Splitting an inherited property - fair methods?

[Time2]

I'm in the unhappy position where mom died 11 years ago left the house to my sister and I. She had moved in to take care of mom during the last 6 months of her life, (before that she was living in a van with her girlfriend).
After mom died, she was ready to sell the house, but knowing my sister was earning $20k a year, I ask her, "where are you going to be able to live any cheaper than mom's house?"
So, for eleven years, I have received no rent, she hasn't the income to buy me out, I don't want to force a sale, she's 66 and financially things are not going to get any better. I ask her son to buy me out, as he may get the house when she dies, he wasn't interested.
I think it's time I just write this off, and reduce my liability.
Oh and last week I received a letter from the insurance company, they are not going to renew the insurance unless she replaces the roof, and repairs the soffit, fascia and siding on the garage.

Eleven years ago, she wouldn't split mom's bank account, because she needed that to fix the house, I hope she still has that money, but I doubt it. She had her name on mom's bank account, so legally, it was her money.

 

[Koolau]

I'm in the unhappy position where mom died 11 years ago left the house to my sister and I. She had moved in to take care of mom during the last 6 months of her life, (before that she was living in a van with her girlfriend).
After mom died, she was ready to sell the house, but knowing my sister was earning $20k a year, I ask her, "where are you going to be able to live any cheaper than mom's house?"
So, for eleven years, I have received no rent, she hasn't the income to buy me out, I don't want to force a sale, she's 66 and financially things are not going to get any better. I ask her son to buy me out, as he may get the house when she dies, he wasn't interested.
I think it's time I just write this off, and reduce my liability.
Oh and last week I received a letter from the insurance company, they are not going to renew the insurance unless she replaces the roof, and repairs the soffit, fascia and siding on the garage.

Eleven years ago, she wouldn't split mom's bank account, because she needed that to fix the house, I hope she still has that money, but I doubt it. She had her name on mom's bank account, so legally, it was her money.

Yeah, you gotta decide what's important. "The money" or the relationship. Boy, it gets hard sometimes.

Mentioned that DW's brother borrowed from us for home improvements, sold that house and never paid us back. Do we delete him from our family? Of course not. We just move on and "pretend" it never happened. It's tough when you see how he lives. He trades cars a couple of times a year which I'm sure costs a fortune, but we just mind our own business.

 

[Time2]

Yeah, you gotta decide what's important. "The money" or the relationship. Boy, it gets hard sometimes.

Mentioned that DW's brother borrowed from us for home improvements, sold that house and never paid us back. Do we delete him from our family? Of course not. We just move on and "pretend" it never happened. It's tough when you see how he lives. He trades cars a couple of times a year which I'm sure costs a fortune, but we just mind our own business.

Ya, she's 1000 miles away, For years I called her every Sunday. She never called me. I made no calls for the last 3 or 4 months, wondering if she would call to see if I was still alive, nope, I called her after I got the letter from the insurance co. I'm sure she doesn't want to hear from me because she knows she is taking advantage of me, but she really has no way to fix it.

 

[MarieIG]

Ya, she's 1000 miles away, For years I called her every Sunday. She never called me. I made no calls for the last 3 or 4 months, wondering if she would call to see if I was still alive, nope, I called her after I got the letter from the insurance co. I'm sure she doesn't want to hear from me because she knows she is taking advantage of me, but she really has no way to fix it.

Perhaps she can move in with her DS, or into a rent controlled apartment, the rent for which is based upon income (i.e. SS), and the house can be sold?

 

[eytonxav]

I would think selling it and splitting the proceeds equally would be fairest solution.

 

[Time2]

I would think selling it and splitting the proceeds equally would be fairest solution.

Of course it would be.

But even if she is able to work until 70 yrs old, she will receive around $1500 a month in SS and has no savings unless it is several thousand dollars, which will get used to repair the house. Even collecting 50% on her ex husbands account only gets her $1 more.
I did tell her 2 or 3 years ago she needed to get signed up for senior housing, because there is often a wait list, she hasn't.
The house is taxed at a value of 93k the estimate websites say $130K, It will fall on the low side of that. I expect if it did sell, I'd get about $45k.
She will probably be better of getting SS, medicaid and food stamps than she is right now working.
I just can't put her out on the street even though she put herself in the position she is in. It less than 2% of my net worth, but I have never included it in my calculations.
I do have an ARRGH! in me though.

 

[eytonxav]

Of course it would be.

