workburnout
Recycles dryer sheets
UPDATE (LONG):
Someone asked for an update. My niece has been in 9th grade at boarding school a few days now. She loves it so far and it seems to be working out. Time will tell how she does with her grades there, but so far, so good.
To recap some of what I said earlier, she is going to a college prep school that's somewhat competitive - I read somewhere that it accepts about between 60-70 percent of applicants - so not one of the ultra competitive boarding schools. But they do not accept kids with a lot of behavior issues or severe disabilities they are not set up to handle. She has always gotten all A's in public school but she came from an easy school - so the work at her private school will be more challenging. However, she has more one-on-one attention and much smaller classes at her new school, to help her get through any academic challenges.
When we first got there we planned to stay 30 min but ended up staying 4 hours - she wanted us to - until the time all parents and family were requested to leave. She was very happy to be there - wanted us to stay until the last minute to walk around with her - and a little clingy of her mom which is typical for her - but she was not upset when we left which was good. She did not pass gas the whole time we were there, at least not that I could smell.
After check-in, her roommate arrived about 3 minutes before her and got the bottom bunk leaving her with the top - but that works out because, as my niece's mom pointed out, there is a large vent right above her where any gas she passes while she's up there should hopefully go.
Her roommate is local, and had been going to the school as a day student already several years. She switched to boarding because her mom works late nights.
Roommate seems into fashion and a little snobby and not someone my niece would be best friends with. My niece is more down-to-earth and could care less about brand name purses, etc, and has a totally different personality than the roommate in other ways. But, niece said they got along ok. Even though they won't hang out a lot, she likes that the roommate is not loud and obnoxious, and as far as being roommates they get along, which is good. Next year she will get to choose her roommate as she will know a lot of people.
As I mentioned earlier, she has a math learning disability. Her math class - Algebra I - which is the lowest they offer for 9th grade - has only 5 students besides her in it. They don't offer remedial classes but with the daily extra tutoring the school has in math - which she already signed up for - and the small class size - she should be ok in the regular class. They require 4 yrs of math - so hopefully they will keep her in very small classes and tutor her a lot throughout the 4 yrs she's there.
The other classes she's in are bigger but she said the largest was 16 students. In her old school she rarely had classes less than about 30.
As mentioned earlier, she has an issue due to some sort of visual processing learning disability with leaving letters out of words and messy handwriting - which was obvious when she wrote answers to questions they had to post on the wall - for everyone in the dorm to see. Like, what is your name, where are you from etc. Example, leaving a letter off the name by mistake. My sister and I quietly corrected her - niece was glad and corrected her errors - but we aren't around to do that anymore. It was hard to read her writing but you could decipher it - if you studied it.
Her teachers should all have a copy of her doctor report - outlining her disabilities - which will help them to help her. Now that she can type - after my sister and I worked with her on that - she can communicate a lot better on papers/tests ect. They allow use of laptops for taking notes, and most kids - even without disabilities - use them, rather than taking notes longhand. Most kids there do not have disabilities - they only accept them if it's relatively minor and the kid can pass an entrance exam showing they can do average or above work.
The content of her writing is excellent - if you look past the messy handwriting and huge amount of misspellings of basic words. Using spell check helps her a lot.
She already likes all her teachers - they are in her opinion better than the ones she had in public school. They have a ton of staff for her small dorm - and we met several - I was impressed as they were very organized.
It was cleaner and more organized than most college dorms I've seen.
Chore chart was on the wall - they rotate chores like cleaning the bathroom and vacuuming. Demerits are given for infractions such as messiness and being late - it's all listed on the wall. Many positive messages are posted on the walls - it is a motivational environment. Laundry room right there - and they have set days they wash clothes - and make sure they know how to operate the machines.
She asked dorm staff (who also teach classes) about taking AP classes which is good - as we had told her she can ask anything unlike her old school where it was considered a bother if you asked too many questions.
We had already told her you normally do not take AP classes until 11-12th grade, as they are college level. But she still asked again- and they told her the same thing -that it was rare for a 9th grader to take those classes and 10th graders occasionally took them.
They do have some advanced classes - not AP - and they will put her in those if they see she would benefit. They do not have a limit on how many kids can be in advanced or AP classes - unlike her public school where they limited numbers who could take any advanced class due to funding.
She is very good in reading or writing type classes so I can see her taking advanced English/history type classes - but that will be the school's decision.
There had been an issue in her public school where she qualified to take advanced English but could not due to lack of space - as she was not "gifted enough" even though she was really good at English and tested very high on standardized tests in that area. Her mom tried to complain but nothing she said worked and her mom gave up trying.
Niece told me she was thinking she would take AP math to get it out of the way so she has less math to take in college. She did not understand how it works - people who take AP math usually want to take more advanced math in college - and you really have to be good in math to take that class.
