Want to move to better weather but tough to leave family/comfort

[audreyh1]

If you live in a nice location with great weather, all of a sudden kids and grandkids become very excited about visiting you! Especially if the beach not far!

 

[ivinsfan]

If you live in a nice location with great weather, all of a sudden kids and grandkids become very excited about visiting you! Especially if the beach not far!

That's not untrue, but people's real lives always get in the way.Jobs, school. kids leagues and activities..going cross country requires a pretty good time commitment. I think if someone moves and pins their hopes on frequent visits they will be disappointed.

 

[MichaelB]

That's not untrue, but people's real lives always get in the way.Jobs, school. kids leagues and activities..going cross country requires a pretty good time commitment. I think if someone moves and pins their hopes on frequent visits they will be disappointed.

Well, in our house DW certainly agrees with Audreyh1. Her (DW) view is as long as DD & grandkids live in the artic north (Chicago area) and we live in the near tropics (South Fl) and only a couple miles from the beach, they will be visiting us regularly, mostly in the Dec - Feb timeframe.

 

[StaceyR]

I've lived in SoCal/Orange County (near Irvine) for my entire adult life but with my new RE freedom am thinking more about relocating to "greener pastures". Great weather, a wealth of entertainment options and family close by make it difficult to leave but I like the idea of living in an area that stays greener year-round and isn't overcrowded or overpriced. I'm not ready for harsh winters or humid, bug infested summers so that limits my options further. Maybe smaller homes in two areas is the answer. Call me a dreamer...

 

[Teacher Terry]

During the years we were raising our kids we have lived by family and away. When living away we used our vacation every year to go see the parents. Both sets also came to see us once a year. I live in a 4 season mild climate and no way would I move to somewhere cold. 1 son lives here but the other 2 don't. Even if he and his wife moved away I would not follow them. Having moved a lot through my life building a social network just takes time and work. Although my Mom loved when we lived in the same town she encouraged me to move for work, better climate, etc if I wanted to. She never tried to hold me back.

 

[daylatedollarshort]

There's a couple in one of our clubs who come here to Nor Cal for the winter. I think they rent here and have a house on the East Coast they return to for the summer. They have family in two locations and just split their time.

If we move to So Cal we would probably move to Orange County. But what keeps us up in Nor Cal are all the parks, scenery, public transportation, cultural activities and day trips. We live in the suburbs near a state park, not far from Redwood hikes and live near one of the commuter train stations so we can take the train to go into San Francisco and Berkeley for the theater, museums and music venues. For an afternoon outing we can go to Napa or Sonoma wineries, Sausalito, Santa Cruz, Point Reyes or Marin Headlands. For long day trips or overnight we can go to Yosemite, Lake Tahoe, Monterrey and Carmel. It is greener here with more trees and hiking type parks within the metro area, but if the beach and warmer weather are more important to you then So Cal might be a better fit.

 

[ivinsfan]

Well, in our house DW certainly agrees with Audreyh1. Her (DW) view is as long as DD & grandkids live in the artic north (Chicago area) and we live in the near tropics (South Fl) and only a couple miles from the beach, they will be visiting us regularly, mostly in the Dec - Feb timeframe.

Right, regular such as a nice visit during Spring break, is not the same as frequent.ie once every few months....I have 4 grandkids 1 to 6 and at this age I place value in the frequent visits and not couple of times a year even for several weeks at a time isn't what we want

 

[Meadbh]

I think if someone moves and pins their hopes on frequent visits they will be disappointed.

Very true!

 

[W2R]

I have been California dreaming most of my life. I thought about going out there when I was applying to dental school and again right after I graduated and got married but both times I chickened out. I stayed here in DC where I was born and raised mostly because my mom is mentally ill and I feel that I need to be here for her and my dad's sake. Mom and Dad are both still living. Dad is 86 and mom is 77. My sister also stayed in the area. As they age they are needing more and more help.

I have a great life here in Northern Virginia. I have a very successful practice and a great reputation in the area. I'm now semiretired working 3 days a week and still love what I do. I've raised 3 wonderful kids here- the oldest is married, has a little girl, and lives 8 minutes from us. The 2 younger ones are both at UVA. I have friends but no friendship that I would consider super close, and while I've been very involved with my church it is not something that can't be replaced. My wife currently babysits our grand daughter 2 days a week and I'm able to help share the duties a half day a week.

We just got back from So Cal and have found the spot that works for me and the DW. Finances are not a problem, so the only things hold me back are 1- giving up my extremely successful practice, and 2- leaving my family behind.

After years of working hard and planning for my retirement, I'm realizing that actually making the jump is a difficult decision to make. I'd appreciate any insight. Many thanks! BTW I'm 53.

