Dating while retired

[grasshopper]

Ms G really lowered her standards, when she said I do.

 

[haha]

We shouldn't fail to give a little helpful advice to our dating ladies, if there are any.

This will help any woman not completely sure of how she should act.

Tips for Single Women, 1938 | Retronaut

 

[Amethyst]

To me, it is so odd that height should be an issue. I only wanted the man to be at least as tall as I (5 feet 7.5"). And a really nice man could have been shorter than that and I would still have liked him.

So my husband is 6 feet 2, and the sole issue is that I have to pull the driver's seat waaaaaay up after he drives the car, because otherwise my feet don't reach the pedals. And before him, I was perfectly happy for a while with a gentleman who was 5 feet 9" tall. His family teased him for being with a girl who was "as tall as" he was, but they were just showing their ignorance (now, an ignorant family is a deal-killer, IMHO, and I bet the Internet sites don't ask you THAT question).

A.

very time I see a woman advertising she only wants a guy who's at least 6'2" (even if she's only 5'4") it brings back memories of feeling like a reject that no one wanted. .

 

[Amethyst]

Laugh if you want, but my parents were from that era (or thereabouts) and passed along similar tips, and they WORKED! (Fortunately I didn't have to worry about adjusting my girdle in public, since girdles had gone away by the time I was dating. But bra-straps will be with us forever).

Amethyst

We shouldn't fail to give a little helpful advice to our dating ladies, if there are any.

This will help any woman not completely sure of how she should act.

Tips for Single Women, 1938 | Retronaut

 

[Sarah in SC]

Laugh if you want, but my parents were from that era (or thereabouts) and passed along similar tips, and they WORKED! (Fortunately I didn't have to worry about adjusting my girdle in public, since girdles had gone away by the time I was dating. But bra-straps will be with us forever).

Amethyst

I liked the one about not getting sloshed and passing out at the table!
The rest of that website is also pretty cool, Ha, thanks for sharing!

 

[Bimmerbill]

To riff off W2R's "Put as much thought and effort into finding a partner, as you did into your paid work," Amethyst

Oh man, I am doomed then.

 

[NYEXPAT]

I learned along time ago that relationships (like life) is better viewed as a journey as opposed to a destination. To help me in this I created a "Mental Panties draw" in which to keep all the souvenirs, I've collected along the way.

 

[Zero]

I like the comment about checking out the date's family. Some good advice in this thread. Plus a chance to see Ms. Bardot in Cannes in 1953.

 

[youbet]

Our 37 year old son stopped by last Friday evening to drop off some grandkids and caught us "dancin' in the kitchen" to a song on the radio. "Oh, I see you guys are on a date tonight" was all he said as he headed back down the driveway. Good kid. I hope his marriage works out half as well as his parents.......

We enjoy dating in retirement.......

 

[freebird5825]

IMO there are a lot of women who are not looking to be financially supported by a Man and are willing to share the expenses of dating . They just do not advertise it as it goes against popular opinion . There are still plenty of woman who cling to the old fashioned rules of the guys paying for everything but isn't that a little foolish if the women have as much or more than them ?

My bolding...this reminds me of one of my Mom's best pieces of advice about dating when I was a teenager. She told me "if a "boy took me out to dinner in his car, he would probably want to squeeze it out of me later that night."
Her suggestion was to have one of my brothers or a guy friend drop me off at the restaurant and pick me up later. That way I had control of my own destiny versus being taken, after dinner, to the "submarine races" along the Hudson River.
Smart woman.

 

[freebird5825]

Courtesy of Tips for Single Women, 1938 | Retronaut

Any how many times has this rule been violated?

Great site, Ha.

 

[Zero]

Our 37 year old son stopped by last Friday evening to drop off some grandkids and caught us "dancin' in the kitchen" to a song on the radio. "Oh, I see you guys are on a date tonight" was all he said as he headed back down the driveway. Good kid. I hope his marriage works out half as well as his parents.......

We enjoy dating in retirement.......

OMGosh, reminds me of a story of my widowed mom having a new suitor who was a Navy guy and they were in the kitchen and he was doing some kind of semi-limbo thing with a cloth over his forehead. So funny that us 10-12 year olds were snickering.

Darn that made me laugh, too funny.

 

[Bestwifeever]

My bolding...this reminds me of one of my Mom's best pieces of advice about dating when I was a teenager. She told me "if a "boy took me out to dinner in his car, he would probably want to squeeze it out of me later that night."
Her suggestion was to have one of my brothers or a guy friend drop me off at the restaurant and pick me up later. That way I had control of my own destiny versus being taken, after dinner, to the "submarine races" along the Hudson River.
Smart woman.

