Quit the world at 34 and now "broken" and refuse to go back

For mind-mnd-boggling context... the hospital we ended up in was quite literally the newest/nicest I've ever stepped foot inside, her care was absolutely top notch (incredible really):
- her transportation (ambulance ride)
- 3 days in the ER
- couple days in a specialty ward
- all care and all testing (including several cat scans and MRIs) came to less than $4k!!

Pretty sure the ambulance ride in the states would have cost us that (much less a single night in any ER bed).

In FL and NC, I've paid for a couple ambulance rides to ER the last few years. They were about $500 after insurance paid about 50%. And the $4k for all the care mentioned, is a bit high after insurance, but it's in the ball park. We have the company's insurance too.
 
Wow! You're very brave and entrepreneurial. Looks like some of the risks people mentioned (and a pandemic no one anticipated) did manifest themselves at various times and you worked your rear off to meet the challenges. Congratulations on a great journey and thanks for taking lots of time to share.

We don't really feel brave (you should see us sailing with a squall nearby - its all terror):LOL:
But entrepreneurial sure... back in the day that just seemed like the only way to change our situation given the cards we held (other than buying lottery tickets and hoping for the best).

Funny enough, I was just looking back through this thread, and found this written from yours truly

But...if things got bad enough who ever knows??
Can I imagine a world where even though we aren’t what I would call over-leveraged, we still wake up to an economic disaster where all rents suddenly drop well below the mortgages, we can’t make our payments, can’t sell anything (house or boat) to get more cash, etc… sure.

But that's no different than the fears I had (before any investments) of a tanking economy where I lost my job and couldn’t afford the mortgage on my house… and at this point if things turn that far sour - i'm afraid all other markets are going to crash just as hard, and my finances might just be the least of all our worries.

All I can tell you is that we will try to adapt to changing conditions as we have so far...

I know when I wrote that I couldn't actually imagine a calamity that could lead to that set of events... clearly we now all can :(
- but ironically it went down almost exactly as I described back then (at least for us financially).
And all we could do was try to adapt.
 
This occurred to me, you are living what many novelists imagine sitting in a tiny room with a typewriter. Adventures beyond our imagination :). I read the books but would never have the guts to actually 'just do it' (as Nike would say).

Interesting...

I think there's a vast difference in signing up for an adventure, like "I'm going to go climb Mt Everest" and simply going for a walk/hike to see where it leads.
At some point you just take the elevation as it comes and keep enjoying the changing scenery... and you may just find yourself climbing a mountain without really having realized you were doing so.

We never made one great decision (other than maybe the original one to quit our jobs)... everything else has simply been a desire to keep moving forward (even if the landscape around us might keep changing and/or getting steeper day by day).
 
In FL and NC, I've paid for a couple ambulance rides to ER the last few years. They were about $500 after insurance paid about 50%. And the $4k for all the care mentioned, is a bit high after insurance, but it's in the ball park. We have the company's insurance too.

Sorry, this $4k ($3600 in reality I think) was before/without any insurance involved.

I won't claim any personal knowledge whatsoever here (as we thankfully haven't done similar things in the states)... but friends/family have shared experiences of ambulance rides costing over $1k, several people have shared that a single cat scan in the US could run $3600 alone and that a night in urgent care can easily be a $10k bill.

All of our experiences with health care/drugs in other countries (or even just in PR) have proven a small fraction of what they would have cost back home and with equal if not better care. Just something to think through as I often see these questions pop up about the significant cost of health care in planning for retirement.
I'm always amazed more peoples' plan isn't simply "get residency in a country with free health care", but that may well be the family/children back home factor.
 
The US medical cost is roughly 10x compared to other countries if you pay out of pocket.
 
This occurred to me, you are living what many novelists imagine sitting in a tiny room with a typewriter. Adventures beyond our imagination :). I read the books but would never have the guts to actually 'just do it' (as Nike would say).
I LOVE that!
Especially as someone who hopes to one day write it all down in a book to share our story with others - and especially as someone who just happened to meet/fall in love with the crazy dreamer next door... but certainly never believed at all it was possible himself.

