Sensing resentment from working people, how to respond?

[ponyboy]

Not to derail this thread, but how much are those who have to pay for healthcare paying when they retire? Approx amount is fine. $10k/year...$20k/year, etc etc. I know it varies from state to state. Im not interested in healthcare through employer who offered a package or those who pay for healthcare till 65. Im talking about those who retire early and have to fully fund healthcare until 65.

 

[LarryMelman]

I am budgeting $10K/year for premiums for single coverage after Cobra ends. Deductible and out of pocket will add to that.

 

[CaliKid]

A couple years to go still and I struggle a bit with the resentment concern but more so with some family members who apply a lot of pressure and are too in our business (or want to be). I thus plan to say that I am working less, working from home, etc... or maybe say I am switching careers since I dislike my career. I don't know but I do struggle with this a bit. I hope to come up with a good answer in the next couple of years.

 

[Winemaker]

Not to derail this thread, but how much are those who have to pay for healthcare paying when they retire? Approx amount is fine. $10k/year...$20k/year, etc etc. I know it varies from state to state. Im not interested in healthcare through employer who offered a package or those who pay for healthcare till 65. Im talking about those who retire early and have to fully fund healthcare until 65.

My premium was reduced from $1860/month to $1765/month for healthcare, dental and eye care. My eye doctor isn't covered by my insurance and I can only get glasses every other year.

 

[brett]

Why would you care if someone else is resentful of your retirement?

 

[Montecfo]

Why would you care if someone else is resentful of your retirement?

pretty obvious answer I think.

 

[rk911]

Not to derail this thread, but how much are those who have to pay for healthcare paying when they retire? Approx amount is fine. $10k/year...$20k/year, etc etc. I know it varies from state to state. Im not interested in healthcare through employer who offered a package or those who pay for healthcare till 65. Im talking about those who retire early and have to fully fund healthcare until 65.

between part b, part d, the medicare supplement and some out of pocket expenses it's ~$11,000 p/y. we each pay a medicare penalty because our income is too high.

 

[rk911]

Why would you care if someone else is resentful of your retirement?

totally agree with this. resentment is their problem, not yours (ours). i didn't brag...never a good look. but i didn't hide it from anyone either...had my last day to work up on my office wall.

 

[Scuba]

I realize a few others have weighed in on this, but as a retired oncologist myself I can't let this go without further "piling on/ripping/strongly objecting." Nobody could object or take issue with someone using her or his talents in service to others IF she or he CHOOSES to do so out of whatever motivation they have. BUT it cannot be called giving "back."

(Ok Rant begins now)

Give back? GIVE BACK? What in the f&$% is being given back?
Time? Money?

Because doctors who devote 4 years undergrad, 4 years of medical school, (all often extremely expensive) then 3 or more years of residency (at slave wages) and then more years as fellows (also at markedly lower wages) before finally beginning their careers in their 30’s in a position which may start at low wages and long hours as they prove their worth to their new practice, and most of whom don't stay in their first position so they have to start over again in a couple of years have not given enough in time or money yet?

Give BACK?

Doctors are well compensated. Eventually.
Because they have earned it.
And continue to earn it with:
continued education, long hours, (not including being available at many more hours), high degrees of stress, large liability risks, all while providing vital services.

Give BACK?

They gave up their youth, their first 10+ years of earning, often while accumulating large debt, (ever heard of the power of time and compounding? They missed out on some of that too) and now you expect or hope they give BACK?

This attitude that whatever doctors have - money, talent, knowledge - that they "owe" something is prevalent.
It is seen in the attitude that doctors should not only not retire early, no, no. They should NEVER RETIRE! And if somehow they do retire, they should find it in their hearts to "give back."

If that is the deal, then have it clearly stated before people give up their lives to medicine. Good luck getting enough doctors when you add on that stipulation.

Surveys demonstrate many (and in some surveys most) doctors are unhappy, would not encourage their children to enter medical fields, and would retire if only they could. There are many reasons for this unhappiness to be sure, but a lot of them are related to doctors being told what they SHOULD do by other people who don't know what they are talking about.

File "giving back" under that same heading.

And to add insult to injury, the reimbursement rates post-ACA have generally decreased, so doctors and others involved in providing healthcare make less money. I’m surprised my GP doc is still working, and also surprised that any docs will treat Medicaid patients.

