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Old 06-02-2010, 11:05 AM   #21
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Al and Tipper Gore separating after 40 years, that's very surprising. We may never know for sure the reason why. Seems like mostly, they just drifted apart.

I keep thinking maybe it's because Al wants to conserve energy and Tipper leaves all the lights on in the house. Something like that going on for 40 years might have just been too much. Or maybe Al always squeezed the tootpaste in the middle, for 40 years. Or maybe they have philosophical differences on how to stack the dishwasher and just couldn't come to a compromise. All understandable reasons to say enough is enough

Al and Tipper Gore Separate: Why Some Long Marriages End - TIME

Who would have thunk a few years back, the Clintons would have the most stable marriage rather than the Gores or Edwards'? (that is, if you use staying married as the sole definition of stable).
The Clinton marriage is one of convenience..........Bill "conveniently" forgets to be faithful, and Hillary "conveniently" forgets that Bill is unfaithful..........
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Old 06-02-2010, 11:35 AM   #22
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Let's bring this back to ER since perhaps that explains the Al-Tipper breakup

What do you or your spouse do in ER that makes them nuts and threaten to leave you (or worse) that was ok while you or spouse was working?

We used to do a full check on financials about every quarter. Now I'm checking every week
Makes DW nuts since we dont actually change anything. She compares it to getting our hosue reappraised
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Old 06-02-2010, 11:49 AM   #23
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36 years for DH and I this December. Hope that 40 year itch thing ain't true.
I thought the 40 year itch thing was about a person's age and not the number of years they've been married...

I've heard about the 7 year itch for married couples. Hmmm, for me that was 26 years ago...
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Old 06-02-2010, 12:13 PM   #24
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Hmmm. Three years past the 40 year mark...still going strong! Been together basically 24/7 since ER in '96. We feel like dinosaurs when the subject of marriage comes up among friends. Wonder how many people in ER are still with their original spouse...or at least with the spouse who helped with being able to ER?
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Old 06-02-2010, 12:28 PM   #25
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Hmmm. Three years past the 40 year mark...still going strong! Been together basically 24/7 since ER in '96. We feel like dinosaurs when the subject of marriage comes up among friends. Wonder how many people in ER are still with their original spouse...or at least with the spouse who helped with being able to ER?
My casual idea judging from what is reported on this board is that very many are still with their mate of most of their life. I am not sure that reporting is absolutely accurate though.

ER itself and our children growing up is what bombed my marriage. My wife wasn't too keen on self impoosed spending limits as her friends spent more while having less. This fact can be interpreted variously, and she interpreted it one way and I another.
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Old 06-02-2010, 01:10 PM   #26
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An affair was good for my marriage - it was the trigger to end it thus making my life much happier and considerably more solvent early enuf to recover from!
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Old 06-02-2010, 01:26 PM   #27
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IMO, the first 20 years of marriage is full of keeping the house in order, working, raising kids (or not), and some couples are too tired to do a lot of contemplating. When both are retired and find just the two of them together in retirement...that can be a whole 'nuther ball of wax.

It can be interesting and hopefully for most rewarding.
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Old 06-02-2010, 01:54 PM   #28
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My first wife died in 1997. I married again in 2004. I ERed in April 2005. She has 13 years worth of work yet....She appears not to be envious of my priviliged stauts...... I wouldn´t think of an affair on my part, despite my being alone most of the day. She is very attractive-She is the one that could have a fling....
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Old 06-02-2010, 01:56 PM   #29
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IMO, the first 20 years of marriage is full of keeping the house in order, working, raising kids (or not), and some couples are too tired to do a lot of contemplating. When both are retired and find just the two of them together in retirement...that can be a whole 'nuther ball of wax.

It can be interesting and hopefully for most rewarding.
My opinion is that sometimes you have to renegotiate.

Both my sister and an aunt got divorced after their husbands retired from the USN.
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Old 06-02-2010, 02:08 PM   #30
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An affair was good for my marriage - it was the trigger to end it thus making my life much happier and considerably more solvent early enuf to recover from!
The affair was clearly good for you as you ended up much happier! But you have not convinced me it was good for your marriage!

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Old 06-02-2010, 03:47 PM   #31
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My opinion is that sometimes you have to renegotiate.
Absolutely.
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Old 06-02-2010, 07:23 PM   #32
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I don't believe there's no other party involved; time will tell.

DH and I will be married 40 years in November. In my wildest dreams, I can't imagine separating; we've been through too much. Also, now is the best time of our lives!
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Old 06-02-2010, 08:42 PM   #33
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The STD's are going up in the west palm beach area among the "older" crowd
oh we still have to use protection you know
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Old 06-02-2010, 11:05 PM   #34
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Another interesting analysis of Al and Tipper's breakup:

Why call it quits after decades of marriage? - CNN.com

Of course, human nature, when someone in the public eye says they just want to keep in private and leave us hanging, speculations and rumors start. Especially most marriages just don't end after 40 years.
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Old 06-03-2010, 01:33 AM   #35
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People worry about ER failing because there is, say, a 5% chance of portfolio failure and they might have to reduce their standard of living.

But about 39% of USA marriages currently end in divorce. This is often the elephant in the room for ER risk that you don't see mentioned so much.

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Old 06-03-2010, 03:31 PM   #36
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I don't think it was an affair but just the growing apart that sometimes happens and suddenly you realize if you are going to make a break it's now or never since you see your friends die off around you . More seducing to an older woman is time alone rather than another bed mate .
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Old 06-03-2010, 05:27 PM   #37
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More seducing to an older woman is time alone rather than another bed mate .
That is so thrilling for a man to read. "Honey, if I had a fire you'd be the guapo to light it, but the fuel is all spent."
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Old 06-03-2010, 10:39 PM   #38
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People worry about ER failing because there is, say, a 5% chance of portfolio failure and they might have to reduce their standard of living.

But about 39% of USA marriages currently end in divorce. This is often the elephant in the room for ER risk that you don't see mentioned so much.

Kramer
I don't know about that. I've read many lists of "rules" for early retirement. Almost without exception, rule number one is "don't get married. If you are married, stay married".
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Old 06-03-2010, 10:49 PM   #39
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The best financial advice I've learned from this forum is if you marry, marry someone who shares the same values about money as you.
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Old 06-04-2010, 11:53 AM   #40
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In my case money, was not a factor and she did like to live high when she worked.

But after ER, she has become amazingly frugal. And she is one of the most logical women I have had the pleasure of meeting.
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