Here's the thing, if I'm perfectly honest. I was you.
She was the inspiration/muse. I was terrified about the "what if's".

Now, I'm merely trying to help (in some tiny way) to do for others what she did for me... which, quite literally was to save my life - by getting me to find the courage to take a leap beyond the comfort zone and see what could be on the other side.

I'm certain that eventual book will feature the many adventures (and hopefully many yet to come) - but in my mind, it's not an adventure novel but a love story. Our love for each other yes, abut also having enough love for ourselves to... 'just do it' despite being scared.

also... SO sorry for not responding sooner - will never understand why this site doesnt ping me that someone has written. :flowers:
 
Well... I once again forgot about this little corner of the interweb until someone reached out asking for some advice. So glad to see everyone is still fighting the good fight and helping others along as best possible toward to promised land!

Small/quick-ish update from here, lets see:
- Spent a couple years working to transition our post-ER "passion project" turned remote-run business over to a friend who wanted to be involved so we could regain the balance/freedom we'd grown used to. Unfortunately, I was all too concerned about him feeling "equal" and gave him 50% upfront for running it while we were away - only to discover that he was a covert narcissist who treated the team and clients horribly and eventually decided to burn it all to the ground on his way out.
That thing they say about "never working with friends"... I always fought hard against it, but beginning to agree. Whatever you do (friend or no)... Always hold on to at least 51%. ALWAYS.

- We sailed across the Pacific Ocean successfully (aka, we lived) as only double handers.
Have to say, this was never on our bucket list or goals - but the sense of accomplishing something that is so enormous (more people climb Everest each year than sail across the Pacific - with or without help) all on your own is a very real thing!!
Sadly, that was almost immediately followed by us getting hit by an unforecast storm (essentially a Cat1 cyclone that formed right on top of us with no notice) which stranded us on one of the planet's most remote atolls for over 90days (yes, really) while we tried to repair our navigation system and propulsion on our own.

We were finally able to get back underway and enjoying these picture-perfect islands/atolls, spent almost a year hopping between the Tuamotus and then several months in the societies (the ones youve actually heard of - Tahiti, Moorea, BoraBora, etc). Pure bliss doesn't really describe the last 2years... not even close.

- That said, to be honest - because we also found ourselves without a livelihood/income (which we had accidentally grown a bit accustomed to), and between the repair expenses, the legal fees trying unsuccessfully to save our business (and the simply absurd expense of buying ANY food/drink/parts here for the last 2 years) it's fair to say we were blowing through savings at an uncomfortable pace - and once again find ourselves running out of spending money.
I know, I know - this is where the majority once again jumps in to call out "I told you so - you left too early", but I will once again quickly turn that around and retort (as always) that our unplanned "gap year that lasted now 12years and counting" is still the single best decision we ever made.

In fact, instead of even considering heading back home or selling our floating home (I'm sure I don't have to mention that boats are NOT a good investment), we are selling our house/home back in the states instead. Honestly the longer we're away the less likely it looks that we will ever return (for many many reasons), and we'd rather have that money here outside the country. The real turmoil comes when deciding what to do with the cash (and loss of some passive income).

Put it in some accessible account and slowly watch it dwindle over the coming years, dump it into the market at all time highs (doesn't really help the current cashflow issues), invest it into some beach/island we can homestead on and design/build a little modern palapa we can snorkel out front of, crypto I guess - or (and this one pains even me) possibly buy another boat. Yep, cringed just typing it.

Only thing worse (investment-wise) than wasting money on a boat has to be wasting money on another one... but we're seriously considering it because one thing we're learning out here is exactly how much we enjoy sharing this lifestyle/freedom with others - so we're telling ourselves that a newer/bigger boat might make it easier/more likely for us to bring guests onboard for a few weeks at a time to share our world with them.

One thing we know - is that regardless of how all-too-fast we are burning though money we dont have (and don't have a backup plan to replace)... we are NOT yet ready to stop living this way (mostly because we are well aware that as we get older it is less and less likely that we'll ever be able to do this again - it is amazing on every level, but it is NOT an easy life on mind or body).