When I have a hard time figuring out what I want most in life, I take it seriously and do quite a bit of introspection, visualization, and meditation. That really helps.

You can't make your entire family move to California with you. So, you have to decide whether you would rather be in California and live the life you would be living there, or if you would rather be where you are and living the life you can live in your present location.

Maybe you can find another location that would present a better solution. Perhaps there is a warm location within a day's drive of northern Virginia, that you would prefer. Then you could drive up and see the family whenever you wanted to do that. Lots of thinking and introspection would be my recommendation.

 

[Meadbh]

The way I see it, this is a decision based on values. We can't tell you what to do, because we all value weather and family proximity differently.

When you visit an area whose weather you like, try to imagine what it would be like to live there if your family members did not come to visit, or if you were unable to visit them for whatever reason. Try to think of the impact of travel on you, especially as you age. How will you deal with family crises? If you still place a high value on the good weather location, move there for several months and try it out.

 

[Sunnymar]

I suggest making the move, if in time you move back (for family), you will always know you did it, instead of wondering what if.
Of course, this is coming from a person who has lived in LA and Orange County all my life. I now live in Palos Verdes Peninsula but planning to move back to Orange County this year. Fortunately our children and grandchildren live nearby.
I always think, what is the worst that can happen? I might realize it was a mistake and move, certainly doable.

 

[Music Lover]

The way I see it, this is a decision based on values. We can't tell you what to do, because we all value weather and family proximity differently.

Agree 100%. I live in a place with brutal winters but value the frequent contact with my friends and family over warm weather. I can always go somewhere warm for a couple weeks if I want a break from winter, but I have no interest in moving away from 35-year old friendships and all of my family. Everyone has to make their own decision on the balance between weather and family/friends.

 

[ShokWaveRider]

We lived in SoCAL for over 15 years B4 moving to Florida. We were in the Laguna Beach Area. I am cautious as to what area you have chosen. We left simply because we went sailing for 3 years and did not want to keep the house. Then we came back from the boat and somehow landed in NE Fla. Never left since. However if California adopts a single payer health care system, we may be heading back. But find it quite expensive now compared to Florida.

 

[ivinsfan]

The way I see it, this is a decision based on values. We can't tell you what to do, because we all value weather and family proximity differently.

When you visit an area whose weather you like, try to imagine what it would be like to live there if your family members did not come to visit, or if you were unable to visit them for whatever reason. Try to think of the impact of travel on you, especially as you age. How will you deal with family crises? If you still place a high value on the good weather location, move there for several months and try it out.

Same point I was making, I will say, think it over and make your decision. If it's to relocate, move and don't feel guilty about it. We don't "owe" our adult kids or grandkids anything but love. Proximity isn't required for that.

 

[Souschef]

That's not untrue, but people's real lives always get in the way.Jobs, school. kids leagues and activities..going cross country requires a pretty good time commitment. I think if someone moves and pins their hopes on frequent visits they will be disappointed.

I agree- we live less than a half hour drive from our kids, and we see them infrequently. They have their own lives and activities.

 

[Chuckanut]

I was thinking of moving to a cheaper area with somewhat better weather. The plan was to buy a big enough home that I could have the kids/grand-kids over for many weeks every year with plenty of room for all of us. Since I currently live in a high cost housing area that would be easy to do.

After talking with the children they reminded me that they still have to work for a living and as much as they love me, there are other things they want to do with there vacation time besides visit me a few times every year. Gosh, that is how I felt when I was there age! So, I am staying where I am. It's a nice place to live except for cold dark winters and the kids are all within driving distance. Florida is going to be flooded in a decade or two anyway thanks to rising sea levels. ;-)

I think leaving ones loving family and friends to permanently live in warm area sounds great but is often a big mistake.

 

[Walt34]

I think leaving ones loving family and friends to permanently live in warm area sounds great but is often a big mistake.

It can be. I have two half-sisters that are a generation ahead of me and one of them did that with her husband, moving to FL. I think they were there ~5 years and there was a constant stream of invitations to visit but between work and other activities we never had the time for it. Few if any of her kids had the time either, they were mostly just starting working and didn't have the vacation time or money for it.

They later gave up, sold the FL place at a loss after hurricane Andrew, and moved back to northern VA.

 

[Ready]

I have always wanted to move to Hawaii, but knowing that I would be leaving all of my friends behind has caused me to hold off on making the move. It's not easy to create a new life for yourself at our age.

But I also wonder if I will regret not having done so at some point in my life. I just don't know how I will feel once I get too old to do anything about it. It's not an easy decision.

 

[Fedup]

Same point I was making, I will say, think it over and make your decision. If it's to relocate, move and don't feel guilty about it. We don't "owe" our adult kids or grandkids anything but love. Proximity isn't required for that.

