New girlfriend dilemma

[Nemo2]

I met one, dated her for 18 months and am now running in the other direction

Yup......my first thought was I'd get a name change and join the Witness Protection program.

 

[LakeTravis]

Personally, I'd find a new girlfriend.

 

[youbet]

Overall, the ex is a pompous, obnoxious loser...........................Personally, I have never met the man

Just the fact that you're describing this guy so emotionally and based only on descriptions from his long time ex wife (your recent GF) indicates you really need to back out of being involved in her dealings with him. They go back a long, long way and you're relatively new to the scene.

Since "Mr Pompous" (as you refer to him) and his ex have been divorced for 15 years, the three girls are likely adults, or at least late teens, no? Does that mean the $80k of owed back child support and not necessarily for the three girls direct benefit now? Is the intent of collecting the past due child point at this stage to provide "the ex" with some substance to supplement her income from employment at the non-profit? Or is it for the direct benefit of one or more of the girls who might still be a minor and living at home?

 

[Moemg]

I & many of my friends were single Mom's and frankly child support is usually sporadic . We used to joke that they would have to show up with a new car for us to even get close to their missed payments . Your girlfriend has a choice either rack it up to a jerk or move on and forget about it .Those divorce agreements are only good to line bird cages with and hard to enforce .

 

[haha]

I & many of my friends were single Mom's and frankly child support is usually sporadic . We used to joke that they would have to show up with a new car for us to even get close to their missed payments . Your girlfriend has a choice either rack it up to a jerk or move on and forget about it .Those divorce agreements are only good to line bird cages with and hard to enforce .

It is kind of much to expect someone who has no ongoing relationship with his ex, to pay her child support for former children the youngest of whom that he might be father to could not be less than 15, and alimony too. Is he an annuity?

The wife was certainly young enough to train and get a good job, so that at
least she could do some of the supporting. She would be doing this if they were still married, and he would be a day to day parent which is something that most divorced fathers miss more than anything.

The ages of these child support children have not been mentioned anywhere.

Ha

 

[Space Mountain]

Thanks again for the comments from folks.

I realize my GF is in an ongoing volatile situation. Frankly, I wanna see her get paid.......FOR HER.

Essentially, what bothers me is that her ex REGULARLY gambles on slot machines in casinos. Just HOW can the court ignore this My GF told me that her prior attorney claimed even if she proved he gambled, it wouldn't help her case. WHAT!!!!! I find this hard to believe and was hoping perhaps there was someone in here with a legal opinion on that. I would GLADLY pay for a private detective to tape his gambling if it would do some good. Furthermore, why not have the courts gain access to his win/loss statements from particular casino property?

For the record, I am NOT stressed over this. Really. I could always walk away, if needed. Just wanna see justice prevail.

 

[aja8888]

The courts hate divorces as there is not much money in it for them. It's the attorneys' who really make out. I don't know what state you are in, but some state courts are more aggressive than others when dragging a non-paying ex into court.

In Texas, it's easy to get a divorce, but God help you if you fall behind in child support (no alimony here).

 

[Space Mountain]

The courts hate divorces as there is not much money in it for them. It's the attorneys' who really make out. I don't know what state you are in, but some state courts are more aggressive than others when dragging a non-paying ex into court.

In Texas, it's easy to get a divorce, but God help you if you fall behind in child support (no alimony here).

She lives in NJ as does her ex.

 

[nvestysly]

Has she considered Divorce Court

I don't know if the judge handles old cases (i.e. previously divorced) that involve back payments but it looks like a funny show if you like that kind of thing.

Maybe watching the show will allow her to see there are worse situations and maybe she can move on if that's possible.

All of this is said with tongue in cheek.

 

[retiredatfifty]

I wouldn't waste money on an attorney for something that has been going on for this long - I'd let the State child support enforcement system take care of it - but encourage her not to give him any breaks or cut him any slack whatsoever in that process.

I've had a little experience over the years working with a couple of State child support enforcement divisions .... biggest complaint some of those workers had is that in some cases every time they go to bring the hammer down on a serial violator, he makes an emotional appeal to the ex-spouse & the ex-spouse lets him off the hook by discountinuing their cooperation in the process. (she's not been in the habit of giving him breaks on the matter through the years, has she?)

New Jersey does have sanctions for non-payment of child support (see link). I'd advise her to work aggresively within that system and otherwise go on with her life. I'm assuming she's been to this website? NJ Child Support - Enforcement: Making sure child support gets paid

(Either that .... or hire the Sons of Anarchy to pay him a visit )

 

[2B]

In Texas, it's easy to get a divorce, but God help you if you fall behind in child support (no alimony here).

No "alimony" but I've seen some severe "separate maintenance" decrees that look a lot like it. I'm not sure how aggressively they are enforced by the courts. I know if I missed child support payments (not ever divorced so only in theory) I'd lose my drivers license and PE license.

BTW, have you retired?

 

[2B]

I realize my GF is in an ongoing volatile situation. Frankly, I wanna see her get paid.......FOR HER.

For the record, I am NOT stressed over this. Really. I could always walk away, if needed. Just wanna see justice prevail.

I sense that your GF is looking for her "knight in shining armour" to rescue her. After 15 years she should have moved on. She shouldn't even let you get caught up in the issues with her ex and you shouldn't get involved. You've screwed up. The next step is where you tell us about your psyco ex-GF.

 

[WestLake]

Too much drama. She has found an ally in her 15-year "war". I'd rather be single!

 

[Ticker]

"Essentially, what bothers me is that her ex REGULARLY gambles on slot machines in casinos. Just HOW can the court ignore this My GF told me that her prior attorney claimed even if she proved he gambled, it wouldn't help her case."

In my state if you hit a nice jackpot, the casino is required to check a list of dead beat spouses to see if any back child support is owed. If so, they don't pay you the $$$$, but give it to the state for disbursement. (After taxes, of course.)

 

[haha]

Too much drama. She has found an ally in her 15-year "war". I'd rather be single!

Yeah, this is my favorite take home about marriage. You best friend, lover, constant companion, becomes your implacable enemy.

What fun!

Ha

 

[Lsbcal]

Yeah, this is my favorite take home about marriage. You best friend, lover, constant companion, becomes your implacable enemy.

What fun!

Ha

Apparently you are not a buy and holder Ha.

 

[brett]

MYOB. Do not get involved. It will only lead to friction between you.

 

[frayne]

A take away about divorce, based on a Latin word meaning to rip a man's genitals out through his wallet.