Franklin
Recycles dryer sheets
My wife and I had some parallels with your situation, but some significant differences as well. We were 22 and 23 years old, 36 years ago.
I was just out of Engineering college, so I had a good income relative to most. I also had $6,000 cash and no debt, so I was planning on buying a house. She was a real estate agent and a part time waitress. Since her real estate career had not been established, she wasn’t making many commissions. She also had a significant debt to her Father. I think it was on the order of $3,000. We also agreed that she should quit her waitress job for various reasons.
We dated for about 3 months before we decided to live together. However, both of us expected that if the living together part went well, we would soon marry.
I bought a house about the time we got engaged. I knew at the time it was a stretch for me, but like you, I found out it was a bigger stretch with all of the bills, furniture, etc.
However, I loved my then girlfriend/fiancé dearly, and there was nothing that was going to stop us from moving towards marriage and the rest of our lives.
Yes, there were compromises. Several that I will not go into details on, but that is the choice we made with one salary significantly more than the other, and one person a natural saver and one person a natural spender.
We are now happily married for 35 years So I would suggest you look long and hard at your SO, and decide if you want to move forward into a long-term relationship. Couples often have different incomes, financial goals, and family backgrounds. It can work, as we proved.
The question is, do you love him enough? Seems like I have not heard that, and if you did, none of this might not matter to you. Just my opinion. Good luck to you
plus 1. Been married under very simular circumstances for 32 year. Yes DW's financial habits drive me crazy, but that is called marriage. I am sure I've got things that drive her nuts as well. If u love him enough you can balance this out. The love is more important than $ (within reason!!). Student debt would not run me off. Most importantly you should talk it out and address the issue head on.