Should I Feel Guilty?

[LoneAspen]

When I retire, quit my job, and never work for somebody else again, the only thing I'm going to feel guilty about is that I didn't so it sooner.

I can guarantee there's not anything anybody could ever say to me that would make me guilty about never working again.

My Mom (God bless her) was the type that would care what other people thought. "What would the neighbors think?" is something she'd say sometimes when one of us kids would do something questionable. Thankfully, I never inherited that gene.

I don't care what the neighbors, or anybody else, thinks about what I do, or don't do, in life. Other peoples' approval, disapproval, or guilt trips mean nothing to me.

 

[haha]

It seems to me from reading a lot of posts on here over the years that very few of us really sit around and do nothing. Ambitious fitness or sport performance or travel goals, cooking, maintenance of large homes and yards, volunteering, study.

If this is true, and I believe it to be, it makes sense. We each put together a lot of money some way, by some combination of training for, getting, and keeping a very good job, or saving a bundle or excellent investment results.

This is not an everyday result for an easy rider. It reflects strong drive, conscientiousness, and work ethic.

Ha

 

[Sarpy]

When I was working, just before our evaluations were done we had to write an e-mail summarizing everything we had accomplished since the prior evaluation.

On the other hand, one nice thing about retirement is that we don't have to report our accomplishments to a supervisor. We are each our own supervisor, and can do whatever we decide to do. Often this is the first time in our lives during which we can do this. This experience can be one of the greatest joys of retirement.

So, don't make these other retirees your supervisor.

If I choose to do nothing, that is my choice. Feel guilty? No way! We have earned our retirements and should enjoy whatever we decide to do, or not do, in retirement.

Newbie here and retired 6 months. It seems the first question I get from everyone is asking what I've been doing. I know they mean well, but it's becoming somewhat annoying--probably because I have been pretty laid back so far in the so-called decompression mode and don't have a lot of excitement to report, I guess.

I think I'll leverage your comments which I've bolded above and craft a response such as, "Enjoying not having to report accomplishments to a manager." LOL.

 

[Elbata]

I was thinking about this earlier today. Though I'm not nearly as busy as I used to be when working, (actually I'm quite idle), for some reason I feel I get more accomplished.

Like reading a great book, walking the dogs. What's meaningful to me, is what I now do. And that can be nice long naps.

 

[vicente solano]

But, what about not being inclined -unless forced to- to do social, community work? Not giving back some of what society has given you? Dodging the whole issue by just giving some money on partcular -very few- occasions?

I am one of those selfish, antisocial guys. And I feel sorry for myself.

 

[Meadbh]

But, what about not being inclined -unless forced to- to do social, community work? Not giving back some of what society has given you? Dodging the whole issue by just giving some money on partcular -very few- occasions?

I am one of those selfish, antisocial guys. And I feel sorry for myself.

Buenos Dias Vicente! We have not heard from you for over two years. How are you doing?

 

[obgyn65]

What do you feel guilty about exactly ? Doing nothing ? Social issues ? Family concerns ? Mental health matters ? Financial concerns ? I am not sure I understand what you are saying.

I am recently (2weeks) retired. I was talking with a group of retirees yesterday after golf. Common amongst the group was the experience that if they "Do nothing" for a while they feel guilty and have to accomplish something.

 

[vicente solano]

What do you feel guilty about exactly ? Doing nothing ? Social issues ? Family concerns ? Mental health matters ? Financial concerns ? I am not sure I understand what you are saying.

Are you asking me. Or are you addressing the Forum.

 

[obgyn65]

I was answering the OP's comment. His/her post was quoted in my post. Not sure where the confusion comes from...

Are you asking me. Or are you addressing the Forum.

 

[steelyman]

Are you asking me. Or are you addressing the Forum.

Just doing what he does.

 

[vicente solano]

Well, if I am the one that's being asked, an honest answer would be....social issues. Compounded with knowing that I am not really useful for anybody in anything that matters....

 

[obgyn65]

Not sure how to interpret this. When I answer someone, as I did here, I always quote the poster's text I respond to. When I address the forum, I don't quote anyone, or I create a new thread. Anything wrong with this approach ?

