans of lawn vegetation to the local composting pile. DW had cut and assembled it. All I had to do was chuck it into the trunk and drive less than 10 minutes each way.
Jobs done....off to the golf course to practice my chipping and putting and play a few holes.
Large projects get broken down into small pieces. I'm rehabilitating a boat trailer. I just figure out one or two simple things each day...
So, IMO, the list is fine. Recognize it never ends (like the checkout people at the grocery store). One or two things and then move on to something else.
1. replace light bulb in bathroom ceiling fixture. This actually turned out to be a PITA because I couldn't remember that it was one where the glass pops down on two clips. I thought it was one that unscrewed and was stuck shut. I actually put WD 40 on it. Then when I got frustrated and said "dammit, if it breaks it breaks" and the glass popped down. I'm not making this up, this actually happened just this morning.
2. Run a couple of garbage cans of lawn vegetation to the local composting pile. DW had cut and assembled it. All I had to do was chuck it into the trunk and drive less than 10 minutes each way.
Jobs done....off to the golf course to practice my chipping and putting and play a few holes.
Large projects get broken down into small pieces. I'm rehabilitating a boat trailer. I just figure out one or two simple things each day...
So, IMO, the list is fine. Recognize it never ends (like the checkout people at the grocery store). One or two things and then move on to something else.
GalaxyBoy
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Some of us take a (perhaps) perverse pleasure in crossing things off lists.
I think my current list is long because I, too, am new to being RE. The list seems to consist mainly of decluttering or fixing things that we never had time to get to while one or both of us were working. Hopefully, once these projects are done, or more likely once there are less of them, I won't have many lists left.
I think my current list is long because I, too, am new to being RE. The list seems to consist mainly of decluttering or fixing things that we never had time to get to while one or both of us were working. Hopefully, once these projects are done, or more likely once there are less of them, I won't have many lists left.
ERD50
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
A line I think I heard on this forum is: "You asked me to do something, I said I'd get it done, and I don't need to be reminded every six months!".
-ERD50
Thanks for all of the tips and suggestions. DH & I went over our list tonight and many of the items are related to our being away for 3 months (e.g., get internet working again, stop mail forwarding service, get overdue check-ups done). Once we get everything transitioned to our being home again, our feelings of being overwhelmed should subside.
I need to keep reminding myself that we have plenty of time to get things done now. Really like the idea to do something fun away from the house at least once per day, even if only for an hour or two. Also like the idea of picking one or two things from the list each day and then having fun the rest of the day. I think I need a list though. Without one I'm afraid I would wake up in the middle of the night afraid I'll forget to do something.
We have one more 10-day trip in August and then we are planning to stop traveling at least until 2018. And we don't have any visitors scheduled for the rest of this year. I agree that slowing down on travel and visitors will help.
I need to keep reminding myself that we have plenty of time to get things done now. Really like the idea to do something fun away from the house at least once per day, even if only for an hour or two. Also like the idea of picking one or two things from the list each day and then having fun the rest of the day. I think I need a list though. Without one I'm afraid I would wake up in the middle of the night afraid I'll forget to do something.
We have one more 10-day trip in August and then we are planning to stop traveling at least until 2018. And we don't have any visitors scheduled for the rest of this year. I agree that slowing down on travel and visitors will help.
