Poll: Curmudgeons - Nature or Nurture?

[NW-Bound]

A question on my mind is if one is aware he / she is becomming a curmudgeon. I suspect not, which would reinforce your thought that it is not you.

Did you see my earlier post about introversion brings self-awareness to curmudgeons?

What I meant was that I am sure I have become more curmudgeony. But so do other people around me. I know what's happening to me because I am introverted, but my relatives may not know what's happening to themselves because they are extroverted.

I try to spend my time where there are always people of all ages.

So far, my children have not avoided me. That would have given me some signals to watch out for.

 

[Amethyst]

Sure, in some cases. Just like some old guys grow moobs and their bottoms spread (I still don't understand what drove your "model" to dress up in 1950's drag )

Here is a thought which you have inspired: Perhaps the sexes are meant to become more like each other with age, to the point where younger people can't tell us apart. But that should tend to make us less grumpy, as there would no longer be any need for the so-called war between the sexes!

Wait a minute. I have heard of old women growing mustache. Could it be?

 

[NW-Bound]

Still denying that the scowling person in the photo is indeed a woman, I see.

But I will acknowlege your point that geezers of both sexes tend to lose their sexual distinction as they age. Men tend to grow, ahem, some body parts as you noted, while women grow facial hair, shrink above said body parts, etc... Would the above make us less grumpy as we all look the same? Hell no. I have not grown anything new yet (better go check), but just thinking of the possibility makes me grumpy already. And what battle of the sexes? I thought curmudgeons are indiscriminately cranky with everybody, young, old, men, women...

One thing is for sure. Sociologists and anthropologists who surf this forum have been given plenty of theories from us to prove or disprove, if they run out of ideas of their own to conduct study.

PS. How can you be sure of someone's sex? I remember a couple of scenes from "Crocodile Dundee", when he could not be sure of the sex of the person he was just introduced to. So, he just moved closer to perform a physical check with his hand. I searched youtube but could not find that scene. Hope people still remember what I am talking about.

 

[freebird5825]

I generally tend to ignore button-pushers and cranks. If they persist, one of my favorite 'warning shot over the bow' statements, delivered in a nice low flat tone, is...
"I'm a nice person until I'm provoked."
I follow that up with a huge smile.

I do not consider myself a curmudgeon. I'll balance the rest of the grouches out.

 

[HFWR]

I generally tend to ignore ... cranks.

And here all this time I thought you liked me...

 

[NW-Bound]

I do not consider myself a curmudgeon. I'll balance the rest of the grouches out.

Oh, we all know you are not a curmudgeon. And I thank you.

As for me, I am a self-admittedly cranky person (see my earlier posts). But here on this forum, since I do not know any of y'all in person, I have not been bothered by anyone's post.

I often feign indignation, or tease someone to get an exchange going. It could be fun. But it appears that people quite often do not get it, and thought I was really mad, or that I was mean. Oh, life is too short for that crap! But it shows that one must understand his audience when attempting humor.

 

[Nords]

My siblings have agreed with me that my mom has changed. So, that's one thing in my favor.

On a more serious note, I wonder if this sort of behavioral change could be caused by a shifting of body chemistry similar to depression.

Maybe "depression" is the wrong word from the clinical perspective. I agree that there are plenty of reasons to get grumpy about aging. But perhaps the body tries to force that process along by no longer creating enough of the right kinds of endorphins or seritonins or whatever's appropriate.

I wonder if it's as easy as a shot from the "Optimism Gun":
The Practical Benefits of Outrageous Optimism | Mr. Money Mustache

 

[freebird5825]

And here all this time I thought you liked me...

Take 10 points.

 

[NW-Bound]

On a more serious note, I wonder if this sort of behavioral change could be caused by a shifting of body chemistry similar to depression.

Maybe "depression" is the wrong word from the clinical perspective. I agree that there are plenty of reasons to get grumpy about aging. But perhaps the body tries to force that process along by no longer creating enough of the right kinds of endorphins or seritonins or whatever's appropriate.

I wonder if it's as easy as a shot from the "Optimism Gun":
The Practical Benefits of Outrageous Optimism | Mr. Money Mustache

Maybe my mother's health has something to do with it, but I feel that it is not the case. I think it's more with getting older. But heck, how does one separate the effects of aging and deteriorating health, as they go together?

I read the "Optimism Gun" article. I prefer to be a realistic person, and not so optimistic.

Anyway, I truly believe people all get grumpier as they age. And curmudgeoness is not a binary state, but a matter of degrees. We all get more impatient and cranky as we age.

But one can be ill-tempered and in a very bad mood without really being a curmudgeon (not that we have really defined that term). I will give an example as follows. This is a cranky guy who is not really a curmudgeon, and someone I never was, am, or ever will be.

We went to Home Depot today to buy some bags of manure to prepare for fall planting. As we waited in line at the cash register, there were two persons in front of us. There was some problem, and the customer being served was there for quite a bit longer than it should have taken.

Another customer came up behind me. He immediately complained that there was only one cash register open (this was at the garden/outdoor area). As this guy had only one item in hand, my wife signaled to me that we should let him go ahead of us. I nodded in agreement, and told the guy to go ahead. He thanked us.

When this guy got to the cash register, he wanted to pay for something that was out in front of the store, out at the curb actually. The cashier had problems looking it up on the computer. This guy was a foreigner, and we had some difficulties understanding him. Still, while he was getting more and more impatient and started to raise his voice with the cashier, we heard he said "On sale, Potting soil, 99c".

So, my wife and I looked at each other as we shared the same thought. Heck, we wanted to get some of that cheap potting soil too. So, we left our cart and took a quick walk outside to see what it was.

It was simply another pallet of the same bags of manure that we just picked up from back of the store. It was not potting soil, not on sale, and the price was 97c, not 99c. No wonder the clerk had problems looking it up. Meanwhile, this cranky and impatient customer was fuming.

So, we walked back in, and told the clerk that he could simply scan the bags of manure that we had in our cart, instead of looking up something that did not exist.

Good grief. Cranky as I could ever be, I would not be so impatient and ill-tempered, and made a fool of myself, particularly when I was all wrong to start out with. By the way, he was about mid-50, our age.

Amazingly, the cashier remained cool throughout all this.

 

[MichaelB]

On a more serious note, I wonder if this sort of behavioral change could be caused by a shifting of body chemistry similar to depression.

Experience with family members leaves me no doubt this is at least one cause of grumpiness in older folks. A decline in hearing and vision makes it difficult to follow conversations, add a little vascular dementia and we have someone who could easily be called a curmudgeon. Tragically, these are conditions that can be treated and at least some of the symptoms relieved.

 

[MichaelB]

As for me, I am a self-admittedly cranky person (see my earlier posts). But here on this forum, since I do not know any of y'all in person, I have not been bothered by anyone's post.

I often feign indignation, or tease someone to get an exchange going. It could be fun. But it appears that people quite often do not get it, and thought I was really mad, or that I was mean. Oh, life is too short for that crap! But it shows that one must understand his audience when attempting humor.

FWIW, I've not noticed any curmudgeonly behaviour in you. I also suspect that a curmudgeon in a face to face situation will be even more so online where there is no feedback or body language to warn us to be careful.

 

[ronin]

This is my excuse.

 

[NW-Bound]

FWIW, I've not noticed any curmudgeonly behaviour in you.

Can I quote you to tell my relatives, my wife included, that I am not that bad a curmudgeon?

On 2nd thought, no. They would say "So? You are just friendlier with your internet buddies than with us". But I thank you for the comment.