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Old 12-13-2015, 02:31 PM   #101
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This thread is enlightening and hysterical.


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Old 12-13-2015, 02:54 PM   #102
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Does your spouse annoy you in retirement?
Big time annoy!!!! But I annoy him too. Makes it even somehow.
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Old 12-16-2015, 02:22 PM   #103
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I've been fire for 3+ years now, so last week when I was trying to read and dw was talking and I said without thinking: "Rxx, please, I'm trying to do some work!" She just fixed me with a stare until we both started laughing hysterically. Work, it turns out, was a great excuse and now I have something about it I know I miss!


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Old 12-16-2015, 03:27 PM   #104
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I think men and women should try to be aware when they are being boring, and either be less boring or shut up. However, this is kind of Utopian. So practically speaking, you might treat the person who is boring you as you would a business client. After all, from the client you want something valuable, namely money. From your spouse or important love interest, you also want something, but unlike money your desire to have this desired thing varies. When you want love, or at least sex, you are usually going to pay attention and try to display attractive behaviors. If you are married, but have pretty much given up on love or sex, you fall back on money. It may cost you plenty if spouse gets annoyed enough to pack up. This is tricky motivation, because you may be resentful about the stick substituting for the carrot.

I know I would not put up with the half conscious treatment that sometimes can occur. I also would try very hard to do better when I am giving only half attention to what a spouse/lover is saying to me. After all, I am more free than some, in that a lover cannot cost me money if I am falling down on the job as she might see it. If she said this, I would likely agree that she was correct and try to meet her needs more effectively, and suggest a drink, a walk or something to break the tension to make things more loving again. If for some period of time I felt that the game was not worth the candle, I think I would check for temporary irritants. But if the unhappy situation seemed stable, I think I would take a break or withdraw. Illness or other big life things make this inoperative, I hope. Though we likely all know men and women with no tolerance for any setbacks, not matter how fully explained by health for example.

I imagine that unmarried couples with no minor children might break up more frequently that married couples or couples with children, especially if one or both partners stands to lose meaningful security or living standards from a breakup.

Ha
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Old 12-16-2015, 04:33 PM   #105
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I imagine that unmarried couples with no minor children might break up more frequently that married couples or couples with children, especially if one or both partners stands to lose meaningful security or living standards from a breakup.

Ha
Exit costs are higher after marriage and reproduction.
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Old 12-16-2015, 04:48 PM   #106
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Exit costs are higher after marriage and reproduction.

And are often made higher still when lawyers get involved. All it takes is one obstinate party...
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