She was tested a year behind in math last year, and AP math would be crazy overwhelming for her. They would not put her in it anyway, but hopefully they will explain how it works. She did not understand when I explained it, or her mother, but I think eventually she will once she asks more questions at the school.
The best thing is she is very motivated to do well and she is open to asking a lot of questions which she needs to do to learn how things work there.
It is far better for her, than public school - and I'm not against public school by any means- I'm just saying in her situation it was not a good fit.
Also they have a motivational rule - where if you make honor roll you can leave study hall every day early to socialize with friends. I know that she will try for honor roll harder with that rule - she loves hanging out with friends.
When we left she could not find any new students to hang out with - the ones there all knew each other and ran off to hang out together - however she met a lot of new friends the first night - in her dorm - who are into singing and playing guitar. She loves sitting around singing so that was a great start.
She said a few days later she is having so much fun there.
She does not even want to come home for Oct break, but has to as she has an orthodontist appt.
She said she does not want visitors for the first few weeks which is a good sign - she wants time to adjust. Her grandparents on both sides plan to go visit in about 5-6 weeks. I am going up there a different day for a fundraising luncheon they are having - but not to visit her. I may see her briefly and drop off a little care package for her (box of chocolate which she loves) but my plan is not to bother her or ask questions other than, "how are you." I may not even see her when I go for the luncheon. I will leave it up to her but i have a feeling she will want to stick with her schedule - which is very structured - and not spend time visiting.
She is trying to make it her own little world, where she can develop her own friends and "family" away from home, and not have family come up there too often. She will come home in Oct a few days for a break and for Thanksgiving and Christmas breaks. She basically has a break almost every month where she will be home. She does want us to visit for any plays or chorus events she is in, which won't be for a while, probably. She could not take chorus, which she loves as she has some real singing talent, due to no room in her schedule this year. But she will take chorus every year starting next year.
So if she does pass gas and bother her roommate, they will need to get the dorm mother involved or work it out between them. So far there have been no issues. My sister has been great about keeping my mom and I in the loop - passing along any information she gets from the school. So far, nothing has been reported to her, other than niece told us about how she likes it. In a few more days or weeks my sister will get an emailed update, I forget exactly when that is - but she will let me know.
My sister is very glad she is gone, can tell as she scheduled all this "partying" at events her and husband are going to in upcoming days and weeks.
She made her room into an office already. Niece does not seem to care - she is happy to be at school. So I think if she stays motivated, things will work out, and she can work past any challenges. I was amazed at the amount of staff they have - teachers in the dorms, and everywhere you turn people asking if they could help in any way or saying hello. It was far more positive than the environment she's now in, and way more interactive with people who seem to care far more than in her public school.
The fact she is there with kids who want to learn - many who are used to the private school environment already - is already influencing her behavior for the better.
I am convinced she will mature and grow into a responsible person - ready for college and beyond - at her school, with the positive role models - tons of them were everywhere both times I visited.
The list of positives goes on and on.
So, time will tell - but it seems like a great fit for what she needs and wants for high school.
I do feel like the money is worth it - I am generally very frugal but in this case I splurged helping with room and board cost- and so far do not regret it.
I always felt bad I was unable to help my sister when we were younger - she had huge issues with paying for her college tuition and I had a free ride - as my father ran out of money by the time he got to her. We both would have benefited greatly from private high school for various reasons - but due to my father's drug use and other family issues we were put in public school and some private college - we had a lot of other family issues too long to get into here. Basically, there was a lot of abuse - constant screaming and verbal insults in our household - and my father had a good amount of money - but wanted us at home I guess so he had more control over anything that happened. Even negative things he liked control - but then we ran wild certain times when he was off doing drugs and other things. Long story, and it's all in the past, but it does affect how my sister and I act - more protectively - towards niece.
Niece has it far better than we had it - even at her house which is not a great environment but not horrible.
We did not live up to our potential we could have as adults - and I struggled a lot more than I would have in life and my career in my 20's and early 30's. I was able to learn about money and investing so have done pretty well financially - but it was a huge struggle that, had things been different in high school and college, would have been somewhat unnecessary.
It would have been better for me, had I had my niece's opportunity of private boarding school. Same with my sister. She'd be a totally different person and more responsible parent, had she not grown up with hard drugs being done around her as a child and teenager.
I feel good I'm able to help her daughter - for that and the fact her daughter is a good kid with a lot of promise - can go far if she does not have to deal with the stress her mom did as a teenager and young adult.
Her stepfather and mom were making some comments right before she went to school - some things they said were helpful and others were very unhelpful - but I kept my mouth shut. Niece listens to a lot they say - and gets wrong information -some things they do make no sense - and hurt her education - such as telling her studying is low priority. She will no longer hear that barrage of negative, unhelpful comments at her school.
