Stealth Wealth

[lucky penny]

I handled all my mother's finances after our father died. She did all the checkwriting, etc and handled her day to day bills, but as far as investments I handled them for her, and kept her with a conservative mix. The siblings didn't care about it at all until my mother was getting close to passing, THEN they made a stab at finding out. I had everything so organized in her files that it wasn't too hard to find out, so they knew within spitting distance what she had. I was executor of her estate and all they wanted to know was when they were getting their money (btw, I was the only one there when she passed, yet I was always the black sheep as far as they were concerned. No good deed goes unpunished). I parceled it out to everyone over about six payment periods; no way was I going to get caught with any unforeseen bills and try to get it back from them, which would have been impossible. And everything was done by the book with the state and as far as bills and payments. Are families great?

I kept her finances stealthy as well for about 20 years after Dad passed. You might be surprised how many wolves came around to get a piece of her, relatives or otherwise, but it was easy for me to say no, and easier on her as well.

I appreciate your post. Kudos to you for handling this perfectly. And I like the idea of how you parceled out the distributions.

 

[athena53]

You might be surprised how many wolves came around to get a piece of her, relatives or otherwise, but it was easy for me to say no, and easier on her as well.

I wouldn't. Half the clickbait "news" articles I see are about estranged relatives coming out of the woodwork after the death of someone wealthy and pressuring the legitimate heirs to share what they inherited.

My brothers handled Dad's finances and his estate. I was 1,000 miles away and trusted both of them. I did ask if his LTC expenses were sustainable. They said yes. I made a point of not asking what Dad had and was pleasantly surprised to find it was over twice what I'd expected.

 

[ychuck46]

My brothers handled Dad's finances and his estate. I was 1,000 miles away and trusted both of them. I did ask if his LTC expenses were sustainable. They said yes. I made a point of not asking what Dad had and was pleasantly surprised to find it was over twice what I'd expected.

Your brothers did well by you as they did by your father. And a welcome surprise at the end; another very nice memory of your dad.

 

[Texas Proud]

I handled all my mother's finances after our father died. She did all the checkwriting, etc and handled her day to day bills, but as far as investments I handled them for her, and kept her with a conservative mix. The siblings didn't care about it at all until my mother was getting close to passing, THEN they made a stab at finding out. I had everything so organized in her files that it wasn't too hard to find out, so they knew within spitting distance what she had. I was executor of her estate and all they wanted to know was when they were getting their money (btw, I was the only one there when she passed, yet I was always the black sheep as far as they were concerned. No good deed goes unpunished). I parceled it out to everyone over about six payment periods; no way was I going to get caught with any unforeseen bills and try to get it back from them, which would have been impossible. And everything was done by the book with the state and as far as bills and payments. Aren't families great?

I kept her finances stealthy as well for about 20 years after Dad passed. You might be surprised how many wolves came around to get a piece of her, relatives or otherwise, but it was easy for me to say no, and easier on her as well.

I did the same on sending money out... none needed the money or were too concerned not getting it right away... took me 3 years to send most of it out... some of it was them wanting me to invest to make up for the loss in late 2019 the portfolio took... mom had a crapload of Exxon due to investing in 1982 and reinvesting the dividends... it took a hit...



I just passed the 4 year mark and still have cash set aside... I have 2 expenses that I have to deal with whenever they come and plan to keep the money until then... not a lot so have it in a regular checking account and 'closed' out the estate with the IRS... the estate will never again make money..

 

[SecondCor521]

I just passed the 4 year mark and still have cash set aside... I have 2 expenses that I have to deal with whenever they come and plan to keep the money until then...

May I ask what expenses are still there 4 years later?

 

[Texas Proud]

May I ask what expenses are still there 4 years later?

Sure.... my mom was into genealogy so we are putting a headstone on a plot that my grandfather bought in 1906... it took me awhile to find but my grandmother has a real headstone and there are 3 of my mother's siblings who dies at babies there with just a stone in the ground (name only)... have paid only half due to supply chain problems with stone... I expect this to be completed by year end...



The other is my mother wanted someone to publish her findings on our family tree... my sister has taken up that and is supposed to do it but so far has done nothing... if nothing happens the money set aside (per my mom's will BTW) will be sent to beneficiaries... if she finishes she get the whole amount.


I have not taken my final fee... might or might no do so since I am not doing much anymore...

 

[SecondCor521]

Sure.... my mom was into genealogy so we are putting a headstone on a plot that my grandfather bought in 1906... it took me awhile to find but my grandmother has a real headstone and there are 3 of my mother's siblings who dies at babies there with just a stone in the ground (name only)... have paid only half due to supply chain problems with stone... I expect this to be completed by year end...



