Mach1:
Shhhh, caffeine.
I have mostly seen things from a two stroke methodology :
. First, during the non-retired portion one primarily experiences the outward stroke of life, job, family--all the activites and social interaction required to make things go well. Much of this falls away after retirement, kids are gone, no required work, etc. This leaves far more time for the inner stroke, that of self discovery and, hopefully, time to delve into those more charming aspects of life that previously had to be put off. Now is the time to pre-examine that transition so you're ready and the permanent shift is comfortable.
So the 'pause & reflect' was an important step for me. What had I missed doing in my younger days? Is it possible now? Do I still want to? Do I now have time or interest for a hobby that sounded interesting years ago?
At a deeper level for me, I returned to reading. I enjoy my mental activities more than I should, perhaps. I solve all the world's problem in my head. I solve Demon Wife's problems all the time (but not those she wants solved, necessarily). I range far and wide looking for all the answers to my youthful questions that were interrupted previously. I get better answers too, I hope.
I think finding "charm" is most important. By that I mean finding something inside one's self that starts to generate more calmness, ease, comfort AND liveliness too. You know it when you experience it. It's positive and life supporting. It makes your spouse happy too.