 

[marko]

Give BACK?

They gave up their youth, their first 10+ years of earning, often while accumulating large debt, (ever heard of the power of time and compounding? They missed out on some of that too) and now you expect or hope they give BACK?

This attitude that whatever doctors have - money, talent, knowledge - that they "owe" something is prevalent.
It is seen in the attitude that doctors should not only not retire early, no, no. They should NEVER RETIRE! And if somehow they do retire, they should find it in their hearts to "give back."

+1
My MD friend has often commented: "People think that because you're a doctor you're wealthy. 'You're a doctor, why are you driving a Toyota??'. Maybe because I'm $300K in debt? Maybe because liability insurance is a killer?

"If I wanted to make big bucks I'd be doing boob jobs in L.A. not taking the BP of 80 year olds but that's not why I became a doctor"

 

[OldConch]

Not to derail this thread, but how much are those who have to pay for healthcare paying when they retire? Approx amount is fine. $10k/year...$20k/year, etc etc. I know it varies from state to state. Im not interested in healthcare through employer who offered a package or those who pay for healthcare till 65. Im talking about those who retire early and have to fully fund healthcare until 65.

Retired at 56 and DW 62 and budgeted $1500/month for healthcare. She went on Medicare - Plan F hd - this year so that number worked for us. We did take advantage of subsidies every other year and banked the savings. Not heavy healthcare users so far so that helped.

 

[ExFlyBoy5]

Had my first experience with ER "resentment" yesterday. It was a get-together in someone's home and there were about 15-16 people, mostly couples around our age or a bit younger.

i have not "publicized" my retirement (why would I?) but family and close friends are aware. A friend at this event asked me jokingly "Are you still retired?" Before I could answer another heard and asked "ARE you retired?" These are good guys and do not seem envious. But a 3rd overheard (Do not know well but seemed like a good and relaxed guy) and asked rhetorically "How is he retired?" I kind of ignored it as the other two were talking to me about various adventures.

A few minutes later I was rejoining the larger group, and realized there was still conversation going on about this that I has missed, and that same dude continued to ask "How is he retired?"

DW told me later she was answering him "well, he is a financial person and he made a plan". We are not super-young. I retired in May at 59. DW does not look her age but i assume folks know our approximate ages.

Was disappointing as while we do not know this couple well, we have enjoyed getting to know them in this social group. He seemed rather agitated.

I do not really feel we owe any big explanations. But i hope this does not happen a lot.

I had a similar experience about a year after I retired. Was at a promotion party for a former co-w*rker and it came out pretty quick that I was retired and that I wasn't seeking a bridge career (retired military). The questions came quick and some were quite pointed. I knew some of the attendees, but some I had NEVER met before...and they seemed to be the ones that were the most "bothered" by it (not sure how to explain it). From then on out, I just told folks that I either w*rked from home or was in finance. About a year after I retired, I started law school so most folks that I told figured I would just grow up and become a lawyer...little did they know that wasn't really my intention. Today, I am still retired, but do some volunteer lawyer stuff with vets and occasionally with the local legal aid organization...so I have a great cover if anyone asks what I do.

As far as the "thank you for your service", while I was still serving, I would get it very often when I lived in Atlanta. I lived in an area that didn't have too many military folks (I was attached at a DoD manufacturing plant doing flight test stuff) so the local civilians weren't used to seeing mil folks (especially in a flight suit). At first, it was awkward because the AF treated me very well...but eventually, I would just say, "Thank you, it was my pleasure." Today, I don't really wear any "retiree garb/gear" so folks don't know...and that's OK as I prefer it that way.

 

[Teacher Terry]

I will save my sympathy for someone that needs it and it certainly won’t be for a doctor that doesn’t think he makes enough money. That was my laugh for the day.

 

[11522914]

totally agree with this. resentment is their problem, not yours (ours). i didn't brag...never a good look. but i didn't hide it from anyone either...had my last day to work up on my office wall.

+100. You're retired? Yes. You're too young! Never too young to retire. What do you do all day? Whatever I want to. How did you do it? Retirement income exceeds expenses. Oops, that's usually the end of the conversation.