Just doing what he does.

 

[jollystomper]

When I ER there is no way I will feel guilty for all the work I put in to get a good education, working at Megacorp for all those years continually improving my skills that supported their revenue and which they felt were valuable enough to promote me and give me raises, supporting my wife and children to provide love, food, shelter and allow them to make many choices, and saving and investing enough to become financially independent with no need to be supported by others.

Bored? Maybe, but I have enough non-work projects, hobbies, and friends that I can't see it. Guilty? Never.

 

[steelyman]

Well, if I am the one that's being asked, an honest answer would be....social issues. Compounded with knowing that I am not really useful for anybody in anything that matters....

I've never set foot in Spain but would like to. Advice about what to do would be very useful to me.

 

[scrabbler1]

Because I was working only 2 days a week in the 17 months prior to my ER, it was not a big chance to my everyday life when I ERed. But ERing made it possible for me to spread out my daily activities more. Before, I had to put all of my errands and volunteer work and weekday evening hobbies into 3 days which was sometimes a juggling act. But once I ERed I no longer had to do that. I do try to bunch my errands together simply because it is more efficient (and with gas prices so high, less costly).

Now that I am ERed, I have some "free" weekdays which have no errands, volunteer work, or evening hobbies. Those are my "do nothing" weekdays. Of course, my weekends are usually "do nothing" days because my outside hobbies and volunteer work is all weekdays and I never do errands on weekends because it is too crowded with the rest of the working world (and my former world).

And I feel guilty about nothing.

 

[redduck]

Not sure how to interpret this. When I answer someone, as I did here, I always quote the poster's text I respond to. When I address the forum, I don't quote anyone, or I create a new thread. Anything wrong with this approach ?

Obgyn65, I think you got it right. And, it's a good way of doing it.

 

[vicente solano]

I've never set foot in Spain but would like to. Advice about what to do would be very useful to me.

Advice about what to do? Hey, save watching out for pickpockets in a few places in Barcelona, ha ha, ...... Just come!

 

[MichaelB]

I've never set foot in Spain but would like to. Advice about what to do would be very useful to me.

One I'm still looking forward and on my "gotta do" list is Flamenco performance in south Spain.

 

[vicente solano]

Pleeaaassseeee, Michael !!!

 

[eytonxav]

One I'm still looking forward and on my "gotta do" list is Flamenco performance in south Spain.

Dancing and not a bull fight

 

[someguy]

Andalucia is well-suited to ER/ESR lifestyles. And with Spain's 25% employment, it's cheap(er) too!

One I'm still looking forward and on my "gotta do" list is Flamenco performance in south Spain.

 

[LoneAspen]

Andalucia is well-suited to ER/ESR lifestyles. And with Spain's 25% employment, it's cheap(er) too!

I don't think I'd feel comfortable living somewhere with THAT high an unemployment rate. Too much chance for unrest, upheaval, strikes, etc.

 

[In-control]

People say this like it's a goal. Then after 1 hr sitting in a chair their re-arranging the rooms furniture. I think that we, humans, have a fundamental need to be productive. Even if it means going for a long walk. To me a job does not necessarily mean that your being productive and can be a major source of frustration.

It is not really what others value but what you do. To feel that I have a productive day if I eat right, get some exercise and help a person or two. Either at work or outside of work. Everything after that is just a bonus.

 

[vicente solano]

I don't think I'd feel comfortable living somewhere with THAT high an unemployment rate. Too much chance for unrest, upheaval, strikes, etc.

Excuse me, but I am not aware of any of those EXTREME situations diminishing the numbers of EDUCATED expats settling here continuously....... As a special courtesy I'll let you know when we'll start killing each other....

 

[haha]

Excuse me, but I am not aware of any of those EXTREME situations diminishing the numbers of EDUCATED expats settling here continuously....... As a special courtesy I'll let you know when we'll start killing each other....

Beware Vicente, it usually starts with wives or girlfriends doing nasty things to their innocently sleeping partners.

Ha