We will see - nothing like finding yourself at yet another crossroads (and as typical - financially driven)... but it is worth noting, just I as probably do/have in each and every check-in here... that life s too damn short to not get out there and live it (in whatever CRAZY way you can dream up/imagine is your best life), and you DO NOT have to have it all figured out before you go!!

RE does not mean dying. It does NOT mean that you'll stop wanting to do creative things, or helping others or starting something new - and if our experience is anything, you might be really surprised how easy it is to make money simply because you decided to do the thing you love and then find out others are demanding to pay you for something you'd happily do for free. If you love your job and/or can even find a balance that works for you and you family great. More power to you.
But if you're like us 12years ago, and miserable, please... do not rot away in a life that doesn't light you up.

Take steps forward to make change and figure some of it out along the way (and make sure you aren't putting everything you dream of on hold for after you RE - you might not be here to see it).
It is FAR more likely you'll regret the things you didn't do/try than the ones you did - and who knows... maybe you'll turn out to be on the other side, where every few years you look back and laugh because somehow you turned out with FAR more than you could have ever imagined possible (after a lot of questionably irresponsible decisions), and still young enough to enjoy all of it fully while raising the bar of what you think is possible moving forward!!

Oh, and as always - please don't hesitate to ask questions, reach out on the side if we can help in any way, etc. Just make sure you enjoy the journey!!
 
Thanks for checking in. As always, I am amazed by the wide variety of ways people find to fulfill their life's mission. You are living the dream of many people, and I wish you well.
 
I just found this thread, read the first 3 pages of it, skimmed through all of OP's posts and these last 2 posts. I totally get where you and your wife are coming from.

I was married to a man who was a sailor/cruiser. He retired almost 20 years ago and wanted to spend the rest of his life cruising. It is simply not a life that I want as I love luxurious stuff - nice big home, nice cars, country club, golf, fine dining etc. Anyway, the difference between you and him is that he was FIREd and could afford to spend the rest of his life cruising. We split up shortly after he retired, simply because we wanted different lifestyles. I remained working. He bought his first sailboat 30 years ago and bought a second boat about 12 years ago and splits his time between the 2 boats (one is docked north where he spends his time in the summer) and one of his homes during "off" season. He found his soulmate who wants the same thing that he does and have been together for many years now. You might even have met them as they spend alot of time in the Caribbean and Mexico.

At some point, you and your wife will need to figure out how to make it all work financially. Not having enough money to live on is stressful, alot more stressful than having a job that pays well!
 
I applaud you for giving it a go. A go that ran 12 years while you were young and unencumbered. Personally I can't think of any I know who opted for such an audacious move. Maybe I'm travelling in cautious circles :)

One of the reasons I slog in every day is that i feel the degree of difficulty increasing with time and i imagine how that might feel 10 years from now - probably untenable for me. So I strive to save, calculate and prepare now to have the freedom of choice when i need to tap out in the not-so-distant future.

Even being in it, the human world passes you by. I am concerned for you that if you have to go back to a job (i hope you find another way) , the resume is looking thin, you are older and your skills are 10 years out of date-a lot has changed in program management in the last 10 years. It may be difficult to slip back in at the level you were at.

You seem mentally flexible enough to realize your round peg might not fit that square hole anymore and theres plenty of other options, if you are open to them.

Fair winds :)

pwf
 
I read first and last two pages and WOW! Very cool. I am curious how much cash did you retire with at 35? I think you found barista fire working as you needed to get along and have managed beautifully. That being said I don't think most people have the nerves needed to do it. But I don't think that you need a ton to retire, more you just need to manage what you have.

Personally we did a year sabbatical at the worse time financially, but best time of our life. It was stressful because of the kids and moving and everything else wondering if we had made a mistake. But it was A LOT of fun and the journey was part of the process. We're xers as well and yep we were 35 and 37 when we did it with 2 kids. I wonder if generation xers tend to be a bit more adventerous about work? Say la vie. At that time we thought okay we take a year of no income, we'd just work another year on the backend to make up for it!

Now 10 years later the kids are older and we're stuck in a rut of they need to finish high school and i don't think road tripping cross country and camping/hotels would work. Maybe after they launch.
 
I love your stories. I can live vicariously through them. No chance I'd be that adventurous but at least I moved 5000 miles after 60 years in the same place (FWIW).

