It's funny joke Thursday! 2005 - 2020

[mickeyd]

TOP 20 WAYS TO TELL SOMEONE THEIR FLY IS UNZIPPED:

20) The cucumber has left the salad.
19) I can see the gun of Navarone.
18) Someone tore down the wall, and your Pink Floyd is hanging out.
17) You've got Windows on your laptop.
16) Sailor Ned's trying to take a little shore leave.
15) Your soldier isn't so unknown now.
14) Quasimodo needs to go back in the tower and tend to his bells.
13) You need to bring your tray table to the upright and locked position.
12) Paging Mr. Johnson... Paging Mr. Johnson...
11) Your pod bay door is open, Hal.
10) Elvis Junior has LEFT the building!
9) Mini Me is making a break for the escape pod.
8) Ensign Hanes is reporting a hull breach on the lower deck, Sir!
7) The Buick is not all the way in the garage.
6) Dr. Kimble has escaped!
5) You've got your fly set for "Monica" instead of "Hillary."
4) Our next guest is someone who needs no introduction...
3) You've got a security breach at Los Pantalones.
2) I'm talking about Shaft, can you dig it?

and The Number One Way to Tell Someone Their Fly Is Unzipped..

1) Men are From Mars, I Can See Your Penis.

 

[Walt34]

Not politically correct but nonetheless:

[FONT=&quot]A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter.[/FONT][FONT=&quot][/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]"What are you doing?" she asked.[/FONT][FONT=&quot][/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]"Hunting flies," he responded.[/FONT][FONT=&quot][/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]"Oh! Managing to kill any?"[/FONT][FONT=&quot][/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]"Yep, 3 males, 2 females." he replied.[/FONT][FONT=&quot][/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Intrigued, she asked, "How can you tell them apart?"[/FONT][FONT=&quot][/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]"Three were on a beer can, and two were on the phone." he replied.[/FONT]

 

[shaycool]

The Gynecologist Who Became a Mechanic
A gynecologist had become fed up with malpractice insurance and HMO paperwork,and was burned out. Hoping to try another career where skillful hands would be beneficial, he decided to become a mechanic. He went to the local technical college, signed up for evening classes, attended diligently and learned all he could.
When the time of the practical exam approached, the gynecologist prepared carefully for weeks, and completed the exam with tremendous skill.
When the results came back, he was surprised to find that he had obtained a score of150%. Fearing an error, he called the Instructor, saying, "I don't want to appear ungrateful for such an outstanding result, but I wonder if there is an error in the grade?"
"The instructor said, “During the exam, you took the engine apart perfectly, which was worth 50% of the total mark. You put the engine back together again perfectly, which is also worth 50% of the mark."
After a pause, the instructor added, "I gave you an extra 50% because you did it all through the muffler, which I've never seen done in my entire career"

 

[packrat44]

In a Chicago Hospital , a gentleman had made several

attempts to get into the men's restroom, but it had always been occupied.



A nurse noticed his predicament.

Sir, she said "You may use the ladies room if you promise

not to touch any of the buttons on the wall."

He did what he needed to, and as he sat there he noticed the

buttons he had promised not to touch.

Each button was identified by letters: WW , WA , PP20 and a

red one labeled ATR..

Who would know if he touched them? ;

He couldn't resist.. He pushed WW. Warm water was sprayed

gently upon his bottom.

What a nice feeling, he thought.

Men's restrooms don't have nice things like this.

Anticipating greater pleasure, he pushed the WA button. Warm

air replaced the warm water, gently drying his underside.



When this stopped, he pushed the PP button. A large powder

puff caressed his bottom adding a fragile scent of spring flower to this

unbelievable pleasure. The ladies restroom was more than a restroom,

it is tender loving pleasure.



When the powder puff completed its pleasure, he couldn't

wait to push the ATR button which he knew would be supreme ecstasy.



Next thing he knew he opened his eyes, he was in a hospital

bed, and a nurse was staring down at him.



"What happened?" he exclaimed. "The last thing I remember

was pushing the ATR button."



"The button ATR is an Automatic Tampon Remover. Your penis

is under your pillow."

 

[brewer12345]

Goblinbooks: "Help Me Hide These Bodies" By Willy Wonka

"Don't you short bastards look at me like that.

Yes, that's Gloop's mom, and yes, she does seem to be taking one of those naps you don't wake up from. She's on top of the others. They're all in the vat -- four industrial accident victims, and four witnesses who needed extra ventilation. And you know why? Because Willy Lawrence Wonka cleans up his goddamn messes.

