Knowing the difference between a black funk and when it is time to retire...

[rayinpenn]

First let me set the stage: in the past three months my early 60s, 2 years retired, easy going SIL was diagnosed with Cancer. To my knowledge Jill has probably never had an unkind word for anyone. After the initial shock. The siblings rushed to get tests that they should have gotten at 50. (Which is the only good thing that can come from something like this).

I at the office and get an instant message from my other SIL - we both wok for the same company. “Do you think I should ask for a package”. Apparently my SIL is very unhappy with her job. “My Boss doesn’t like me and Im sick of the Bull____.” I respond well if they aren’t offering packages then you likely wont get one. She then tells me “twice now he’s said there will be expense cuts and things will be different around here” I said it would hurt to say something like “It wouldnt be the worse thing in the world if I was laid off. I looked it up and her severance would be one year. SIL is a member of the 6 figure club and owes $11,000 on her mortgage. Put another way, financially she is sitting pretty.

We have a conversation in person and she tells “I am in a funk” and “look what happened to Jill we don’t have forever”. I agree but change from 3 days a week to 4 (until the holidays).

I tell her you are in the catbirds seat and cant lose one way or another. I further tell her you are financially set - 2 years away from early SS.

You know talk like this can be contagious!
Edit: I meant to say 7 figure club in savings...

 

[bclover]

You know some times it's not a black funk, some times it could be a sign from the universe. seriously.

My story is not too, too different, lol except I'm not in the 6 figure club. Anyhoo, for most of my life I was a Principle investigator (fancy title for Chemist) with a familiar mega chemistry company located in Wilmington De.
Well as with many companies the atmosphere changed. we went from doing research to simply trying to make the stock holders happy (which is an animal that keeps wanting to be fed more and more). the job changed totally and I was supremely unhappy. I will say I loved many of my coworkers, most of us were there in the same group for 20, 25, 30 years. we knew each others personal lives and really were a great group. I was really prepared to stick it out.

Then from 2013 to 2015. I lost my husband, my little brother and my best friend. Two to cancer, one to a heart attach. ALL 55 AND UNDER. Oy Vey talk about wake up call. Even with the lousy,lousy severance package they offered, when the time came I jumped ship.

life has a funny way of letting you know real quick what is important and what is not.

 

[mystang52]

OP - from a practical perspective, I think it would NOT be a good idea for your SIL to ask for a package. If no layoffs are taking place, I can't imagine a company giving an employee a package just because she asked.

 

[foxfirev5]

I wasted at least a year of my life waiting for the corporate layoff package. It still hasn't happened over 2 years later. I would advise taking control rather than hanging around for a handout.

 

[rayinpenn]

You know some times it's not a black funk, some times it could be a sign from the universe. seriously.

life has a funny way of letting you know real quick what is important and what is not.

My impression it is a “sign from the universe” . Yesterday I heard someone say “I don’t want to be the richest man in the graveyard..”
It actually stung a bit.

 

[athena53]

Is the severance package guaranteed if they fire her without cause, or is it something the company can offer at their discretion to people whose jobs are being cut? If it's at their discretion, I'd be wary of letting them know how willing I was to be let go.

What would she do for health insurance- can she continue through her employer as a retiree? That's a benefit many companies are cutting back. Since retiring in mid-2014 I've seen my own coverage go from $430/month to $776/month. Fortunately, in my case, Medicare kicks in on 1/1. BIG sigh of relief. If your sister is 2 years away from early SS, she's probably 60, so has 5 years to keep up coverage on her own. COBRA is available for only 18 months.

Finally- does she have other savings or income to supplement SS? There are multiple discussions on this, but if she takes it at 62 she's going to get a lot less than if she waits. Will she be able to adjust from $100K+ lifestyle to living on SS and paying for her own health insurance?

I'm glad your family members are rushing out to get what I suspect is The Test We Do Not Discuss at the Dinner Table. Not a pleasant experience but it can definitely prevent something far nastier. I hope your SIL recovers.

 

[brett]

Think carefully about your options and your financial well being. I found that when I decided to wait for a package my attitude and my stress level decreased. In my case it meant a package just shy of two years plus benefits including the addition of this time to my DB entitlement. It also elongated the time that I had to exercise options.

I only had to wait eighteen months. It was well worth the wait. I was in an industry in constant downsize mode so I knew that it would come within a reasonable amount of time.

