Well, it's that time of year again. Happy holidays.
Spouse is doing her two weeks' Reserve duty at the local HQ. She'll spend six days working "normal" hours (7 AM to 6 PM plus a bonus commuting hour) and then she'll do eight straight "days" of 12-hour midwatches (add two hours/day for turnover & commuting). 14 consecutive days of this pays her ~$4200 before taxes, or around $25/hour including the commute. And she's worth every penny!
She came home from the first day saying "Everyone seems tired." Let me explain what it means when a naval officer (including a Marine) actually notices that someone is tired. If nuclear submariners were firefighters then they'd wear a belt & suspenders, but they'd also loop a rope through the beltholes and tie it tightly around their neck, and they'd have someone follow them around 24/7 to make sure their pants weren't falling down. When my spouse rode the USS CHICAGO for a few days she observed this mentality at work in the control room. (I was part of the problem so I never noticed it.) Every piece of equipment was backed up with two other systems and a human watchstander. The guy controlling the rudder has a partner and two supervisors just in case the electronics, hydraulics, pneumatics, and mechanical linkages don't do the job. As the whole watchsection was stumbling around & dozing off despite intravenous caffeine, she observed "Boy, you guys sure do make yourselves tired." So for her to say the same thing about the HQ shore-duty staff means that it's a miracle they don't fall asleep at the wheel driving home. They have black belts in chronic sleep deprivation. Of course I'm not sure that all of them go home at night, but that's a different problem.
She's at HQ to support a logistics/warfare planning exercise. The Army colonel in charge of her part of the Ops/Plans department has no experience in that field, which didn't inhibit him from firing his only experienced subordinate who lacked the tact to patiently & inoffensively explain the subject to his boss. The remaining sycophants don't know what they're doing, but the boss can't tell either so everything looks OK. The flag officer of the directorate is a Navy admiral who just returned from sea duty and has similar joint planning experience-- zero. With only 48 working hours left before COMEX and no real corporate memory, you can imagine the environmental crisis level. Let's just say that if PowerPoint slides were oil, this week's overproduction would implode their price to $1 a barrel. OTOH paper consumption is being measured in reams, not pages. I don't think PowerPoint slides count as Operations and there sure isn't any Planning happening. But somehow this exercise will muddle through its operations and the war planning will improve from the lessons learned.
One of the officers is a "geographic bachelor". That's a military euphemism for "Hell no I won't move to Hawaii with him, and I'm divorcing him as soon as his housing allowance stops" "Spouse has a great career back home & the kids are in good Mainland schools". He claims he has four kids (which he confuses with the avocation of actually RAISING four kids) and he's proud of the sacrifices that he's making for his family (just don't follow him down to Ke'eamoku Street this weekend).
Why the @#$* do these people put up with this? An unfortunately small minority are patriots who enjoy the heck out of the challenge. I salute them because they don't walk around telling everyone what they are-- they live their ethics and they don't brag about it. Jarhead is nodding his head because he knows that most of them are Marines. They just do it. I don't think they could even contemplate retirement, let alone ER.
Another fortunately small minority endures the HQ because they're not in combat and they don't want their performance to volunteer them for that duty. They can hang out with their shipmates, drink unlimited Kona coffee, and tell sea stories 24/7. They might even do a little work if you're watching them, but they won't be the first to go home at night. No fool would mess up this good deal. Besides they're usually extroverts who need the stimulation & camaraderie more than they need the paycheck or the responsibility. If they weren't swilling coffee at HQ in uniform, they'd be bringing doughnuts as civilian contractors. They'll have a heart attack from one or the other before they'd retire.
For some of the staff, at this stage in their career they're grasping for flag rank more responsibility. Everyone tries to do more more more to be "outstanding" or even (*gasp*) SUPERIOR while the military is diverting all their replacements & funding to Iraq. If they're not beating themselves-- or a competitive coworker-- to a bloody pulp then they don't have a dog in the fight and they're irrelevant. Some of them have already survived one heart attack. They'll retire only if they're forced to, and they'll die shortly thereafter feeling like abject failures.
Another issue is money security. About half of the HQ staff are at the 15-18 year point, with only a few thousand working hours short years to vesting for that 50% retirement pay. When their assignment officers said "I can't fill this job" "This Hawaii duty will be good for your career", they saluted & started packing. When the assignment officer calls, they know it's his way or the highway. They don't believe that they could survive (or join the Reserves!) without that pension.
But that doesn't explain the behavior of the people who are already eligible to retire-- and that's about a third of the staff. For them it could still be about the alimony money, but it's probably about the power and the ego boost of having hundreds of junior personnel trying their hardest to make their bosses happy. When you're wearing stars on your shoulders, have your own executive bathroom, can phone anyone in the world for free or drop bombs on them, and can have your food delivered to your office anytime of the day or night-- why in the world would you even go home, let alone retire?
Spouse has identified why she doesn't miss going to work:
- she's tired of being tired,
- she's tired of crisis managment, especially by pointy-haired idiots,
- she doesn't want the family separation anymore,
- it's someone else's turn to be the patriot,
- she's literally a left-handed INTJ introvert,
- she can live without the money, and
- she can live without the ego trip.
I don't think she'll have any trouble retiring when she's eligible. The Reserves have made her far happier than active duty ever did. When she tells me her stories about my fellow submariners on that HQ staff I think "There but for the grace of God go I..."
Thanks for listening. This HQ's microcosm is probably not indicative of the rest of the military, and I really want to believe that.
