Family & weirdness

[Westernskies]

it took me years to undo the dysfunctional thinking/behavior patterns that I inherited and I'm damn sure not going to regress if I can help it.

Maybe you also inherited the ability to recognize dysfunctional thinking/behavior patterns and the intelligence to avoid them?

 

[deserat]

Maybe you also inherited the ability to recognize dysfunctional thinking/behavior patterns and the intelligence to avoid them?

HAHAHAHAHA - maybe - takes one to know one, eh?

 

[BunsGettingFirm]

What Westernskies wrote reminded me of an old Chinese proverb that states, "From a thousand miles away, we all smell like roses. From a yard away, we all smell like stinky fish." Perhaps distance is the key to maintaining cordial relations with one's relatives.

 

[Keim]

I've come to the conclusion that I am the weird one in my family.

 

[Glo]

I only have one brother but lots of extended family on both my mother and father's side; we all get along very well--they are wonderful people. My brother and I always got along great; there is a 7-year age difference between us. He lives out west; I live in NE OH but we saw each other quite a bit. My mother died 4 years ago, he came east and helped me settle the estate; everything went perfect.

Fast forward to last July. DH and I got involved in the Obama campaign; so involved, in fact, that I'm taking credit for delivering the vote in our township. LOL! Anyway, brother is Christian right; that's OK with me--everyone is entitled to their own life. We could always talk politics and religion and not hold grudges. In July I started getting horrible horrible horrible emails from him regarding Obama. Things like Obama crucified on a cross. For the first 2 months, I simply deleted the emails without opening them; all these emails were directed to everyone on his email list. I asked him to please not include me in these emails to no avail. Then one day, I received a particularly bad one addressed to me only; I opened it. I sent him an email saying "PLEASE STOP SENDING ME THIS CRAP'!!!!! About 2 days later, he called and reamed me out but good; said I'd lost all my sense and he was done with me--don't ever contact him again. Needless to say, I was beyond stunned. So I let it go. Thanksgiving and Christmas came and went and I had no word from him or his family. I'm wondering what me nieces and nephew are thinking. On the anniversary of my mother's death in April, I sent him an email and said: I love you and miss you every day, just like ma. The reply said "if you're lonely, contact (here he listed names of a dozen of our relatives)". I never dreamed he could be so hurtful. I'll never get over it.

 

[Martha]

Oh Glo, that is so sad.

 

[ERD50]

I've come to the conclusion that I am the weird one in my family.

Anyone remember the TV sitcom "Maybe it's me?"? I watch very little TV, but this show was really creative and funny in an odd way.

Super weird family, but a fairly normal teenage girl, wondering if *she* was the odd one.

"Maybe It's Me" (2001) - Episode list
Maybe It's Me (TV series) - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Some of the gags just totally cracked me up.

-ERD50

 

[Letj]

Thanksgiving and Christmas came and went and I had no word from him or his family. I'm wondering what me nieces and nephew are thinking. On the anniversary of my mother's death in April, I sent him an email and said: I love you and miss you every day, just like ma. The reply said "if you're lonely, contact (here he listed names of a dozen of our relatives)". I never dreamed he could be so hurtful. I'll never get over it.

Sounds like a nice christian way to act.

 

[Glo]

He claims to strictly follow the bible. I wonder where it tells him to treat his sister in this manner?

 

[haha]

He claims to strictly follow the bible. I wonder where it tells him to treat his sister in this manner?

This is very painful. There is a whole psychology of True Believers. They can act in reprehensible ways without guilt or any insight into what they are doing.

Within families all too often this serves as a shield behind which someone can punish a sibling or family member for ancient perceived wrongs that really make no sense in the scheme of things. Two of my brothers have rejected my sister for no reason at all that I can see other than she reminds them of my dead Mother to whom these nitwits still carry animus stored up for 50 or more years. They also have been at times very cruel, and in one brother's case threatening.

I would say that while things might get better, you really need to first be sure you are out of his range to do hurt. And be steadfast in rejecting any guilt or self-recrimination.

Ha

 

[Glo]

haha: thanks for the warning, but I won't contact him again so I'm out of his "range". The rest of the family thinks he's turned into some kind of a nut.

 

[freebird5825]

...Within families all too often this serves as a shield behind which someone can punish a sibling or family member for ancient perceived wrongs, that really make no sense in the scheme of things. Two of my brothers have rejected my sister for no reason at all that I can see other than she reminds them of my dead Mother to whom these nitwits still carry animus stored up for 50 or more years. They also have been very at times very cruel, and in one brother's case threatening...
Ha

I'm sorry to hear you have this going on in your family. I'm also relieved to read this because I am the youngest sister who is on the receving end from 4, count 'em 4, siblings for the very same reason (animosity towards Mom).
Enough became enough a long time ago. Hence my no contact stance. And I am so much better off that way.

 

[Letj]

This is very painful. There is a whole psychology of True Believers. They can act in reprehensible ways without guilt or any insight into what they are doing.

Within families all too often this serves as a shield behind which someone can punish a sibling or family member for ancient perceived wrongs that really make no sense in the scheme of things. Two of my brothers have rejected my sister for no reason at all that I can see other than she reminds them of my dead Mother to whom these nitwits still carry animus stored up for 50 or more years. They also have been very at times very cruel, and in one brother's case threatening.

I would say that while things might get better, you really need to first be sure you are out of his range to do hurt. And be steadfast in rejecting any guilt or self-recrimination.

Ha

Nice post. Glo does not need to feel bad which is exactly what her brother wants her to feel. The problem is his not hers and maybe she really does not need someone like that in her life.