 

[kcowan]

My BIL Was a middle manager at a bank. I was chatting with his boss at a family event and mentioned that he had bought a snowbird property in Phoenix. He asked whether I knew if he wanted to retire. I said we had never discussed it.

The following week, he was offered an unannounced package which he accepted.

I would talk to some recently departed to assess whether they "got assistance".

 

[harley]

That's one of the main reasons I retired at 50. My real mom died in her early 30s. My brother at 42. I had to perform CPR on a early 50s coworker in the Megacorp bathroom once. My FIL was essentially carried out of the office at the end of his life, although that's because he wanted it that way. But there was no way I wasn't going to enjoy life for awhile before shuffling off this mortal coil if I had anything to say about it.

I think your SIL should keep an eye out for opportunities, but I wouldn't ask for a package. In my case there were RIFs coming along every year or so, and when I was ready to go I let my boss know I would volunteer to take a package and save someone else's job (until the next RIF, anyway). It worked out pretty well, and I with your SIL good luck.

 

[pb4uski]

....I tell her you are in the catbirds seat and cant lose one way or another. I further tell her you are financially set - 2 years away from early SS.

You know talk like this can be contagious!
Edit: I meant to say 7 figure club in savings...

I think the key question is... what is the "purpose" of continuing to work?

I was in a similar position... the catbird seat... we had enough/plenty... but I still liked my job and work.

At the end of the day, my continuing to work was enriching the federal and state governments and increasing our kids inheritance.... I decided that "me-time" was more valuable so I resigned.... no regrets at all... best decision that I ever made.

 

[Sunset]

OP - while your SIL is waiting for the package, tell her to pay off the mortgage, a low mortgage like that is not a tax benefit, and really just a bother. If she can't muster enough to pay it off, then that tells you something about how she will manage expenses without a paycheck.

 

[Teacher Terry]

I think a few people that posted missed that you said your sister was in the 7 figure club. She should retire if she wants too. I lost 3 good friends between 59 & 67.

 

[brett]

When I had to select targets for downsizing I was always very open to giving the package to someone who wanted it. Whether they deserved it or not.

Why? Simply because if you are in a work environment that precludes any hiring you may as well select someone who is planning to leave anyway. That way you will only be down one employee rather one who got the package and one who quit (that you are not permitted to replace).

If this is your environment it may well be to your advantage to, as the OP suggested, QUIETLY put the word out where it counts.

 

[imoldernu]

Different scenario, but similar situation.
My corporate career with Montgomery Ward ended in 1986, where I literally worked myself out of business by being in charge of closing 2400 catalog units all over the US.
Too young @ 49, and not safe enough to retire, an adventure into my own business which rapidly grew to a point where a major expansion was necessary to keep up. That was in 1989. This meant obtaining financing, and putting all of my assets on the line to make it work.
At the actual decision point, found out I had cancer... I suppose this was the 'black funk". A week of worry and thinking about possible outcomes.
1. Operation to be successful, and treating the crisis as a "blip"? Go back and continue the budding new career?
2. Even with a successful operation, probability that the cancer would return, leaving DW with a nightmare of debt.

Decided to not go forward. Three months of recovery time, of soul searching time. Time to look into the possibilities for future. Go back to working for someone else to insure a safe future, or to do a deep review of our wants and needs, to see if it might be possible to retire? Then at age 53, made the decision to try retirement... knowing that it would be a toss-up for success.

The fallback was, that if retirement didn't work out, there would still be time to recover by returning to a different field, likely at a lower wage. Easy to say this now, but that was probably the most difficult time of our lives. We made the final decision together.

Successful? Not for us to say, but the past 28 years of retirement have been extraordinarily happy, for which we are eternally grateful.

 

[rayinpenn]

?
Successful? Not for us to say, but the past 28 years of retirement have been extraordinarily happy, for which we are eternally grateful.

Thanks for sharing I am a sucker for a happy ending...

 

[W2R]

We have a conversation in person and she tells “I am in a funk” and “look what happened to Jill we don’t have forever”. I agree but change from 3 days a week to 4 (until the holidays).

I just cannot even begin to grasp the mindset in which an important life decision like when to retire, is essentially thrown to the winds and relegated to the vagaries of one's mood.

Just not consistent with how I do things.

 

[rayinpenn]

I just cannot even begin to grasp the mindset in which an important life decision like when to retire, is essentially thrown to the winds and relegated to the vagaries of one's mood.

