Creative ways of dealing with crazy neighbors

[Nuiloa]

I've got a neighbor who drives me nuts. My designated parking spot is directly in front of her living room window, so she sees me come and go on a daily basis. Except on very rare occasions, she has to greet me whenever I set foot outside my apartment or arrive home by car. Then she has to tell me all about her latest complaint about the neighbors, or her health or gossip about people I neither know nor care about.

She must think I'm some kind of food addict because several times a week I'll run past her with the excuse that I have ice cream or frozen food in my bag and I have to get it to the freezer before it melts.

If I don't go to work by a certain time each day, she calls me to find out if I'm sick. I wouldn't dare tell her what I'm doing because then everyone in the complex would know.

I can't use a different entrance because they involve dozens of stairs (bad knees) and, anyhow, she can see my car so she knows I'm coming in.


When I retire in a few months, I don't know how I'll face the full brunt of her on a daily basis and I can only buy so much ice cream.

Does any one else deal with crazy neighbors?

 

[Sarah in SC]

Oh, if only Cute Fuzzy Bunny were still around. But T-Al can tell you about his 'grower neighbors' which were equally entertaining.

I would be driven crazy by someone like that, too! What about pretending to be on the phone every time you come and go? Or wearing earphones and say you are in the middle of a language study program so you can't be disturbed? That way you could shout out random irregular Spanish verbs and suddenly be the crazier neighbor SHE avoids.

 

[Webzter]

Outcomplain her; interrupt her to one-up her stories; make up outlandish fabrications to spread around the complex; spend hours talking about the most mundane, inane things you can think of (maybe develop a passion for documentaries on things like string collecting... don't need to watch 'em, just pretend they exist and talk about 'em); have her over for lunch but somehow ensure gastronomical distress.

 

[REWahoo]

This isn't a problem neighbor, it is an answer to "what will I do all day?" when retired.

The opportunity for entertainment is limited only by your imagination.

Buy a few cheap Halloween masks and don one on the way too/from your car. If the neighbor dares ask you what's up, just stare at her without saying a word and continue walking.

Get a large blow up doll (your choice of sex), hug it closely by your side and carry on a conversation with your vinyl friend as you walk.

Plug in your iPod earphones (iPod optional) and sing the Major-General's song from "The Pirates of Penzance" at the top of your lungs.

Repeat as needed...

 

[kumquat]

Tell her "I can't stop to talk. The voices command me to go home and clean my guns".

 

[Texas Proud]

OR.....


You can be brutally honest and say "I am not interested in idle chatter all day and ask that you do not bother me"...


This will make you her talking point for a long time, but who cares...

 

[veremchuka]

Sounds like a horror show. All I can suggest is what I'd do - just ignore her and walk into your place like she is not there. When she calls hang up. Sooner or later the point will be made, if you feed a hungry cat it will never leave. Good luck!

 

[devans0]

People like your neighbor are needy for attention and social outlets. For my own mental attitude, I try to keep some things I am grateful for in mind, remind them of that early in the conversation, and move on when the gossip/complaining starts. My mother was one of these souls. It reminds me to keep a balance in my own life as I approach retirement.

 

[MasterBlaster]

Tell your neighbor about the benefits of Amway and see how long they want to keep talking to you.

Either that or invite them down to the Taliban meeting.

 

[freebird5825]

OR.....

You can be brutally honest and say "I am not interested in idle chatter all day and ask that you do not bother me"...

This will make you her talking point for a long time, but who cares...

DING DING DING we have a winner.

When Mr B and I go to the Legion every Friday night, there is a woman who does this to EVERYBODY. The mindless drivel that comes out of her mouth is astounding.
One night she actually had the nerve to reach over and rub Mr B's stomach and proclaim that he looked like Buddha. He is partly bald.
He was shocked. I was p*ssed. I told her, as calmly as I could, that was the rudest thing I ever heard someone say and that she owed him an apology. I stared directly at her, eye to eye.
She made a face, walked away and hasn't bothered us since.

Sometimes you just have to be brutally direct with people like this.

 

[flyfishnevada]

While the playing games might be entertaining and confronting her may seems harsh, but confronting her is the only way to go. Besides, what if she is only encouraged by your outlandish stories or games?

 

[Nuiloa]

While the playing games might be entertaining and confronting her may seems harsh, but confronting her is the only way to go. Besides, what if she is only encouraged by your outlandish stories or games?

