Mom just retired, with no savings...

[Dtail]

Not off base. Right on target.

Agree.

 

[trumpeting_angel]

Here’s a job search site for remote work for people with disabilities:

https://www.ntiathome.org/ntihome

 

[kitesurfer2]

i've read all the threads....historically when i comment, the thread is locked down, or i get ready to comment and see that it is shut down. i'm following this closely as my other in law is in this very situation. her life has been casinos and lotto and now may be upset that none of her 5 children want her (my words). we live in fla but she is a ny resident. she has been here in fla for 3 months and needs to go back to ny--schnectady. I AM NOT PART OF THAT family. ..and i just deleted all the rest of my rant

 

[ivinsfan]

i've read all the threads....historically when i comment, the thread is locked down, or i get ready to comment and see that it is shut down. i'm following this closely as my other in law is in this very situation. her life has been casinos and lotto and now may be upset that none of her 5 children want her (my words). we live in fla but she is a ny resident. she has been here in fla for 3 months and needs to go back to ny--schnectady. I AM NOT PART OF THAT family. ..and i just deleted all the rest of my rant

Go ahead and rant...no one ever said this a rant free zone. The gambling question is a hard one. We have a 62 guy grew up in our township. He has literally worked everyday of his life and has nothing. Low income jobs, GF and an ex-wife that took advantage of his good nature and him wanting companionship.

After his divorce he started going to the tribal casino ,he knows he can't afford it. Yet the lure of them treating him like someone special and the dream of one pull of the lever fixing his lifelong money problems is like a siren song. And of course he does win once in awhile...

I've known him over 45 years and can't help but feel some sympathy toward him. A couple of my other family members say they don't feel sympathy and that he is a F'*** idiot...but can't both things be true?

But I don't the gambling changing at this stage in life and I wouldn't think your MIL would change either.

 

[Amethyst]

This is one of the saddest things about being human, and alone. When you are driven to pay money just to get strangers to treat you nicely.

G. Yet the lure of them treating him like someone special and the dream of one pull of the lever fixing his lifelong money problems is like a siren song.

 

[OldShooter]

... Yet the lure of them treating him like someone special and the dream of one pull of the lever fixing his lifelong money problems is like a siren song. And of course he does win once in awhile ...

Worse, we are rewarded physiologically (dopamine) when we win and encouraged (dopamine again) when we see a gambling opportunity. No rewards for losing, so we tend to remember only the wins. And it's exactly the same for stock trading. "Your Money & Your Brain" by Jason Zweig.

 

[Time2]

She should go back and work a few more years. If she doesn't want to do that...then that is her choice. But, you do not have to enable that choice.

This is is good if she can work, although it is possible that any work she does will not add value to her SS. But the time delay will. Hopefully she could work past FRA and then collect SS without any deduction and have the extra income. Not sure that helps much if she doesn't save it.

 

[jazz4cash]

So what would you do that isn't "tough"?

I don’t know because I don’t have details. I’ll just say there are a lot of assumptions being made and none of us know many details. OP came here requesting investment advice.

 

[Wyniia]

In the end, I Love her but decided she should pay rent and half the utilities, this way I can further myself and will be better able to provide for her when the time comes and she really needs me. Also, she promised not to access any of the money I have put into an emergency savings fund for her. We are working on a second fund age/life related. We will look into programs and potential free Financial advice in our area as some of you have suggested. She has a VA loan still, if she let’s me continue to stay in charge of her funds and finds employment after Covid I will help her find a place to live near my Sister’s. Nothing fancy and close to groceries or job possibilities.
I want to thank everyone who commented, I still have to figure out if I can invest this money somehow. Returning the money to and SS is off the table. Be kind to one another and always remember some people just don’t know until they know. I know she can’t handle money so I find it most kind to take charge and handle it to the best of my abilities. I whole heartedly agree she needs to get back to work though as there is no disability stopping her. Thank you for all the wonderful advice and stay safe in 2021!

 

[Wyniia]

Here’s a job search site for remote work for people with disabilities:

https://www.ntiathome.org/ntihome

Thank you, trumpeting_angel!

 

[Wyniia]

You mother can afford to take that position because she feels she can live with you and you will cover the shortfall.

63 is young to retire unless financially you can support yourself. $1400 SS is not enough.

She should go back and work a few more years. If she doesn't want to do that...then that is her choice. But, you do not have to enable that choice.

I do believe in children helping elderly parents who don't have money. If she was disabled and couldn't work I would have no hesitancy suggesting you help her out.

But -- it sounds like she just doesn't want to work. She can only make this work because you are providing her a living space. Options -- you could simply refuse to let her live with you if she wasn't actively looking for work. You could give her a time limit if you feel she isn't really trying.

Another option, you could charge her true market rate for her to live with you including her share of utilities and food if you are providing. That assumes you don't mind her living with you when she could be working.

But, really if you want her to work, give her a deadline that she needs to either have a job or move out.... Again -- this all assumes there is no disability or health reason preventing her working.

Yes, thank you and I hear you!

 

[Wyniia]

You might have missed my earlier post. I moved my mother in with me when she was 62 and unable to support herself. I provided for her for 20 years as she did for me for 18 years until I went into the military. I would never have my mother on the street regardless of what I had to do.

This is not about her being in the street, rather than not in the street. She has several good years still and when the time comes we will be there for her, me and the Sis. It helps no one if she runs through her SS has nothing to show for. We are not all the same, but I’m happy that your mom has you!

 

[Out-to-Lunch]

Blessings and good luck upon you, Wyniia. I wish you well in this tough situation.

 

[daylatedollarshort]

In the end, I Love her but decided she should pay rent and half the utilities, this way I can further myself and will be better able to provide for her when the time comes and she really needs me. Also, she promised not to access any of the money I have put into an emergency savings fund for her. We are working on a second fund age/life related. We will look into programs and potential free Financial advice in our area as some of you have suggested. She has a VA loan still, if she let’s me continue to stay in charge of her funds and finds employment after Covid I will help her find a place to live near my Sister’s. Nothing fancy and close to groceries or job possibilities.
I want to thank everyone who commented, I still have to figure out if I can invest this money somehow. Returning the money to and SS is off the table. Be kind to one another and always remember some people just don’t know until they know. I know she can’t handle money so I find it most kind to take charge and handle it to the best of my abilities. I whole heartedly agree she needs to get back to work though as there is no disability stopping her. Thank you for all the wonderful advice and stay safe in 2021!

Good luck. Your mom is lucky to have you looking out for her. I think she could use a VA loan for a trailer home or manufactured home and that may be an affordable option to consider.

How the Trailer Park Could Save Us All - A healthy, inexpensive, environmentally friendly solution for housing millions of retiring baby boomers is staring us in the face. https://psmag.com/social-justice/how-the-trailer-park-could-save-us-all-55137

 

[ivinsfan]

I don’t know because I don’t have details. I’ll just say there are a lot of assumptions being made and none of us know many details. OP came here requesting investment advice.

Apparently not...it wasn't really about investments.

 

[garyt]

Apparently I am an outlier in this area.

Me too