But even if she is able to work until 70 yrs old, she will receive around $1500 a month in SS and has no savings unless it is several thousand dollars, which will get used to repair the house. Even collecting 50% on her ex husbands account only gets her $1 more.
I did tell her 2 or 3 years ago she needed to get signed up for senior housing, because there is often a wait list, she hasn't.
The house is taxed at a value of 93k the estimate websites say $130K, It will fall on the low side of that. I expect if it did sell, I'd get about $45k.
She will probably be better of getting SS, medicaid and food stamps than she is right now working.
I just can't put her out on the street even though she put herself in the position she is in. It less than 2% of my net worth, but I have never included it in my calculations.
I do have an ARRGH! in me though.

I was responding to the OP.

 

[Time2]

I was responding to the OP.

It's always about me!

 

[Koolau]

Of course it would be.

It less than 2% of my net worth, but I have never included it in my calculations.
I do have an ARRGH! in me though.

Honestly, I think that's the way to look at it. Clearly she is taking advantage of you (because you've let her do that.) But what is 2%?

I'm sure it's her treatment of you that really hurts, not the money.

I lost my little sister when she was just at her prime. She had 4 kids and everything should have been wonderful. She had borrowed a lot from the family business. No way was I going to deprive her kids of their inheritance because their mom had borrowed against it. It's only money. I'd give a lot more than that to have her back.

Blessings and comfort on you as you w*rk through this issue. I hope it gets resolved with family ties in tact.

 

[sparky08]

Gosh, I was lucky. My father's will said to split everything 50-50 with my brother. My brother was the executor and made sure to keep me in the loop.

A piece of property was part of the estate. I didn't want it but my brother did. He got an estimate from a realtor and paid me for my half.

We wrote up a bill of sale and had an attorney draft a note that told the trust to transfer ownership soley to my brother.

 

[Stormy Kromer]

Gosh, I was lucky. My father's will said to split everything 50-50 with my brother. My brother was the executor and made sure to keep me in the loop.

A piece of property was part of the estate. I didn't want it but my brother did. He got an estimate from a realtor and paid me for my half.

We wrote up a bill of sale and had an attorney draft a note that told the trust to transfer ownership soley to my brother.

Perfect.

 

[Koolau]

Gosh, I was lucky. My father's will said to split everything 50-50 with my brother. My brother was the executor and made sure to keep me in the loop.

A piece of property was part of the estate. I didn't want it but my brother did. He got an estimate from a realtor and paid me for my half.

We wrote up a bill of sale and had an attorney draft a note that told the trust to transfer ownership soley to my brother.

I wonder if your excellent relationship with your brother is typical (where money is involved.) My sister and I got on fine when last parent passed, but there wasn't much to fight over. No money and only possessions.

 

[Act2]

Had an excellent relationship with my siblings, too, through the process. Mostly we had money or equivalent, never had a disagreement about personal property items as any of us were happy to let any other one of us have anything that was important to them. No real estate or vehicles. Still working through a few items of personal property no sibling wants. I have offered it all repeatedly to each of them. (Do I keep, donate, sell? Honestly, it probably makes no difference.) I was/am executor and trustee, and I send regular financial reports to the other siblings. Very transparent process and I encourage them to ask about anything. I was the only one of the siblings who had a rough idea of the size of the estate, so it was all a pleasant surprise for the others.

I know that I’m lucky - several friends had challenges to family relationships after the parents passed. Very sad when I see that.

 

[Time2]

Honestly, I think that's the way to look at it. Clearly she is taking advantage of you (because you've let her do that.) But what is 2%?

I'm sure it's her treatment of you that really hurts, not the money.

I lost my little sister when she was just at her prime. She had 4 kids and everything should have been wonderful. She had borrowed a lot from the family business. No way was I going to deprive her kids of their inheritance because their mom had borrowed against it. It's only money. I'd give a lot more than that to have her back.

Blessings and comfort on you as you w*rk through this issue. I hope it gets resolved with family ties in tact.

Yes, on taking advantage of me, but there is a bit of a caveat, she does not have the money or income to do any different, which is why I suggested she not sell the house 11 years ago.
The caveat is she has a girlfriend that has taken great advantage of her like a controlling husband. Her work history is low because she stayed home with the kids and then she helped the girlfriend unpaid in the girlfriends business. I think the girlfriend is living there most of the time and should be paying some rent and I should get that. However, I never hear anything about the girlfriend, I have no one in the neighborhood to tell me if she is there all the time or what, so I'm a bit in the dark on what has happened over the last 11 years, regarding that. Yep, I let all this happen, but, should I put my sister back to living in a van with her girlfriend at 66 years old, which they did for many years. No, but I need to get this liability off my books. Mom would not like it, but would be happy I did this little bit to help sis.