I've tried telling her I can't talk to her, or just ignoring her. It doesn't seem to work. She's in her late 70s, she's lonely and she sits in the lobby all day long talking to people.

I like the Amway thing though.... that might work.

Nui

 

[Nords]

The opportunity for entertainment is limited only by your imagination.
Repeat as needed...

Sounds like you're getting ready for a reunion!

I've tried telling her I can't talk to her, or just ignoring her. It doesn't seem to work. She's in her late 70s, she's lonely and she sits in the lobby all day long talking to people.

She sounds horribly lonely. She also sounds like one of the first people to notice if your place or your car are being disturbed. Just about every detective novel I've ever read has a character like that.

Maybe it's worth passing the time for 3-4 minutes to put a little aloha in her day... but the next step would be a firm "Thanks, I have to get the rest of my chores done" and you're on your way.

 

[HFWR]

Get a large blow up doll (your choice of sex)...

Well, not my first choice, but it'll do in a pinch...

 

[Backpacker]

i got nuthin' I just had to say I love your sig line

 

[brewer12345]

"Sorry, can't talk - I have to go blast a dookie!"

 

[GregLee]

I bought a cordless phone a year or so ago which has the very useful capability of returning a busy signal always to calls from your personal no call list (if you have caller id). I realize the phone calls are just a minor part of your problem with your neighbor, but it's something, anyway.

 

[W2R]

What about pretending to be on the phone every time you come and go? Or wearing earphones and say you are in the middle of a language study program so you can't be disturbed? That way you could shout out random irregular Spanish verbs and suddenly be the crazier neighbor SHE avoids.

I like this one!! The language study program idea is brilliant.

 

[TromboneAl]

What about pretending to be on the phone every time you come and go?

That sounds really good. Talk loudly.

How to Get Annoying People to Stop Talking to You | eHow.com

 

[LauAnn]

She sounds lonely and harmless. Therefore, be kind. Wave and say hello then as graciously as possible be on your way. Someday you might be glad you took this approach rather than something more drastic.

 

[Nuiloa]

What about pretending to be on the phone every time you come and go? Or wearing earphones and say you are in the middle of a language study program so you can't be disturbed? That way you could shout out random irregular Spanish verbs and suddenly be the crazier neighbor SHE avoids.

Good idea in principle.... but I've tried them. If I'm wearing earphones she stands in front of me and yells. The language thing might work but she fancies she speaks both Spanish and French and she'd immediately start to learn whatever language I say I'm studying so we could chat. I tried it with Japanese. I don't really want to learn Mandarin.

I forgot to mention another endearing habit: she has a dog and she lets him jump all over me whenever I'm near. Or she lets out the leash so long that I almost trip if I try to get around him.

Ah well.... I'll be retired in a year and won't have to worry about her anymore.

 

[target2019]

Ask her for a loan.

 

[Moemg]

I think a pit bull may solve your problems !

 

[Nuiloa]

I think a pit bull may solve your problems !

Do they make pitbulls that are litter-trained? The whole scooping thing loses its charm at 6 a.m. on a wet Vancouver morning. Lol!

 

[freebird5825]

Good idea in principle.... but I've tried them. If I'm wearing earphones she stands in front of me and yells. The language thing might work but she fancies she speaks both Spanish and French and she'd immediately start to learn whatever language I say I'm studying so we could chat. I tried it with Japanese. I don't really want to learn Mandarin.

I forgot to mention another endearing habit: she has a dog and she lets him jump all over me whenever I'm near. Or she lets out the leash so long that I almost trip if I try to get around him.

Ah well.... I'll be retired in a year and won't have to worry about her anymore.

Pepper spray, shown to her in plain sight but not used unless the dog gets aggressive, would be very useful for the uncontrolled dog thing. That is ridiculous that you are jumped on by this animal.

Lonely is one thing. The more info you provide, the more it sounds like this woman is playing "gatekeeper", i.e. entry controller, to the entire community. I am assuming that you are living in a multi-apartment building. Or is it just you that she treats like this? Has anyone else complained about her behavior?

Perhaps an open discussion with the building superintendent, her, and you, all in the same room, with calm voices, is in order. The behavior you describe is completely out of line, almost like a subtle form of harassment. Sheesh!