Moral/ethical dilemma here: DH pays child support for 4 year old twins. He made a bad agreement at the time of his divorce from their mother and has been honoring that agreement for 2 years. He is paying support as though he barely sees his kids ($1800/mo) however he has them routinely more than what is documented in the agreement. Not an extra night here and there, but about a solid week straight every month- has been this way since their divorce was finalized in 2016. His ex cannot say that it is due to her job -she has retired from active duty where she traveled and started a new career where she travels just as much. She has always made more money than DH and due to the lack of communication between all of us we do not know what she makes now. I can speculate that her pension is $70k/year and she is likely earning 6 figures at her new gig.
We have met with an attorney and we know what MD law is regarding support and visitation and legal custody (DH has joint legal custody but she has sole physical). Under MD law since there is a material change in the kids going to school (starting kindergarten next year) and we can show that for the past 2 years DH has had the kids more than 129 overnights (35% of the time) we are eligible to apply for modified custody/visitation and subsequently lower support payments. His ex is not the least bit interested in what the law has to say and will be fighting us until a judgment is reached in court.
We are willing, ready, and able to begin the legal proceedings while DH is still gainfully employed earning a six figure income. This means that he will pay more because the support calculation will be done with his current pay. He and I believe this is only right to show what he could/should contribute to raising the kids. He retires from the military next fall. And we both acknowledge that this amount, even when lowered, is going to hinder our ability to fully retire early. I am budgeting for it and preparing myself for the war that is about to start with the ex.
Not sure if this matters but he is also transferring his GI Bill to the kids so they get 2 years each paid and contributing $400 to a 529 plan- on top of the support payments. I would like to propose that he stop the 529 plan once he retires because the kids will have their college mostly funded through his GI Bill transfer.
I guess I'm asking whether this will all be worth it... has anyone gone through something similar? Our legal fees will probably land somewhere in the $10k area (lower end estimate) and we're cash flowing the entire thing.
We have met with an attorney and we know what MD law is regarding support and visitation and legal custody (DH has joint legal custody but she has sole physical). Under MD law since there is a material change in the kids going to school (starting kindergarten next year) and we can show that for the past 2 years DH has had the kids more than 129 overnights (35% of the time) we are eligible to apply for modified custody/visitation and subsequently lower support payments. His ex is not the least bit interested in what the law has to say and will be fighting us until a judgment is reached in court.
We are willing, ready, and able to begin the legal proceedings while DH is still gainfully employed earning a six figure income. This means that he will pay more because the support calculation will be done with his current pay. He and I believe this is only right to show what he could/should contribute to raising the kids. He retires from the military next fall. And we both acknowledge that this amount, even when lowered, is going to hinder our ability to fully retire early. I am budgeting for it and preparing myself for the war that is about to start with the ex.
Not sure if this matters but he is also transferring his GI Bill to the kids so they get 2 years each paid and contributing $400 to a 529 plan- on top of the support payments. I would like to propose that he stop the 529 plan once he retires because the kids will have their college mostly funded through his GI Bill transfer.
I guess I'm asking whether this will all be worth it... has anyone gone through something similar? Our legal fees will probably land somewhere in the $10k area (lower end estimate) and we're cash flowing the entire thing.
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