Pulling the trigger but...

[Hosmer]

Hello
Long time reader, first time poster. This forum has been a great learning tool and I want to thank all of you. I am posting because DW has finally made her decision to retire with me. We have been discussing this for the last year since we became financially independent and we wanted to retire at the same time.
Of course, I was ready months ago but DW is the pragmatic one and needed to ruminate and our history tells me that she is usually correct about such things. She is also 7 years my junior and recently hit the big 5-0 so she just wasn’t ready mentally yet to make the change.
She has a bonus coming in March at her employer and the plan is for us to give our employers notice after that. We each plan on giving 30-day notice since we have good relationships with our teams and bosses and want to assist with transitions if needed. We have already scheduled and paid for a month-long trip to Europe in May so there is no turning back now.
My issue is now that I only have 3 months to go before giving notice, I am becoming increasingly frustrated at work and am doing all I can to stay calm and get thru each day. My boss is somewhat aware of my plan (just not the actual date) and is supportive. So while there isn’t any pressure from above on me, just dealing with many of the daily BS issues is wearing on me because I can see the end.
Suggestions on how to get thru the next 3-4 months without biting someone’s head off?
I have created a spreadsheet of “Sundays to go” countdown until I give notice and that helps some but not enough.
Thanks in advance!

 

[levindb]

How many days of vacation do you have this year?

I had 6 weeks at that point in my career. I found that if I took 2 weeks vacation in January, followed by 2 weeks vacation in February, followed 2 weeks vacation in March, and then departed after 2 weeks in April everyone got used to me not being there.

Worked for me...

 

[Red Badger]

I was able to negotiate an expansive work from home package my last couple years. Really helped minimize (but not eliminate) the BS. My department (and those whom we interacted with) was globally dispersed. Not much F2F required, but lots of online meetings, etc. Going to the mother-ship was exception only (and rare).

But even most office staff were able to work from from home one day per week. Some a little more.

 

[Mdlerth]

Truth, Justice, the American Way... and Patience

My issue is now that I only have 3 months to go before giving notice, I am becoming increasingly frustrated at work and am doing all I can to stay calm and get thru each day. My boss is somewhat aware of my plan (just not the actual date) and is supportive. So while there isn’t any pressure from above on me, just dealing with many of the daily BS issues is wearing on me because I can see the end.
Suggestions on how to get thru the next 3-4 months without biting someone’s head off?

Imagine you are Clark Kent, sitting in a staff meeting and locked in mortal combat with your most insidious enemy: boredom. Lois Lane is looking particularly fetching today, distracting you from executive editor Perry White droning on about some new buzzword program that will boost the Daily Planet's competitiveness vs its media benchmark companies. Jimmy Olsen is blinking heavily, fighting the urge to doze.

You are the only one who knows your fabulous secret. You feel a massive urge to jump up, rip open your shirt to reveal that famous S-in-a-Diamond logo, and announce, "Hey, everybody, I'm Superman!"

But you know this is not the right time. So you summon all your Kryptonian willpower and gut it out. Secret identity preserved.

I have created a spreadsheet of “Sundays to go” countdown until I give notice and that helps some but not enough.

My countdown spreadsheet lists "Sundays to dread", "Total days to go" and "W*rkdays left". It helps some but not enough. It's all about perseverence: that which does not kill us makes us stronger. Keep the faith, baby.

 

[AS2019]

I have a countdown timer as well, but I find that it actually is more harmful to my state of mind than it is helpful. It keeps me focused on the fact that I don't have much longer, but that I'm also not quite finished yet. It makes it seem like the days pass very slowly.

What I find to be more useful is to just try to forget (as best I can) that I don't have much longer. I set shorter goals, like "Only X days until Christmas" or "Only X days until vacation", etc. If I have an event coming up like a Christmas party, then I try to focus on that instead of my retirement date.

I also start small, insignificant projects at home just to keep my brain occupied. I may build a set of shelves that I don't really need, or do some unnecessary landscaping, etc. Just anything to keep me occupied and keep my mind off of retirement.

Best of luck.

 

[pacergal]

I also had a calendar countdown, I had enough vacation saved to take a week off plus a long weekend every month prior.
The things that used to bug me were tolerable, as my thoughts were "that's the last time I have to do....."
Just knowing that I was retiring kept a smile on my face and made each day a little bit easier!

 

[Grimelowe]

I don't have any helpful advice. I'm in the same boat. All ready to go on April 3rd, and not enjoying the B.S. of my job.

I think not focusing on leaving is better for my mood and attitude. I also, have made a point to schedule lots of vacation (Dec 20th-Jan26th) and three more weeks in Feb and March to ease them into me not being there. I won't submit my LoR until Jan 27th.

 

[MRG]

Problem is your brain has moved on ahead of your body. The way to fix this is move on.

What is keeping you from giving notice today?

 

[HI Bill]

Just spend more time on these discussion boards!

 

[WyomingLife]

Just spend more time on these discussion boards!

+6

 

[HarveyS]

What is keeping you from giving notice today?

This is my thought. Get out now, have 3 months to do odd/ends around the house that you have put off, plan a big party for DW when she gets out, enjoy your new life.

 

[gamboolman]

Hosmer,
I have been and still am in a very similar situation. I'm sure we could swap stories and commiserate over some amber colored beverages....

