Why are you frugal?

[Calico]

My parents were immigrants and had the "long term" attitude present in so many immigrants to the U.S. Frugality was part of that attitude. I learned from them not only how to be frugal, but to be frugal with contentment.

Upon reflection, some of their lessons, both verbally but especially by actions ("more is caught than taught") stood out:

- Frugality gave important skills. Our parents taught all of their children how to cook, how to sew, how to wash clothing, how to make basic auto/household repairs, how to negotiate, etc. Many of those skills paid off for us beyond just frugality.

-Frugality gave patience with a purpose. My parents attitude was "be frugal now so that you can have something in the future". The idea was to have a goal that your frugality would be addressing. With a goal, you did not care about what others thought about your frugality, as you were trying to achieve something.Perhaps that is one difference between being "cheap' and being "frugal".

- Frugality allows you to better control things, and less outside forces control you. This is in terms of what you need vs. what you want. Ones wants can easily be more driven by the outside influence of what others have. With frugality it can be less so.

- Frugality did not mean you could not help others less fortunate. One of my parents favorite sayings was "I was unhappy because I had no shoes, until I met someone who had no feet". Even though we did not have much, they were still doing something to help those less fortunate. It helped me realize, even when being frugal, how blessed I still was.

Your parents sound like absolute treasures!

 

[RobbieB]

Yeah, cooking. I spent a lot of time watching and helping my Ma. Pops taught me mechanical stuff, but Ma did the cooking. She was good too.

I worked with a woman (last job I retired from) who excitedly told me that she cooked her first food yesterday. That kinda surprised me as she was 23. She made pancakes.

I made pancakes when I was 9. Made the batter cooked a batch and ate it standing up at the stove while I cooked the second batch. Yum.

 

[mystang52]

Dad was a loving father but terrible at personal finances, so I learned -in principle - what not to do. But it took a couple of life changing events before I figured it out:
1) DW was stay at home Mom after our first child, and money was tight. One day in the mail I got an unexpectedly large credit card bill (even then I paid in full every month) along with one or 2 other surprise bills and my mortgage was due. That forced me to put together a budget to ensure no more surprises.
2) Perhaps at the same time, I "woke up" and realized we paid our bills each month but had zero savings. I signed up for US Savings Bond payroll withdrawal....at $6.25 per biweekly check. Within a couple of months that amount increased to $50 as I realized I wasn't missing the money.
Voila, the pay-yourself-first miracle was discovered. 401K contributions followed.
3) I read "The Wealthy Barber." It changed my whole perspective on balancing out the needs of saving for the future and enjoying life in the present.

 

[dixonge]

I grew up in a weird household. My dad grew up on a farm but generally had 'enough' money, my mom grew up picking cotton and evading an alcoholic father. She was the first in a wide circle of family to make it to college. They met there. He became a pastor, she was a teacher.

I grew up in parsonages. When your income is derived from the benificence of parishioners, all of whom have higher incomes, it does something to you. So they began buying things on store credit to furnish our home and keep up appearances. Their debt levels rarely wavered, even after my brother and I left home. When my father was 80 and still working part-time his church paid off his remaining debt as a severance package, which allowed him to actually *afford* to retire.

No, I did not learn frugality from them, nor from my first wife. My second and final wife though, she pinches pennies until they squeal. It took awhile, but her frugal ways finally rubbed off on me. Still, we spent more than we should have for many years. Then we found out about ER and *everything* changed. We're now many years into a happily, fully frugal life.

 

[FIREd]

I come from a rural background where nothing was ever allowed to go to waste. My role models were my very thrifty grandparents who lived through the great depression and World War II. They did the "zero waste" thing way before millennials made it cool again. So I definitely have the thrifty gene. But, I also know that I wasn't always frugal throughout my life. My thriftiness is usually proportional to my happiness. At the moment, I am very happy and very frugal. But the opposite has also been true in the past.

 

[Markola]

Ha, Yeah, my zero-waste grandparents in the country composted but also had a burn barrel. Millennials, please leave those in the past. [emoji91]

 

[travelover]

One of the biggest stressors for me as a young adult with no money was driving unreliable cars. Never knowing if I was going to be stranded on the side of the road or going to have a surprise extra bill. Or the days I had just enough money to put in gas to hopefully make it to work. A horrible feeling.

