Does your spouse annoy you in retirement?

My husband constantly mumbles, moans and groans, and bitches while he is working on something. I try to stay out of his vicinity because it drives me crazy
 
kimcdougc said:
Married my DH at 19 and he was 21. Knew each other only 2 weeks when we married. He retired in February. I found we need time away from each other. We love each other to the end. We walk 5 miles a day, usually at the nearby mall. He goes way too fast for me, so we walk in different directions until the last round, we walk together.
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I love that strategy! Thanks for sharing.

DW and I are trying to sync up on our ER (TMY!). I do fear we'll have too much together time. We love each other and have great time on vacations. We drive everywhere in the USA so we can get along fine for long periods.

But 40 years of 24/7 retirement is a lot. We need to at least find a way to make it 23/7.
 
kimcdougc said:
Married my DH at 19 and he was 21. Knew each other only 2 weeks when we married. He retired in February. I found we need time away from each other. We love each other to the end. We walk 5 miles a day, usually at the nearby mall. He goes way too fast for me, so we walk in different directions until the last round, we walk together.

We have been married 37 years and counting. We are still trying to figure it all out but are having a great time doing it. He is my best friend (but doesn't always hear what I say and repeats exactly that which I had just said). Like I said...still working on the retirement and having so much time together. Fun learning though.
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WOW! 2 weeks!!?
I guess when it works, IT WORKS!

:):greetings10:
 
Ronnieboy said:
For everyone who talks to themselves or have SO that talk to themselves, what do you or they say? I can't imagine talking out loud to myself when I am thinking it, why do I have to say it out loud?

Do they read out loud too?

Just curious....
If unloading the dishwasher do they say, "the pans go here, the plates here" I guess I don't get it.
Now if the SO other is talking to you and it just sounds like background noise that is another story :bat:
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It takes some time getting use to the talking out loud and figuring out are they talking to you or themselves (audible thinkers is what I think its called). It is almost "explainable' for my honey as he used to do talk radio 4 hours overnight at one point (so he literally talked to himself for hours and got paid to do it). Then he use to give speaches and write a lot, so speaking out loud was a way to phrase and re-phrase ideas.

And yes sometimes he even says mundane things out loud to help him remember. Its the beauty of being human, none of us think alike. His creativity makes him very successful, but his quirks take a little getting use to... if you can find the sense of humor in it, you can live a long happy life together...(ie. sometimes I just make stuff up and inject it into his thoughts.. just to mess with him... after all if he's going to make a list out loud, I should be able to add things to it right?)
 
No, I never get annoyed with DW. And even if I did, I'd not be so foolish as to say so.
 
On her worst day DW annoys me far less than my last mangler on his best day.:D
 
Of course my wife annoys me......and I annoy her, too. We have what we and others call a great marriage, but there are always challenges. There is definitely different dynamics, roles, and issues in ER, but we are both learning, and we both love each other dearly.
 
According to my buddies at fishing camp in far NW Minnesota, the reason for the elaborate ice fishing houses on the lakes is that they are "marriage savers." In the midst of yet another bitter winter, the guys head out onto to the lake for the day, turn on the heater and the TV, pop open a beer and settle in for another day of wife-less fishing. DW stays home and curls up with a book enjoying having the grouchy old man out of the house. Win - win.
 
youbet said:
According to my buddies at fishing camp in far NW Minnesota, the reason for the elaborate ice fishing houses on the lakes is that they are "marriage savers." In the midst of yet another bitter winter, the guys head out onto to the lake for the day, turn on the heater and the TV, pop open a beer and settle in for another day of wife-less fishing. DW stays home and curls up with a book enjoying having the grouchy old man out of the house. Win - win.
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Basically the whole movie "Grumpy Old Men" was based on this premise.
 
I haven't talked to the DW in the last three days, didn't want to interrupt her.
 
frayne said:
I haven't talked to the DW in the last three days, didn't want to interrupt her.
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This is the honest truth here a few months ago, (not married, I have a SO for 9 years) while at a restaurant she was in the usual full blown talking mode. While listening, I needed clarification from a few points she had just said. She told me to quit asking questions as what she was saying not important..."Just listen to what I am saying, it isn't important that you understand it". Lesson learned...I guess....


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Mulligan said:
This is the honest truth here a few months ago, (not married, I have a SO for 9 years) while at a restaurant she was in the usual full blown talking mode. While listening, I needed clarification from a few points she had just said. She told me to quit asking questions as what she was saying not important..."Just listen to what I am saying, it isn't important that you understand it". Lesson learned...I guess....


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
Click to expand...

:ROFLMAO::2funny::ROFLMAO:
 
Mulligan said:
This is the honest truth here a few months ago, (not married, I have a SO for 9 years) while at a restaurant she was in the usual full blown talking mode. While listening, I needed clarification from a few points she had just said. She told me to quit asking questions as what she was saying not important..."Just listen to what I am saying, it isn't important that you understand it". Lesson learned...I guess....


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
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Very appropriate to just be the listener at that point in time. Good job! (take mental notes though..in case she asks for your opinion later)
 
aja8888 said:
Very appropriate to just be the listener at that point in time. Good job! (take mental notes though..in case she asks for your opinion later)
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It confirmed a long held suspicion of mine Aja, that as long as she gets to talk, that is really the importance of the matter....Yet...One would just assume then she was just blabbering, and if I said that I would be in trouble! And yes, I get tested occasionally so I try to pay attention. But she is one of those people who likes to throw out names of various people at work and such that I do not even know who they are. I cant remember a name of a person I don't know and never seen. Yet I still get "in trouble" for not knowing who they are...


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
 
This thread is enlightening and hysterical.


Sent from my iPad using Early Retirement Forum
 
One of the worst mistakes a man can make is when DW or SO are talking about a problem they are having, the man hero leaps to the rescue and attempts to solve it for them.

They are not inteested in any solutions, they just want to talk about the problem!

Sigh, another one of life's brutal experiences:facepalm:
 
IS, this is why I, and probably more than a handful of my fellow female posters here, can have a hard time understanding our girl friends when they do this. I am a problem solver, and cannot for the life of me understand the "bitching for the sake of bitching" nature of some of our conversations.
Just so you know not all of us share this most peculiar trait!

However I entirely own the "whispering from another room" trait, rather proudly.
 
ls99 said:
One of the worst mistakes a man can make is when DW or SO are talking about a problem they are having, the man hero leaps to the rescue and attempts to solve it for them.

They are not inteested in any solutions, they just want to talk about the problem!

Sigh, another one of life's brutal experiences:facepalm:
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It took me 30 years and two wives to really understand this.

 
Sarah in SC said:
However I entirely own the "whispering from another room" trait, rather proudly.
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Some men do this too. I am thinking of one in particular, who jumps out of my car as soon as I have it in park and starts walking off while talking. I'm shutting off the engine, getting my purse, taking off my sunglasses and putting them away, opening my door, getting out... and he is still walking off while talking to me in a soft, normal voice. He doesn't realize how far away he is if he isn't looking at me.

So, I just call out "HEY! Can't hear you way over there" and he will very nicely walk back and repeat what he said. Problem solved with minimal annoyance.
 
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