Trapped Gramma wants out

[MissMolly]

I don't recall her saying she had a supplement along with Medicare.

She’s 63. She’s not on Medicare.

 

[aja8888]

She’s 63. She’s not on Medicare.

My stepdaughter is on Medicare and she is 55. Disability awarded by SS can get you there. She says in a post above she is on Medicare, but maybe she is really on Medicaid since she is not employed? These's not enough information in her posts to indicate her real status.

 

[corn18]

one more comment--
I just googled average salary for pharmacist in Maine and it is over $100,000K/year.

I believe Your daughter and SIL have the means to pay you a salary for your services, even if they are family. Your time is valuable.

This. I know I would have done the same thing you did, but at some point, I would tell the $200k wage earners about my situation and see what could be done. Now that they are on their way, they need to think about how to repay you for all the help that got them there.

 

[Irishgirlyc58]

She’s 63. She’s not on Medicare.

Yeah- I’m wondering if she meant Medicaid and not Medicare.

 

[pb4uski]

She’s 63. She’s not on Medicare.

Not true Miss Molly... or at least that is what she says... but perhaps she is receiving Medicaid and confused Medicaid and Medicare... that is a common point of confusion.

...I'm also getting Medicare and food stamps! Yes the state is aware of my living situation. ...

 

[Scrapr]

I'd think about your family building an ADU on their property for you to live in. (and do I have to say it out loud....rent free for the rest of your life) This gives you some independence & they get child care. Better than a mobile home on the property & more comfortable.

This allows you to stretch your income farther. In addition to the salary you would earn from the parents

 

[pb4uski]

Some friends of ours spend the winter in a casita that they had built on their daughter's property in Texas... its quite nice. If the OP's daughter has some acreage then that may be a great possibility. The OP gets some independence and affordable housing and the DD and DSIL get nearby help with childcare.

 

[MissMolly]

Yep. You guys are correct. She did say she was on Medicare. I completely missed that. But she doesn't say anything about being disabled so I also believe she must mean Medicaid.

 

[aja8888]

Yep. You guys are correct. She did say she was on Medicare. I completely missed that. But she doesn't say anything about being disabled so I also believe she must mean Medicaid.

Recall that as part of the ACA guidelines, some states agreed to expand Medicaid for those who didn't earn enough to qualify for an ACA policy. Not all states did this (maybe Maine did?).

For those states that didn't, if you didn't make enough to qualify for an ACA plan, and you couldn't afford an open market health plan (who could?), then you dropped into a hole where you could not get health coverage as expanded Medicaid was not available.

 

[ivinsfan]

Recall that as part of the ACA guidelines, some states agreed to expand Medicaid for those who didn't earn enough to qualify for an ACA policy. Not all states did this (maybe Maine did?).

For those states that didn't, if you didn't make enough to qualify for an ACA plan, and you couldn't afford an open market health plan (who could?), then you dropped into a hole where you could not get health coverage as expanded Medicaid was not available.

This gets worse by the minute. Spent all her savings,is on Medicaid while she's working in the home of family members making 200k. I don't think much of her DD and SIL.

 

[Chuckanut]

The OP's situation may be one where a more affordable Medicare Advantage plan makes sense.

In Washington there are zero monthly payment Medicare Advantage plans, but they often require co-pays. Perhaps the OP can find such a plan in Maine. She should consider calling Boomer Benefits and seeing what they can come up with.

Just watch out for the co-pays. They can eat up a small savings in the monthly payment in a New York minute.

 

[Aerides]

This gets worse by the minute. Spent all her savings,is on Medicaid while she's working in the home of family members making 200k. I don't think much of her DD and SIL.

Perhaps they don't really know her financial situation, and consider the deal to work because she gets room/board staying with them? But yes I agree, the conversation needs to start at home if it hasn't already.

I mean if my Mom is staying with me to help raise my kids, and thinking in a couple of years she can only get an RV to live in, I'd want to know and be working on ways to avoid that reality now.

 

[ivinsfan]

Perhaps they don't really know her financial situation, and consider the deal to work because she gets room/board staying with them? But yes I agree, the conversation needs to start at home if it hasn't already.

I mean if my Mom is staying with me to help raise my kids, and thinking in a couple of years she can only get an RV to live in, I'd want to know and be working on ways to avoid that reality now.

You know if this was for a year or two I might give DD some slack..this is almost 2 decades of below market childcare.

 

[Mark1]

You know if this was for a year or two I might give DD some slack..this is almost 2 decades of below market childcare.

I'm way short on quality data to judge DD.

 

[Chuckanut]

Perhaps they don't really know her financial situation, and consider the deal to work because she gets room/board staying with them? But yes I agree, the conversation needs to start at home if it hasn't already.

I mean if my Mom is staying with me to help raise my kids, and thinking in a couple of years she can only get an RV to live in, I'd want to know and be working on ways to avoid that reality now.

At the very least I would remodel/add-on a room and turn it into an apartment for mom. I would not throw her to the running dogs of fate. (Not saying the kids are doing that, just that I would not.)

 

[latexman]

That's a possibility, but I really love gardening.

