My Retirement Struggle

[Major Tom]

Just last night, I dreamt of being in a final exam. Only 3 students including myself, and the prof. I finished my work early, but did not want to turn it in yet. I used the remaining time to dump out my backpack and re-organize its content.

When it was the end of the period and time to turn in the work, I could not find my sheets of paper. I got in a panic, and dumped out the content of the backpack to look for it. Nowhere to be found. At that point I woke up sweating.

And I finished grad school 42 years ago.

Funny you should say that. I still, from time to time, wake up in the middle of the night in a panic, convinced that I'm going to fail my finals. They were the last exams I ever took - 36 years ago!

My other recurring bad dream is a flashback to my days as a DJ/radio presenter. I get into a tizzy, worrying that I won't find the next song to play in time, and there will be dead air. I haven't worked in that field for 13 years now - and besides, it's such a silly thing to worry about. The worst that could happen is that a song runs out, and there is silence. I love silence! It's not as if what I did for a living was vitally important to humanity. Being an aerospace engineer, and worrying that an incorrect calculation could jeopardize the safety of passengers? That's a legitimate worry. Heaven knows why I thought that keeping the music playing was such a life or death pursuit. Beats me - but I still have the occasional bad dream about it.

Many of us worry about things that are not worth worrying about though. To put it all in perspective, in a few decades, give or take, all of our worries will be very inconsequential indeed.

 

[Sojourner]

No desire to work for someone else again. Ever.

+1

Since leaving my last full-time job seven years ago (time flies!), I've had dozens of dreams about being back at work again. Every single one of those dreams, IIRC, ended with my feeling agitated and uneasy about being in an office environment again. And then I wake up, realize it was a dream, and a wave of relief washes over me. I didn't hate my job, and in fact quite liked it overall for many years. But at this point, I have zero interest in giving up my time in service to some employer's arbitrary directives.

 

[Dtail]

I have been retired for 13 years, but at a later date than many here.due to my needing medical coverage for my brain injured wife.
Here is my story:


I am now 84, and still enjoying life with my wonderful wife.

Everyone should read this post.

 

[frayne]

This thread emphasizes the importance of planning for the non financial side of retiring. It’s cliche’, but what you retire to is more important than what you retire from.

So true.

 

[Badger]

I enjoyed my career but it had become time to retire 10 years ago. For a while I was getting offers from a few sources including my previous employer but I kept turning them down. Then my wife kept telling me of job opportunities and/or entrepreneurial prospects. I'm not sure why. Maybe she was trying to get me out of the house. But I kept informing her that we were financially stable until way past our sell by date and I was not going to do anything but play by my own rules.

Cheers!

 

[Teacher Terry]

I retired at 58 and within 7 months was doing some consulting and was asked to teach an online college course which I did every semester for 8 years. Then the university got a new dean who got rid of all the adjuncts. I have been retired for 3 years now and recently started a side gig as a professional organizer.

 

[Irishgirlyc58]

Next week is my one year official retirement anniversary.
I retired after 35 years in health and human services at age 63.
A month later I was offered a job working for an advocate organization related to social services. I took the job because the money was good, it was work from home, and I didn’t have to deal with politicians.
I hated it. Then they wanted me to go into the office a few times a week. That would have been a commute for me which would have meant getting up at 5 am to get ready to leave and not getting home until 7pm. I quit after 2.5 months.
Turns out I was just done working.
I like not having to be somewhere specific most days.

I have my grandkids over whenever their parents need me to and I’m not the least bit stressed about it.
They were just here for the night on a Monday.
It’s great.
Sometimes I think about being on a commission or board but then I realize that they will want me there at a specific time and I will have to listen to people drone on in meetings. Nope. Not going to do it. I just don’t want my time consistently taken up like that.

People will tell you that you need to retire to something but like most sayings that isn’t true for everyone. I’m perfectly fine not having anything to do.
It was an adjustment period though. If you keep going back to work you won’t ever adjust to not working.

 

[ncbill]

Just last night, I dreamt of being in a final exam. Only 3 students including myself, and the prof. I finished my work early, but did not want to turn it in yet. I used the remaining time to dump out my backpack and re-organize its content.

When it was the end of the period and time to turn in the work, I could not find my sheets of paper. I got in a panic, and dumped out the content of the backpack to look for it. Nowhere to be found. At that point I woke up sweating.

And I finished grad school 42 years ago.

I sometimes have those types of dreams, but in mine I have to make to the classroom for the final exam.

And when I do, I look down to discover that for some reason I am buck-a** naked...

 

[Winemaker]

I get an occasional nightmare of w*rking in low coal, and crawling around on my knees, although I never w*rked in a coal seam less than 7'. I'm 6'5".

 

[FREE866]

I still look at j*ob listings and think about being able to do it well. Interesting w*rk, good money, feeling valued, etc... But that is an old mindset.

I almost made it through 2022 without applying for a j*b, but I failed last month, before pulling out. There's always a goal for next year....

Anybody else have an old mindset to overcome?

I'm still on LinkedIn so I get updates from them that crack me up like "you're on a roll with your career"


I look at job postings and usually think " thank God I'm not doing this job for a living"


I don't even have too many hobbies, but I enjoy not working immensely. January will be 6 years. We are a lucky bunch of people. Don't ever forget that!

 

[COcheesehead]

LinkedIn was one of the first things I dropped when I retired.

