Sad November. Changed Life Ahead

[pacergal]

Adding my condolences.
Most important is to allow time to grieve, remember good times, let go of any bad ones.
Best wishes as you close out the estates.

It is a different feeling of loss when the last parent passes.

 

[aja8888]

My condolences to both of you. In time, you two will get the estates settled. Don't rush.

On another note, for me, I am putting together an "End of Life" notebook for my daughter so when the time comes, all she will have to do is do what's spelled out on each page.

 

[brett]

May the memory of your father be a blessing for you.

My parents have both been gone for 13 plus years. There is hardly a day that goes by that I do not think of one or both of them.

Not long ago I was faced with a somewhat difficult personal decision. I was of two minds as to what to do. I reflected on what I thought my parents would do in the same situation and followed through on that course.

I was one of the lucky ones.

 

[Jerry1]

93-yo DM died on Nov 19.

Pb4uski - my condolences on the lost of your mother.

All - thank you very much for your kind words.

 

[More Cowbell]

Jerry1, I'm very sorry to learn of you and your DW's losses. Wishing you both comfort and strength going forward.

 

[marko]

Condolences. Two at once is a hard hit.

 

[Dreamer]

I am sorry for both of your losses. Wishing you the best on taking care of their affairs and for the grieving process.

My mom loved Christmas and it still hurts when I think of her at this time of year. She has been gone since 1991.

 

[Dreamer]

pb4uski: I offer you my condolences on the passing of your mom.

 

[EarlyandLate]

My condolences to those of you who recently suffered losses. This is one of the realities of getting older. I'm sure many of us have this looming on the horizon.

 

[O2Bfree]

Oh, gosh, sorry for your losses. Right before Christmas too—sad. I hope there are no family members who will cause trouble as the estates are being settled.

 

[Koolau]

Losing parents can be very sad. My condolences to those going through this phase of life.



I feel blessed that neither of our parents left a financial "mess" to clean up. Their estates were virtually non existent so required no probate and very little legal w*rk. We are trying to figure out our end-of-life plan. It's complicated. YMMV

 

[Qs Laptop]

Losing two parents the same month must be very difficult. You have my condolences.

 

[Walt34]

So sorry to learn of this. DW and I have both had to deal with administering estates for a parent. It's not an easy task even when all is prearranged, but it is a form of closure.

 

[ejman]

Condolences to both of you.

 

[alwayslearningmore]

Deepest condolences. May they rest in peace.

 

[Markola]

Thank you for sharing your story, as what you’re facing is ahead for a lot of us. Best wishes.

 

[Rianne]

So sorry for your loss. I still go through pictures, talk about memories, and dream about my mom. She passed in 2014 but she's relevant today. So many bits of wisdom she shared throughout my life. Cherish those memories. They're never really gone, they live within you.

 

[FIYes]

One thing that helped me when administering my mother’s estate was to think of it as a last gift to my mother. It meant a great deal to me to realize that I was honoring her wishes.

 

[audreyh1]

One thing that helped me when administering my mother’s estate was to think of it as a last gift to my mother. It meant a great deal to me to realize that I was honoring her wishes.

Absolutely. When I did all the work on DF’s estate, my siblings who were heirs expressed their gratitude many times. But it was really my dad who I was doing it for. I really thought of it that way.

 

[Zona]

This post hits close to home for me. I lost my mom in November, too (Nov 30 - I have been off the forum until just today...). It was sudden and not sudden, she was only 72 but both of my grandparents on her side also passed around that age. Mom had COPD and severe heart failure (I knew about the COPD but was not aware of the heart problems). I was with her in her last week; she was in the ICU and they unfortunately could do nothing for her to repair the heart damage. I am heartbroken but grateful for the time with her and grateful that she passed peacefully in the way that she decided. As the end was nearing she changed her "full code" order to "no CPR/no intubation" the day before she passed, and after that was finished she said she was "ready to go to heaven and rest".

She had a very small estate without a will. It will be tricky to do a few things to wrap it up (because there is no will, there is no "executor" paperwork so somehow I need to get the legal authority to close out her small bank account and forward her mail to me to pay final bills). My siblings were there with me to go through her small apartment and revisit the letters, photos, and cards she saved from us over the years (she saved every single letter...amazing). It was a comforting way for us to get closure. If there is any kind of inheritance it will be very small, less than $1000 split three ways. I am the oldest sibling and the only one without kids or a job so I don't mind taking on the responsibility -- it's an honor to help in this way.

Jerry I'm so sorry for your and your DW's loss. And also sorry Pb4uski for the loss of your mom. Hopefully you have many years of good memories to treasure.

 

[Retire2023]

Echoing condolences to all suffering loss.

Novembers have not been a good month for us. We lost my dad in November 2017. One day shy of two years later in November 2019, my mom joined him. The following November 2020 their beloved dog died. We buried her ashes with mom & dad. Needless to say, I just want to hibernate all through November, but they wouldn't want that so we still host the family Thanksgiving gatherings each year. It does get easier, but is never easy.

Blessings to all!

 

[audreyh1]

She had a very small estate without a will. It will be tricky to do a few things to wrap it up (because there is no will, there is no "executor" paperwork so somehow I need to get the legal authority to close out her small bank account and forward her mail to me to pay final bills). My siblings were there with me to go through her small apartment and revisit the letters, photos, and cards she saved from us over the years (she saved every single letter...amazing). It was a comforting way for us to get closure. If there is any kind of inheritance it will be very small, less than $1000 split three ways. I am the oldest sibling and the only one without kids or a job so I don't mind taking on the responsibility -- it's an honor to help in this way.

So sorry for your loss. As her daughter you should have no problem getting the authority to act as executor including any final tax return - there is a different name for that. It’s quite common for tiny estates. Maybe ask the local probate court staff since your mom probably didn’t have an attorney?

 

[Koolau]

This post hits close to home for me. I lost my mom in November, too (Nov 30 - I have been off the forum until just today...). It was sudden and not sudden, she was only 72 but both of my grandparents on her side also passed around that age. Mom had COPD and severe heart failure (I knew about the COPD but was not aware of the heart problems). I was with her in her last week; she was in the ICU and they unfortunately could do nothing for her to repair the heart damage. I am heartbroken but grateful for the time with her and grateful that she passed peacefully in the way that she decided. As the end was nearing she changed her "full code" order to "no CPR/no intubation" the day before she passed, and after that was finished she said she was "ready to go to heaven and rest".

She had a very small estate without a will. It will be tricky to do a few things to wrap it up (because there is no will, there is no "executor" paperwork so somehow I need to get the legal authority to close out her small bank account and forward her mail to me to pay final bills). My siblings were there with me to go through her small apartment and revisit the letters, photos, and cards she saved from us over the years (she saved every single letter...amazing). It was a comforting way for us to get closure. If there is any kind of inheritance it will be very small, less than $1000 split three ways. I am the oldest sibling and the only one without kids or a job so I don't mind taking on the responsibility -- it's an honor to help in this way.

Jerry I'm so sorry for your and your DW's loss. And also sorry Pb4uski for the loss of your mom. Hopefully you have many years of good memories to treasure.

So sorry for your loss.



Likely, there is no probate with such a small inheritance. Here's hoping for a smooth transition for your family.