Wait, the submarine races? But I loved the submarine races and the accompanying snuggling.... Good thing my brother was way too young to drive .

 

[bbbamI]

Wait, the submarine races? But I loved the submarine races and the accompanying snuggling.... Good thing my brother was way too young to drive .

Good thing I don't have a brother.

 

[kumquat]

Maybe so.

An acquaintance of mine does the I.T. work for several online dating sites. He attends an online dating industry conference in Florida held every January. One of the statistics from that conference that he shared with me was 40% of the men on online dating sites are married.

omni

And he knows this how?

Don't these sites take your word for:
- who you are
- What your (legal) status is
- Anything else you say

 

[W2R]

Wait, the submarine races? But I loved the submarine races and the accompanying snuggling.... Good thing my brother was way too young to drive .

My big brother was the one who told me about the submarine races! He said to watch out for that and that if I ever went to watch them with a boyfriend, the word would get out all over the school and he'd "kill" me. Of course, I asked him how HE know about them....

My mother never admitted knowing what that was all about.

 

[packrat44]

I have a very nice pension. But I imagine I would be kicked to the curb once they discovered my option 1 plan I took on my pension plan which means the pension checks dry up immediately after my last breath.

Same here. I told DW I did not take Survivor Benefits on my Military or Federal pensions because I wanted to be worth more alive than dead. Didn't want to give her any ideas.

 

[donheff]

My bolding...this reminds me of one of my Mom's best pieces of advice about dating when I was a teenager. She told me "if a "boy took me out to dinner in his car, he would probably want to squeeze it out of me later that night."
Her suggestion was to have one of my brothers or a guy friend drop me off at the restaurant and pick me up later. That way I had control of my own destiny versus being taken, after dinner, to the "submarine races" along the Hudson River.
Smart woman.

I thought the submarine races were in Lake Michigan.

 

[Nords]

I thought the submarine races were in Lake Michigan.

I'm pretty sure they're in the Severn River... maybe Hospital Creek!

 

[Seeking Hobbes]

Thanks for the views and advice on retired dating...

Dating for someone retired in their late 40's is definitely not for the faint of heart. I've used both Match and EHarmony off and on over the past 14 years and have personally seen both sites grow and develop.

Although, recently, some research has come out confirming this... one thing I could have told anyone (my experienced opinion, anyway) is that all the "science", "compatibility measures", and "personality matching" that these sites claim to use is BS. Oh... there might be mathematical algorithms behind the questionnaires, but as a predictor of success they're bogus.

These sites are little more than subscription based classifieds that list "single" people like home appliances. Taken at face value, this isn't a bad thing... it just isn't as "magical" as the companies would have you believe. That being said, when I was in my late 30's I met A LOT of women via the internet. It really expanded my dating world. While it was time consuming (and expensive) with 2 or 3 dates a week, overall the experience was a good one. Now, in my late 40's, with even less tolerance for baggage (read "kids"), I have my doubts.

For those that suggest help from friends... mine have been rubbish (although well meaning & they say they are always looking).

Local (singles over 40) meet-ups are one option I haven't tried yet... along with volunteering at the library or animal shelter. Perhaps I'll sample these one day.

So, just when I think I may jump in the pool again... I look at the sunny lounge chair & think, "You know, life isn't so bad right now... maybe I'll just enjoy a good book for a while."

Perhaps I'll start with: "Going Solo" by Eric Klinenberg
A revelatory examination of the most significant demographic shift since the Baby Boom—the sharp increase in the number of people who live alone—that offers surprising insights on the benefits of this epochal change.

 

[eytonxav]

That way I had control of my own destiny versus being taken, after dinner, to the "submarine races" along the Hudson River.
Smart woman.

As a former NYer, I haven't heard that line in at least 40 years!

 

[FinanceDude]

I thought the submarine races were in Lake Michigan.

Since my high school was less than 2 miles from Lake Michigan, I can confirm that submarine races do exist..........

 

[FinanceDude]

Man, what a bunch of doom and gloomers on here............ If somehow I was retired and on my own, I am sure I could "struggle and survive". There are a lot of lonely but very nice people in the world. I don't think its as difficult as people say.........

 

[omni550]

Man, what a bunch of doom and gloomers on here............ If somehow I was retired and on my own, I am sure I could "struggle and survive". There are a lot of lonely but very nice people in the world. I don't think its as difficult as people say.........

FD,

WOW.

You really can't understand another person's experience until you've walked a mile in their shoes.

I'm sure there are many lonely and nice people in the world. It takes more than being "lonely and nice" to be a suitable partner for most people.

omni

 

[freebird5825]

As a former NYer, I haven't heard that line in at least 40 years!

The infamous submarine races. Full speed ahead, sir.