I will update this in a few weeks or months - or whenever anything major changes.
Someone asked for an update. My niece has been in 9th grade at boarding school a few days now. She loves it so far and it seems to be working out. Time will tell how she does with her grades there, but so far, so good.
To recap some of what I said earlier, she is going to a college prep school that's somewhat competitive - I read somewhere that it accepts about between 60-70 percent of applicants - so not one of the ultra competitive boarding schools. But they do not accept kids with a lot of behavior issues or severe disabilities they are not set up to handle. She has always gotten all A's in public school but she came from an easy school - so the work at her private school will be more challenging. However, she has more one-on-one attention and much smaller classes at her new school, to help her get through any academic challenges.
When we first got there we planned to stay 30 min but ended up staying 4 hours - she wanted us to - until the time all parents and family were requested to leave. She was very happy to be there - wanted us to stay until the last minute to walk around with her - and a little clingy of her mom which is typical for her - but she was not upset when we left which was good. She did not pass gas the whole time we were there, at least not that I could smell.
After check-in, her roommate arrived about 3 minutes before her and got the bottom bunk leaving her with the top - but that works out because, as my niece's mom pointed out, there is a large vent right above her where any gas she passes while she's up there should hopefully go.
Her roommate is local, and had been going to the school as a day student already several years. She switched to boarding because her mom works late nights.
Roommate seems into fashion and a little snobby and not someone my niece would be best friends with. My niece is more down-to-earth and could care less about brand name purses, etc, and has a totally different personality than the roommate in other ways. But, niece said they got along ok. Even though they won't hang out a lot, she likes that the roommate is not loud and obnoxious, and as far as being roommates they get along, which is good. Next year she will get to choose her roommate as she will know a lot of people.
As I mentioned earlier, she has a math learning disability. Her math class - Algebra I - which is the lowest they offer for 9th grade - has only 5 students besides her in it. They don't offer remedial classes but with the daily extra tutoring the school has in math - which she already signed up for - and the small class size - she should be ok in the regular class. They require 4 yrs of math - so hopefully they will keep her in very small classes and tutor her a lot throughout the 4 yrs she's there.
The other classes she's in are bigger but she said the largest was 16 students. In her old school she rarely had classes less than about 30.
As mentioned earlier, she has an issue due to some sort of visual processing learning disability with leaving letters out of words and messy handwriting - which was obvious when she wrote answers to questions they had to post on the wall - for everyone in the dorm to see. Like, what is your name, where are you from etc. Example, leaving a letter off the name by mistake. My sister and I quietly corrected her - niece was glad and corrected her errors - but we aren't around to do that anymore. It was hard to read her writing but you could decipher it - if you studied it.
Her teachers should all have a copy of her doctor report - outlining her disabilities - which will help them to help her. Now that she can type - after my sister and I worked with her on that - she can communicate a lot better on papers/tests ect. They allow use of laptops for taking notes, and most kids - even without disabilities - use them, rather than taking notes longhand. Most kids there do not have disabilities - they only accept them if it's relatively minor and the kid can pass an entrance exam showing they can do average or above work.
The content of her writing is excellent - if you look past the messy handwriting and huge amount of misspellings of basic words. Using spell check helps her a lot.
She already likes all her teachers - they are in her opinion better than the ones she had in public school. They have a ton of staff for her small dorm - and we met several - I was impressed as they were very organized.
It was cleaner and more organized than most college dorms I've seen.
Chore chart was on the wall - they rotate chores like cleaning the bathroom and vacuuming. Demerits are given for infractions such as messiness and being late - it's all listed on the wall. Many positive messages are posted on the walls - it is a motivational environment. Laundry room right there - and they have set days they wash clothes - and make sure they know how to operate the machines.
She asked dorm staff (who also teach classes) about taking AP classes which is good - as we had told her she can ask anything unlike her old school where it was considered a bother if you asked too many questions.
We had already told her you normally do not take AP classes until 11-12th grade, as they are college level. But she still asked again- and they told her the same thing -that it was rare for a 9th grader to take those classes and 10th graders occasionally took them.
They do have some advanced classes - not AP - and they will put her in those if they see she would benefit. They do not have a limit on how many kids can be in advanced or AP classes - unlike her public school where they limited numbers who could take any advanced class due to funding.
She is very good in reading or writing type classes so I can see her taking advanced English/history type classes - but that will be the school's decision.
There had been an issue in her public school where she qualified to take advanced English but could not due to lack of space - as she was not "gifted enough" even though she was really good at English and tested very high on standardized tests in that area. Her mom tried to complain but nothing she said worked and her mom gave up trying.
Niece told me she was thinking she would take AP math to get it out of the way so she has less math to take in college. She did not understand how it works - people who take AP math usually want to take more advanced math in college - and you really have to be good in math to take that class.
