Meaningful Purpose

[BradMM]

Life is uncertain, that doesn't change just becase we "retire."

Amen to that!

 

[BradMM]

Just me, but I did not have to retire to find my 'Real purpose in life'.

I am.

That pretty much sums up my purpose.

Oh wise Zen master....

I'm really bumping up my post count, aren't I!?!

 

[bbbamI]

I'm really bumping up my post count, aren't I!?!

Maybe that's your meaningful purpose.

 

[Nords]

"What would you do all day if you could do whatever you wanted without having to worry about getting paid for it?"
I've made a few runs at trying to answer it for myself. The excitement of the initial pursuit is engaging and feels purposeful.

Maybe it's about the journey, not so much the destination.

Until recently the injuries and sore back from my bike crash prevented me from exercising and playing piano. There was very little I could do. Some days I was going crazy from boredom.

When I was nursing my knees back to health a few years ago I went through a huge reading pile. These days I have a huge backlog of a reading pile.

I don't know if it's because I'm not satisfied with what I've done thus far or just want to get the most out of life. I really don't think it's competition but DW is PhD, CPA, and a bunch of other stuff. Son has masters in Nuclear Engineering and now in med school. Daughter-in-law just finished vet school. Daughter just published first book. Like I said, I don't feel I'm competing but as much as just trying to get more out of life.
Thanks for the feedback!

Dude, today is my ninth anniversary of ER and I just published my first book. It's not a race, not even against yourself.

Speaking for myself and the rest of the board's nuclear engineers, if nuclear engineering was worth the effort then he wouldn't be going to med school.

"Not all those who wander are lost."

 

[BradMM]

I also have a killer garden and besides the beauty of my flowers I am able to share my produce with everyone. Sometimes the little things are enough.

I've spent my life gardening and, the past few years, vegetable gardening. I can really get cranked up talking about that but my interest seems to have waned.

Someone mentioned doing what you wanted to do when you were younger and I used to be a writer. I made friends with a guy who was the gardening section (whatever they called it) for the NY Times but he's in a totally different league than me. I used to teach horticulture at the college level but, after nine years, politics got in the way. I started trying to work with a group who was supposed to be creating community gardens but they seem to be so locked into "MUST DO IT THIS WAY" that others can't seem to participate. My focus is now on the healthful nature of the food and the positive effect healthful eating quality food, ala Linus Pauling, can have. I used to cook a lot more but...

I'm kind of leaning toward the whole interpersonal relationships angle because I do agree with the idea that, in the end, that's about all that truly matters in many ways.

 

[BradMM]

Could it be that the purpose of your life was merely to serve as a warning to others?

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAHAHAHA...... probably!

 

[BradMM]

Thanks for hearing me out and now you know much of what there is to know about me! I do think that, after reading these excellent posts and different perspectives, that it still boils down to FEAR OF THE UNKNOWN. I don't want to waste the opportunity to try something new with my life and I feel pretty strongly that, if I had the chance to reflect on it in my death bed, I'd be extremely disappointed in myself for not having TRIED! As was said, it's often more the journey, not the destination, that's important, at least for me. I'm mostly ready for a new journey. Our finances and health care coverage are all in place for the rest of our lives, no obligations but to myself and DW so maybe I just need to take the LEAP OF FAITH and trust in myself to come out the other side in tact!

Thanks again to all!

 

[REWahoo]

I don't want to waste the opportunity to try something new with my life and I feel pretty strongly that, if I had the chance to reflect on it in my death bed, I'd be extremely disappointed in myself for not having TRIED!

Yep, you don't want to end up like Lilly Tomlin:

I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.

 

[traineeinvestor]

I don't have any hobbies that would fill the void and buying an RV and traveling all over wouldn't do it for me or DW. I have a small side business that I planned to work on developing in ER so that wouldn't be REAL retirement, more like changing jobs... but it's work that I would much prefer over current job.... I THINK. I hope!!!

I know that people who retire and haven't figured out how to deal with this issue struggle because their daily routine is no longer there to fill the void. I know some say "follow your passion" but I think that's a bit dramatic and a more reasonable approach would be to just find meaningful purpose.

What do you think

If you want your retirement to be successful, you don't retire from something - you retire to something better.

I've long since concluded that, for most people (including me), having a "bucket list" of many items is more realistic than waiting for a single, great, all singing, all dancing "life's purpose" to come along. In this day and age even us introverts have no excuse for not keeping physically and mentally active once we step away from the discipline of the w*rking world. The list of potentially meaningful things to do is endless.

 

[SpencerM]

Very interesting all. In my case in three years I will retire from what has been my passion for three decades. I will be 56 then and am in excellent health. My problem is that I would do my job for ten more years if it were possible (it isn't due to mandatory retirement age) even though I will soon be working for free.
Thoughts of something which I could do for fairly big money after are not yet appealing. It needs to have the same drive and motivation as before. I have traveled and lived overseas for years so travel for travel's sake is not the answer. I don't like TV, golf, or fishing ( a little).

The Ernie Zelenski books are good by the way but I'm still searching...

 

[travelover]

I've said this before, but I think that it bears repeating. For me, and I suspect for many, the hardest part of deciding what I want to be when I grow up is shaking off others' expectations. Those expectations sit there silently and heavily. We may not even consciously acknowledge them. But inwardly we have been trained to ask ourselves what would Dad think? What will my boss, my coworkers, the neighbors think?

I found peace when I declared that I was retired, I worked for it and earned it and I will do what pleases me.