I hope you find a way to monetize your adventures.
 
I LOVE THIS! I just read/skimmed through all of these posts and it definitely motivates me to get out there, take some risks and live life to the fullest. DW and I got a van last year and spent 5 weeks traveling in it. I retire this year and it's time to live it up.

When DW and I were in Costa Rica several years ago, we ran into a young family with young children who traveled full time. At the time we pondered what it would be like to leave it all and do the same with our 3 daughters. I still think about that, what it would have been like. Well, our youngest graduates HS in 4 months, I now have a great pension and am 46. Time to start the next chapter in life and explore!

Also, I spent 4 nights on a small sailboat in Half Moon Bay, CA when I was 17. I have always wanted to sail and would love to try it out ( I live in AZ Now) Where do you recommend me starting to get into that and learning?

Thanks for the motivation.
 
Living on a boat is comparativly harder than what I do. I wanted harder, but married a non-adventuresome person and ended up on a cul-de-sac.

The opening post about trying to live your enjoyment in 2 weeks of annual vacation struck home. There's another thread about what if you could give up wealth to be 18 again. I'd do it, and would not "work for the man" taking his meager 2 weeks. I'm not sure I'd be quite as nomadic, but I would not be a wage slave again.
 
Living on a boat is comparativly harder than what I do. I wanted harder, but married a non-adventuresome person and ended up on a cul-de-sac.

The opening post about trying to live your enjoyment in 2 weeks of annual vacation struck home. There's another thread about what if you could give up wealth to be 18 again. I'd do it, and would not "work for the man" taking his meager 2 weeks. I'm not sure I'd be quite as nomadic, but I would not be a wage slave again.
This reminds me of the quote "When I was 18, all I wanted to be was a millionaire. Now that I am a millionaire, all I want to be is 18"
 
I did the sailing thing with my ex-husband for the 11 years that we were together, mainly when I was vacationing. He was living on the boat in Hong Kong, working for the same mega corp, when we met. Before he moved back to the US, he sailed his boat from Hong Kong down through Singapore, Indonesia and then lots of time in Australia. We also did the whole Alaska thing sailing through the Inside Passage and into Glacier Bay. We had alot of great time doing that but it is not a life that I want to live. It's one thing to do it on vacation, another thing to make it a way of life.
 
I read first and last two pages and WOW! Very cool. I am curious how much cash did you retire with at 35? I think you found barista fire working as you needed to get along and have managed beautifully. That being said I don't think most people have the nerves needed to do it. But I don't think that you need a ton to retire, more you just need to manage what you have.

Personally we did a year sabbatical at the worse time financially, but best time of our life. It was stressful because of the kids and moving and everything else wondering if we had made a mistake. But it was A LOT of fun and the journey was part of the process. We're xers as well and yep we were 35 and 37 when we did it with 2 kids. I wonder if generation xers tend to be a bit more adventerous about work? Say la vie. At that time we thought okay we take a year of no income, we'd just work another year on the backend to make up for it!

Now 10 years later the kids are older and we're stuck in a rut of they need to finish high school and i don't think road tripping cross country and camping/hotels would work. Maybe after they launch.
I guess Id have to look back, but I believe our "number" was 100k in the bank. Sadly, right as we were prepping to quit the universe did what the universe does (tried to freak us out) and sent us a bill for a roof repair, which led to finding significant rot, etc - so it ended up being more like $70k. Probably NOT what most would suggest, but we also had some real estate investments (all losing money at the time, but plans for the future at least).
 
I applaud you for giving it a go. A go that ran 12 years while you were young and unencumbered. Personally I can't think of any I know who opted for such an audacious move. Maybe I'm travelling in cautious circles :)

One of the reasons I slog in every day is that i feel the degree of difficulty increasing with time and i imagine how that might feel 10 years from now - probably untenable for me. So I strive to save, calculate and prepare now to have the freedom of choice when i need to tap out in the not-so-distant future.

Even being in it, the human world passes you by. I am concerned for you that if you have to go back to a job (i hope you find another way) , the resume is looking thin, you are older and your skills are 10 years out of date-a lot has changed in program management in the last 10 years. It may be difficult to slip back in at the level you were at.