Hey! Is there a nursery, garden center, landscaping, farm, or farmer’s market nearby you can get a full or part time job at? Can DD and SIL arrange their schedule to accommodate you?

 

[RetiredAndLovingIt]

I'd think about your family building an ADU on their property for you to live in. (and do I have to say it out loud....rent free for the rest of your life) This gives you some independence & they get child care. Better than a mobile home on the property & more comfortable.

This allows you to stretch your income farther. In addition to the salary you would earn from the parents

This is exactly what I had tried to post earlier but for some reason the original post was gone so I couldn't. Sell your daughter on the idea of building a granny flat at the bottom of the garden which will increase their property value and give grandma the independence she needs. As the kids get older you'll have more time to take short trips so spend your money on vacations or even just day trips to get away for a while. An RV would just be a huge financial burden in my opinion.

It would be nice if you were paid a little for your babysitting duties but you certainly don't want to upset the applecart right now by suddenly demanding to be paid because a bunch of strangers on the internet are telling you to. If you decide to bring up the subject be sure to do it in a non-confrontational way.

I assume when the kids are grown and you're no longer a babysitter they're not planning on tossing you out or are they? That would certainly change things

 

[Calico]

I'm 63, and about 10 years ago walked away from an unfulfilling job in order to take care of my grandkids and help my daughter and son-in-law so they wouldn't have the stress that I had when my daughter was little and I was working full-time . We all picked up and moved to Maine, a lovely but poor state. They have great jobs and a nice property. In 8 to 10 years I won't be needed as a caregiver since the grandkids will be driving teenagers by that time, hopefully. Although I live rent free with my daughter with no utility bills, I really want to be independent again. I retired in 2020, having used up all my savings. So now I'm basically starting all over again. I try to save as much as I can, and I expect an inheritance of about $100,000 in a few years. I don't know if I would want to buy an RV and travel, get a mobile home in a park for security considerations (neither would grow in value), or get a standalone mobile home on a piece of land for investment considerations. I would really love a piece of land of my own, but then the mobile home would probably be pretty dilapidated, and I won't have money to fix it up. I don't really expect magic answers, but other peoples experiences are very valuable!

I would be wary of making future plans based on an "expected" inheritance. There are countless ways for that anticipated "windfall" (as the OP described it) to fail to materialize. A bird in the hand, and all that.

 

[Morgan22]

If I was the OP and have Medicare...

OP cannot be on Medicare. She must be confusing Medicaid with Medicare. She is only 63 years old according to her first post. Since she is on Medicaid, she needs to keep her income extremely low to continue with Medicaid, else she'll be kicked off and have to purchase an ACA plan.

 

[ivinsfan]

OP cannot be on Medicare. She must be confusing Medicaid with Medicare. She is only 63 years old according to her first post. Since she is on Medicaid, she needs to keep her income extremely low to continue with Medicaid, else she'll be kicked off and have to purchase an ACA plan.

Yes it might cost 20 bucks a month for a better plan. ...if you are babysitting your grandkids full time should you make more then Medicaid income

 

[aja8888]

OP cannot be on Medicare. She must be confusing Medicaid with Medicare. She is only 63 years old according to her first post. Since she is on Medicaid, she needs to keep her income extremely low to continue with Medicaid, else she'll be kicked off and have to purchase an ACA plan.

Apparently, you didn't read any of my previous posts.

She says she is on Medicare. She didn't say anything else.

My stepdaughter is on Medicare and is 55 years old. Many people can be on Medicare under 65 if they meet certain conditions. One is be getting SS disability payments. There are others.

 

[Amethyst]

To me, it's not the checkout time that is the issue. It's the costly, draining downhill spiral that finally results in the checkout. Few of us are lucky enough to just wake up dead - we have a lengthy decline, first.

I am going to die when I am 86; how do I know? In my 30's I was doing some retirement planning and looking at insurance annuities (didn't go there). In the planning/application process they did a health/heredity/life expectancy study and determined I would probably check out around 86.

.

 

[Morgan22]

Apparently, you didn't read any of my previous posts.

She says she is on Medicare. She didn't say anything else.

My stepdaughter is on Medicare and is 55 years old. Many people can be on Medicare under 65 if they meet certain conditions. One is be getting SS disability payments. There are others.

Sorry for quoting you. I'm thinking she is on Medicaid because in her posts it sounds like she indicated as soon as she could she retired at 62 and starting collecting SS. I guess I missed it where she said she was deemed disabled by SS and waited the 2 years to get on Medicare.

 

[Morgan22]

Yes it might cost 20 bucks a month for a better plan. ...if you are babysitting your grandkids full time should you make more then Medicaid income

True, most likely the monthly premium would be affordable. It's the high deductible you need to be aware of. Of course that depends on how high your income is. I've seen/heard many people caught off guard by the thousands of dollars they have to pay first when they get sick. Just throwing this out there so she's aware to look into the total costs.

 

[JJpop]

I am trying to figure out how someone with no money can live and travel in a RV.

The comments from the OP make no sense from a financial viewpoint.

A 100,000 is nothing when you have to buy an RV and everything else needed to live that lifestyle.