 

[jollystomper]

No struggle. After 4.5 years of retirement, and having more than when I retired, I revel in the blissful lazy mental state of "holy cr*p, I am making more money than I need while doing whatever I want" .

I still have my LinkedIn profile primary to keep in touch with a few folks. But I have a canned response for the "we think you would be a good fit for this job" queries I receive that make them easy to deal with.

 

[vafoodie]

I’m right there with you. I miss having a work family and a routine so much that I’ve got myself subbing for 3 different school systems and supervising student teachers.

 

[RobbieB]

LinkedIn was one of the first things I dropped when I retired.

Yeah, no longer had the Co. email account and linked out when I left.

 

[Echard]

Very interesting thread. 58 and retired for two years. Did a little consulting for awhile. I don't really miss work because of the stress, but I do worry about ensuring I have enough money to fully fund retirement. By every financial measure, we have plenty of money, but I worry anyway. We don't have any pensions because I worked in the tech industry. I feel guilty when I spend money.

 

[sejones3]

I'm over it.

I retired at 57, 4.5 years ago. It was the right choice, but at first, I did miss some aspects of work. There is nothing like a serious health issue to help you decide that going back to work is not really a good option. I'd likely be dead if I had not quit when I did. Think about that before applying for your next job.

 

[Oh no]

I still look at j*ob listings and think about being able to do it well. Interesting w*rk, good money, feeling valued, etc... But that is an old mindset.

I almost made it through 2022 without applying for a j*b, but I failed last month, before pulling out. There's always a goal for next year....

Anybody else have an old mindset to overcome?

I was totally involved with a full and rewarding career for over 43 years. It took me about ten minutes to switch gears to retirement mode and I never looked back. Retirement is truly underrated.

 

[Retired Expat]

I try to focus on optimizing expenses. I view that as a hobby job. If I can save $1K a year while maintaining or raising our standard of living, over 30 years that is $30K, plus reinvestment income. I do projects I enjoy, and I can "work" when I want, without any set hours or commute.

I completely agree with Daylatedollarshort. Finding ways of saving money is just like earning more or working for oneself. My “job” for the first 5 years of an early retirement was to find investment opportunities that generated a cash flow to live on. Of course I could have withdrawn from investment accounts but that felt to much like spending my savings. Now I sleep like a baby knowing there is steady mostly passive income!

 

[Harris4crna]

I left my corporate j*b at age 52, actually was downsized. I had plenty to FIRE and did so for about 1.5 years. But an "opportunity" to do something I had always thought I might enjoy came along. I went to teach at a university. While I enjoyed the teaching and working with the students, I grew to hate the university administration. I w*rked my butt off and my student evaluations were among the highest, but never got any appreciation for it. One of the lowest priorities on the list for the admins was quality education. It was so disheartening that I left after 3.5 years. I realized that I could pay myself as much as they were paying me and without all the frustration and B.S.

So my advice is to tread carefully!

Interesting, I just got hired to work at an University after choosing to give up a lucrative position in the medical field. I wonder if I will come to the same conclusion. Fortunately, I will only be working as adjunct professor.

 

[Car-Guy]

Anybody else have an old mindset to overcome?

No!

 

[Harris4crna]

I still look at j*ob listings and think about being able to do it well. Interesting w*rk, good money, feeling valued, etc... But that is an old mindset.

I almost made it through 2022 without applying for a j*b, but I failed last month, before pulling out. There's always a goal for next year....

Anybody else have an old mindset to overcome?

I am new to the forum and new to semi-retirement. Yes, I am with you, I cannot accept full time retirement despite achieving FI with a military pension. I am 49 years old. I planned to retire at 52, but the body had other plans. Financially ready, but the mind not so much.

 

[mwacheson]

I will be 67 next month. I retired from my day job working in retail for 48 years in April of 2020. I also have a part time job teaching business at a community college, which I have been doing for 16 years. I am still teaching because I love it so much. I teach online classes, so it gives me a lot of freedom and helps me fill the days. I always liked work, and I can say that there are things that I miss. But my wife retired about 6 months ago so we have been doing a lot of traveling and just having fun. We have 6 grandkids and I have to say it is a great time in our lives.

 

[Amethyst]

I have zero desire for any job, including volunteering. Taking care of the house, yard, and finances is a 24/7 responsibility. I sometimes "serve" at church, but don't really enjoy it.

 

[vafoodie]

Very interesting thread. 58 and retired for two years. Did a little consulting for awhile. I don't really miss work because of the stress, but I do worry about ensuring I have enough money to fully fund retirement. By every financial measure, we have plenty of money, but I worry anyway. We don't have any pensions because I worked in the tech industry. I feel guilty when I spend money.

I have the problem of spending guilt too, and my husband and I have two pensions and our retirement savings.

 

[PointBreeze]

I still look at j*ob listings and think about being able to do it well. Interesting w*rk, good money, feeling valued, etc... But that is an old mindset.

I almost made it through 2022 without applying for a j*b, but I failed last month, before pulling out. There's always a goal for next year....

Anybody else have an old mindset to overcome?

Yes! I retired 5 years ago, and I still have these thoughts. But when the thought arises, I remind myself that even though I would be good at the job and would find it interesting, and would like feeling valued and getting income, I would hate having a boss, having to be somewhere at a specific time 5 days/week, having to get dressed up, etc. And then I grin and thank my younger self for LBYM and saving assiduously.