And just in case it's not clear to you people... I don't mind topping the pile with a couple green-haired freaks who decided they needed consciences, all of a sudden. We understand each other? You three are all shop foremen, and you know what goes on here. You're problem solvers. And if you listen to me, and do exactly what I tell you, you're going to be in Dubai soon, rolling around on piles of ****ing money with little orange hookers. Or... you can find yourselves a comfy spot down there, because I've just killed four people, and I'm a crazy SOB in a purple jacket holding a gun."

 

[packrat44]

Let's dispel this myth once and for all...
Women always say that giving birth is way more painful than a guy getting kicked in the nuts.
Here is proof that they are wrong.
A year or so after giving birth a woman will often say, "It would be nice to have another kid."
You will never hear a guy say, "I would sure like another kick in the nuts."
Case closed.

 

[eytonxav]

You will never hear a guy say, "I would sure like another kick in the nuts."
Case closed.

Unless you happen to be an MMA fighter

 

[BigNick]

 

[Chuckanut]

HUSBANDS FOR SALE!

A store that sells husbands has just opened where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates.

You may visit the store ONLY ONCE!

There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase as the shopper ascends the flights. There is, however, a catch. You may choose any man from a particular floor, or you may choose to go up a floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband.

On the first floor the sign on the door reads: Floor 1 - These men have jobs and love the Lord. She thinks "Well, that is better than my last boyfriend, but not that much better."

The second floor sign reads: Floor 2 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, and love kids. The thinks "Now that is good, but I can do better."

The third floor sign reads:Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids and are extremely good looking.
'Wow,' she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads: Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop-dead good looking and help with the housework.
'Oh, mercy me!' she exclaims, 'I can hardly stand it!'

Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads: Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop-dead gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak. She is so tempted to stay but thinks "Imagine how fabulous the men on the 6th floor must be!"

She goes to the sixth floor and the sign reads: Floor 6 - You are visitor number 55,444,122 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store. Watch your step as you exit the building, and have a nice day!

 

[wargames]

AMA weighs in on healthcare debate

The American Medical Association has weighed in on Obama's new health care package. The Allergists were in favor of scratching it, but the Dermatologists advised not to make any rash moves. The Gastroenterologists had sort of a gut feeling about it, but the Neurologists thought the Administration had a lot of nerve. Meanwhile, Obstetricians felt certain everyone was laboring under a misconception, while the Ophthalmologists considered the idea shortsighted. Pathologists yelled, "Over my dead body!" while the Pediatricians said, "Oh, grow up!" The Psychiatrists thought the whole idea was madness, while the Radiologists could see right through it. Surgeons decided to wash their hands of the whole thing and the Internists claimed it would indeed be a bitter pill to swallow. The Plastic Surgeons opined that this proposal would "put a whole new face on the matter". The Podiatrists thought it was a step forward, but the Urologists were pissed off at the whole idea. Anesthesiologists thought the whole idea was a gas, and those lofty Cardiologists didn't have the heart to say no. In the end, the Proctologists won out, leaving the entire decision up to the assholes in Washington.

 

[eytonxav]

Sr Golf

Joe was getting on in years and his eyesight was getting so bad he couldn't see his shots land any more. He was so frustrated losing golf balls he was considering giving up the game. He was complaining about this to the course pro who told him, "I've got the solution. A new guy just joined the club and he's looking for someone to play with. He's about your age and retired also, and it came up in conversation that he has perfect eyesight."

The pro pairs them up and they head for the first tee. Joe hits his drive and says to his partner, "Did you see where that one went?"

"Yup" came the reply.

"Well, where did it go?" asked Joe.

"I forgot."

 

[eytonxav]

An elderly man in Florida had owned a large farm for several years.

He had a large pond in the back.

It was properly shaped for swimming, so he fixed it up nice with picnic tables,
horseshoe courts, and some orange, and lime trees.

One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn't been
there for a while, and look it over.


He grabbed a five-gallon bucket to bring back some fruit.

As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee.

As he came closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women

skinny-dipping in his pond

He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end.

One of the women shouted to him,

"we're not coming out of this pond until you leave."

The old man frowned, "I didn't come

down here to watch you ladies swim naked,

or to make you get out of the pond naked."


Holding the bucket up he said:

"I'm just here to feed the alligator."

Some old men can still think fast.

 

[mickeyd]

An Ethical Dilemma - What Would You Do?

