Supporting grown-up kids after FIRE

[Orchidflower]

Don't know about most of you, but I want BigNick as my daddy in my next life...hint, hint.

 

[youbet]

how far do/did you plan to support your kids after they finished college/left home?

Our son never returned home after college, which he attended on our nickle. He and his college girlfriend, both engineers, got jobs in the same city and moved in together. A year later, I did pay for the booze at their wedding reception and several years after that bought them a mini-van when grandchild #3 was on the way.

At what point is "enough" enough? (If I stayed at work until 65, and put the excess above expenditure into a trust fund, I could probably have both children's future retirements provided for!)

Enough is enough when your personal allocation of your money says that you'd get more enjoyment from spending it someplace else. Much of this has to do with how much money you have. If funding grandkids' college accounts means you take zero vacations.......ahhh......I don't think I'd do that. If funding grandkids' college accounts means you get a new car every five years instead of every two years, why that would sound good to me. You have to make those allocation decisions yourself.

The gift our son and DIL appreciate the most from us is our time. When our oldest grandson was born with cerebral palsy, we said we'd stay here in the area for at least several years to help out rather than move to a more typical retirement location. When the next two grand kids arrived, they served as additional "little anchors" and we're definitely still here. Both DW and I enjoy the strong family ties. Son and DIL appreciate having occasional baby sitters and DW's help (retired special ed teacher) with the oldest grandson's special needs.

The biggest satisfaction we get from having a "comfortable" retirement income vs. relatively frugal tastes is knowing that if the need arises, we'd be able to help out significantly without disrupting our own lives and retirement in ways we'd rather not.

 

[NW-Bound]

I'd prefer that my children will do well on their own that they will not need my assistance. But we will never know in this economic climate.

On the other hand, we do not want to be so ready to offer help, lest them get lazy and complacent. It is a matter of playing it by ear, like most people.