I gave notice in Sep and it has been tough everyday dealing with the mega corp folks.
I retire effective 1-Jan-20.
We depart Lagos on 30-Dec-19 to Texas.

ms gamboolgal and I cannot wait to start the next chapter of life.
God willing, we will not ever get another stamp in our passports again.

Can't say the following is a good and healthy way to deal with it all. But it works for me....
Hang tuff pawdnaaaahhhhh......

Lifes A Dance And You Learn As You Go
gamboolman...

 

[Hosmer]

You are the only one who knows your fabulous secret. You feel a massive urge to jump up, rip open your shirt to reveal that famous S-in-a-Diamond logo, and announce, "Hey, everybody, I'm Superman!"

But you know this is not the right time. So you summon all your Kryptonian willpower and gut it out. Secret identity preserved.

this is great stuff. Thanks

 

[Hosmer]

Problem is your brain has moved on ahead of your body. The way to fix this is move on.

What is keeping you from giving notice today?

This is my thought. Get out now, have 3 months to do odd/ends around the house that you have put off, plan a big party for DW when she gets out, enjoy your new life.

great advice, thank you and my apologies. I see now that in my original post l failed to mention I also have a bonus coming in March, a bit earlier than DW. Our companies also have a working relationship (which is how me met)
and if one of us were to give notice, it would quickly become common knowledge and could impact her payout.

 

[Hosmer]

I don't have any helpful advice. I'm in the same boat. All ready to go on April 3rd, and not enjoying the B.S. of my job.

I think not focusing on leaving is better for my mood and attitude. I also, have made a point to schedule lots of vacation (Dec 20th-Jan26th) and three more weeks in Feb and March to ease them into me not being there. I won't submit my LoR until Jan 27th.

Best of Luck Grimlowe! I am right behind you

 

[Hosmer]

How many days of vacation do you have this year?

I had 6 weeks at that point in my career. I found that if I took 2 weeks vacation in January, followed by 2 weeks vacation in February, followed 2 weeks vacation in March, and then departed after 2 weeks in April everyone got used to me not being there.

Worked for me...

thanks.. will consider taking some days over the next few months. We get PTO and can accrue up to 8 or 9 weeks and get paid out on unused time upon separation from the company. Plan is to keep accruing and used the payout to pay for the month in Europe. But it might make more sense to use some to take a day every couple weeks for peace of mind.

 

[DrRoy]

I was comforted by the light at the end of the tunnel. Not much time left.

 

[ckelly78z]

My DW and I had this discussion on how she can work for the next 3 years when she hates her job so much. I told her to set her digital countdown watch on her phone, to 3 years, and see how it dwindles away (just like we did for our recent trip to Jamaica)...this way she can see her progess towards a goal.

 

[Maenad]

I'm also giving notice after my March bonus so I totally get where you're coming from. Something that has helped me is to spend time thinking about what I'm working on, what I want to get done before I leave, and how to pass down the various projects and tasks. Are there process improvements you'd like to push through before you go, or milestones you'd like to reach? Even if you can't accomplish those things, can you lay the groundwork to make it easier for whoever comes after you?

I can't help with the "countdown" mentality, though. My planner has a "weeks left" count on each Friday. I comfort myself that I'm going to retire at the beginning of spring, and can enjoy the earth's rebirth at the same time as my own.

 

[davebarnes]

We get PTO and ...Plan is to keep accruing and use the payout to pay for the month in Europe

Stop it!
You hit FI a year ago.
You have OMY syndrome.
Take time off. Lots of time off.

 

[Hosmer]

Stop it!
You hit FI a year ago.
You have OMY syndrome.
Take time off. Lots of time off.

Ha! agreed. I learned about OMY on this forum a couple months ago and was like " holy sh**! that is me to a T". Thanks for the Snap out of it post

 

[HI Bill]

Stop it!
You hit FI a year ago.
You have OMY syndrome.
Take time off. Lots of time off.

+1. I'm in the OMY syndrome, but I've taken off 8 weeks this year, and am using the j$b to pay for HI and trips...and toys. Really, really close to hanging it up. But each month, the salary would buy xyz (new floor, new computer, new camera, etc). Really hard to let go of the saving mentality.

 

[aja8888]

My DW and I had this discussion on how she can work for the next 3 years when she hates her job so much. I told her to set her digital countdown watch on her phone, to 3 years, and see how it dwindles away (just like we did for our recent trip to Jamaica)...this way she can see her progess towards a goal.

LOL! I'll bet she felt great about that suggestion!

 

[travelover]

My buyout was announced in October, but last day was February 28. I went in late, took long lunches and left early. During w*rk hours I hung out here, researched financial sites and worked various spreadsheets. Once everyone knew I was going, I had little to do anyway.

 

[EastWest Gal]

I spent a lot of my career in burnout, and understand what you are going through. The distress increases and decreases based on the events of the day. You will get through this. Stay for the bonus. Spring is a marvelous time to retire.

Practical suggestions:

When you are bored out of your mind: Mindfulness. Nothing fancy, take a few deep breaths and notice your surroundings-the view out the window, the pattern of a carpet, marvel at the work that went into the construction of the building you are in.

When you are stressed:
Gratitude. That you have had a career which allowed you to have security in your finances, unlike most. That you will soon be able to be master of your own time with the one you love most. That when you walk out that door next spring, you will have your first summer off since leaving school, and more freedom than you have ever known.