If this post reminds me of your office, you have my condolences.
Spouse is doing her two weeks' Reserve duty at the local HQ. She'll spend six days working "normal" hours (7 AM to 6 PM plus a bonus commuting hour) and then she'll do eight straight "days" of 12-hour midwatches (add two hours/day for turnover & commuting). 14 consecutive days of this pays her ~$4200 before taxes, or around $25/hour including the commute. And she's worth every penny!
She came home from the first day saying "Everyone seems tired." Let me explain what it means when a naval officer (including a Marine) actually notices that someone is tired. If nuclear submariners were firefighters then they'd wear a belt & suspenders, but they'd also loop a rope through the beltholes and tie it tightly around their neck, and they'd have someone follow them around 24/7 to make sure their pants weren't falling down. When my spouse rode the USS CHICAGO for a few days she observed this mentality at work in the control room. (I was part of the problem so I never noticed it.) Every piece of equipment was backed up with two other systems and a human watchstander. The guy controlling the rudder has a partner and two supervisors just in case the electronics, hydraulics, pneumatics, and mechanical linkages don't do the job. As the whole watchsection was stumbling around & dozing off despite intravenous caffeine, she observed "Boy, you guys sure do make yourselves tired." So for her to say the same thing about the HQ shore-duty staff means that it's a miracle they don't fall asleep at the wheel driving home. They have black belts in chronic sleep deprivation. Of course I'm not sure that all of them go home at night, but that's a different problem.
She's at HQ to support a logistics/warfare planning exercise. The Army colonel in charge of her part of the Ops/Plans department has no experience in that field, which didn't inhibit him from firing his only experienced subordinate who lacked the tact to patiently & inoffensively explain the subject to his boss. The remaining sycophants don't know what they're doing, but the boss can't tell either so everything looks OK. The flag officer of the directorate is a Navy admiral who just returned from sea duty and has similar joint planning experience-- zero. With only 48 working hours left before COMEX and no real corporate memory, you can imagine the environmental crisis level. Let's just say that if PowerPoint slides were oil, this week's overproduction would implode their price to $1 a barrel. OTOH paper consumption is being measured in reams, not pages. I don't think PowerPoint slides count as Operations and there sure isn't any Planning happening. But somehow this exercise will muddle through its operations and the war planning will improve from the lessons learned.
One of the officers is a "geographic bachelor". That's a military euphemism for "Hell no I won't move to Hawaii with him, and I'm divorcing him as soon as his housing allowance stops" "Spouse has a great career back home & the kids are in good Mainland schools". He claims he has four kids (which he confuses with the avocation of actually RAISING four kids) and he's proud of the sacrifices that he's making for his family (just don't follow him down to Ke'eamoku Street this weekend).
Why the @#$* do these people put up with this? An unfortunately small minority are patriots who enjoy the heck out of the challenge. I salute them because they don't walk around telling everyone what they are-- they live their ethics and they don't brag about it. Jarhead is nodding his head because he knows that most of them are Marines. They just do it. I don't think they could even contemplate retirement, let alone ER.
Another fortunately small minority endures the HQ because they're not in combat and they don't want their performance to volunteer them for that duty. They can hang out with their shipmates, drink unlimited Kona coffee, and tell sea stories 24/7. They might even do a little work if you're watching them, but they won't be the first to go home at night. No fool would mess up this good deal. Besides they're usually extroverts who need the stimulation & camaraderie more than they need the paycheck or the responsibility. If they weren't swilling coffee at HQ in uniform, they'd be bringing doughnuts as civilian contractors. They'll have a heart attack from one or the other before they'd retire.
For some of the staff, at this stage in their career they're grasping for flag rank more responsibility. Everyone tries to do more more more to be "outstanding" or even (*gasp*) SUPERIOR while the military is diverting all their replacements & funding to Iraq. If they're not beating themselves-- or a competitive coworker-- to a bloody pulp then they don't have a dog in the fight and they're irrelevant. Some of them have already survived one heart attack. They'll retire only if they're forced to, and they'll die shortly thereafter feeling like abject failures.
Another issue is money security. About half of the HQ staff are at the 15-18 year point, with only a few thousand working hours short years to vesting for that 50% retirement pay. When their assignment officers said "I can't fill this job" "This Hawaii duty will be good for your career", they saluted & started packing. When the assignment officer calls, they know it's his way or the highway. They don't believe that they could survive (or join the Reserves!) without that pension.
But that doesn't explain the behavior of the people who are already eligible to retire-- and that's about a third of the staff. For them it could still be about the alimony money, but it's probably about the power and the ego boost of having hundreds of junior personnel trying their hardest to make their bosses happy. When you're wearing stars on your shoulders, have your own executive bathroom, can phone anyone in the world for free or drop bombs on them, and can have your food delivered to your office anytime of the day or night-- why in the world would you even go home, let alone retire?
Spouse has identified why she doesn't miss going to work:
- she's tired of being tired,
- she's tired of crisis managment, especially by pointy-haired idiots,
- she doesn't want the family separation anymore,
- it's someone else's turn to be the patriot,
- she's literally a left-handed INTJ introvert,
- she can live without the money, and
- she can live without the ego trip.
I don't think she'll have any trouble retiring when she's eligible. The Reserves have made her far happier than active duty ever did. When she tells me her stories about my fellow submariners on that HQ staff I think "There but for the grace of God go I..."
Thanks for listening. This HQ's microcosm is probably not indicative of the rest of the military, and I really want to believe that.
If this post reminds me of your office, you have my condolences.