family member asking for money - domestic violence issue :-(((

[simple girl]

On the other hand, if he is like my sister's first husband (who wasn't abusive, he just left her) - once he sees the court order for support, he may pack his bags and just disappear. Even if the children don't get to see their father, that is not always a bad thing.... Is he "rooted" to the area for other reasons?

Not sure - his mother, who always bails him out of things, is in the area. We'll just have to wait and see what happens...

 

[FUEGO]

Hey Simple Girl,

I just now stumbled on this thread. How did this situation turn out? Is the niece in law safe and sound and moving on up in life?

I thought the thread was from July 2015 then realized it was 4 years old but now I want to know how it turned out.

My SIL and her four kids went through something similar with my brother last year. My parents and I had to help her out a lot, though she ended up back with him (yeah, my parents and I versus my bro, sad times...). It was mostly severe verbal/emotional/money control for him against her and the physical violence was of secondary concern.

 

[simple girl]

Hey Simple Girl,

I just now stumbled on this thread. How did this situation turn out? Is the niece in law safe and sound and moving on up in life?

I thought the thread was from July 2015 then realized it was 4 years old but now I want to know how it turned out.

My SIL and her four kids went through something similar with my brother last year. My parents and I had to help her out a lot, though she ended up back with him (yeah, my parents and I versus my bro, sad times...). It was mostly severe verbal/emotional/money control for him against her and the physical violence was of secondary concern.

I wish I could say she is doing great, but she isn't. She did get rid of the loser husband, and seemed to be doing better, graduated, got a job, etc....but then over the past few years we heard she got into meth (more? who knows, probably was into it to start with), and she just really seems to have spiraled back down the rabbit hole. Jobs on/off, weird facebook posts, had the kids a while, then lost them, then got them back...we can't deal with the whole thing (have no control anyways) and just are staying out of her life. Very sad. It is what it is.

So sorry to hear about your SIL and brother. That had to be so hard to handle with your brother being the "bad guy". I hope their situation turned out better than my niece's. {sigh}

 

[FUEGO]

I wish I could say she is doing great, but she isn't. She did get rid of the loser husband, and seemed to be doing better, graduated, got a job, etc....but then over the past few years we heard she got into meth (more? who knows, probably was into it to start with), and she just really seems to have spiraled back down the rabbit hole. Jobs on/off, weird facebook posts, had the kids a while, then lost them, then got them back...we can't deal with the whole thing (have no control anyways) and just are staying out of her life. Very sad. It is what it is.

So sorry to hear about your SIL and brother. That had to be so hard to handle with your brother being the "bad guy". I hope their situation turned out better than my niece's. {sigh}

That's unfortunate about your niece-in-law, but what more can you do, right?

I'm not really sure what family life is like for SIL and my brother right now (or their 3 kids). Hopefully her getting a restraining order against him (temporarily) and leaving with the kids for a while made him realize she might actually walk away from him for good. Hopefully he's a nicer guy now.

Part of SIL's problem is that her and her husband (my brother) jointly own and operate a small business (just the 2 of them). SIL wasn't willing to let the biz blow up and walk away from it since they were both on the hook for the $90k lease (total due over 3 years). I think the lease expires next spring or summer and she's mentioned she's not renewing. We'll see if she carries through since she tends to get persuaded/manipulated by her husband and he might see the business as his meal ticket (even though it won't operate without SIL; my bro is replaceable).

 

[simple girl]

That's unfortunate about your niece-in-law, but what more can you do, right?

Exactly.

I'm not really sure what family life is like for SIL and my brother right now (or their 3 kids). Hopefully her getting a restraining order against him (temporarily) and leaving with the kids for a while made him realize she might actually walk away from him for good. Hopefully he's a nicer guy now.

Part of SIL's problem is that her and her husband (my brother) jointly own and operate a small business (just the 2 of them). SIL wasn't willing to let the biz blow up and walk away from it since they were both on the hook for the $90k lease (total due over 3 years). I think the lease expires next spring or summer and she's mentioned she's not renewing. We'll see if she carries through since she tends to get persuaded/manipulated by her husband and he might see the business as his meal ticket (even though it won't operate without SIL; my bro is replaceable).

Hope she has learned to stand up for herself a bit!

 

[FUEGO]

Hope she has learned to stand up for herself a bit!

I hope so. I don't really keep in touch with her (other than remaining facebook friends) because contact from us or my mom tends to get her in trouble with my brother so I'm fine giving them space. Bro monitors all her electronic communications (text, email, facebook, voicemail, etc) so it's hard to communicate with her without physically driving to where she works before bro shows up.