You are driving along in your car on a wild, stormy night. You pass by a bus stop, and you see three people waiting for the bus:

1. An old lady who looks as if she is about to die.

2. An old friend who once saved your life.

3. The perfect man (or) woman you have been dreaming about.

Which one would you choose to offer a ride to, knowing that there could only be one passenger in your car.

Think before you continue reading.

This is a moral/ethical dilemma that was once actually used as part of a job application.

You could pick up the old lady, because she is going to die, and thus you should save her first; or you could take the old friend because he once saved your life, and this would be the perfect chance to pay him back.

However, you may never be able to find your perfect dream lover again.

The candidate who was hired (out of 200 applicants) had no trouble coming up with his answer. I love this, I may actually use it sometime for an interview situation.

WHAT DID HE SAY?

He simply answered: ""I would give the car keys to my old friend, and let him take the lady to the hospital.
I would stay behind and wait for the bus with the woman of my dreams.""

Never forget to ""Think Outside of the Box."

 

[Alan]

Having had both as pets during my life I can relate to this quite well. (click on the image to read it better)

 

[mickeyd]

Those of You Born
1930 - 1979

TO ALL THE KIDS WHO SURVIVED THE
1930's, 40's, 50's, 60's and 70's!

First, we survived being born to mothers
Who smoked and/or drank while they were
Pregnant.

They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing,
Tuna from a can and didn't get tested for diabetes.

Then after that trauma, we were put to sleep on our tummies in baby cribs covered with bright colored lead-base paints.

We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles,
Locks on doors or cabinets and when we rode
Our bikes, we had baseball caps not helmets on our heads.

As infants & children,
We would ride in cars with no car seats,
No booster seats, no seat belts, no air bags, bald tires and sometimes no brakes.

Riding in the back of a pick-up truck on a warm day
Was always a special treat.

We drank water
From the garden hose and not from a bottle.

We shared one soft drink with four friends,
From one bottle and no one actually died from this.

We ate cupcakes, white bread, real butter and bacon.
We drank Kool-Aid made with real white sugar.
And, we weren't overweight.
WHY?

Because we were
Always outside playing...that's why!

We would leave home in the morning and play all day, As long as we were back when the
Streetlights came on.

No one was able
To reach us all day. And, we were O.K.

We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps
And then ride them down the hill, only to find out
We forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes
A few times, we learned to solve the problem.

We did not have Playstations, Nintendo's and X-boxes.
There were no video games, no 150 channels on cable,
No video movies or DVD's, no surround-sound or CD's,
No cell phones, No personal computers, no Internet and no chat rooms. WE HAD FRIENDS
And we went outside and found them!

We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth
And there were no lawsuits from these accidents.

We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt,
And the worms did not live in us
Forever.

We were given BB guns for our 10th birthdays,
Made up games with sticks and tennis balls and,
Although we were told it would happen,
We did not put out very many eyes.

We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and
Knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just
Walked in and talked to them.

Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team.
Those who didn't had to learn to deal
With disappointment.
Imagine that!!

The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law
Was unheard of.
They actually sided with the law!

These generations have produced some of the best
Risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever.

The past 50 years
Have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas.
We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility,
And we learned how to deal with it all.

If YOU are one of them?
CONGRATULATIONS!
You might want to share this with others
Who have had the luck to grow up as kids, before the
Lawyers and the government regulated so much of our lives
For our own good.

While you are at it, forward it to your kids so they will know
How brave and lucky their parents were.

Kind of makes you want to run through the house
With scissors, doesn't it ?

 

[kevink]

George Bush and the Devil

One day in the future, George Bush has a heart-attack and dies. He immediately goes to hell, where the devil is waiting for him.
"I don't know what to do here," says the devil. "You are on my list, but I have no room for you. You definitely have to stay here, so I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I've got a couple of folks here who weren't quite as bad as you. I'll let one of them go, but you have to take their place. I'll even let YOU decide who leaves."
George thought that sounded pretty good, so the devil opened the door to the first room. In it was Ted Kennedy and a large pool of water. Ted kept diving in, and surfacing, empty handed. Over, and over, and over he dived in and surfaced with nothing. Such was his fate in hell.
"No," George said. "I don't think so. I'm not a good swimmer, and I don't think I could do that all day long."
The devil led him to the door of the next room. In it was Al Gore with a sledge-hammer and a room full of rocks. All he did was swing that hammer, time after time after time.
"No, this is no good; I've got this problem with my shoulder. I would be in constant agony if all I could do was break rocks all day," commented George.
The devil opened a third door. Through it, George saw Bill Clinton, lying on the bed, his arms tied over his head, and his legs restrained in a spread-eagle pose. Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky, doing what she does best.
George looked at this in shocked disbelief, and finally said, "Yeah man, I can handle this !"
The devil smiled and said, "OK, Monica, you're free to go...."