Good point and how many people live more or less permanently in our society - one car break down away from losing their job, their apartment and their health care insurance. No wonder many show signs of PTSD.

 

[kcowan]

...My second and final wife though, she pinches pennies until they squeal. It took awhile, but her frugal ways finally rubbed off on me. Still, we spent more than we should have for many years. Then we found out about ER and *everything* changed. We're now many years into a happily, fully frugal life.

My mother was like your "final" wife. She did it by necessity and managed by fathers single income to raise two kids, have a nice home and a cottage. So it is in my genes but I have risen above it in many areas.

For example, when fitting out our new condo, I did not even want to know the costs were of things that my final wife purchased. As a result, she is extremely happy living here. And so am I!

 

[retired1]

Only dad worked to support family. Saw family struggle financially and that sowed the seeds of frugality from younger age. After getting education and good paying jobs, splurging seemed to be a waste when similar needs were satisfied with frugal means. Savings became way of life.

 

[brucethebroker]

Well stated. Much like my own story.

 

[Bir48die]

Studying my dad. He built much of our family's first house, two truck campers, five boats, countless furniture. Rebuilt a complete '56 Chev engine by reading the book. Twice had recreational property, built bunk cabins for lake place and shed for beach place. Always found awesome property and put a crappy trailer on it but always found a diamond in the rough. Bought used cars. Mom worked PT as soon as I was in grade school. Saved like crazy.

I don't have the skills he had in carpentry but had other skills plus spent a lot more time with my family than he did. After he died I would clip their "coupon" for their bonds and he was getting 8% and 10% tax free. One went the term and one made it within two years. Incredible.

I don't think he ever made much over $50k but had >$1.0 mm when he died.

 

[finnski1]

Studying my dad. He built much of our family's first house, two truck campers, five boats, countless furniture. Rebuilt a complete '56 Chev engine by reading the book. Twice had recreational property, built bunk cabins for lake place and shed for beach place. Always found awesome property and put a crappy trailer on it but always found a diamond in the rough. Bought used cars. Mom worked PT as soon as I was in grade school. Saved like crazy.

I don't have the skills he had in carpentry but had other skills plus spent a lot more time with my family than he did. After he died I would clip their "coupon" for their bonds and he was getting 8% and 10% tax free. One went the term and one made it within two years. Incredible.

I don't think he ever made much over $50k but had >$1.0 mm when he died.

This is a great story. Lots to be said for DIY and resourcefulness.

 

[Kwirk]

I'm not especially frugal but I am lazy and contrary. I don't like stuff that I need to maintain (boats, houses, extra cars, rooms,...) and I don't like accepting others' ideas about what will make me happy. I do miss restaurants.

 

[kgtest]

Yeah, cooking. I spent a lot of time watching and helping my Ma. Pops taught me mechanical stuff, but Ma did the cooking. She was good too.

I worked with a woman (last job I retired from) who excitedly told me that she cooked her first food yesterday. That kinda surprised me as she was 23. She made pancakes.

I made pancakes when I was 9. Made the batter cooked a batch and ate it standing up at the stove while I cooked the second batch. Yum.

Lol my son is 5 and he can make eggs and oatmeal.

 

[Nemo2]

I made pancakes when I was 9. Made the batter cooked a batch and ate it standing up at the stove while I cooked the second batch. Yum.

Lol my son is 5 and he can make eggs and oatmeal.

I'm almost 78....."What's an egg?"

 

[StephieJean]

Were you born that way? Did you teach yourself? Did you do it to overcome mistakes or to achieve a goal? Who were your frugal role models?

I had frugal role models. We also grew up poor, so frugality was part of life. Now, it is a habit; however, we still live life, see the world, we just try to reduce our impact on the world and on our health. Home cooking is healthier than buying packaged, or eating in restaurants. We are mainly plant based, but do eat some meat, but we prepare our own meals, perform our own home or car repairs. We will call professionals before we ruin our home or car. LOL We take care of our lawn, and over all, our frugal lifestyle does not FEEL at all "less than". WE are fulfilled.

 

[golfnut]

I tend to be frugal (my wife would more than agree). Both my parents came from Ireland and both were dirt poor growing up on farms. they came from the school of hard knocks. Growing up, my father worked for the city of chicago as a stationary engineer (he went to school in Ireland for a total of 8 years) and my mother worked pt as a crossing guard.