You seem mentally flexible enough to realize your round peg might not fit that square hole anymore and theres plenty of other options, if you are open to them.

Fair winds :)

pwf
Please dont be concerned.
Interestingly enough, I pulled together a resume a few months ago because a good friend was working on a project and it sounded fun/exciting enough that I was intrigued about working with them in a sales role. Obviously when trying to sell the goal of adventure/sailing/liveaboard lifestyle to others - taking their calls from the helm of your own boat and looking out over an island while you chat doesn't hurt.

I realized almost immediately that I hadn't made or updated a resume in 24years!
I also soon realized pretty quickly that I wasn't interested in the work... but that's not to say there aren't other possibilities like it if or when I decide I might enjoy them (key word being ENJOY, not need).

I think this is the common misperception when sitting back home at a desk (I used to have the same one) - that the only job you can find is that of a similar nature to the one you've already had.
Our experiences have proven quite the opposite. First we designed/renovated a small home for ourselves (with little to no knowledge), which led to starting a small space architectural design business. Then we designed/built our own campervan (with little to no knowledge), which led to a business designing/building them for others. Now we happen to be learning skillsets to related to sailing, which opens up options we would have never considered before...
If anything my resume is GROWING at a profound rate, and Ive made more money off of all of the ventures described above than I ever made sitting at a desk for someone else.

I sincerely can't see us ever returning and shopping resumes.
Far better chance we start another passion project. Just spitballing, but guessing that might look like eventually finding the perfect beach/island (now that we've explored 100s of them), deciding to invest and build a community there that others want to invest in, etc. Money to be made, but more importantly setting ourselves up for the life we want to live for a few decades while surrounding ourselves with like-minded people. Im getting excited just spitballing about it!

"The world passing you by" is exactly why we're out here living it!!
Non-linear thinking and following passions has taken us far further than any resume updates ever would have - and we aren't about to change up that approach now.
 
I LOVE THIS! I just read/skimmed through all of these posts and it definitely motivates me to get out there, take some risks and live life to the fullest. DW and I got a van last year and spent 5 weeks traveling in it. I retire this year and it's time to live it up.

When DW and I were in Costa Rica several years ago, we ran into a young family with young children who traveled full time. At the time we pondered what it would be like to leave it all and do the same with our 3 daughters. I still think about that, what it would have been like. Well, our youngest graduates HS in 4 months, I now have a great pension and am 46. Time to start the next chapter in life and explore!

Also, I spent 4 nights on a small sailboat in Half Moon Bay, CA when I was 17. I have always wanted to sail and would love to try it out ( I live in AZ Now) Where do you recommend me starting to get into that and learning?

Thanks for the motivation.
YESSS!!! Vanlife is the best (just not close enough to the ocean for us despite the fact we almost always parked/camped on the beach)!!

We have SO many friends out here (vanlife and boatlife) doing it with kids, and I have to say - they are the BEST kids ever. What a life!!

ENJOY!!!
 
I don't want to live in a van or boat personally. But I like the idea of not being a wage slave. I tell people we're not wage slaves we're kid bound We had the kids and I felt like we got tied down with them. They've been awesome and fun and interesting so well worth it. But ER and just living in general with kids is so much harder. Your life is not your own. Maybe some kids would do well homeschooling and traveling and everything. But some are not that kind of kids.

But ER is about the journey not the end. And i must say that along the way it's been a lot of fun with them than without them.
 
@brydanger, 22 years ago, after a divorce, feeling adrift, and thinking "money is no longer that important to me in the grand scheme of things," I quit my job at a law firm, sold everything, and set off on an open-ended adventure, hoping it might help me figure out what I wanted to do with my life. I thought I might travel the world, but I didn't get farther than Central America and a bit of the Caribbean. I had enough in savings that I could go for a year without a job if I had to when I came back to civilization, which was the plan to do at some then-indefinite point.