 

[rescueme]

...what would Dad think? What will my boss, my coworkers, the neighbors think?

Actually, my father was an A-Hole (it's a long story), so it didn't matter.

As far as the others in my life? (e.g. "boss, my coworkers, the neighbors")

As a title of a book has stated - "What you think of me is none of my business"...

Life is great, assuming you start living it based upon your needs and expectations - not those of others...

 

[travelover]

Actually, my father was an A-Hole (it's a long story), so it didn't matter............

Yea, mine, too. I just threw that out there as I frequently see people trying to live up to their dad's expectations, real or imagined.

 

[REWahoo]

[-]Why am I suddenly overwhelmed by thoughts of falling acorns?[/-] j/k, I understand completely...

 

[flyfishnevada]

I found the Get-A-Life Tree exercise described in How To Retire Happy, Wild & Free by Zelinski and the concept from movie The Bucket List gave me tons (more than 50) of good ideas. I am just going to dive into all that, what doesn't pan out is fine, some of it will (or lead to other things). And Clyatt's book Work Less, Live More gave me lots of ideas too.

Same sources that kicked my imagination into gear, especially How To Retire Happy, Wild & Free by Zelinski. I didn't do a typical mind map, I built a list of things. I have tried some, haven't gotten to many of the things on the list.

It's actually easy to write 50, or more, items on a list. The harder part is motivating yourself to actually do them. I think that's where the real battle is. Whether you are inherently lazy (me) and need to get off your butt and do stuff or you're a workaholic and you need to force yourself to slow down and enjoy, it takes a little work.

 

[MuirWannabe]

Our FIRST is due in August! That might change EVERYTHING!

You think. Come back after August and let us know if this purpose thing is not colored different for you.

 

[BradMM]

If you want your retirement to be successful, you don't retire from something - you retire to something better.

I've long since concluded that, for most people (including me), having a "bucket list" of many items is more realistic than waiting for a single, great, all singing, all dancing "life's purpose" to come along. In this day and age even us introverts have no excuse for not keeping physically and mentally active once we step away from the discipline of the w*rking world. The list of potentially meaningful things to do is endless.

I'm sure that's true but, for me, after working at two jobs for the past 27 years that were basically just jobs to fulfill my obligations as a parent and a spouse, I want to do ONE THING in my career that *I* can feel proud of. Yes, there are things in my personal life that I can be proud of and I've done a good job at my jobs BUT... it doesn't meet my fulfillment requirement for my work life. Maybe that's unattainable but I don't want to stop trying. This is sounding a lot less about retiring and a lot more about working but I would retire from my "secure" job to pursue my fulfillment work on my own terms, doing what I want, when I want so it's related.

This is my sounding board for sorting these thoughts out that are running through my head with the help of all you kind folks! THANKS!

 

[FreeAtLast]

I would first start making some small changes. Perhaps do some shopping on your lunch hour. Take a different route to work if possible. Set some time aside for just you. Just anything to break the routine that your are in. A few small changes will lead to others.

You are quite correct that you are trading your life for $$. Don't stay at the job any longer than you have to and try not to bring it home with you.

 

[Bestwifeever]

I don't know if it's because I'm not satisfied with what I've done thus far or just want to get the most out of life. I really don't think it's competition but DW is PhD, CPA, and a bunch of other stuff. Son has masters in Nuclear Engineering and now in med school. Daughter-in-law just finished vet school. Daughter just published first book. Like I said, I don't feel I'm competing but as much as just trying to get more out of life.

Thanks for the feedback!

Your children's accomplishments are awesome and imho show that you and your DW had high expectations for them to be successful professionally and probably academically (as you and your DW presumably were/are). So not surprising that you'll continue to have high expectations of yourself in retirement. But it's possible you might never be happy completely (or at all) retired and will "need" to keep your hand in. That's okay--we don't have a 12 step program to help you overcome that. Yet. .

 

[BradMM]

But it's possible you might never be happy completely (or at all) retired and will "need" to keep your hand in. That's okay--we don't have a 12 step program to help you overcome that. Yet. .

That's funny that you would say that. AS SOON AS I POSTED THAT LAST COMMENT, that thought came to mind and I've been thinking about it ever since.

I think you've hit the proverbial nail on the head!!! Looking back, that's always been the case. Achieve my goal, then I'm no longer satisfied. Please hurry with the 12 step program!!!

 

[Webzter]

Well, it's obvious, you need to start dabbling in more esoteric areas and start publishing. For good examples of this, I'd recommend reading The Humanure Handbook by Joseph Jenkins and also the The Military Guide to Financial Independence and Retirement by Doug Nordman. Both are about putting up with a lot of crap to better your life (well, to be fair, I haven't gotten Nords's book yet... but I can tell from the Military part of the title ).

 

[kcowan]

I think you've hit the proverbial nail on the head!!! Looking back, that's always been the case. Achieve my goal, then I'm no longer satisfied.

Life is full of goals. Some are tactical and others are strategic. But for sure, they change and evolve with time. My list at retirement 8 years ago has evolved as things keep getting checked off.

Just try not to live vicariously through others. I have seen that pitfall with many fellow retirees.

 

[BradMM]

I'd recommend reading The Humanure Handbook by Joseph Jenkins

I have a lot of experience with composting and have skimmed this one... strange combination of books!

 

[Nords]

I have a lot of experience with composting and have skimmed this one... strange combination of books!

I spent a lot of my submarine career working with humanure too...

 

[kumquat]

A lot of us did it above sea level, too.