She was tested a year behind in math last year, and AP math would be crazy overwhelming for her. They would not put her in it anyway, but hopefully they will explain how it works. She did not understand when I explained it, or her mother, but I think eventually she will once she asks more questions at the school.
The best thing is she is very motivated to do well and she is open to asking a lot of questions which she needs to do to learn how things work there.
It is far better for her, than public school - and I'm not against public school by any means- I'm just saying in her situation it was not a good fit.
Also they have a motivational rule - where if you make honor roll you can leave study hall every day early to socialize with friends. I know that she will try for honor roll harder with that rule - she loves hanging out with friends.
When we left she could not find any new students to hang out with - the ones there all knew each other and ran off to hang out together - however she met a lot of new friends the first night - in her dorm - who are into singing and playing guitar. She loves sitting around singing so that was a great start.
She said a few days later she is having so much fun there.
She does not even want to come home for Oct break, but has to as she has an orthodontist appt.
She said she does not want visitors for the first few weeks which is a good sign - she wants time to adjust. Her grandparents on both sides plan to go visit in about 5-6 weeks. I am going up there a different day for a fundraising luncheon they are having - but not to visit her. I may see her briefly and drop off a little care package for her (box of chocolate which she loves) but my plan is not to bother her or ask questions other than, "how are you." I may not even see her when I go for the luncheon. I will leave it up to her but i have a feeling she will want to stick with her schedule - which is very structured - and not spend time visiting.
She is trying to make it her own little world, where she can develop her own friends and "family" away from home, and not have family come up there too often. She will come home in Oct a few days for a break and for Thanksgiving and Christmas breaks. She basically has a break almost every month where she will be home. She does want us to visit for any plays or chorus events she is in, which won't be for a while, probably. She could not take chorus, which she loves as she has some real singing talent, due to no room in her schedule this year. But she will take chorus every year starting next year.
So if she does pass gas and bother her roommate, they will need to get the dorm mother involved or work it out between them. So far there have been no issues. My sister has been great about keeping my mom and I in the loop - passing along any information she gets from the school. So far, nothing has been reported to her, other than niece told us about how she likes it. In a few more days or weeks my sister will get an emailed update, I forget exactly when that is - but she will let me know.
My sister is very glad she is gone, can tell as she scheduled all this "partying" at events her and husband are going to in upcoming days and weeks.
She made her room into an office already. Niece does not seem to care - she is happy to be at school. So I think if she stays motivated, things will work out, and she can work past any challenges. I was amazed at the amount of staff they have - teachers in the dorms, and everywhere you turn people asking if they could help in any way or saying hello. It was far more positive than the environment she's now in, and way more interactive with people who seem to care far more than in her public school.
The fact she is there with kids who want to learn - many who are used to the private school environment already - is already influencing her behavior for the better.
I am convinced she will mature and grow into a responsible person - ready for college and beyond - at her school, with the positive role models - tons of them were everywhere both times I visited.
The list of positives goes on and on.
So, time will tell - but it seems like a great fit for what she needs and wants for high school.
I do feel like the money is worth it - I am generally very frugal but in this case I splurged helping with room and board cost- and so far do not regret it.
I always felt bad I was unable to help my sister when we were younger - she had huge issues with paying for her college tuition and I had a free ride - as my father ran out of money by the time he got to her. We both would have benefited greatly from private high school for various reasons - but due to my father's drug use and other family issues we were put in public school and some private college - we had a lot of other family issues too long to get into here. Basically, there was a lot of abuse - constant screaming and verbal insults in our household - and my father had a good amount of money - but wanted us at home I guess so he had more control over anything that happened. Even negative things he liked control - but then we ran wild certain times when he was off doing drugs and other things. Long story, and it's all in the past, but it does affect how my sister and I act - more protectively - towards niece.
Niece has it far better than we had it - even at her house which is not a great environment but not horrible.
We did not live up to our potential we could have as adults - and I struggled a lot more than I would have in life and my career in my 20's and early 30's. I was able to learn about money and investing so have done pretty well financially - but it was a huge struggle that, had things been different in high school and college, would have been somewhat unnecessary.
It would have been better for me, had I had my niece's opportunity of private boarding school. Same with my sister. She'd be a totally different person and more responsible parent, had she not grown up with hard drugs being done around her as a child and teenager.
I feel good I'm able to help her daughter - for that and the fact her daughter is a good kid with a lot of promise - can go far if she does not have to deal with the stress her mom did as a teenager and young adult.
Her stepfather and mom were making some comments right before she went to school - some things they said were helpful and others were very unhelpful - but I kept my mouth shut. Niece listens to a lot they say - and gets wrong information -some things they do make no sense - and hurt her education - such as telling her studying is low priority. She will no longer hear that barrage of negative, unhelpful comments at her school.
I will update this in a few weeks or months - or whenever anything major changes.
