So much for nostalgia increasing with age

[2HOTinPHX]

+1



I do miss the "good old days" of living in my childhood home, when my DM and DF were young, vibrant, and full of life. That home, my neighborhood, my childhood friends, my school, my extended family... that was all so magical and idyllic when I think back on it now. I miss it all very much, especially now that my DM is gone and my DF is elderly, frail, and slowly slipping away to the ravages of dementia. When I visit DF at his home now, I feel mostly a great sadness of "what once was" and all that has been lost over the years. And I can't help but wonder if perhaps this is where my life could be headed, too, over the next 30 years or so.



Reminds me of that (very true) adage, "Old age is a place where everyone wants to get, but nobody wants to be."

Well said.....I also miss the good old days when dear Dad and mom were still with us. They lived in the same house and were married for 65 years. We weren't rich but have many rich memories of growing up in that house. We were the lucky ones with mom staying home and being there making sure we didn't get into too much mischief. We were very lucky to have a leave it Beaver childhood for sure. So many fond memories.
Biggest regret was moving away in 2005 and missing out on family gatherings and just being there.
Now with both parents passed, family home sold off and siblings barely communicating not looking forward to future nearly as much unfortunately.
Thankfully my wife and I have each other....30 years now and still love being together.

 

[jollystomper]

I have good memories of the past, but I do not consider myself very nostalgic.

I have thought about this some more (yeah, dangerous, I know ). I believe I am not too nostalgic now because I do not have any physical limitations preventing me from enjoying my activities of the past. I have no vision, back or joint issues. The physical sports I stopped playing/doing I did voluntarily, but could still participate in if I wanted, albeit I would be slower. I did participate in a lot of activities and not feel any lasting impact, no do I require medication for them. I can pick up new activites as I have done with swimming and (as soon I have time to take a class) pickleball. I have no issues driving day or night. And so on.

Once my physical abilities diminish where things like the above can no longer be done, I will start going (assuming I still also have my wits about me when they do ), I will likely start feeling more nostalgic. So for me it will be less a factor of age, and more a factor of the state of my physical and mental health.

 

[Koolau]

I have thought about this some more (yeah, dangerous, I know ). I believe I am not too nostalgic now because I do not have any physical limitations preventing me from enjoying my activities of the past. I have no vision, back or joint issues. The physical sports I stopped playing/doing I did voluntarily, but could still participate in if I wanted, albeit I would be slower. I did participate in a lot of activities and not feel any lasting impact, no do I require medication for them. I can pick up new activites as I have done with swimming and (as soon I have time to take a class) pickleball. I have no issues driving day or night. And so on.

Once my physical abilities diminish where things like the above can no longer be done, I will start going (assuming I still also have my wits about me when they do ), I will likely start feeling more nostalgic. So for me it will be less a factor of age, and more a factor of the state of my physical and mental health.

I hadn't even thought of that aspect. It's true that my body is falling apart before my very eyes. I wonder if that is a reason I wax nostalgic more these days. Maybe it's some sort of mind trick to compensate for what I can no longer do. "Remember when"...you could do such and such or go visit so and so. I wonder if that's it.

 

[Pellice]

I am trained as an historian.I love history, but am certainly not nostalgic, at all. Personally, this part of my life is the best so far, and I know all too well how hard my ancestors had to work. And I am particularly grateful for the much greater appreciation of the natural world that exists now. There are so many small and large protected areas to explore, not just national parks but things like the Delaware and Raritan Greenway here in New Jersey. People now value our birds and wildlife, instead of dismissing them without thought as "varmints" or "thieves." A wetland is preserved instead of being dismissed as "that stinkin' swamp," and drained. The air and water are cleaner than they were when I was a child. And more can be achieved.

 

[cat4ever]

It's said that people tend to focus more on the past -- with nostalgia -- as they age and realize that there's less ahead than behind.

To my surprise, it's been the opposite for me. I've always had a strong streak of nostalgia; even as a kid, I yearned for aspects of earlier periods. This peaked around the age of 50 or so, but after I turned 60, it almost all went away. I'm now fully focused on the present and future, and rarely think about the past with longing.

What's your experience been?

Your experience is exactly mine. Nothing bores me now than looking at old, or even new pictures, or discussing things we did. it's all onward and upward for me, never look back.

 

[meleana]

It's said that people tend to focus more on the past -- with nostalgia -- as they age and realize that there's less ahead than behind.

To my surprise, it's been the opposite for me. I've always had a strong streak of nostalgia; even as a kid, I yearned for aspects of earlier periods. This peaked around the age of 50 or so, but after I turned 60, it almost all went away. I'm now fully focused on the present and future, and rarely think about the past with longing.

What's your experience been?

I have always looked forward, not backwards. Not very sentimental.

 

[shafer9]

Bingo. I’m 78 and at the moment, on an Alaska cruise. I had a cancer at 61 that was supposed to kill me.

Every day, I wake up, shove my left elbow out, then the right one.

