More arguing after ER?

Wait til the company leaves and then take a long hot soapy shower together.....

DONT TALK just shower!!!

See what happens!!!!!
 
Hopefully your family is just suffering a bit of temporary lifestyle transition pains and things will smooth out for you with new routines. Good luck to you.
 
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This kind of bickering, etc can strike at other times. We moved into a smaller house in November after 20 years in the other one. Jan 1, 2014, I semi retired. We had some real shouting matches over all kinds of stuff. But, we are too old and too wise to let things like that permanently affect us.

Like others said, try to work things out where it benefits both of you. Life is short, don't waste it.
 
I am not there yet, but I do have some concern that my wife may have too many suggestions about how I spend my time. She is a SAHM, so I also think about me "invading" her turf. We don't fight all that often, but it isn't all that pretty when it happens. May be a factor when I approach the OMY territory.
 
razztazz said:
Mrs Brewer might ask herself the same question.
Click to expand...

Perhaps, but the only person you can control is yourself. If you change and your partner still is no fun to live with, then some decisions need to be made. If you're not willing to change and see if it has a positive impact, forget about it.
 
Sesq said:
I am not there yet, but I do have some concern that my wife may have too many suggestions about how I spend my time.
Click to expand...

Hey, I see that you're just sitting around wasting time on the computer. Why don't you run the vacuum around the living room? ;)
 
aja8888 said:
This kind of bickering, etc can strike at other times. We moved into a smaller house in November after 20 years in the other one. Jan 1, 2014, I semi retired. We had some real shouting matches over all kinds of stuff. But, we are too old and too wise to let things like that permanently affect us.

Like others said, try to work things out where it benefits both of you. Life is short, don't waste it.
Click to expand...

Agreed. We had a discussion that cleared the air and worked some stuff out. A big part of the problem is that just as I left the salt mine she had a huge influx of business in her private practice that had her working full time or more. Instead of getting some long-awaited time together, I had to be full time with the kids and the house while she worked. The surge has subsided and she is getting more disciplined about pushing client appointments into dedicated blocks of time. We will probably get this all sorted out just in time for the disruptions of the kids being out of school for the summer, but so be it.
 
Brewer, Glad to hear you two are working this out, sure beats going back to work:cool:
 
Letj said:
I don't think they are helpful for children either; they give children ideas and make them think of things that they may not otherwise think about. It's not always a good strategy to focus internally. Some things are better left untended. I had one asked my daughter, who I had taken to her because of focus issues in school, if she ever contemplated suicide. How asinine is that? Even if the child is not thinking about it, well just maybe the therapist would give them ideas.
Click to expand...

Heh. I gotta wonder how asinine your daughter thought it was, or knowing your impression how willing she was to talk to you about it. Loss of focus and intense depression resulting in thoughts of suicide are often related in teens. We've been dealing with loss of focus with Youngest for three years, and he recently admitted he's been thinking of offing himself for the past 18 months. Counselor told us yesterday, at our first session, that this is a normal combination. Not much I would not do for my kid, including paying for someone safe for him to talk to, someone who will not judge what he says and will help him think it through. If he wants to share those discussions with us, fabulous. If not, that's OK too.

For goodness sake, don't shut off communication with your kid by being judgmental.
 
Anyone else getting licensed social workers ads showing up in the paid ads at the top of this thread? Man, its amazing how the internet tracks everything now.
 
Newventurer said:
Anyone else getting licensed social workers ads showing up in the paid ads at the top of this thread? Man, its amazing how the internet tracks everything now.
Click to expand...

I am getting a Bass Pro "Crappie Madness '14" ad, which is kind of the same thing.
 
My child and I have a great relationship. She did not have behavior that concerned us as yours obviously had. Her only issue is that she's never found school very interesting from an early age and so is not very focused on it. She'd rather cook, sing and bake all day long. Her teacher thought it might be helpful to talk to a counsellor about her lack of motivation for school. No need to dissect my post and label it as judgmental without knowing all the facts. In your child's situation that line of questioning may have been warranted. I still maintain that counsellor's are a waste and sometimes can do more harm than good. A troubled child just needs a trusted adult whether that's a teacher, family friend, their parents or a minister but of course that does not benefit the ever expanding pychobable industry. In the spirit of full disclosure, I spend much of my life living among peoples and cultures who did not seem to need psychologists to solve every problem. Their social connections seemed to help in that regard.
 
