So much for nostalgia increasing with age

[Focus]

It's said that people tend to focus more on the past -- with nostalgia -- as they age and realize that there's less ahead than behind.

To my surprise, it's been the opposite for me. I've always had a strong streak of nostalgia; even as a kid, I yearned for aspects of earlier periods. This peaked around the age of 50 or so, but after I turned 60, it almost all went away. I'm now fully focused on the present and future, and rarely think about the past with longing.

What's your experience been?

 

[audreyh1]

Interesting!

I haven’t noticed any difference. I don’t generally think of the past with longing, but I do have lots of great memories.

Honestly I think the only thing that generates nostalgia is hearing music from long ago and that’s more of a mood thing created by music, like California Dreamin’ and that’s really someone else’s experience.

 

[marko]

I grew up in a very historic town in a 170 year old house that had been in the family all of that time. My grandparents were true Victorians. There was always something from 189x lying around their house. Even had an old neighbor with a 1915-ish electric car that was his lonly source of transportation! I loved and was fascinated by that age and as a younger person, felt "the old ways are best".

But one day I asked my grandmother to tell us about the "good old days". She said " these are the good old days. When my house is cold, I push a button, when it's dark, I push a button. If I have to get up at 2am, I don't have to light a candle, if I need help I pick up the phone...."

Fast forward, I ended up in a 35 year career in leading edge high tech. Over time, I transitioned to spending most of my time with my head in the future. Still do. Either growth or growing up? I still appreciate the past, and love history of all ages, but I just can't wait to see what tomorrow brings!

 

[Aerides]

Most grocery stores now play acoustic watered-down versions of what was once very cool alternative music of my 80's teens. The Cure, Cocteau Twins, Furs, OMD, etc.

I often smile when I recognize one, and imagine 16 year old me who used to know and love all those songs, and what she'd think about how things have turned out. I'm pretty sure she'd be pretty happy for me.

There are a few points in time I'd travel back to, given the chance, if only to save others...or maybe save myself one or two traps.

But I don't think either of these count as nostalgia, just the fluidity of how time really works in our minds.

 

[athena53]

Honestly I think the only thing that generates nostalgia is hearing music from long ago and that’s more of a mood thing created by music, like California Dreamin’ and that’s really someone else’s experience.

Yes! I had my car serviced last week and they left the radio turned on to a classic rock station. (I usually listen to podcasts.) Wow- powerful feelings of nostalgia for the 1970s when I was in college. In some ways, it was a great time- parents paid for my education so I wasn't struggling, it was a golden age post-pill and pre-AIDS with a lot of openness and experimentation, and I really got my head into the Math, Physics and Economics classes I was taking and loved choosing electives that interested me.

I had to remind myself that I was living on a shoestring in an ancient off-campus house, had no car, was dependent on my parents, broke up with the one guy I might have married because he wanted a wife who'd stay home with the kids, etc. No, it wasn't quite as golden as I first remembered.

But I still turned up Led Zeppelin's "Rock and Roll" on the way home from church yesterday.

 

[COcheesehead]

I find myself much more future oriented. I’ve always been that way though. Drives my wife nuts. Thinking about next week, next year….

 

[Fermion]

I liked the good ole days when you could play around with a loop of wire in your home office and get a fundamental unit of measurement named after you. Today it requires being on a team in a mega funded lab.

 

[Amethyst]

I couldn't care less what TV shows, pop music, and trends were around during a given period. I miss who I was back then, and the relationships I had.

It's said that people tend to focus more on the past -- with nostalgia -- as they age and realize that there's less ahead than behind.

To my surprise, it's been the opposite for me. I've always had a strong streak of nostalgia; even as a kid, I yearned for aspects of earlier periods. This peaked around the age of 50 or so, but after I turned 60, it almost all went away. I'm now fully focused on the present and future, and rarely think about the past with longing.

What's your experience been?

