Family & weirdness

98% of the families are dysfunctional. The other 2% are kidding themselves.
 
This might be a good time to review "powers of attorneys for medical care.":( Who has a say so when I & spouse/SO are unconscious?
 
We must all be above average here on the FIRE board. We're OK, but the rest of the family is nuts....... !!
 
I think my brother is in the don't want to deal with family category...

The rest of us are a nice family that all care about each other... we wonder about him.. as an example... we have always gotten together as a family for Christmas eve... a couple of years ago, my sister called my bother to see where he wanted to stay (he stays with different people.. and it always was his choice of where to stay).... His comment 'you did not give me enough notice'... My sister said 'Christmas hasn't moved, how much notice do you need?'....

My mother is the only person who has any regular contact with him. Once she goes, we will probably never hear from him except for any inheritance he might get...
 
CuppaJoe said:
This might be a good time to review "powers of attorneys for medical care.":( Who has a say so when I & spouse/SO are unconscious?
Click to expand...

You got that right.
 
My family is dysfuntional in a fun way . My Mother is 93 and has recently taken to saying whatever is on her mind . It's sometimes funny , sometimes shocking . My younger sister is a nun who is not super religious . My older sister thinks she is the boss of the family and better than the rest of us . My daughter and her husband are health nuts and my niece is a bohemian chick who makes purses .My So and his family are staunch conservatives who can not understand my liberal ways . Amazingly we still all like each other and enjoy each other despite the weirdness.
 
I always thought I had a weird family. Your guys just proved me wrong. Damn, my family seems normal compared to yours. Why does everyone always shatter my illusions:confused:?
 
Khan said:
Anyone else not communicated with family for several years, then done so and remembered why not?
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I'm in the school of "Enough is enough" when it comes to people I share DNA with. I have learned over the years that a DNA connection is not sufficient grounds to put up with truly bad behavior from relatives. Same goes for in-laws. :nonono:
I am blessed with many adopted relatives, of all ages, who truly enrich my life. These are my family because they treat me like their own and vice-versa. I am an adopted older or younger sister to many of my guy friends who have no sisters or have really terrible ones. It w*rks out all the way around. :D
 
youbet said:
We must all be above average here on the FIRE board. We're OK, but the rest of the family is nuts....... !!
Click to expand...

Yes, just like Lake Wobegon!

:D
 
Moemg said:
My family is dysfuntional in a fun way . My Mother is 93 and has recently taken to saying whatever is on her mind . It's sometimes funny , sometimes shocking . My younger sister is a nun who is not super religious . My older sister thinks she is the boss of the family and better than the rest of us . My daughter and her husband are health nuts and my niece is a bohemian chick who makes purses .My So and his family are staunch conservatives who can not understand my liberal ways . Amazingly we still all like each other and enjoy each other despite the weirdness.
Click to expand...

I think you've got a good sitcom script there, Moe!
 
Meadbh said:
I think you've got a good sitcom script there, Moe!
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and I forgot to mention my Aunt who is the funniest person alive or my ex SIL who left my brother for someone else but is still close with the family and comes to all the family gatherings with her new husband and my neice and nephew who are perpetual students or my grand nephew who is a chess champion at eight .
 
That every poster has some weird family members, plus the remarks that 98% of families are dysfunctional remind me of a well known statistics. That is way more than 50% of the drivers think they are above average. In fact more than 50% of people think they are above average in whatever the pollster wants to measure.

Sooo, I am wondering about the normalcy of the posters here. I never claim that I am a normal guy. I have said elsewhere that I am a romantic geek. I don't know if that qualifies as weird, but then you may not know all about me.

How about you?
 
Actually I don't think any of my family members are weird. I mean, isn't it normal if you have a really important decision to make in your life that you would get your tarot cards read to find out what you should do? If that fails to give you the answer you want get your palm read and when life gets really bad take up Wicca. I am sure everyone has someone in their family like that.

Seriously, I don't think my family are weird - it's just that none of us have enough in common to belong in the same family.
 
Oh, I'll admit to being as weird as any of them. When I limit my contact with them, it is a gift to them, something like that.:flowers:
 
I guess I am in the other 2%... get along great with all my siblings, we talk regularly and try to get together a couple of times a year, despite living 1000+ miles apart. We truly enjoy each other's company, despite all of us having taken markedly different paths in life. All the BIL's and SIL's get along well, too. In fact we just got back from the Midwest for a July 4th get-together. I just talked with my sister this weekend; she and her family will be coming to spend Christmas with us at the new house here in AZ; DW is absolutely giddy about having family here for the holidays. My brothers and their families are also invited; they may or may not be able to make it- but no problems or hard feelings if they cannot. Life is too short for that crap; the time we spent together last year -back in the hometown where we all grew up - when our mother died of cancer made us realize how lucky we were to have each other. We were all there together when she passed. I wouldn't trade that experience, or the weeks leading up to it for anything.

