East Texas, perfect timing as I was just coming on to give an update.
My divorce was final yesterday. I was much sadder than I thought I would be. I couldn't stop crying at the hearing, even though I knew it was what had to be done. Yesterday was not a great day, having to go to the credit union, social security office, DMV, passport place, etc., to change my name. In the elevator coming down from social security, a guy congratulated me on my marriage. I told him it was a divorce, almost setting off another bout of tears, and then he tried to pick me up! Very strange.
However, I woke up today feeling a lot better. I know that there will be more roller coaster and down days ahead, but for the first time in a long time, I am feeling really excited about my new life.
My XH was offered a job at his current hospital, but it was at an insulting salary. I wouldn't be surprised if it had something to do with his subpar performance these past 6 months (he's failed exams related to his specialty, so is currently in remediation.) So, the good news is that he has accepted a position in a town about 4 hours away that starts in August.
Our house is on the market, and the real estate agent thinks it will sell quickly. We will lose money on it, but we probably won't have to bring cash to closing, which is all I really care about now.
My job is absolutely fabulous, except for the long hours, but that's pretty standard in the industry. My coworkers are simply amazing. They know about the divorce (because my name is changing and I needed yesterday off) and they have been so sympathetic and wonderful. It's at a well-respected financial services firm, and I'm learning so much that should help me reach my goal of ER. I converse with senior portfolio managers every day and have so many interesting conversations with them on a variety of topics. At my old firm, people at that level wouldn't have deigned to talk to someone at my level, but these people make it a point to stop by, ask how my weekend was, offer their expertise if I have any questions while studying for the series 7 exam, and thank me for the work I've done, expressing how happy they are I've joined their team. Sometimes it seems like a dream! (You know...if I have to have a job!)
On a more personal level, I ran an ultramarathon earlier this month and came in 1st in my age group; 3rd overall among women. Pounding out the stress of infidelity has made me faster! I continue on with my other hobbies -- painting, reading, hiking, etc. I'm reconnecting with old friends and making new ones.
So, life moves on. It's still crazy to think how fast this all progressed. Only 6 months ago I had a conversation with a friend, telling her how much I loved my life and how lucky I was to have a wonderful husband. And two weeks later, he confessed to his affair. After much soul-searching and work on myself, I realized that he never was what I thought he was.
To sum up: some good, some bad. Now that the divorce is final, I can truly move on. I don't know what I would have done without my amazing family, friends, and forumites. And running. That combination kept me sane throughout this surreal process.
As I've said before, your wisdom and encouraging words on this thread helped more than you'll ever know. I have read through it so many times, and find myself frequently repeating (to myself, in my head) the sage advice given here. I appreciate how so many of you have taken the time to share your wisdom and experience with me.
It has been a long and difficult journey, with many more long and difficult days ahead, but I know that I will be OK. It seems like there is enough interest here, so I'll probably update again in the future, even though the divorce is final. Maybe once we finally sell the house!