 

[Car-Guy]

Mixed... There's a lot of (not all) things that I like about the past. e.g. music, TV shows, patriotism, general work ethic, to name a few. But, I like many (not all) of the new technologies, advancement in auto performance/reliability, to name a few.

 

[tenant13]

I never liked doing anything more than once so it's always been about "what's next" for me. Always new music, new movies, TV, new travel destinations, new friends (I do ditch those that are toxic or perpetual downers), new... ehem... partners (single my entire life due to that - perhaps not optimal but that's just how it is). I love technology and science and keep up with both - I wish I could be around for genetically designed humans born out of stem cells outside of the traditional reproductive system....

I think my life now is better than it's ever been before but that's been my way of thinking about life forever - I loved being young and doing silly things young people do, building a career, growing into a responsible - I hope adult - and I really enjoy being 60, secure and having all that "wisdom" and experience. Not mentioning 100% of my time. So maybe there's just no space left for nostalgia?

 

[MarieIG]

. . . I still appreciate the past, and love history of all ages, but I just can't wait to see what tomorrow brings!

This . . .

 

[pacergal]

When I get nostalgic, sometimes I get a bit sad. Our early work life was sometimes chaotic as we worked opposite shifts, then add raising kids and life became a blur. So I start down the what if? road.
Then I snap myself out and realize we did what we needed to do, and look where we are now!
I think about the future some, but really try to keep myself in the here and now, enjoy life every day as it comes and be so very present in my kids and grandkids lives.

 

[jollystomper]

I have good memories of the past, but I do not consider myself very nostalgic. I like hearing about, learning, and evaluating new things. Perhaps the main area of my nostalgia is music. That is due to being a radio and party DJ in college and a few years after college. I played a lot of different music records so many times that I find them easy to enjoy, and I spent much more time in the music stores back them. Plus in some of the genres I listen to, the modern versions seem to "steal" a lot from the past, so even the new stuff reminds me of the old .

 

[KrisQuit]

I don't think I am nostalgic; rather, thinking about the past is more about certainty and familiarity (places, people, situations). It is when I return to these places and meet old friends and acquaintances that I realize that so much has changed and I truly cannot "go back." It is a sad, but true, reality for me. So, I keep my mind in the present and look to the future, and appreciate what I have in front of me.

 

[aja8888]

I don't think I am nostalgic; rather, thinking about the past is more about certainty and familiarity (places, people, situations). It is when I return to these places and meet old friends and acquaintances that I realize that so much has changed and I truly cannot "go back." It is a sad, but true, reality for me. So, I keep my mind in the present and look to the future, and appreciate what I have in front of me.

My bold above. The exact same feeling came to me in my visit to Connecticut during May of this year. That was where I grew up, fell in love, and went to college. It's a different place now than what I remember.

 

[Sojourner]

I couldn't care less what TV shows, pop music, and trends were around during a given period. I miss who I was back then, and the relationships I had.

+1

I do miss the "good old days" of living in my childhood home, when my DM and DF were young, vibrant, and full of life. That home, my neighborhood, my childhood friends, my school, my extended family... that was all so magical and idyllic when I think back on it now. I miss it all very much, especially now that my DM is gone and my DF is elderly, frail, and slowly slipping away to the ravages of dementia. When I visit DF at his home now, I feel mostly a great sadness of "what once was" and all that has been lost over the years. And I can't help but wonder if perhaps this is where my life could be headed, too, over the next 30 years or so.

Reminds me of that (very true) adage, "Old age is a place where everyone wants to get, but nobody wants to be."

 

[jollystomper]

A recent interesting nostalgia situation we experienced: we went to Paris in May. I had never been there before. DW lived there for a year while in college 45 years ago. We had different takes on more than a few things, as I kept seeing them as brand new, and DW kept trying to compare and evaluate them against what she remembered. For example, DW could not get used to the increased amount of English being spoken (or offered to be spoken), while I had no reference point for that.