I agree with you. My kids happen to be in California but if they move to Minnesota, I won't follow them. They have their own lives.

 

[Fedup]

I was thinking of moving to a cheaper area with somewhat better weather. The plan was to buy a big enough home that I could have the kids/grand-kids over for many weeks every year with plenty of room for all of us. Since I currently live in a high cost housing area that would be easy to do.

After talking with the children they reminded me that they still have to work for a living and as much as they love me, there are other things they want to do with there vacation time besides visit me a few times every year. Gosh, that is how I felt when I was there age! So, I am staying where I am. It's a nice place to live except for cold dark winters and the kids are all within driving distance. Florida is going to be flooded in a decade or two anyway thanks to rising sea levels. ;-)

I think leaving ones loving family and friends to permanently live in warm area sounds great but is often a big mistake.

When my in laws were alive, we came back to U.K. every two years for at least two weeks, mostly in the summer so the kids can see their grand parents. My husband also called his parents either weekly or biweekly.

 

[NW-Bound]

I have been California dreaming most of my life. I thought about going out there when I was applying to dental school and again right after I graduated and got married but both times I chickened out. I stayed here in DC where I was born and raised mostly because my mom is mentally ill and I feel that I need to be here for her and my dad's sake. Mom and Dad are both still living. Dad is 86 and mom is 77. My sister also stayed in the area. As they age they are needing more and more help.

I have a great life here in Northern Virginia. I have a very successful practice and a great reputation in the area. I'm now semiretired working 3 days a week and still love what I do. I've raised 3 wonderful kids here- the oldest is married, has a little girl, and lives 8 minutes from us. The 2 younger ones are both at UVA. I have friends but no friendship that I would consider super close, and while I've been very involved with my church it is not something that can't be replaced. My wife currently babysits our grand daughter 2 days a week and I'm able to help share the duties a half day a week.

We just got back from So Cal and have found the spot that works for me and the DW. Finances are not a problem, so the only things hold me back are 1- giving up my extremely successful practice, and 2- leaving my family behind.

After years of working hard and planning for my retirement, I'm realizing that actually making the jump is a difficult decision to make. I'd appreciate any insight. Many thanks! BTW I'm 53.

Don't know what to tell you.

My best friend surprised me when he bought a 2nd house in Laguna Beach, a bit south of Newport Beach, after his wife retired. Said he was tired of the winter in Silver Spring, MD, which is in the metropolitan area of DC for people who do not know.

None of his kids live at his main home anymore, so he is looking to sell it. The older ones work in other states, and the youngest one is in medical school. He said they have not settled down, and he would not move to be near any of them, just to be left behind when they move again.

He said this CA home would not be his last. He just wants to enjoy it for an indefinite period, and does not rule out moving again in the future when the occasion or need arises. I can see that it is not a hard decision for my friend to move, compared to your situation.

The weather in CA is indeed unbeatable, and a couple of my wife's siblings have moved there, also to be close to their children who now work there. But as for me, my children and we do not want to leave AZ. To us, the weather in CA also does not make up for the traffic, crowded condition, and the high cost of RE. So, no CA dreaming here for me. I go there often to visit relatives and friends, and like it better when we head back home.

 

[audreyh1]

That's not untrue, but people's real lives always get in the way.Jobs, school. kids leagues and activities..going cross country requires a pretty good time commitment. I think if someone moves and pins their hopes on frequent visits they will be disappointed.

We had a neighbor here who hardly ever got visits. Then the bought a house in Tampa - and all of a sudden they got a huge number of visits.

 

[YeahNo]

I think some of the trouble with some of these responses is people already live in amazing climate places! If you guys all lived in the frozen north like us I think you'd be singing a different tune.

 

[TrophyWife]

I grew up in Irvine when it was mostly farmland. It's a great place! I'm in South Orange County now and love it here too. Irvine has changed a lot. You will find many homes are bought and sit empty-purchased primarily for the investment by overseas investors.

I love how close we are to John Wayne Airport, Laguna Beach, Newport, Dana Point, San Clemente. If you get a chance next time you are in town, head down to Balboa Island. It's a great place to walk. Westside Costa Mesa is booming too. If you love coffee, check out Kit Coffee-so nice

I think you better buy a big house, because everyone is going to want to come visit you!

 

[Meadbh]

I live in an area with some of the best weather in Canada. It's considered a vacation paradise. Many of my friends here are besieged by visitors from March to October, to the degree where they have to cancel their social appointments, golf, etc, to deal with the guests. Many conversations focus on how to say "NO!". Sometimes it feels like they are running B&Bs.

My relatives are all much further away and don't visit. But I've had a couple of visitors from ER.org, at least passing through!