Freaking Out - Please Pardon Cathartic Venting

[Major Tom]

We're not worried about renting for a week or two or even three. The La Quinta will work for us. It's the "rent for six months" ideas that we reject. No way are we caging our cats for six months. That's cruel.

There are rentals (both apartments and houses) that accept cats.

 

[bUU]

So anyway. Looks like the sellers are going to drag this out until the evening.

 

[W2R]

We're not worried about renting for a week or two or even three. The La Quinta will work for us. It's the "rent for six months" ideas that we reject. No way are we caging our cats for six months. That's cruel.

When my parents moved to Hawaii back in the early 1960's, there was a six month quarantine on all pets entering the state, for rabies (because it was non-existent in the islands). We put our sensitive, sweet, spoiled little toy poodle in quarantine. They actually WERE caged there, as opposed to many humane boarding facilities that allow the animals to run outside for a while each day. We visited her every day, and probably spent more time with her in quarantine than we normally did. She was just FINE and perfectly happy. It's not cruel to put an animal in a good boarding facility, especially if you make the time to visit that animal each day. Cats in particular are often so much more independent than dogs.

It is quite possible that you would find and close on your new house in a month or two instead of six months. Or find it, put it in escrow, and rent it from the present owners within a week. This is why an extended stay motel that accepts cats, such as the chain I suggested or the one Daylatedollarshort suggested, might be the perfect solution.

 

[2B]

And that's the rub: People want to judge the reasons based on their personal priorities rather than ours. It's a bit like telling people they're silly for buying a high performance car since it isn't frugal. Some people value high performance. Some people value frugality. Neither are wrong.

Clearly, you need to find someplace, anyplace that you can buy and move right into. If necessary, pay over the asking price to get the quick closing date. If this doesn't work, back out of the deal on your current house. I agree it would just upset your cats too much to move twice even if one of the moves was into a furnished weekly rental.

Yes, I am being snarky but that's what I'm hearing. Go for it.

 

[bUU]

That's not snark. It's petty rudeness.

 

[Texas Proud]

Wow.... all this in a few hours....

First, it is only one day to wait... don't worry about it...

Second, if you still want to worry you can do something that was done to me when I was selling my house... a buyer had three houses that they liked... so they put in an offer for all three houses and said the first one to accept their offer was the one they would take and the other two were rescinded... they also put in really low offers for all three....


That does two things.... first, you find out if someone is waiting like the empty house... second, it tells the sellers that their place is not the only bid that is out there....


I actually did not hear about the bid until a few days later... and someone had accepted it the same day....

 

[bUU]

a buyer had three houses that they liked... so they put in an offer for all three houses and said the first one to accept their offer was the one they would take and the other two were rescinded...

Wow, that's ballsy. I don't think that's even legal anymore is it?

 

[aja8888]

Ah, stress.....last November we closed on a house nearby in a downsizing event. Houses were on the market just hours then. We put our house on the market and had an offer (full price) in one day from an investor. Took the offer and got the process going.

Well, the investor kept stalling the closing and we had moved into the new house already. This went on for two months when I told them I was not going to extend further and asked for another $1,000 for my time. (I had a vacant house at the time)

Got the "one Large" extra, closed the deal, etc and all was good, but it took two months longer. Apparently the buyer had his funds "offshore" and it took a while to get them (what??). Real estate deals can be a pain in the @$$.

BUU, hang in there and have a nice cup of coffee!

 

[jon-nyc]

Maybe you can get flexible terms from your buyer?

 

[W2R]

We had our pets stay with relatives while we rented. Personally I didn't find moving twice all that stressful. We put most of our furniture in storage. The moving van line people dropped it off at the storage place and we hired some local moving company to fetch it out after we bought a house. You have to do what works for you but for us I don't remember this as a super stressful period like you are describing your move, and we were both working full time.

If we downsize we already decided we'd just move to a Residence Inn type place that accepts pets while we house hunt. With being able to house hunt during the weekdays as well as weekends it seems like it wouldn't take that long to find a new place to live.