Now the DW's side of the family is a whole 'nother story....lots of drama, strife, shunning, avoidance and animosity. Five siblings, all live within 25 miles; some haven't talked or seen each other in years... Grandparents haven't been able to see seen some of the grand kids in over 10 years...only DW and one sister showed up at their 50th anniversary party..most of the venom is generated by one psychotic SIL who still influences the others -the ultimate payback for MIL/FIL being strict, loving, hardworking, parents who raised successful kids...what a waste.
 
NW-Bound said:
That every poster has some weird family members, plus the remarks that 98% of families are dysfunctional remind me of a well known statistics. That is way more than 50% of the drivers think they are above average. In fact more than 50% of people think they are above average in whatever the pollster wants to measure.

Sooo, I am wondering about the normalcy of the posters here. I never claim that I am a normal guy. I have said elsewhere that I am a romantic geek. I don't know if that qualifies as weird, but then you may not know all about me.

How about you?
Click to expand...
Weird, eccentric, off-the-wall, different - my favorite kind of people. Birds of a feather and all that. :whistle:
But just plain mean is where I draw the line. Unfortunately, I have too many of those in my own family and then unwittingly married into an even worse set. I always swore LH was hatched. :LOL:
So I choose the path of non-contact. I will not engage in petty arguments with folks who simply are who they are. Life is way too short.
On the postive side, dh2b's family is a breath of fresh air. Not perfect, but very refreshing. :D
 
This thread is reminding me of a "Home Improvement" episode where one of Tim (The Tool Man) Taylor's sons wanted to go an a skiing trip with his friends at Christmas. Tim tried to convince the son to stay home with his family for Christmas, but the son said he would rather spend Christmas with people he likes -- to which Tim replied "Chirstmas is not about being with people you like. It's about being with your family".
 
MikeD said:
Isn't that the median? It's only the mean if it's a "normal" distribution, right?

I am not sure about this.:)

Mike D.
Click to expand...

I'm sure. It's the median. Otherwise known as the 50th percentile.

And you are correct about the dependence of the centrality of the mean upon the normalcy of the distribution! (see skewness)
 
This is an interesting post for me.

My/our family mostly gets along. My parents and my wife's and my brother's wife's parents got along famously, until the ends of their lives. It has been great fun.

One or another of the outlying in-laws has had problems with family members. I am happy to say that I am on good terms with all that I know. (I should mention that I have never borrowed money from any of them or them me.)
 
I have never had a row or a grudge with anyone in my family, except with brothers and Dad when I was a teenager. That all got repaired. I get along well with my ex's parents and all her aunts and uncles when they were alive, and with her cousins and did while I was married to her. I get along with all my cousins, and my aunts and uncles who are now unfortunately all dead. I love both my sons and their wives, and my grand-daughter.

That does not mean that I think they are all wonderful, or that they feel that way about me. I love my kids and their families unreservedly; the others I care for but do not necessarily think they represent human perfection any more than I do. I even love my ex, she was good to me in many ways for a long time. I figure that God grades on a curve, and why should I be any different? I give myself some leeway also, as life is hard and we all need and deserve some slack.

In real life I do not want to make enemies, and I do want to make and keep friends. My Dad always said, "Ha, don't piss people off. There is no percentage in that."

I have a story that illustrates that pretty well. There was a bully in my neighborhood. He beat the hell out of a lot of people, but he especially had it in for this one fat kid. Over and over he beat him up and humiliated him. Finally, years later, he got to the point where his behavior brought him into court as an adult under some serious charges. He got convicted and sentenced to the state prison. But guess who had spent his career working away in the prison system, and was now assistant warden at this particular state prison? You got it, the fat kid who had been tortured by the bully. The thug saw the writing on the wall and was found hanged in his cell in county jail. Karma I guess, or the running out of his luck.

I have treated people unkindly, mostly girls when I was young, and my father in times of stress. I would like to go back and undo those unkind acts, words and thoughtless omissions if I could. Every time I was a pr*ck is a black mark that I would really like to erase.

But erasure is not possible; only forgiveness.

Overall, the harm I have done to others bothers me quite a bit more than the harm they may have done to me.

Ha
 
Distance can make for good relationships or good fences make good neighbors. Growing up I moved around a lot and wasn't near family all of the time. My family has had its share of drama and strife - worse than any of the other families in my extended relatives - therefore, I've made it a rule to be polite and approachable. However, I do enforce boundaries that are important to me to whit: when my mom or my dad starts to go on about each other and the issues of their divorce (over 27 years ago with both of them being remarried 25+ years), I tell them that's nice and walk away; when my aunt starts to screech about my mother, I walk away; when anyone has had too much to imbibe or otherwise and it seriously affect their behavior, I walk away. I don't end up in those situations very often, but they've learned I'm not going to waste time on frivolous and foolish behavior by them. They've also learned that acting the victim or asking for a handout doesn't work. So, with that in mind, most of my family interactions are pleasant :)

I'm like Nords and a few of the others - it took me years to undo the dysfunctional thinking/behavior patterns that I inherited and I'm damn sure not going to regress if I can help it.
 
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