Weddings

[Khan]

I checked FEHB and i said I can add within 30 days.

http://www.opm.gov/healthcare-insurance/life-events/memy-family/im-getting-married-or-remarried/

 

[Ready]

Khan,

I don't know why, but I feel like every time you post on this subject there is far more that you are not telling us than anything you are sharing. Maybe I'm wrong, but it sounds like there is something nagging at you about this whole thing and you are hoping the community here can somehow help you make sense out of all of this.

If I'm wrong, just feel free to ignore me...

 

[Bestwifeever]

You could always have the wedding in the location where most of your guests live to make it convenient for them.

 

[haha]

Khan,

I don't know why, but I feel like every time you post on this subject there is far more that you are not telling us than anything you are sharing. Maybe I'm wrong, but it sounds like there is something nagging at you about this whole thing and you are hoping the community here can somehow help you make sense out of all of this.

If I'm wrong, just feel free to ignore me...

No, this could not be true.... No one would do that!

 

[Texas Proud]

What could go wrong with this picture


Well Khan, someone might suspect fraud... I know that if you marry someone who is not a US citizen in order for them to get benefits such as a green card or even citizenship, that is fraud....

Don't know why you are doing it, but just the little you mention has a big red flag flying in front of me...


If it is convenience, then why have it at a place that will cost so much.... just have it local and you to take a vacation where you want to be.... much cheaper....

 

[Khan]

He is a USA resident and citizen. Wedding will be in Pine Island Florida because that is where he lives and where I will live. Am setting up financials so if he dies first or we end up hating each other, I will go to assisted living and/or he will maintain SS/medicare.

 

[Texas Proud]

He is a USA resident and citizen. Wedding will be in Pine Island Florida because that is where he lives and where I will live. Am setting up financials so if he dies first or we end up hating each other, I will go to assisted living and/or he will maintain SS/medicare.

So it sounds like you are getting more of the help in this arrangement....

As to your original question.... if it were someone that I wanted to be at the wedding and they did not have the funds and the cost of getting them there is 'small' for me.... I would easily pay to get them there... no question in my mind....

 

[MRG]

Heck yes, picking up a family members transportation, lodging etc. is no big deal. If they don't have the resources, and it's not a problem for you, all is fine. As with all things family, discretion is good.

I've been to Pine Island, for BIL/SIL wedding. At the time we had nothing, FIL gifted us 2 tickets to Ft. Myers and we stayed with FIL/MIL. BIL/SIL never knew, and wouldn't have cared.
Best wishes,
MRG

 

[HFWR]

That too, but I don't pay for it.

I don't [-]always[/-] pay cash for it, but somehow there always seems to be a cost...

 

[ERD50]

Marriage is for SS and medicare and assisted living and health/car insurance.
A business arrangement with pre-nup and mission statements

I hope this doesn't come across as rude, I'm actually quite serious, but since this sounds more like a 'business arrangement', why would anyone care to attend the wedding? It just doesn't sound like the kind of thing that guests would enjoy, if it isn't an actual celebration of love, not an emotional thing.

Just do it if you have determined it is right for you. JMO.

Maybe there is an emotional component as well, and you just haven't communicated that?

-ERD50

 

[Khan]

I would prefer to just live together. I consider health insurance and SS and medicare and possibly survivor benefits to be an investment in DIY assisted living.
I suppose we love each other; I have visited for increasing amounts of time (next will be all January).
Sex is nice even when one is over 60.
I'm only inviting two or three people.
If you're going to be near Ft Myers in April and can play guitar, contact me and maybe I'll pay you to be on the boat (and will feed you).

 

[HFWR]

If you're going to be near Ft Myers in April and can play guitar, contact me and maybe I'll pay you to be on the boat (and will feed you).

Tempting, though I'm not sure I know any tunes appropriate for the occasion...

 

[Khan]

Tempting, though I'm not sure I know any tunes appropriate for the occasion...

Jimmy Buffett?

 

[HFWR]

Jimmy Buffett?

Yep, know a few. Then there's Hank Jr.'s (I Like to Have) Women I've Never Had...

 

[mystang52]

Since this intended marriage is a "business arrangement" paying for attendees' flights or hotel would seem to be wasted money. Keep the costs down, or invite them but no promise to pay for their travel.

 

[ERD50]

Originally Posted by Khan View Post
If you're going to be near Ft Myers in April and can play guitar, contact me and maybe I'll pay you to be on the boat (and will feed you).

Tempting, though I'm not sure I know any tunes appropriate for the occasion...

C'mon HFWR, I'm sure a quick google will come up with some appropriate joyous, celebratory songs with the terms "Marriage SS medicare "assisted living" " health insurance" "car insurance" "business arrangement" "pre-nup" "mission statements" "

Just kiddin' Kahn - I wish all the best for you and the groom.

-ERD50

 

[HFWR]

C'mon HFWR, I'm sure a quick google will come up with some appropriate joyous, celebratory songs with the terms "Marriage SS medicare "assisted living" " health insurance" "car insurance" "business arrangement" "pre-nup" "mission statements" " Just kiddin' Kahn - I wish all the best for you and the groom. -ERD50

I bet Steve Goodman could have done it...

 

[ERD50]

I bet Steve Goodman could have done it...

I'm a huge Steve Goodman fan, probably saw him a dozen times in small clubs around Chicago back in the day, can't believe I didn't think of that!

For those who didn't get the joke, it's a reference to the song written by John Prine and Steve Goodman, later recorded by David Allan Coe :

You Never Even Called Me by My Name - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

The song is most notable for its satirical final verse, preceded by a recitation in which Coe explains that "a friend of mine named Steve Goodman" wrote the song and considered it "the perfect country and western song."[3] However, Coe told him that it was not the perfect country song because it "hadn't said anything at all about mama, or trains, or trucks, or prison, or getting drunk."[4]

Goodman then proceeded to add the final verse, incorporating all five of Coe's requirements but completely unrelated to the rest of the song (the first line of the verse, for instance, is "I was drunk, the day my Ma got out of prison"), whereupon Coe agreed that now it was "the perfect country-and-western song."[2]

The full added verse:

Well, I was drunk the day my Mom got outta prison.
And I went to pick her up in the rain.
But, before I could get to the station in my pickup truck
She got runned over by a damned old train.

Live, Goodman would improvise on that verse (he improvised on everything!) - I seem to remember 'dogs' being added to the verse, as that's another country cliche theme.


Here's a link with a Goodman (appropriately silly) improv, including dogs and farms:

The Perfect Country Song | The Real Mr. Heartache


Another funny thing, John Prine was too embarrassed by the silly added verse so he declined song writing credit and lost out on the considerable royalties from the Coe version which was a mild 'hit'. But Goodman and Prine were good friends, and Goodman bought Prine a mint condition collectible old Wurlitzer jukebox as a gift.

Now, back to wedding plans....

-ERD50

 

[MBAustin]

Khan, if you would like a few friends to join you for the occasion and a short visit to (hopefully) sunny Florida, by all means offer to pay some of their expenses. Just be specific about exactly what you are paying for and when practical, pay for it yourself rather than reimbursing them (you can buy airline tickets for someone else, and make / prepay hotel reservations as well).

At this age, I think any excuse to get together with distant friends is a good thing. Enjoy!