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Old 11-04-2018, 02:30 PM   #41
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Old 11-04-2018, 02:33 PM   #42
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I read the article and thought there was quite a lot of 'slosh' in there of "I deserve this because of my stress...

But, as stated at the beginning, they haven't learned the lesson of satiation....
Yes, their spending is high because of peer pressure, and also because of stress. They work hard, and think that they have to reward themselves to justify all that stress. That way, they feel the hard work is "worth it", but it turns out that it is not true.

I am nowhere near their situation, but back when I was still working I spent more than I do now. Since retirement, I have not cared to "blow the dough" on anything much. I have collected enough toys to play with, and I do not need the latest toys. I have time to pursue interests that keep me busy and happy, and these do not have to involve lots of money.
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Old 11-04-2018, 02:44 PM   #43
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While I grew up on Long Island (Nassau County, just east of NYC's Queens County), I went to college at NYU in Greenwich Village in the early 1980s. I lived in a dorm for 4 years, without a car, of course, and used the subway and walking to get around. It was quite a change from living on LI my first 18 years. It was a cultural awakening.


After college, I continued living in the same area when I began my first and only full-time job after graduation. The office was in lower Manhattan, so I had a pretty quick and easy commute, a 15-20 minute ride on the subway. But I didn't like feeling so hemmed in, so I moved back to LI a year later so I could own a car and enjoy some more mobility. No way I could own a car and live in Manhattan.


In the last 30+ years, I have rarely driven in Manhattan. Brooklyn and Queens are enough of a PITA, I often drive my ladyfriend to LaGuardia Airport, about 25-30 minutes away. The last time I drove in Manhattan was in 2005, driving on the Harlem River Drive between the Triboro and George Washington Bridges.


The only thing worse than driving in Manhattan (or Brooklyn or Queens, for that matter), is trying to find a parking spot on the street.
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Old 11-04-2018, 04:43 PM   #44
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I read the article and thought there was quite a lot of 'slosh' in there of "I deserve this because of my stress. Two cars in Manhattan, one of them a Porsche to drive Dad to the country club to play golf...uhhhh...OK...cut that out. $24K budget for clothing....uhhh...OK. that could probably be halved or cut by 25%. Exotic vacations - the costs for those could be managed with the airline points and credit card offers. Private school for kids....hmmm...perhaps a private tutor might be cheaper or Dad could do some home-schooling. Hope to get into Yale so have bought into the "gotta donate to alma mater" guilt trip. The price just to go to Yale is very high, so I wouldn't be adding to that. Eating out like they do and Grub Hub...it would probably be cheaper to hire a 'personal chef' to make a whole lot of meals they could freeze...or Dad could learn to cook while at home and do that himself saving money. Weekends at the Hamptons - minimize those and perhaps use some of the local parks and other amenities of Manhattan - they could even use public transportation ! :-O Going to a therapist for guilt - OK....how about writing 2500 or 500 words a day - you would have your novel in a year or so...a bit of discipline and a sense of accomplishment and contribution (especially if you home school and or cook for the family) and possibly the therapy wouldn't be necessary. Gym memberships, etc., could do other types of exercise that are free (running, buy a set of weights, meetup groups for workouts, etc). Other entertainment - read books, go to free museum days, rent out or checkout movies from library, have a small garden, etc, etc.

They could truly save a lot more and get out of the rat race early as they have a wonderful opportunity to accelerate to FI. And, they could still possibly enable their children to get into Yale or some other such school.....

But, as stated at the beginning, they haven't learned the lesson of satiation....
This is partly why the article didnít ring true for me. If sheís really in that role for sure theyíre vacationing on points. And I donít understand the 3 vacations plus a Hamptons house for the summeróthatís not what their budget says. One of many holes. No gift budget, 10k/yr for all home expenses, etc... there for sure is stuff missing.

And I donít think itís as much about satiation but I do agree sheís adding all these crazy vacations, etc as a way to relax from the stress, but in reality they probably contribute to stress. Sheís getting something from that job and itís not just money...itís an ego trip and a rush.


An earlier poster suggested the pressure to spend is coming from top down. Iíd argue itís horizontal. Almost every one of my colleagues spends on this scale (right down to the *exact same* Range Roveróitís like a uniform) and itís not driven by our boss. He encouraged me to buy a modest house that I could have paid off in a few years and has been very focused on FI for his family, though at this point heís far beyond that.

We used to live in an area where many of our neighbors spent like thisóI remember talking with DH about not understanding how they could all drive Teslas and be vacationing at 5 star resorts all the time when it felt like we were struggling on very good salaries and a minimal mortgage. 7 years later, weíre FI and moved to a more grounded place where the spend isnít so excessive. We can pull the plug whenever we want and I no longer have that stressful lifestyle. Iím working now on my terms and itís awesome. Iíll admit that when I do travel for work, I get a little bit of the Ďfeeling importantí rush, but itís short lived when I realize how exhausting the travel is and start missing the kids. All about priorities and perspective in life...
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article: When Earning a Million a year is Not Enough
Old 11-04-2018, 05:06 PM   #45
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article: When Earning a Million a year is Not Enough

Guys, guys, guys. Sam Dogen (blog- Financial Samauri) published this article the same week that "Crazy Rich Asians" was released several months ago. I don't believe that Rachel and Colin exist. Sam is Asian (Amercican) and I believe that the article was total satire, based on the fictitious ultra rich lives of the wealthy portrayed in the movie. He is a smart MBA guy who retired a number of years ago at a young age after working his tail off in the finance world first in NYC and then San Francisco. He writes very entertaining pieces with a big emphasis the finances of high earners, such as he and his wife. I do like his blog though. He has a good writer's voice and shares his considerable knowledge about the finance world.


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Old 11-04-2018, 07:10 PM   #46
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More or less, if you're just looking at Manhattan.

But the whole of NYC is over 300 square miles, just in land area.

Yes, but many people keep talking about them living in Manhattan and someone mentioned about it being a bunch of individual areas...


BTW, even at 300 sq miles it is about half of Houston which is just under 600... then again, I do not go to the south part of Houston unless I have to....



WOW.... just looked up the Houston metro area and it is over 10,000 sq miles.... not sure about NYC... I see number in the 6K range up to 13K...
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Old 11-05-2018, 08:04 AM   #47
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I can't imagine having to live in NYC. The last time I was there was ~1983 or so driving through NYC with the ex on the way to Boston where most of her family was. I didn't leave anything there so no reason to go back.

Well, I want to go. I enjoy my city trips. Iíve been through New York City twice, once by car and once by train. Both times I was able to see some landmarks but I was mostly on the other side of Manhattan. I really enjoy seeing and experiencing things that are completely foreign to me.
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Old 11-05-2018, 06:23 PM   #48
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Well, I want to go. I enjoy my city trips. Iíve been through New York City twice, once by car and once by train.
Oh, don't misunderstand, I wasn't trying to imply that anyone who wants to live in/visit NYC shouldn't. Simply pointing out that I am not one of them.
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Old 11-05-2018, 06:49 PM   #49
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Plus one needs a car to get to the Hamptons on the weekend.
The train works fine, but getting between your beach house and the markets would be a pain in that case.

edit: Actually I have to add, our next door neighbors for a while would sometimes arrive by helicopter... same trouble getting to and from the markets though...
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Old 11-05-2018, 07:18 PM   #50
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I've never worked hard, but then I've never been in the 6 figure club let alone the 7 figure.
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