When we were planning to move to Springfield, that was what we thought we'd do, too. Either that, or we had our eye on a nice apartment complex and planned to ask them if they would work with us on breaking the lease early if needed. We investigated storage facilities early on, and found a good one with rates we could afford. We also determined how to find some (insured) "strong backs" quickly to help us load and unload our rental truck. At our age, we don't need to be doing that.

I have moved 28 times in my adult life so far, and have done interstate moves not only with our dog but also with macaws, parakeets, and lots and lots of saltwater fish. The latter are delicate and present their own challenges, but we didn't lose even one fish. I know that in general this group is not only well traveled, but has a lot of frequent movers in it; some contract employees move quite frequently, as do those in the military and certain other occupations that are well represented here. They know a lot more than I do about moving with pets.

There are some great things about moving, including the fact that when it is all over it is behind you! Some parts of the experience are hideously stressful and best forgotten. But the excitement and adventure of moving should never be forgotten. This can be the experience of a lifetime and I hope it is for you, too, bUU.

 

[2B]

That's not snark. It's petty rudeness.

I'm not intending it to be rude. I'm telling you what I'm hearing from your posts. You don't have to take anyone's suggestions or ideas but why ask for them if your mind is already made up? To me, it appears it is.

 

[bUU]

Maybe you can get flexible terms from your buyer?

They'll likely have no problem with it drifting out a week or so, but we're bumping up into Thanksgiving. They probably won't go beyond Thanksgiving.

We've got movers coming in on Thursday to provide estimates. We're going to ask specifically about what we've read about the difficulties scheduling movers for holiday weeks and the last week of the month, on short notice due to pushing out a closing like this. We've figured that in the end we might have to move out earlier than our closing and have the movers store our belongings for a little bit of time until our closing in GA happens.

I'm not intending it to be rude. I'm telling you what I'm hearing from your posts. You don't have to take anyone's suggestions or ideas but why ask for them if your mind is already made up? To me, it appears it is.

Because there are more things to discuss than just the one idea you seem to want to be the only one we'll consider. Again: "interesting idea, but no thanks - next suggestion please"...

There are some great things about moving, including the fact that when it is all over it is behind you! Some parts of the experience are hideously stressful and best forgotten. But the excitement and adventure of moving should never be forgotten. This can be the experience of a lifetime and I hope it is for you, too, bUU.

We're looking forward to that release of stress when an offer we make in GA is finally accepted.

 

[W2R]

We've got movers coming in on Thursday to provide estimates. We're going to ask specifically about what we've read about the difficulties scheduling movers for holiday weeks and the last week of the month, on short notice due to pushing out a closing like this. We've figured that in the end we might have to move out earlier than our closing and have the movers store our belongings for a little bit of time until our closing in GA happens.

Well there you go!! You and kitties can check into an extended stay place in Georgia and relax there until your Georgia house closes. That's great. Also most movers will store stuff for longer if necessary (for a reasonable fee), until you call for it. I did that once, when the Navy was paying for our move. After I had found and taken possession of a rental house and then called the movers, they brought everything over the next morning bright and early. Piece 'o' cake (just bring money). Even if your GA closing takes a month or more, you will be fine.

 

[daylatedollarshort]

Some people here moved into an RV after downsizing, if you are looking for unique ideas. We have friends that lived in an RV for 6 months between moves. Otherwise I'm not aware of too many unique options you probably don't already know about. Most people seem to either buy first then sell the old house, sell the old house then rent or live with family and then buy, or try to do both buying and selling in close proximity.

What do you do with your cats when you go on vacation?

 

[bUU]

Well there you go!! You and kitties can check into an extended stay place in Georgia and relax there until your Georgia house closes. That's great. Also most movers will store stuff for longer if necessary (for a reasonable fee), until you call for it. I did that once, when the Navy was paying for our move. After I had found and taken possession of a rental house and then called the movers, they brought everything over the next morning bright and early. Piece 'o' cake (just bring money). Even if your GA closing takes a month or more, you will be fine.