 

[eytonxav]

Alabama​

A group of Alabama friends went deer hunting and paired off in twos for the day. That night, one of the hunters returned alone, staggering under the weight of an eight-point buck.
"Where's Henry?" the others asked.
"Henry had a stroke o' some kind. He's a couple of miles back up the trail," the successful hunter replied.
"You left Henry layin' out there and carried the deer back?" they inquired.
"A tough call," nodded the hunter. "But I figured no one's gonna steal Henry!"​

Georgia

The owner of a golf course in Georgia was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help.
He called her into his office and said, "Y'all graduated from the University of Georgia and I need some help. If I wuz to give yew $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?"
The secretary thought a moment, and then replied, "Everthang but my earrings."​

Louisiana
A senior citizen in Louisiana was overheard saying ... "When the end of the world comes, I hope to be in Louisiana ."
When asked why, he replied, "I'd rather be in Louisiana 'cause everythang happens in Louisiana 20 years later than in the rest of the world."​

Mississippi
The young man from Mississippi came running into the store and said to his buddy, "Bubba, somebody just stole your pickup truck from the parking lot!"
Bubba replied, "Did y'all see who it was?"
The young man answered, "I couldn't tell, but I got the license number."​

North Carolina
A man in North Carolina had a flat tire, pulled off on the side of the road, and proceeded to put a bouquet of flowers in front of the car and one behind it. Then he got back in the car to wait.
A passerby studied the scene as he drove by, and was so curious he turned around and went back. He asked the fellow what the problem was.
The man replied, "I got a flat tahr."
The passerby asked, "But what's with the flowers?"
The man responded, "When you break down they tell you to put flares in the front and flares in the back. I never did understand it neither."​

Tennessee
A Tennessee State trooper pulled over a pickup on I-65. The trooper asked, "Got any ID?"
The driver replied, "Bout whut?"​

Texas
The Sheriff pulled up next to the guy unloading garbage out of his pick-up into the ditch. The Sheriff asked, "Why are you dumping garbage in the ditch? Don't you see that sign right over your head."
"Yep," he replied. "That's why I'm dumpin' it here, 'cause it says: 'Fine For Dumping Garbage.' "​

***
Y'all kin say whut y'all want 'about the South, but y'all never heard o' nobody retirin' an' movin' North.​

 

[eytonxav]

Lost so much weight for Wednesday Weigh In......

 

[ChiliPepr]

Men’s Age as Determined by a Trip to Home Depot

You are in the middle of some kind of project around the house mowing the lawn, putting a new fence in, painting the living room, or whatever. You are hot and sweaty, covered in dirt or paint. You have your old work clothes on. You know the outfit – shorts with the hole in crotch, old T-shirt with a stain from who knows what, and an old pair of tennis shoes.
Right in the middle of this great home improvement project you realize! you need to run to Home Depot to get some thing to help complete the job.
Depending on your age you might do the following:


In your 20′s:
Stop what you are doing. Shave, take a shower, blow dry your hair, brush your teeth, floss, and put on clean clothes. Check yourself in the mirror and flex. Add a dab of your favorite cologne because you never know, you just might meet some hot chick while standing in the checkout lane.. And you went to school with the pretty girl running the register.

In your 30′s:
Stop what you are doing, put on clean shorts and shirt. Change shoes. You married the hot chick so no need for much else. Wash your hands and comb your hair. Check yourself in the mirror. Still got it. Add a shot of your favorite cologne to cover the smell. The cute girl running the register is the kid sister to someone you went to school with.

In your 40′s:
Stop what you are doing. Put on a sweatshirt that is long enough to cover the hole in the crotch of your shorts. Put on different shoes and a hat. Wash your hands. Your bottle of Brute Cologne is almost empty so you don’t want to waste any of it on a trip to Home Depot. Check yourself in the mirror and do more sucking in than flexing. The spicy young thing running the register is your daughter’s age and you feel weird thinking she is spicy.

