Richard4444
Full time employment: Posting here.
Best wishes - your "bunch of strangers" are also a good support group !
Rich
Rich
A buddy of mine, (who lost his wife ~ 4 years before mine), passed on to me, (and it was always in the back of my mind from then on), what someone had said to him at the time: "Always remember - it's not about you".
Very good advice. Thank you. I'm already reevaluating some things. I'm not sleeping well, not eating well and putting off exercise. As things settle down (all of the testing etc) and we move on to treatment I hope things will get better. Right now I just worry about her needs but I do know I have to take care of myself mentally as well as physically.No, it’s not. However, having lived through my DW surviving breast cancer twice and a bunch of other maladies, I can tell you from experience that there is almost zero support provided by the medical industry or, really, well-meaning but ignorant friends and family, for the caregiving spouse. The OP is in shock right now but, once he can start putting one foot in front of the other, it’s important that he finds ways of taking care of himself while the entire rest of his world focuses on his DW. Otherwise, problems build up due to the self-negation and self-subjugation of spouses in the treatment process. Get some exercise, eat right, get sleep, read, and HIRE YOURSELF A PROFESSIONAL THERAPIST. I have a therapist who gets me to open up about my stifled feelings around the whole matter and I wish I’d found her during my DW’s treatments. Everyone, including you, OP, expects you to shut up and get focused on your DW. I’m here to tell you, that’s not healthy and will lead to needed therapy for you, and likely couples therapy for you both, either now or later. Best wishes for you both.
I am very familiar with what you are going through. Make sure to keep living life to it's fullest and hug each other every day. Keep her optimistic on the treatments as it will add to her enjoyment of life during the hard times.
I also wish you and your DW did not have to go through this, but it will make you both stronger in your love for each other.
VW
So sorry to hear of your wife's diagnosis, you must both be in complete shock at this difficult time.
You might want to ask your HR department if you qualify for FMLA leave. This law protects your job while allowing you to take up to 12 weeks unpaid leave to take care of a sick family member. Some states offer paid leave but unfortunately I don't think yours is one of them.
Best wishes
https://www.dol.gov/general/topic/workhours/fmla
I do qualify and my company is behind me 100%. I'm holding off on that for now to see how the treatment goes. It's close to the house and her mom will be taking her. Should she become sick I will take the FMLA time. Shes pretty good right now. Slight pain and mild nausea. Treatments start later this week.
We second all of the above.1) Best wishes to your wife and hope she gets the right treatment and recovery.
2) Cancer diagnosis, including lung cancer, is not an automatic death sentence. Many effective treatments are available. Most importantly:
3) Please give very serious thought to visiting MD Anderson in Houston. They are one of a few premier cancer centers. I checked Google Maps - it's a 7 hour drive from Yukon. It is well worth the trip and you both will feel emotionally better once you see these experts.
1) Best wishes to your wife and hope she gets the right treatment and recovery.
2) Cancer diagnosis, including lung cancer, is not an automatic death sentence. Many effective treatments are available. Most importantly:
3) Please give very serious thought to visiting MD Anderson in Houston. They are one of a few premier cancer centers. I checked Google Maps - it's a 7 hour drive from Yukon. It is well worth the trip and you both will feel emotionally better once you see these experts.