 

[W2R]

[...]I've always had a strong streak of nostalgia; even as a kid, I yearned for aspects of earlier periods. This peaked around the age of 50 or so, but after I turned 60, it almost all went away. I'm now fully focused on the present and future, and rarely think about the past with longing.

What's your experience been?

I love the fact that I have lived during both my earlier life (which was not so good and full of great life lessons to guide me later on) and my more recent years (which have been full of delayed gratification, which is super IMO). I don't think about the past with either longing or dread; I think of it as my foundation, as my original guide towards the amazing life that I have been living.

Sometimes I look at old photos to refresh my memories, and think, "wow, that was fun" or "wow, look at how tough I was to live through that without losing my mind".

The only part of the past that I can say I truly miss dreadfully, is the company of those who I greatly cared about and who left this earth. Like my dear sweet cousin Terri, who was like a sister to me and passed away five years ago. But she still exists in my memories and I still laugh at the jokes I think she would have made in response to certain situations (she had a great sense of humor). I feel certain that as long as my memories of Terri are alive, in a sense she will always be with me. After all, at this point she is part of me.

 

[EarlyandLate]

I played a lot of different music records so many times that I find them easy to enjoy, and I spent much more time in the music stores back them.

Sigh, no more music stores.

 

[athena53]

The only part of the past that I can say I truly miss dreadfully, is the company of those who I greatly cared about and who left this earth.

Oh, yeah. My ex-husband came from a wonderful extended Italian family and their holiday celebrations were lavish- there were so many courses we took time to relax and talk in between so we could digest them. The settings were the same caliber as the food, especially the two places my Ex's sister and her husband had: one on the NJ shore with a private beach on the ocean and a prewar floor-through on E. 64th in Manhattan. We used their Flora Danica china one Thanksgiving- every piece hand-painted. When we drove back home to NJ through Central Park I felt I'd hit the big time.

Most of the memorable cast of characters have left us, starting with my Ex's grandmother, who lived to 102. My holidays are more subdued now although I do celebrate Christmas and Thanksgiving with DS, DDIL and the kids. I remind myself we can't bring those gatherings back because time marches on.

 

[Letj]

When I get nostalgic, sometimes I get a bit sad. Our early work life was sometimes chaotic as we worked opposite shifts, then add raising kids and life became a blur. So I start down the what if? road.
Then I snap myself out and realize we did what we needed to do, and look where we are now!
I think about the future some, but really try to keep myself in the here and now, enjoy life every day as it comes and be so very present in my kids and grandkids lives.

This may actually not be unusual. I too feel sad about unmet expectations and coulda woulda shoulda when I get nostalgic so I try not to dwell on that feeling. Life for me when I first got married and with young children was quite hectic - career, trying to build a business and focusing on financial freedom, made everything just a blur. I sometimes think we could have had more family vacations, more quality weekend and evening times but I snap out of it knowing we did the best we could at the time. Life isn’t perfect and hindsight is 20/20 vision.

 

[audreyh1]

Sigh, no more music stores.

I’m so happy with Apple Music these days, I don’t miss my giant physical collection at all.

 

[Koolau]

I have mentioned often that I split my time between the Islands and the old Homestead where I grew up (literally, the same old house.) I become very nostalgic when I see the old Homestead with all it's cobbled carpentry, dirt cellar, and my toys in the attic. Of course, now, the Homestead has AC, dishwasher, no clanking radiators, and windows that open and close. SO, best of both worlds.

Wasn't it Yogi Berra who has been credited with the saying: "Nostalgia ain't what it used to be"?

 

[harley]

I remember very fondly waking up withoutany aches or pain, unless I had a hangover. And they went away pretty quickly back then.

 

[Winemaker]

Last year when I bought my truck, it came with a Sirius subscription. I simply love the Beatles channel and listening to the music from my "innocent" years. I was 12 when they broke up, but today, realizing that music they wrote was written before they were 28 years old.