Yeah I'm definitely not worried about a week or so in a hotel. I'm a little worried about a month. No one is picking up the bill for this move. Even so, that's still probably less than $2000. We can hack that if we have to. Does anyone know if any of that expense is deductible. (I know the meals we eat out as a result of the delay in closing are not deductible.)

I was actually surprised at how little movers reportedly charge for storage. We'll get hard numbers from the movers on Thursday of course but our realtor said it was on the order of $80 per week. Very reasonable if that rate is correct.

What do you do with your cats when you go on vacation?

They house sit for us. (And we have a human playmate come visit them once a day.)

 

[Meadbh]

That's not snark. It's petty rudeness.

Perhaps, but I think you may be underestimating the risk to the business of losing me. Anything could happen, of course, and like I said, no one is irreplaceable, but the honest reality is that there is a greater chance of the company having to refund millions of dollars to customers for failure in their ability to support the product they've sold due to my departure. It's a risk, no question. And I need some guidance about how to deftly determine the actual amount of that risk, rather than relying on standard memes about the risk to my job.

I have a very personal experience myself. We came to MA, actually, as a result of my spouse getting a job up here. I was working for a consultancy, and while it meant that my boss couldn't expect me to be in "the office" on the few days I wasn't with a client, anymore, he had no problem with me moving. I went on to work there for another four years, before leaving on my own terms. It's a different situation, of course - every situation is different from every other situation, by definition - but the trappings are the same: Some aspect of the situation makes it uniquely less likely to follow the standard meme.

True, but that has to be balanced off the possibility of continuing to earn Boston salary while incurring the (35% smaller) cost of living in Atlanta.

That's a paralyzing way of looking at things. It rationalizes never taking any risk in life whatsoever, hunkering down, avoiding all perturbations even though they may make other aspects of life better, for one's self or one's loved ones. We do need to learn more about the place we'd be living. That's why I've secure the opportunity to go with my spouse on that business trip. I'll be working remotely that week, so there will be that small precedent set, as part of this. We'll try to inundate ourselves with experiences over the weekend, and in the evenings. However, we'll never be in a situation to live somewhere for a while before we move there. It's just not practical given the circumstances and given the point of considering the move in the first place. So the question I have for you is, given those realities, how to better overcome the lack of understanding of the community, without resorting to the drastic measures you suggest, and without throwing up our hands and claiming that there is no other way to get enough information to make a reasonable decision.

That's not going to happen. She's moving from a high income area to a low income area, and so her current salary would be considered by any reasonable manager to be a bump in compensation that more than makes up for making the move. It is more reasonable to speculate that my manager (doing the same math) trying to reduce my salary as a result of the move, than to project that my spouse's manager would offer a higher salary to make the move.

I don't doubt that they'd do something along those lines, but the reality is that there no such job. My situation is unique - for the same reason I'm less likely to face the risks to my job that you speculated about above, I'm almost surely not going to find another job like this one, so finding another job for me is not part of the plan. While stuff happens, and you have to roll with whatever happens to you in life, the plan here is contingent on a high probability of keeping the job I have. I think it is reasonable for you to point out the need to do something (although I'm asking you what that might be) to ascertain how reliable that provision of the plan is; it is not reasonable to assume that keeping my current job cannot possibly happen and therefore any plan based on keeping my current job isn't a good plan.

We're going to find out what that will be, soon. I think we're assuming that they'll cover about $8K as a flat reimbursement for what will surely be a small percentage of the actual cost of the move.

No question about that. And we don't plan on signing any contract that isn't almost totally contingent on selling our home at a reasonable price.

Nor any certainty that we wouldn't be much sadder staying here rather than moving. We don't know what tomorrow might bring. No one ever does. The activity needed here is to research and make an assessment of the probable future situation given both decisions (staying vs. moving).