In your 50′s:
Stop what you are doing. Put a hat on, wipe the dirt off your hands onto your shirt. Change shoes because you don’t want to get dog doo-doo in your new sports car. Check yourself in the mirror and you swear not to wear that shirt anymore because it makes you look fat The Cutie running the register smiles when she sees you coming and you think you still have it. Then you remember the hat you have on is from Buddy’s Bait & Beer Bar and it says, ‘I Got Worms .’

In your 60′s:
Stop what you are doing. No need for a hat anymore. Hose the dog doo-doo off your shoes. The mirror was shattered when you were in your 50′s. You hope you have underwear on so nothing hangs out the hole in your pants. The girl running the register may be cute, but you don’t have your glasses on so you are not sure.

In your 70′s:
Stop what you are doing. Wait to go to Home Depot until the drug store has your prescriptions ready, too. Don’t even notice the dog doo-doo on your shoes. The young thing at the register smiles at you because you remind her of her grandfather.

In your 80′s:
Stop what you are doing. Start again. Then stop again. Now you remember you needed to go to Home Depot. Go to Wal Mart instead and wander around trying to think what it is you are looking for. Fart out loud and you think someone called out your name. You went to school with the old lady who greeted you at the front door.

 

[Walt34]

Seven reasons not to mess with children:

[FONT=&quot]A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.

The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.

The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.

Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human, it was physically impossible.

The little girl said, 'When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah'.

The teacher asked, 'What if Jonah went to hell?'

The little girl replied, 'Then you ask him'.




A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work.

As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.

The girl replied, 'I'm drawing God.'

The teacher paused and said, 'But no one knows what God looks like'

Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, 'They will in a minute.'




A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year old's.

After explaining the commandment to 'Honor' thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, 'Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?'

Without missing a beat one little boy answered, 'Thou shall not kill.'




One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.

She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, 'Why are some of your hairs white, Mum?'

Her mother replied, 'Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white.'

The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, 'Mummy, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?'




The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.

'Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.'

A small voice at the back of the room rang out, 'And there's the teacher, she's dead.'



A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, 'Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face.'

'Yes,' the class said.

'Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?'

A little fellow shouted,
'Cause your feet ain't empty.'



The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch.. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:

'Take only ONE . God is watching.'

Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.

A child had written a note, 'Take all you want. God is watching the apples.'[/FONT]

 

[Alan]

These are classified ads, which were apparently placed in U.K. Newspapers:

FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER.
8 years old,
Hateful little bastard.
Bites!


FREE PUPPIES
1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbour’sdog.
FREE PUPPIES.
Mother is a Kennel Club registered GermanShepherd.
Father is a Super Dog, able to leaptall fences in a single bound.

COWS, CALVES: NEVER BRED.
Also 1 gay bull for sale.

JOINING NUDIST COLONY!
Must sell washer and dryer £100

WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE .
Worn once by mistake.
Call Stephanie.


**** And the WINNER is... ****
FOR SALE BY OWNER.
Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica,45 volumes.
Excellent condition, £200 or best offer.No longer needed,
Got married, wife knows everything.

---ooo0ooo---

 

[Alan]

Suicide or Murder? YOU BE THE JUDGE

A tough looking group of bikers were out riding when they saw a woman about to jump off a bridge,........ so they stopped and parked their Harleys.

Their leader, a big burly man, gets off his bike and says, "What are you doing?"
"I'm going to commit suicide,"she says.
While he didn't want to appear insensitive,he didn't want to miss an opportunity either, so he asked her, "Well,before you jump, why don't you give me a kiss?"
So she does... And it was a long, deep,lingering, spine-tingling kiss.
After she's finished, the biker leader says, "Wow! That was the best kiss I've ever had! That's a real talent you are wasting. You could be famous. Why in the world would you want to commit suicide?"
"My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl........".
The authorities think she may have been pushed.

 

[Alan]

Too old to drive?

 

[packrat44]

Two women were playing golf. One teed off and watched in
horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men.
The ball hit one of the men.
He immediately clasped his hands together at his groin,
fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in
agony.
The woman rushed down to the man, and immediately
began to apologize. 'Please allow me to help. I'm a
Physical Therapist and I know I could relieve your pain if you'd
allow me, she told him.
'Oh, no, I'll be all right. I'll be fine in a few minutes,' the
man replied. He was in obvious agony, lying in the fetal position,
still clasping his hands there at his groin.
At her persistence, however, he finally allowed her to help.
She gently took his hands away and laid them to the side,
loosened his pants and put her hands inside.
She administered tender and artful massage for several
long moments and asked, 'How does that feel'?
He replied: It feels great, but I still think my thumb's broken!

 

[eytonxav]

Only an engineer could come up with this