Letj said:
My child and I have a great relationship. She did not have behavior that concerned us as yours obviously had. Her only issue is that she's never found school very interesting from an early age and so is not very focused on it. She'd rather cook, sing and bake all day long. Her teacher thought it might be helpful to talk to a counsellor about her lack of motivation for school. No need to dissect my post and label it as judgmental without knowing all the facts. In your child's situation that line of questioning may have been warranted. I still maintain that counsellor's are a waste and sometimes can do more harm than good. A troubled child just needs a trusted adult whether that's a teacher, family friend, their parents or a minister but of course that does not benefit the ever expanding pychobable industry. In the spirit of full disclosure, I spend much of my life living among peoples and cultures who did not seem to need psychologists to solve every problem. Their social connections seemed to help in that regard.
Click to expand...
Or so, knowing your bias, your kid lets you think. Kids are amazing at hiding their feelings, if they even recognize what those feelings are. 10 days ago, I would have said we had a great relationship with our kid too, and indeed the only visible issue was lack of focus in school. Heck, we thought he had ADHD, until we finally wrestled it out of him. They only let you know what they want to let you know, and will hide from you things that they know will hurt you. Some parents only find out their kid is thinking about suicide when they find them dead. You stated it was BS that a counselor asked her if she had thoughts about suicide when you brought her in for lack of focus. We have been told there is a statistical correlation. If there is no correlation for you and yours, fantastic, but I could not let your judgmental statement pass without comment in the event someone else is dealing with this issue. It would have been really nice to have a clue a while back, instead of believing that his lack of focus was simply hormones and teenage push back.

We are in way over our heads with this one, and are thrilled to pay a third party, one whose feelings Youngest does not have to worry about hurting, to help navigate these deep waters. We are smart enough to know we don't know everything.
 
brewer12345 said:
I am getting a Bass Pro "Crappie Madness '14" ad, which is kind of the same thing.
Click to expand...

I'm not getting any ads in the pages....I feel deprived. Am I being singled out? Do I need counseling? a different browser?

Thanks for the reminder, I need to clean up my tackle box!:facepalm:
 
aja8888 said:
I'm not getting any ads in the pages....I feel deprived. Am I being singled out? Do I need counseling? a different browser?

Thanks for the reminder, I need to clean up my tackle box!:facepalm:
Click to expand...
I am sure if you disable your adware you will get to be one of the group. Not seeing them either, but I don't get ads on most of my websites.
 
Whatever works for you. Your situation and mine are completely different and if you can't see that, well there isn't much I can say to you. Some children, in this case my child, don't have much interest in some academic subjects. It's just the way some children's brains are wired. My child loves math and science and does particularly well in those areas and dislikes/unmotivated in just about any other subjects. We thought she was ADD but the Counselor was not so sure and said to us you're doing all the right things.
 
aja8888 said:
I'm not getting any ads in the pages....I feel deprived. Am I being singled out? Do I need counseling? a different browser?

Thanks for the reminder, I need to clean up my tackle box!:facepalm:
Click to expand...

I get some, there in a non - latin based character set. I have no idea what their trying to sell me. Heck, maybe they're telling me the house is on fire. Maybe I need a bass boat? That's it, I definitely need the boat!
MRG
 
Letj said:
Whatever works for you. Your situation and mine are completely different and if you can't see that, well there isn't much I can say to you. Some children, in this case my child, don't have much interest in some academic subjects. It's just the way some children's brains are wired. My child loves math and science and does particularly well in those areas and dislikes/unmotivated in just about any other subjects. We thought she was ADD but the Counselor was not so sure and said to us you're doing all the right things.
Click to expand...
I don't care about your specific situation. I care about your biased statements dissuading other parents from making the documented correlation between distracted in school and thoughts of suicide. The counselor was right to ask your daughter if she had considered it,whether or not it turned out to be applicable to her specific situation. He was not encouraging her to consider commit suicide by "planting" the idea in her head.

Hoo and rah if it does not apply to you. Don't belittle it because it may very well apply to someone else, particularly one who is blindsided by the situation because kids are a crap shoot.
 
brewer12345 said:
Agreed. We had a discussion that cleared the air and worked some stuff out. A big part of the problem is that just as I left the salt mine she had a huge influx of business in her private practice that had her working full time or more. Instead of getting some long-awaited time together, I had to be full time with the kids and the house while she worked. The surge has subsided and she is getting more disciplined about pushing client appointments into dedicated blocks of time. We will probably get this all sorted out just in time for the disruptions of the kids being out of school for the summer, but so be it.
Click to expand...
Glad to hear things are working out.

Some of my fondest memories are camping in the Colorado mountains in a small pop-up camper with the kids and DW. If I heard right, one of the kids up at the ranch got his first deer last summer. I think he is 10. I would be looking forward to the summer if I were in your shoes. Personally, I'll be doing some 4-wheeling this summer. Life doesn't get much better than that!
 
InParadise said:
I don't care about your specific situation. I care about your biased statements dissuading other parents from making the documented correlation between distracted in school and thoughts of suicide. The counselor was right to ask your daughter if she had considered it,whether or not it turned out to be applicable to her specific situation. He was not encouraging her to consider commit suicide by "planting" the idea in her head.

Hoo and rah if it does not apply to you. Don't belittle it because it may very well apply to someone else, particularly one who is blindsided by the situation because kids are a crap shoot.
Click to expand...

Let's not hijack this thread any further. I call a cease fire but I have to say I don't appreciate your condescension to other parents. They are smart enough to make their own decisions and to accept or reject what I said. The last time I checked I was free to have an opinion on what I feel including about the psychobable industry. I did not anticipate I would be picking a fight with you when I posted my opinion.
 
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