Thanks for the suggestion. We're not interested in switching to a long-term relationship at this point in our lives. We're a couple, and we'll stay together. Also, we have had enough bad experiences with being remote landlords that we don't do that again. Finally, we cannot justify the expense of living in two cities at the same time.

One concern I have with what you've posted is that you haven't placed any value on the human side of the equation, except tangentially toward the end of your message. For example, you didn't even consider that I might be happier, personally, working remotely than working in the office. (I would; the office is a glare-y, uncomfortable environment.) Why wouldn't you consider those aspects more substantially than your comments indicated? I'm looking for insights to help us make the best decision for us, akin to the great comment you made about not signing contracts now, and akin to those that I feel you've left out of your advice, i.e., those that integrate how each of the two options will affect our life, rather than just our finances.

I don't buy this, for reasons I alluded to earlier.

It is such a weird aspect of this: So many people are so passionate about renting first, without knowing us or our situation, that in some cases it has bordered on the offensive. People are different, and so what works best for one person won't be the right choice for other people.

I see a theme here.

 

[Major Tom]

Some people here moved into an RV after downsizing, if you are looking for unique ideas.

How about a yurt, or a tree-house? You forgot to mention those "unique" ideas

 

[imoldernu]

We considered Pods for our last move.
Move and storage.

 

[bUU]

I see a theme here.

As I mentioned, I also have seen a theme here.

 

[W2R]

Yeah I'm definitely not worried about a week or so in a hotel. I'm a little worried about a month. No one is picking up the bill for this move. Even so, that's still probably less than $2000. We can hack that if we have to. Does anyone know if any of that expense is deductible. (I know the meals we eat out as a result of the delay in closing are not deductible.)

I was actually surprised at how little movers reportedly charge for storage. We'll get hard numbers from the movers on Thursday of course but our realtor said it was on the order of $80 per week. Very reasonable if that rate is correct.

Moving isn't cheap, that's for sure! Having professional movers is expensive, but it really lowers the stress and that storage fee sounds good.

 

[daylatedollarshort]

How about a yurt, or a tree-house? You forgot to mention those "unique" ideas

I have actually seen tree-houses for rent on air bnb. We considered one (it was really more of a guest cottage) when one of the kiddos needed a cheap place to stay while apartment hunting.

People rent all sort of crazy places on air bnb including RVs parked in their drive way and even hammocks in their back yard. The room didn't come with a hammock - the "room" was the back yard hammock.

I guess another alternative to avoid storage fees would be to sell everything on Craigslist and then rebuy in the new location. I've seen some pretty nice furniture at garage and estate sales since helping furnish an apartment for one of the kids. I have started shopping thrift stores and estate sales for stuff for us. I've realized I can get like new household goods for 15 cents on the dollar compared to buying new, even on Amazon.

 

[Looking4Ward]

I can't be of any help to the OP because I've always sold/purged/rented until I found my next place but I've certainly gotten some good ideas from all of these suggestions for the next time!

 

[bUU]

A co-worker just pointed us at airbnb. I don't see a way to search by "pet-friendly" yet, but it's got to be here.

 

[ivinsfan]

I'm starting to wonder if you are worrying about too much too soon, re my earlier post having a closing date is better then not having one, but it's only a date..Your house might not close, the sale might not happen. Buyers seem to have the power to back out whenever they want to and usually end up getting all their earnest money back...I don't think I would book a date to move until I had most of the paperwork and a buyer inspection and a real definite idea that it is really happening when it's supposed to. Do you need to have one house sold before you move on to the next one? Of course if you went to storage and some type of renting this wouldn't be as big of an issue.


The point people are making is no matter much you want to control things sometimes you can't and not being flexible just adds stress.

 

[daylatedollarshort]

Our kid stayed at air bnb or hotels booked through Kayak during apartment hunting and we decided it was cheaper to rebuy from CL / thrift shops / estate sales for furniture than pay for moving or storage. Bed bug potential stuff we bought new from Ikea in the new locale.