 

[retire48in2018]

I think it could be prudent to install a ring door bell or some other outside camera to determine who is or is not staying there - as long as it is for purpose of safety. If you’d catch yourself spying, prying or something similar - probably best not to tempt yourself.

In this area most landlords have some camera device on outside of each property for safety and deter non-compliance to rental agreement.

 

[Koolau]

Yes, on taking advantage of me, but there is a bit of a caveat, she does not have the money or income to do any different, which is why I suggested she not sell the house 11 years ago.
The caveat is she has a girlfriend that has taken great advantage of her like a controlling husband. Her work history is low because she stayed home with the kids and then she helped the girlfriend unpaid in the girlfriends business. I think the girlfriend is living there most of the time and should be paying some rent and I should get that. However, I never hear anything about the girlfriend, I have no one in the neighborhood to tell me if she is there all the time or what, so I'm a bit in the dark on what has happened over the last 11 years, regarding that. Yep, I let all this happen, but, should I put my sister back to living in a van with her girlfriend at 66 years old, which they did for many years. No, but I need to get this liability off my books. Mom would not like it, but would be happy I did this little bit to help sis.

I feel so sorry for your situation. It seems like the classic rock and a hard place. Blessings.

 

[38Chevy454]

Yes, on taking advantage of me, but there is a bit of a caveat, she does not have the money or income to do any different, which is why I suggested she not sell the house 11 years ago.
The caveat is she has a girlfriend that has taken great advantage of her like a controlling husband. Her work history is low because she stayed home with the kids and then she helped the girlfriend unpaid in the girlfriends business. I think the girlfriend is living there most of the time and should be paying some rent and I should get that. However, I never hear anything about the girlfriend, I have no one in the neighborhood to tell me if she is there all the time or what, so I'm a bit in the dark on what has happened over the last 11 years, regarding that. Yep, I let all this happen, but, should I put my sister back to living in a van with her girlfriend at 66 years old, which they did for many years. No, but I need to get this liability off my books. Mom would not like it, but would be happy I did this little bit to help sis.

Since your sister has no money for repairs, the logical path is an as-is sale. Sure lower money, but it gets sold and proceeds can be split 50/50. At some point your sister has to face reality and she could use the house proceeds to get a low cost apt or something, while applying for senior assistance housing.

 

[Jenna]

We asked the kids ahead of time if they wanted the house or cash. One wanted cash and the other-the house. Any remaining cash will be split. Furniture/possession will be liquidated. When we pass-we want to be specific as possible so it doesn't cause a wedge between our children.

 

[OldShooter]

We asked the kids ahead of time if they wanted the house or cash. One wanted cash and the other-the house. Any remaining cash will be split. Furniture/possession will be liquidated. When we pass-we want to be specific as possible so it doesn't cause a wedge between our children.

I suggest that you write the valuation methods for the house and for any other items of significant value right into your will. I had DM do that in her will, specifying a method that probably was slightly unfavorable to me, and liquidation of the estate was friction-free.

 

[tpkinsl]

While it may be too late for OP, I recommend “saving the family cottage” by S. Hollander. He gives a variety of suggestions on how to pass down a vacation home. In our case, we put it in an LLC with rules to address selling. For OPs question, we said the LLC would hire an appraiser. The person selling would get 85% of the value of his share - which discourages selling. And his brothers would have 10 years to pay him (as they don’t have $200k cash sitting around.)

 

[Koolau]

We asked the kids ahead of time if they wanted the house or cash. One wanted cash and the other-the house. Any remaining cash will be split. Furniture/possession will be liquidated. When we pass-we want to be specific as possible so it doesn't cause a wedge between our children.

Heh, heh, give it ALL to charity. That way everyone feels cheated but they don't fight among themselves. If they're made at you - you'll never know.

 

[OddGuy]

While it may be too late for OP, I recommend “saving the family cottage” by S. Hollander. He gives a variety of suggestions on how to pass down a vacation home. In our case, we put it in an LLC with rules to address selling. For OPs question, we said the LLC would hire an appraiser. The person selling would get 85% of the value of his share - which discourages selling. And his brothers would have 10 years to pay him (as they don’t have $200k cash sitting around.)

As OP, I can tell you nothing is too late.

The advice is not remotely close to being needed now, which is why I posed the question now.

Thanks to you and all else who replied.