Paying for the wedding..

[corn18]

Thank you for starting this thread. I talked to my wife yesterday in hopes of trying to establish some parameters for our 2 DDs weddings (they are 22 and 20). To my surprise, she thought that was a not terrible idea. I left it at that as I was not prepared to discuss details, she caught me flat footed by not saying no outright.

You see, I firmly believe that any wedding that we have in our family will be for my wife's fulfillment, not the girls. I've talked to the DDs and know their thoughts. They could care less about a big wedding and would be glad to accept a check in lieu of paying for a fancy wedding. My wife, on the other hand, has a clear vision for what our DDs want for a wedding. And it ain't cheap.

 

[kgtest]

$80,000 on a wedding? They are not rich. It’s not my money but OMG.. there’s something about spending huge amounts of money on a 5 hour event. I guess its all that exposure to people smothered with credit card debt.

We eloped to an island and it was still all under $10,000 with 10 guests. In laws had set aside an amount for each of there kids, and apparently after my folks and her folks and ourselves all chipped in...in-laws cut a 20k check for our gift.



Wasn't a bad way to start our honeymoon. We scaled our wedding considerably considering there other kids. One was married at the yacht club and the other the vineyard.

 

[kgtest]

Have fun, dont stress it. Get lots of photos.

20 years later, what will matter will be the photos.

Truth. We spent a decent amount of energy finding the best photographer, and even that didn't quite work as planned (took 1 year to finally get full RAW images). heh

 

[brett]

My daughter and husband got married by JP. He came to their home and did it at the kitchen table (they had lived together for six years) No kidding.

After the 'ceremony', he tried to sell my SIL some give away knives as a business promo for SIL's business. Too funny.

The real event, a destination wedding at a high end AI complete with wedding ceremony. They had to do the JP route for legal reasons-at home and in the country where the AI was.

We spent far less on this wedding than we otherwise would have. Everyone got far more more enjoyment out of it. -20C and snow at home, +28C and sunshine at the resort. Daughter was thrilled with the entire event so I guess that is what counts.

 

[aja8888]

Thank you for starting this thread. I talked to my wife yesterday in hopes of trying to establish some parameters for our 2 DDs weddings (they are 22 and 20). To my surprise, she thought that was a not terrible idea. I left it at that as I was not prepared to discuss details, she caught me flat footed by not saying no outright.

You see, I firmly believe that any wedding that we have in our family will be for my wife's fulfillment, not the girls. I've talked to the DDs and know their thoughts. They could care less about a big wedding and would be glad to accept a check in lieu of paying for a fancy wedding. My wife, on the other hand, has a clear vision for what our DDs want for a wedding. And it ain't cheap.

Good point....a lot of weddings are really about the mother of the bride having it be "her" day too!

 

[Dash man]

We spent about $20k for DS and his bride’s wedding. Her family had no money, and DW wanted to give them a nice day. It was two days after Christmas, so the venue and hotel rooms were dirt cheap. The food was incredible as was the DJ. A lot of good memories made, especially since DDIL’s grandparents passed soon after and DMIL’s Alzheimer’s hit her hard soon after. It was like one last big family party.

 

[Teacher Terry]

I think part of the equation is how many kids do you have. I have 3 and DH has 2.

 

[socca]

With one DD and two DS, I would have a hard time giving her $XK and the sons $0...

My Dad gave my sister $10k for her wedding many years ago. Back then, it never even occurred to me to ask/demand a "marriage equalization payment" from my Dad. Is it too late to ask now, or has the statute of limitations expired on this particular stratagem?

BTW: my sister's marriage failed within 5 years. My Dad was pissed off; I don't know if it was the wasted money or something else.

 

[CowgirlUp]

DD #2 is getting married in October. She is 30-years old and runs her own business. We gave her $6,000 to use as she wishes. She was happy with that. Her future in-laws have also stated they’ll pay for anything the couple wants....no limit.