The other is my mother wanted someone to publish her findings on our family tree... my sister has taken up that and is supposed to do it but so far has done nothing... if nothing happens the money set aside (per my mom's will BTW) will be sent to beneficiaries... if she finishes she get the whole amount.


I have not taken my final fee... might or might no do so since I am not doing much anymore...

Interesting, thank you.

 

[Palmtree]

All this talk of childhood clothing brought back memories. Most of my clothes came from K-Mart. Who remembers the blue light specials! I wanted Levi jeans but we lived in the projects so naturally they were too expensive. My jeans were ToughSkins and came from Sears. Stiff as a board with reinforced knees for longer wear, you couldn't damage those thing with a pick axe. Most of my shoes came from the Payless Shoe store during there buy one, get one free sales.

 

[O2Bfree]

I remember blue light specials and the smell of popcorn! My city's K-Mart building recently got demolished and replaced by stack-em-and-pack-em apartment buildings.

 

[Koolau]

It appears you can buy them online as well

https://www.sizestrips.com/ecomm/product/vans-logo-hem-edge-woven-labels

Start with an Exacto knife and a friend with a pair of Vans. (Later, you'll need some SuperGlue - and a new friend.)

 

[CincyDave]

I remember blue light specials and the smell of popcorn! My city's K-Mart building recently got demolished and replaced by stack-em-and-pack-em apartment buildings.

I had a friend whose dad used to hang out at Kmart all day and wait for the blue light specials.

 

[Koolau]

I had a friend whose dad used to hang out at Kmart all day and wait for the blue light specials.

I never did get one of those blue lights. Very disappointed.

 

[Badger]

I love it! "Poor sheik!"



Heh, heh, at your 50th reunion, I hope everyone remembers who started the fad.

In 2 years it will be our 60th reunion. Not sure what anyone will remember by then. If the shirts were still available I would get one to wear but they were discontinued long ago. Bummer!

Cheers!

 

[SunnyOne]

Wonder how many of the French aristocratic class thought they were being stealthy with their wealth back in the days before the storming of the Bastille and rolling out of the guillotine? Just saying.

They never saw it coming.

 

[frayne]

Wonder how many of the French aristocratic class thought they were being stealthy with their wealth back in the days before the storming of the Bastille and rolling out of the guillotine? Just saying.

They never saw it coming.

And heads rolled !

 

[Milkman]

I had an out of state aunt and uncle who lived on some very expensive property. They had no children. My uncle asked me to watch out for my aunt after he passed. Which I did; becoming her conservator. He offered to give me the entire estate which I turned down so my two cousins (also residing in other states) could equally share the estate. My aunt lived for six years requiring 24 hour in house health care, due to dementia, and finally care in a nursing facility. One of my cousins was emailing the other, showing her dissatisfaction with my efforts. The second cousin was quietly forwarding all of them to me. Also my aunt was attracting some local vultures who were interested in her property. I finally had to hire a lawyer to look out for her interests.

After her eventual passing, it took another year to dispose of her assets and pay her final bills. At which time the remaining balance of her assets was passed on in equal amounts to my two cousins and me. I had told both of my cousin that if she spent her last dime on the day she died, it was merely good planning. Despite this all three of us received very nice windfalls after it was over.

 

[LateToFIRE]

I had an out of state aunt and uncle who lived on some very expensive property. They had no children. My uncle asked me to watch out for my aunt after he passed. Which I did; becoming her conservator. He offered to give me the entire estate which I turned down so my two cousins (also residing in other states) could equally share the estate. My aunt lived for six years requiring 24 hour in house health care, due to dementia, and finally care in a nursing facility. One of my cousins was emailing the other, showing her dissatisfaction with my efforts. The second cousin was quietly forwarding all of them to me. Also my aunt was attracting some local vultures who were interested in her property. I finally had to hire a lawyer to look out for her interests.

After her eventual passing, it took another year to dispose of her assets and pay her final bills. At which time the remaining balance of her assets was passed on in equal amounts to my two cousins and me. I had told both of my cousin that if she spent her last dime on the day she died, it was merely good planning. Despite this all three of us received very nice windfalls after it was over.

I can relate. Having been an active participant in settling a handful of estates for family and friends, I can truly say that no good deed goes unpunished. There are invariably self-centered, back-biting, vultures for whom nothing you could do, short of handing them the keys to everything would be enough - and that's just family! Never mind the professional hucksters you have to fight off. This is why I use a top lawyer at a top law firm for my estate plan - I know how ugly it could get for whomever will settle my estate someday.

 

[Time2]

That same thing would probably be around $65 if it had a Vans label on it.

Not all that many years ago, my wife would purchase that Deck type show at Sam's, end of season clearance, for a dollar a pair. There were times I had 6 pairs in the in boxes in the closet. Not sure, but if I checked the shelf in the closet I may still have some of those, If not, I do know there are several pairs of some other shoe she bought at some ridiculously low price.