IMO, the first 20 years of marriage is full of keeping the house in order, working, raising kids (or not), and some couples are too tired to do a lot of contemplating. When both are retired and find just the two of them together in retirement...that can be a whole 'nuther ball of wax.
It can be interesting and hopefully for most rewarding.
The affair was clearly good for you as you ended up much happier! But you have not convinced me it was good for your marriage!An affair was good for my marriage - it was the trigger to end it thus making my life much happier and considerably more solvent early enuf to recover from!
Absolutely.My opinion is that sometimes you have to renegotiate.
More seducing to an older woman is time alone rather than another bed mate .
People worry about ER failing because there is, say, a 5% chance of portfolio failure and they might have to reduce their standard of living.
But about 39% of USA marriages currently end in divorce. This is often the elephant in the room for ER risk that you don't see mentioned so much.
Kramer