They made sure there was good food on the table and that my brother and I went to highly rated catholic grammar/high schools. My dad always bought used cars. While we celebrated Christmas like everyone else, I remember us not getting many toys compared to our friends.



Anyhoo, an apple does not fall far from the tree. My inherited frugal ways paved the path for me to retire at 55. Like the old man, I still rag about leaving lights on and the heating bill - the old man would be proud of me.

 

[Dog]

I was born into poverty in a Pennsylvania coal miner family. The mines closed shortly after I was born and Dad joined the Navy and fought in WWII as he could not find work in Pittston Pa. Mom and I lived with her mother in a "coal company" house for three years with no heat other than a kitchen coal stove and we had an outhouse for a toilet. Grandma raised chickens in the backyard. I guess I ate a lot of chicken early on!



When Dad returned from the war in 1946, we moved to Connecticut where Dad could find work. We got qualified to move into a "slum" housing project when my sister came along (needed two kids minimum to qualify for the housing project).



Dad was an alcoholic and Mom turned into one. They separated when I was 15 and Mom moved back to Pa to live with Grandma. She took my sister along. I lived with Dad in a rundown flat as we got booted from the housing project.



Frugal? We didn't have any money except to pay rent and buy food.



At 17 years old and just out of high school (1961), I left this mess behind and went to live on my own. I got a job, bought a $50 car, lived with a school friend, and made it pretty well until Uncle Sam called me for an extended vacation in South East Asia at age 20.



Going into the military was the best thing that had happened to me as I got to see and spend time with successful people ("successful" meaning many came from normal families and had resources to get educated, etc). I quickly realized that I needed a college education to get ahead. After the military, the G.I. Bill helped me go to college (paid me $222/month) and I worked part time to pay the rest. The rest was history and I earned an Mechanical Engineering degree and later an MBA in finance.



I guess I never had a spending problem (being non-frugal) when it came to what to do with money, since I/we never had much of it. So being frugal became ingrained into my lifestyle. Now, DW?....Well, let's not go there....LOL!

My Dad was from Alison Park, Pa and had a very similar story other then joining the military by choice. By my high school years, he had made it to the official middle class.

 

[michelek]

When we were first marrried we realized we would never FIRE unless we make sacrifices and worked smartly. At that time Money magazine was a large part of our education. We didn’t have role models. We just both knew that we wanted to be “a self made man and woman” We never tried to live up to our peers who were buying new cars and big houses right out of college. We worked two or three jobs at a time for many years. We didn’t have fat salaries but now after years of frugality and real estate investing we can say we are independently wealthy. It’s a nice feeling.

 

[davebarnes]

I am not.
We are not.
The models say that our daughter will inherit between $100K and $12M

 

[kcowan]

I'm almost 78....."What's an egg?"

It is my goto meal of choice. Along with smoked meat sandwiches...

Planning to learn online "when I have the time"!

 

[pb4uski]

Why are we frugal?

For us, its in our genes.

For me, on DF's side DGF's family farm struggled through the Depression and DGF went bankrupt but made a great comeback building a construction business the DU still runs. DF never graduated from HS but did graduate from the school of hard knocks and went on to a successful career selling heavy construction equipment.

DGM on DM's side immigrated to the US from Spain when she was 4 years old and quit school in the 6th grade to work because the family needed the money. She was widowed in the early-1940s with 4 mouths to feed but through grit and determination made ends meet as a low earner... my aunt likes to say that they lived well enough that she never realized that they were poor until she was in her late teens. When DGM passed we found a whole kitchen drawer with the zip lock bags that you get when you buy cold cuts at some grocery stores... all clean and neatly folded... why pay for zip-lock bags when the deli at the grocery store gives them to you for free?

DW was similar story... her dad died in a plane crash when she was 13 so money was tight for her family of 8 with 7 kids.

 

[kcowan]

I also follow the advice that "what anyone else thinks of you is none of your business!"

 

[jollystomper]

Your parents sound like absolute treasures!

Thank you! They were... though in truth I did not fully appreciate it until I went away to college and started living on my own. Then I truly saw the benefit of what they were trying to teach me.

 

[Calico]

Thank you! They were... though in truth I did not fully appreciate it until I went away to college and started living on my own. Then I truly saw the benefit of what they were trying to teach me.

I can think of very few people who appreciated the efforts their parents made (or the intangible gifts they imparted) at the time. It was only later that it dawned on them.