The role of FATE in retirement

[misterantsypants]

Since retiring, fate has played a important role in my life. My original planning went off-rail almost immediately. It has changed from a goal of nesting in a beachfront home longterm to a really unpredictable, non-planable existence.

Most, if not all, of the past 15 years have been the result of opportunities, requirements, changing needs, quests and the like. And I have gained so much from having those unplanned life changes.

In the course, I have changed with the inexorable tide from a homebody, comfortable with the familiar joys of L'Allegro to a knight-errant. Not only adventure in travel but in learning new things.

Just wondering how many on this forum have experienced the same.

 

[cooch96]

I’m guessing an abrupt change of plans is pretty common for many retirees, but usually related to the death of a spouse or a personal health crisis.

Sounds like you’ve had repeated and comprehensive shifts in your self definition. Not just a rolling stone; a caroming stone.

 

[marko]

In a sense.
My single, healthy brother had been mom's (age 89) "supervisor" and companion. Our plan had been to spend a few months in Greece or Almalfi etc. each summer.

When my brother was stricken with a serious stroke, suddenly we find ourselves having to take shorter trips and generally to places we can get back from quickly. We still winter in Florida and take short hops to Bermuda; we plan a 10 day to Europe next spring but a lot will depend on mom's health and brother's improvement.

As a consolation prize, we did go out and buy two new luxury vehicles as our "Amalfi" cars; we're just spending the money differently.

 

[Winemaker]

To me variety is the spice of life, except for DW! If I planned to eat only at Wendy's, Long John Silvers, or Pizza Hut, I would be even closer to the funny farm. My siblings are that way, they wouldn't eat a non-chain restaurant if their life depended on it.

Going outside the box is fun!

 

[SpartacusSchmartacus]

To me variety is the spice of life, Going outside the box is fun!

You go girl! Get out there, life is short!

Fate indeed. My healthy and fit older brother, willing to do pretty much anything has a wife with mental problems and won't leave the house.
Another brother has no money to spend in retirement.
A sister has too many health problems and sits looking out the window.

Get out there NOW and DO IT! ... what are we waiting for?

 

[GravitySucks]

Fate got me to retire early. It's now left me with another big change.
Guess I should really say fate brought opportunities and challenges, my responses to those is why I'm in this position now.

 

[kcowan]

My life plan has always been a baseline from which to deal with changes. Each new reality has caused plan changes. But life is full of change. We embrace it because we have no other choice.

 

[GrayHare]

Fate plays a role not just in retirement but in all of life, starting with winning the birth lottery being born human in this place during this time period. Since there are no definitive answers as to why any of those have happened, one can't think too deeply about it without reaching age-old philosophy questions.

 

[imoldernu]

My life plan has always been a baseline from which to deal with changes. Each new reality has caused plan changes. But life is full of change. We embrace it because we have no other choice.

Well said. +1

 

[misterantsypants]

BTW I am male but notice early this morning that my profile said female. Big difference!

Responding to the very honest/open replies, it sounds as if fate is a real life changer. Events can be cause drastic changes, for instance.


SO's elderly mother asked for help, turned out to be a great adventure in Southern Spain.
Later, SO took a job offer in Marrakech teaching Spanish, and we rented a rooftop room for 6 months at Amskal Riad. We met so many interesting guests, none rich, none famous, and the breakfasts spoiled us. Many great conversations.

All in the first years that I played to walk the beach looking for shells, driftwood, and meta detecting.

Changed by fate?

 

[LivePassionately]

You have a great attitude and seem like you are enjoying whatever has happened even though it wasn't in your plans. I think a lot of us (or maybe it's just me) could learn to be more like you and be more open to the Universe when things don't go as planned. Good luck with the rest of your retirement

BTW I am male but notice early this morning that my profile said female. Big difference!

Responding to the very honest/open replies, it sounds as if fate is a real life changer. Events can be cause drastic changes, for instance.


SO's elderly mother asked for help, turned out to be a great adventure in Southern Spain.
Later, SO took a job offer in Marrakech teaching Spanish, and we rented a rooftop room for 6 months at Amskal Riad. We met so many interesting guests, none rich, none famous, and the breakfasts spoiled us. Many great conversations.

All in the first years that I played to walk the beach looking for shells, driftwood, and meta detecting.

Changed by fate?

 

[robnplunder]

3 years of ER for me and things have gone as planned and expected. Fate hasn't played any significant role so far ... or, that's just my "ER" fate. Hmmm.