If I don’t hit wood, I’m golden.

 

[Montecfo]

Shafer9, hey good for you, that is excellent perspective.

I really enjoy music acts and songs that I loved as a young guy. Strong sense of nostalgia there. Main reason I think is it is just good music and there is really no replacing it in the current marketplace.

But while I have many many fond memories that I hold close, I do not yearn for past days.

Well, except in this sense: I miss the indestructible guy I was until some of my genetic and joint issues that I never slowed down for previously started to catch up a bit. But you just have to maintain perspective there.

 

[kilgore]

A certain amount of nostalgia elicits a sense of gratitude from me. Now playing my "back nine" (as Clint Eastwood once said), I can say I have kind of surprised myself (and my high school counselors!).


KG

 

[shafer9]

Oh brother, I hear you. The wear and tear is something I never anticipated. However, breathing is good.So is moving.

 

[punkinhead]

I once refused to give a vendor any future business until they changed the radio in their shop from the oldies channel. If I had to hear Boston's More Than a Feeling one more time I'd have gone postal. I also shake my head when someone reminisces about how reliable their old VW Bug was. No it wasn't. It was easy to work on, which was a good thing because you spent a lot of time doing it. I also don't miss casual racism and homophobia.

Give me ever changing music and reliable cars. I had a good childhood and fond memories but I recognize that things continuously get better.

 

[Koolau]

I once refused to give a vendor any future business until they changed the radio in their shop from the oldies channel. If I had to hear Boston's More Than a Feeling one more time I'd have gone postal. I also shake my head when someone reminisces about how reliable their old VW Bug was. No it wasn't. It was easy to work on, which was a good thing because you spent a lot of time doing it. I also don't miss casual racism and homophobia.

Give me ever changing music and reliable cars. I had a good childhood and fond memories but I recognize that things continuously get better.

Well, you're 3 for 4 in my book. I don't miss those other detestable things, but you can program my radio to play nothing but Boston and I wouldn't be too unhappy about it. YMMV

 

[RobLJ]

I joked to my Cali grad school friends in the early 80's that I grew up in the 17th-18th century (father was a conservative Protestant theologian, went to grade school in very rural Missouri; graduated to the 19th century in Western Oklahoma in jr high/high school).
I miss my grandparents, father (mom's still alive at 90) and a few friends, but that's about it.

To quote Don Williams & "Tulsa Time":

I left Oklahoma, drivin' in a Pontiac
Just about to lose my mind
I was goin' to Arizona
Maybe on to California
Where the people all live so fine.

The rest of the song pulls the rug out from under the protagonist, but that was pretty much my mindset driving from Texas to Cali for grad school, and has pretty much remained so. Having kids and now grandkids I think perpetuated the view that the past wasn't all that great (including the realities of racism and widespread poverty, although I don't think we have become a more egalitarian society, at least in terms of income distribution. The market helped me there, a lot.) Much cheaper education costs back then helped me a hell of a lot more and I try not to forget it. I got a Ruth & Chris's UC graduate education on the cost of today's Carl's Jr burger.

 

[Stormy Kromer]

Only thing I miss from my youth was live sports on TV.

I saw Ali fight in the "Thrilla in Mannilla" and the "Rumble in the Jungle"

I saw Hank Aaron hit 714.

I saw Reggie Jackson hit 3 homers on 3 pitches.

I saw Mark Spitz win 7 gold medals

I saw Larry Bird and Magic Johnson play college ball

I saw the Immaculate Reception

I saw The Great One bring Hockey back to life.

I remember the USA beating the Russian hockey team in 1980 Olympics

I saw a lot, but the best athletic performance I'll ever see was Secratariet winning the Triple Crown.

 

[Koolau]

Only thing I miss from my youth was live sports on TV.

I saw Ali fight in the "Thrilla in Mannilla" and the "Rumble in the Jungle"

I saw Hank Aaron hit 714.

I saw Reggie Jackson hit 3 homers on 3 pitches.

I saw Mark Spitz win 7 gold medals

I saw Larry Bird and Magic Johnson play college ball

I saw the Immaculate Reception

I saw The Great One bring Hockey back to life.

I remember the USA beating the Russian hockey team in 1980 Olympics

I saw a lot, but the best athletic performance I'll ever see was Secratariet winning the Triple Crown.

Now, THAT is some serious nostalgia! Great memories indeed.

 

[Rianne]

I miss the carefree days of childhood up to about age 15. I loved school, and having friends I adored, did not care what other people thought. I could dance, create, play, and laugh without concern for society's acceptable behavior. When puberty hit, I had to think about responsible things, which ended up being ok but not the same.

I am in the camp that play is an essential part of life, especially childhood. It is essential to learning and being comfortable with who you are. Of course, all the memories of music, deep conversations in college, and searching for the meaning of life, in my 20s are great memories. It seems children have so many barriers to deal with today. Freely playing until dark is a thing of the past. Exploring without boundaries, I just don't see it today.