I think you are over simplifying- how does one make make a rational decision about retiring?

Do I have a big enough pile? Yes
Will I miss the work? No
Would i like to do some things before I cross the rainbow bridge? Yes
Am i living or existing? The latter.

Having read this blog for ages i can tell you many have said the bureaucracy became overwhelming.. I couldn’t stand another day. The ability to retire -that is having the funds likely impacts your willingness to deal with the nonsense... also the loss or serious illness of a loved one gets one to thinking just how much time is left...

Like someone said Do you want to be the richest guy in the graveyard?

 

[Teacher Terry]

Ray, I think many people just expect to work until 65 until something happens that really makes them examine whether they can or not. In other words they are taking themselves off of auto pilot.

 

[athena53]

I think you are over simplifying- how does one make make a rational decision about retiring?

Do I have a big enough pile? Yes
Will I miss the work? No
Would i like to do some things before I cross the rainbow bridge? Yes
Am i living or existing? The latter.

I walked out on my last day only a week after calling DH on a Friday afternoon and telling him, "I think I'm going to quit my job on Monday", We talked about it over the weekend and that's what I did. No regrets at all 3.5 years later although I deplore the people behind the toxic politics that led to my decision.

 

[W2R]

I just cannot even begin to grasp the mindset in which an important life decision like when to retire, is essentially thrown to the winds and relegated to the vagaries of one's mood.

Just not consistent with how I do things.

I think you are over simplifying- how does one make make a rational decision about retiring?

Do I have a big enough pile? Yes
Will I miss the work? No
Would i like to do some things before I cross the rainbow bridge? Yes
Am i living or existing? The latter.

Having read this blog for ages i can tell you many have said the bureaucracy became overwhelming.. I couldn’t stand another day.

Not me. It was not such a touchy-feely decision in my case.

I knew my retirement date almost immediately; it was the first day that I would qualify for retirement. I decided that come h*ll or high water, I was going to be ready to retire on that date because I owed it to myself. I was absolutely, fanatically determined, and I made it happen. No need for an emotional breakdown or mood assessment.

Call that "over simplification" if you wish, but that is how I do things. When things happen (like Katrina), I just double down and do what I need to do.

 

[harley]

I think you are over simplifying- how does one make make a rational decision about retiring?

How can anyone be anything BUT rational about retiring? You listed a number of variables, and there were many others. And while I was nervous about it, I had analyzed everything that could be analyzed and came to what I think was highly rational decision to go. I was also nervous before I got married, but that doesn't mean I didn't want to do it. Major changes are pretty much always scary, but you do them anyway. I wish I could have analyzed being married as rationally as I did retiring, but sex was not one of the variables in retirement.

 

[Koolau]

Heh, heh, I had all my ducks in a row but was still enjoying my j*b. I had w*rked myself into a position I loved and could have stayed a while longer. When I was informed I would be moved to something I detested doing, I didn't wait for a "black funk" to develop. I just quit and walked out. No fuss, no muss, no funk - just a quick "good bye" to the people I cared about and out the door. Since I was financially independent by this time, it was all very easy, so YMMV.

 

[DrRoy]

I waited longer than I really needed to so DW would be comfortable without my paycheck. It's been great since RE.

 

[rayinpenn]

Not me. It was not such a touchy-feely decision in my case.



I knew my retirement date almost immediately; it was the first day that I would qualify for retirement. I decided that come h*ll or high water, I was going to be ready to retire on that date because I owed it to myself. I was absolutely, fanatically determined, and I made it happen. No need for an emotional breakdown or mood assessment.



Call that "over simplification" if you wish, but that is how I do things. When things happen (like Katrina), I just double down and do what I need to do.

W2R

What makes each of us throw the retirement switch is different. Some like yourself have a ‘plan’. Others like me will likely head off to work and step into a slushy puddle and have it get my sock wet and Ill say “thats the last straw”. In my SIL’s case I believe her sock is already wet and cold.

Years ago one of the first winners of the lotto was an electrician working in the WTC. He went back to work and was screwing a lightbulb into a fixture up on a ladder. He thought to himself why am I doing this? I believe some of his colleagues also said to him “why don’t you quit so someone who needs a job can have one.” He quit.

For some of us the time comes when we ask ourselves that same question...

 

[REWahoo]

“why don’t you quit so someone who needs a job can have one.”

Good question - why don't you?