 

[W2R]

I've been retired for 9 years so far, and it has been pretty much as expected. Sure, we made some changes in our plans but we were the ones who decided on the changes, not Fate.

 

[foxfirev5]

Call it fate or just working things out, but this morning we have 4 generations under one large roof. Nobody's sick , no employment or money issues, no marital issues, just smoothing out some of life's transitions. We are very fortunate and thankful. This situation has been a blessing in that I'm finding my petty attitudes have diminished and I find myself more at peace. Maybe you really do need a sense of purpose in retirement. None of this was in the cards at ER 2 years ago.

Anyway, my 2 month old GD is sitting here with me going over the monthly finances. I must admit she appears to be showing more interest than DW.

 

[FIREd]

Divorce has been the greatest disruptor of my retirement so far. Not only is it disruptive financially, but it is also prompting me to completely redesign my lifestyle. My future retirement (post-divorce) will be nothing like I imagined (but not necessarily in a bad way).

 

[Dtail]

Divorce has been the greatest disruptor of my retirement so far. Not only is it disruptive financially, but it is also prompting me to completely redesign my lifestyle. My future retirement (post-divorce) will be nothing like I imagined (but not necessarily in a bad way).

Good luck to you. My divorce was 8 years before retirement plus alimony pymts ended 1 year before. Thus had some time to rebudget etc. It did cost me overall, but much happier now with DGF.

 

[SteveR]

FATE has a lot of influence on FIRE. A quick example...


At age 50 I retired from Big Pharma along with my wife of 9 years. We moved to another state; I took a job with a company that payed for the move. My intent was to work a year to pay off the moving debt, add to my FIRE $$$ and then quit. 7 months into our new life my DW died suddenly. FATE smacked my up the side of the head and I decided to not retire as I needed a full time diversion to stay busy. Making more $$ was secondary.



Some time later after resolving my grief I was interested in finding a new life partner. Having no time to actually "date" due to my work schedule I chose the internet dating route. Long story short...FATE pushed me to a dating site I was not listed with and while there I did a quick search for the heck of it. One one of the search pages a face caught me eye and BANG...I was hooked. We married several months later.



Same wife...two years later. She had to have major back surgery. The surgeon screwed up...literally and put a screw through a major never root in her spine. FATE smacked us again. She could not work and went onto disability. I decided my FIRE date needed to move up to allow me to take care of her full time. I FIRED in 2007. DW over the years has managed to overcome a lot of her disability through sheer determination...she made her own FATE in that respect. Had she not, she would have been in a wheelchair.



FATE has been a major part of my life over my FIRE years and continues to do so. The trick is to be open to more than one to react when FATE smacks you. There is always another way from what appears to be the only way to react. Keep an open mind and do some homework on your options...the one you ultimately choose may be one you don't even know about yet.

 

[REWahoo]

Keep an open mine and do some homework on your options...the one you ultimately choose may be one you don't even know about yet.

Maybe a typo but true nonetheless. You may think FATE has given you the shaft but if you do your homework you could find it leads to a real treasure.

 

[SteveR]

Maybe a typo but true nonetheless. You may think FATE has given you the shaft but if you do your homework you could find it leads to a real treasure.

I fixed the typo...both could certainly be true...depending how you look at it. Thanks

 

[Independent]

"Fate" has not been kind. Two years after I retired, my wife was diagnosed with breast cancer. In retrospect, that has bee the smallest issue we've faced. It started a year of medical treatments (not just cancer), but she has been cancer free for 9 years.

Three of the people closest to us, a son, son-in-law, and grandson have had very serious health problems. In some cases, mental. One seems to be on the road to recovery. We haven't seen the light at the end of the tunnel yet on the other two. Time and money that was going to be spent traveling and playing and sitting the the LTC warchest went toward back-filling parenting roles and lost income.

Retirement has been much different than expected. If there's a silver lining, I've felt "useful" and "needed" in retirement. But, I would have much preferred the retirement I expected.

The take away for planning is that we had a significant financial cushion and the ability to differentiate between "wants" and "needs". It would have been much worse if we had retired on a slender margin.

Fate plays a role not just in retirement but in all of life, starting with winning the birth lottery being born human in this place during this time period. Since there are no definitive answers as to why any of those have happened, one can't think too deeply about it without reaching age-old philosophy questions.

Thanks. When I get too negative, I think about that. I won the birth lottery - born in the US in 1947, talent for a higher income job, good health, parents who gave me a chance, being in the right place at the right time when my first career crashed. Think of how many people in the world have never even enjoyed a dish of ice cream, to say nothing of sleeping in an air-conditioned bedroom.