 

[O2Bfree]

+100. You're retired? Yes. You're too young! Never too young to retire. What do you do all day? Whatever I want to. How did you do it? Retirement income exceeds expenses. Oops, that's usually the end of the conversation.

Indeed! Doubters seem to focus on "how much do you have?" rather than "how much do you spend?". Many people give a puzzled look when they ask for RE advice, and the response is, "Ok, so to get started figure out how much you're spending..."

 

[ExFlyBoy5]

I will save my sympathy for someone that needs it and it certainly won’t be for a doctor that doesn’t think he makes enough money. That was my laugh for the day.

I for one think that MD's don't make nearly enough for all the hassle they go though...not only getting qualified (and STAYING that way) but for just doing what they do...day in and day out. Your post was my laugh of the day.

 

[kgtest]

Thankfully, most of the time when people have told me what I should do, it was anatomically impossible.

Lol!

 

[ls99]

Depending on my mood, to queries about what I do, one response is: I am a leach on society, I collect social security.
At least to unthinking folks it can generate a good bit of resentment. Their resentment is not my problem.

 

[Montecfo]

Depending on my mood, to queries about what I do, one response is: I am a leach on society, I collect social security.
At least to unthinking folks it can generate a good bit of resentment. Their resentment is not my problem.

those are snappy for sure. Been invited to many parties recently?

 

[Arizona1]

Exactly! You learned to do a job and did it until you were finished.

 

[Arizona1]

A few months after I retired from the USAF in 2000 I pulled into a military Rv Park and was hooking up my utilities when I noticed there was and old man in the next slot watching me. He had on a WW2 hat. I said hello then he asks me if my parents were in the military. I looked at him confused and said no, are yours? He didn’t even answer.
Usually if someone asks what I do I’ll tell them I’m retired and the next question is always what do you do all day. I always say I’ve been f——g off for 19 years and am not done yet. I find it easier just to avoid the military talk altogether and talk about at one time having a hundred twenty something rentals. I am cordial about being thanked for my service but the real thanks goes to those who suffered physically or mentally.
I love getting people amped up about being successful and retiring early themselves.

 

[ls99]

those are snappy for sure. Been invited to many parties recently?

Yep.

 

[Pete10k]

I’m going to start using the ‘portfolio mgr’ reply because it’s true (my portfolio) and after 9 months people are now starting to figure out that I’m not working and have no plan to other than volunteer positions. Interesting enough I have no problem telling strangers who ask but I hate having to explain myself to friends or justify my decision to RE. I’ve started telling friends that my plan all along was to retire at 55, which is the truth except it was actually 54, and it also makes them shut up for a minute as they wonder why they didn’t do the same.

 

[FREE866]

I’m going to start using the ‘portfolio mgr’ reply because it’s true (my portfolio) and after 9 months people are now starting to figure out that I’m not working and have no plan to other than volunteer positions. Interesting enough I have no problem telling strangers who ask but I hate having to explain myself to friends or justify my decision to RE. I’ve started telling friends that my plan all along was to retire at 55, which is the truth except it was actually 54, and it also makes them shut up for a minute as they wonder why they didn’t do the same.

hahaha
glad this thread popped up again. I've had a couple of experiences recently with people I hadn't seen in years. I don't know if "resentment" is the right word, but people clearly weren't like "oh wow--thats great" and simply don't like hearing it, for whatever reason. Funny thing is if I said "Oh I just got a promotion and I'm working 60 hours a week " they'd be much more inclined to say " oh wow--thats great" It's very odd. Humans are so damn weird.

 

[rk911]

I’m going to start using the ‘portfolio mgr’ reply because it’s true (my portfolio) and after 9 months people are now starting to figure out that I’m not working and have no plan to other than volunteer positions. Interesting enough I have no problem telling strangers who ask but I hate having to explain myself to friends or justify my decision to RE. I’ve started telling friends that my plan all along was to retire at 55, which is the truth except it was actually 54, and it also makes them shut up for a minute as they wonder why they didn’t do the same.

why do you feel the need to justify or explain yourself. virtually all of us who RE worked our tails off, saved, invested but most of all PLANNED. we set a goal and worked toward it. if a friend has a problem with your early retirement then it’s their problem.