When Will Martha Retire?

[REWahoo]

Whaddya' think?

 

[retire@40]

Maybe we need to form a committee, get some proposals, and deliberate this one for a couple of years before we can make a decision.

 

[Martha]

Ack! Your teasing me. I voted June 2006.

 

[wildcat]

2007

Greg's bearish dreams become a reality. Markets dip. He worries Martha and she stays for another year.

 

[greg]

Maybe we need to form a committee, get some proposals, and deliberate this one for a couple of years before we can make a decision.

My recommendation is that Martha go into Virtual Retirement as of today. This would predominantly involve participating in retirement-type message boards while at work, on weekends, and while on vacation. This would smooth the transition to FIRE reality. It also would, of course, require large amounts of deception by message board users. Her emotions could be moderated and/or adjusted as needed by creating other virtual characters such as Apocolypse, JG, REW, and for fun HaHa. Other characters and under-the-bed monsters could be added as the agenda dictates. If this works out OK, then realer retirement could possibly begin in July.

PS: Someone should also tell her that the transition to retirement requires more chores at home (for her) and helping DH keep monsters such as healthcare, inflation, and Michael Jackson at bay. A nice, more usable, wine rack would help too.

--Greg

 

[Danny]

I vote for:
Dec 2005 - Runs off with Forum Member to Panama. Police discover Michael Jackson's body in Duluth basement.

 

[REWahoo]

So, Martha...how was work today?

 

[Martha]

So, not half bad as they say in Minnesota. Went in this morning, looked through my piles of mail and phone messages. My paralegal came in and begged me to call "x" so I did. Played telephone tag with another client. BS'd with the guys at work. Went on the net. Had lunch at the Thai place with the guys. Thought about foreclosing on a farmer. Went home.

 

[laurence]

Thought about foreclosing on a farmer.

Ack! Everything else sounded good, but I know that's a line of work I couldn't handle!

So which forum member are you running off to Panama with?

 

[sgeeeee]

So, not half bad as they say in Minnesota.  Went in this morning, looked through my piles of mail and phone messages.  My paralegal came in and begged me to call "x" so I did.  Played telephone tag with another client.  BS'd with the guys at work.  Went on the net.  Had lunch at the Thai place with the guys.  Thought about foreclosing on a farmer.  Went home. 

Except for the bs and lunch, you could have done that from home.

 

[wildcat]

So which forum member are you running off to Panama with?

Start a poll? My bet is on HaHa. Both seem to be into the communal living. Dog51 is my long shot.

 

[haha]

Start a poll?  My bet is on HaHa.  Both seem to be into the communal living.  Dog51 is my long shot. 

Hey man, I respect the sanctity of marriage. Attractive as Martha is, Greg is my Bro'.

Ha

 

[Danny]

I vote for:
Dec 2005 - Runs off with Forum Member to Panama. Police discover Michael Jackson's body in Duluth basement.

What I was saying was Martha runs off with Greg to whereever their "Panama" is , after Greg kills off his demon.

 

[greg]

What I was saying was Martha runs off with Greg to whereever their "Panama" is , after Greg kills off his demon.

Dan: I just added a new monster/demon: Ben Bernanke, Helicopter Ben. And now I'm getting really worried because ALL of them are men (well, except for Micheal Jackson). I'm just gonna go dream about wine racks and raised toilet seats for a while.

--Greg

 

[sgeeeee]

Start a poll?  My bet is on HaHa.  Both seem to be into the communal living.  Dog51 is my long shot. 

If it's not Greg, I'm bettin' on Brad Pitt. Why would she pick any of the losers on this board?

 

[Danny]

Dan: I just added a new monster/demon: Ben Bernanke, Helicopter Ben. And now I'm getting really worried because ALL of them are men (well, except for Micheal Jackson). I'm just gonna go dream about wine racks and raised toilet seats for a while.

--Greg

Raise up thy toilet seat

 

[Martha]

Raise up thy toilet seat

Oh, F me, that is the funniest post I have seen in a long time. Beats the T & A you guys have posted lately.

 

[Dawg52]

Beats the T & A you guys have posted lately. 

Surely you gest. 

 

[Martha]

Don't call me Surely.

 

[REWahoo]

Don't call me Surely.

OK. But you have to admit your beau gestes...

 

[laurence]

Raise up thy toilet seat

Is that JG talking about his 2nd amendment rights again?

 

[Dawg52]

Hey Martha, Miers pulled her name from the supreme court nomination. Interested? This might make a good polling question. 

 

[BigMoneyJim]

A nice, more usable, wine rack would help too.

On my screen the line break was between "wine" and "rack", and I failed to read "wine" the first time through. For a moment there thought were were getting TMI again.

Hey man, I respect the sanctity of marriage. Attractive as Martha is, Greg is my Bro'.

We have pictures of Martha? I recall a leg or foot once...or is that enough for you?

Hey Martha, Miers pulled her name from the supreme court nomination. Interested?

That's not retiring. And we couldn't glean legal insight (never advice, mind you) from her if she took that job. I doubt the surpremes would post their observations on internet forums.

 

[HFWR]

We have pictures of Martha? I recall a leg or foot once...or is that enough for you?

Only if wearing tennis shoes, or the occasional python boot...

FZ

 

[greg]

So, here's my/our (as yet unnegotiated with the DW) retirement plan for after our two year around the US/world fling:

1) We buy a big piece of land in Iowa and open a commune. Martha and I vote to make her President and Supreme Ruler. It's a tie vote, but I win because I'm bigger than her (by weight, especially around the lips).

2) All board members who have lost money because they were invested in Index funds are allowed to join. People who didn't lose money in "the crash of 2006" are especially welcome. DW and I will contribute 2 ATVs and a snowblower. Others must contribute one unemployed child to the commune pot. We will raise goats, corn, vegetables and grapes. Family units will participate in communal cooking obligations, unless they are voted to "outhouse detail."

3) We will run a non-electronic message board: This means when you have something to say you must walk or run over to the communal meal room and post it on paper towels or a blackboard. Moderators are required to transfer everything from this general board to rolls of toilet paper (threads). (Older thread rolls can can be multi-functional by vote, or moderators can just do whatever they want with "selected" squares--I suggest cut and paste .)

4) On Saturdays, all work not completed during the week will be done by "the Saturday nite drinking crowd." They will receive all the wine they can drink in one evening if they complete chores not completed by others. Others will receive one glass--maybe, but especially if they're female. If this works well, Tuesdays and Thursdays could also be made into drinking nites. But if done more than three nites/week, one nite must be reserved for AA meetings or naps.

5) On Sunday mornings, the men gather together to discuss "Truth." Or, if they can't handle The Truth, then politics and religion. From this so called 'truth,' the women shall derive how the commune is run--as they see fit. This separation of powers is critical to a well functioning commune.

6) This new/old-age commune shall be called called ANIMAL BEAST FARM. Uncle Mick will be required to build the septic, and Dan must keep everyone informed on sports highlites. JG will provide irritations. I will provide small motor thingies for the boys to play with when they're not solving all of life's problems. Life could be sooooo good.

--Greg