But, unlike you, after a year of wandering, and not having had the great epiphany about what I wanted to do with my life, I chickened out. I came back to the US and my old profession, albeit in a reduced-responsibility role--I never again chased the almighty dollar, and I took loads of time off to travel. I just couldn't see myself doing either the full-time nomadic life OR the full-time suit-and-tie life and, unlike you, I did not have or develop skills to do anything else to earn money--not really. As you can imagine, I met plenty of people who had done it, but I never met anyone whose lifestyle really appealed to me. There were those who had taken odd jobs such as bartending, and some who had even bought the bar, a few with boats who had run out of money, those who adopted a sort of hippie lifestyle making handicrafts, and then there were the scuba instructors and English teachers .... But I never ran across anyone who seemed to have made it work quite like you have. Granted, if I did the same thing today I imagine I would run across digital nomads and travel bloggers/influencers--things that didn't really exist back when the Internet was young. I recall having to go find an "Internet cafe" to check email every week or two and let the people back home know I was still alive.

It seems to me that you have a wonderful combination of attitude and abilities. It seems that you: (1) are not afraid of taking big risks, (2) had a safety net back home in the form of real estate, and (3) had or were able to develop useful, in-demand skills--beyond the sort of commonplace skills I mentioned (bartending, etc). My impression is that this third facet--the development of useful skills, including a knack for starting businesses--is really what separates you from most who attempt this sort of thing. Can you tell I am envious? I have never been a risk taker, I didn't have much of a safety net back home, and I have no entrepreneurial instincts whatsoever. Some people have a "can-do" attitude; I have a "can't-do"--I'll find every reason in the world why attempting something would be futile. And the last thing I would ever do is buy a Bust Out Another Thousand, though I do recall fondly hitching rides as crew on others' boats.

Still, taking even just a year off and traveling, even though it sort of wrecked my career trajectory, was the best thing I ever did. I am so impressed to see that someone was able to make a real go of the nomadic life and not just eke out a life on the fringes of society.
 
This is what I hope for as a successful retirement--to be able to do what I desire, in my own timeframe and to have enough money to live as I wish and not be a burden to my kids.

brydanger, it seems you are living your own successful retirement life--good for you!
 
I just found this thread, read the first 3 pages of it, skimmed through all of OP's posts and these last 2 posts. I totally get where you and your wife are coming from.

I was married to a man who was a sailor/cruiser. He retired almost 20 years ago and wanted to spend the rest of his life cruising. It is simply not a life that I want as I love luxurious stuff - nice big home, nice cars, country club, golf, fine dining etc. Anyway, the difference between you and him is that he was FIREd and could afford to spend the rest of his life cruising. We split up shortly after he retired, simply because we wanted different lifestyles. I remained working. He bought his first sailboat 30 years ago and bought a second boat about 12 years ago and splits his time between the 2 boats (one is docked north where he spends his time in the summer) and one of his homes during "off" season. He found his soulmate who wants the same thing that he does and have been together for many years now. You might even have met them as they spend alot of time in the Caribbean and Mexico.

At some point, you and your wife will need to figure out how to make it all work financially. Not having enough money to live on is stressful, alot more stressful than having a job that pays well!
I make a lot of money and have a high NW. I am totally stressed with the “money” lifestyle and job. Many people would say I and others in boat are just as stressed as this guy.
 
Still, taking even just a year off and traveling, even though it sort of wrecked my career trajectory, was the best thing I ever did. I am so impressed to see that someone was able to make a real go of the nomadic life and not just eke out a life on the fringes of society.
Best thing we ever did too.

You are correct in most all of your accounts - but i also want to be clear that we probably started out closer than you might think (i had to abort a couple time before leaving to save more money, was terrified nearing the end of the first year as the money was running out and I couldn't possibly see how our skillsets transferred (we had never tended bar, etc)... but like most skills in life, learning to adapt, trusting in yourself and being a bit comfortable not knowing all the answers and/or what is coming all get easier the more you do them.
Also fair to say that some things (like starlink) have been complete game changers from the "find the nearest internet cafe" days. =)

No question this lifestyle isnt for everyone (and youll never see me trying to convince the masses). I mostly post/share (hear, social media, etc) for those who were us back in the day... miserable and couldn't find a way out (or to settle in), much less anyone to tell them it might just be okay and you might just survive (and who knows... you could just thrive)!
 
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