Weddings

[splitwdw]

Well, that's being "optimistic".. ha Probably $3.5K for 14 (including us) is more likely but we're trying our darndest to spend more !!

That includes three B&B rooms for two nights for our elderly parents and her inlaws. And we want to give little mementos to the guests for coming. Any ideas in that regard ?

I suggested a bunch of those "I went to Koogies wedding and all I got was this lousy t-shirt"

That got vetoed for some reason, so I gave up... ha

Inlaws? She's already got inlaws?
Memento gift, a picture frame with a funny pic of the two of you.

 

[Koogie]

Doh... her relatives, not inlaws. Getting ahead of myself, lol. I do like some of these ideas !

 

[Bestwifeever]

There's a big fan club hereat E-r.org for Thermopen cooking and grilling thermometers--they come in pretty colors too, perhaps to coordinate with the wedding color scheme?

 

[Koogie]

There's a big fan club hereat E-r.org for Thermopen cooking and grilling thermometers--they come in pretty colors too, perhaps to coordinate with the wedding color scheme?

Thanks, great idea. Isn't that the one they recommend on Americas Test Kitchen ?

I am unaware of a color scheme. Which isn't to say there isn't one. I shall inquire !

 

[Sarah in SC]

Classic man! OF COURSE there is a color scheme! Lol!
It might make it easier if you decide whether you are giving a gift to each couple, or to men and women separately for gift ideas. Something special from your new town is nice, and edibles are always popular, perhaps in a nice box that has your names and the date on it.

 

[Bestwifeever]

Once you got flowers, you got yourself a color scheme!

 

[pullmyfinger]

Mine was more in the range of five to ten dollars. The best man wore jeans, as did the bride; the judge wore white spats. That was 37 years ago. The judge's parlor at his house had a plastic Space Needle on the mantle in lieu of flowers.

I love this. My wedding 9 years ago cost about $120. $60 for the license, and $60 for the judge. We took the bus to the courthouse downtown. We already had bus passes so I didn't factor that into the cost. Unfortunately the courthouse has a view of the jail!

 

[Newventurer]

I am retired. Just survived my only daughter getting married. She is my daughter, wife's stepdaughter, first of four potential marriages, two mine, two hers. So we knew we were establishing a precedent in how we chose to handle. We decided to give her the $7k we could afford up front and let her decide how to use. Her mother was also a source of $'s. The key in my opinion is to get in front of things as quickly as possible. Don't wait till all the plans are made and then have the disappointment because whatever you give is not enough at that point. Tell them up front what you can afford and they have that number in mind while planning. Hard to set boundaries with strong emotions at work and some choose not to (ex) but that is not my problem. One down .

 

[jjquantz]

Late to the party again but...

What we did with both of our daughters weddings was to give them $10K up front for costs and then cost share every dollar over $10K at 50%. This let them have as large a wedding as they wanted, but, because they had skin in the game, they weren't going to go overboard. Then for the first Christmas after they were married we sent a check to them that was almost the amount that they put into the cost. Just sort of a "getting started" gift, you know.

 

[Danmar]

Late to the party again but...

What we did with both of our daughters weddings was to give them $10K up front for costs and then cost share every dollar over $10K at 50%. This let them have as large a wedding as they wanted, but, because they had skin in the game, they weren't going to go overboard. Then for the first Christmas after they were married we sent a check to them that was almost the amount that they put into the cost. Just sort of a "getting started" gift, you know.

That sounds like a great way to do it. As I said earlier, we set a budget for our daughter's wedding before any cimmittments were made. She has mostly stuck to it and any overruns are acceptable. The whole thing is quite stressful though. A bit worried about having to deal with my first wife, daughter's mother, at the wedding. I am sure it will be fine, but still stressful.

 

[Newventurer]

Survived the mother of the bride, ex wife thing, whew! The pictures will be where it gets awkward. My wife and I were placed next to ex and her husband. The photographer says, "there seems to be an opening between you guys" ya right! Have to just suck it up and get through it for DD. The promise I made myself was that I would not do anything that would bring attention to myself or embarrass her. Mission accomplished.

 

[Koogie]

Classic man! OF COURSE there is a color scheme! Lol!
It might make it easier if you decide whether you are giving a gift to each couple, or to men and women separately for gift ideas. Something special from your new town is nice, and edibles are always popular, perhaps in a nice box that has your names and the date on it.

As it turns out, it is something called "Mauve" I am reliably informed by Google that that is some shade of purple. Funny, I thought it was a 70s sitcom..

My father-in-law is taking care of flowers. Here's hoping the poor old fella can find some "mauve" ones

Nice ideas as well. Since it's just our immediate family we have a mix of oldsters, siblings and young nieces. Probably a good idea to get something different for the gents and ladies.

 

[athena53]

My father-in-law is taking care of flowers. Here's hoping the poor old fella can find some "mauve" ones

Freesia, hydrangea, lilacs, some rose varieties.

And they can also start with white flowers and spray them any color you want. Anything's possible if you throw enough money at it.

 

[Keim]

I proposed in 1994. When my future FIL-A frugal man that retired early-found out he took his daughter aside and offered her $4000 to elope. We didn't, but took that as the approximate limit for wedding expense. We had a very nice rehearsal dinner at a local restaurant, ceremony at our church, and reception at a local B and B for our 100 guests.


My parents-also somewhat frugal-gave us $500 towards a honeymoon. We-also frugal-spent a long weekend in a nearby city and banked the $100 leftover.

 

[Walt34]

I love this. My wedding 9 years ago cost about $120. $60 for the license, and $60 for the judge.

The license fee reminded me - when DW and I were engaged the fee for the marriage license had just been raised from $20 to $25, the extra $5 going to spousal abuse programs. I had seen a notice of that at work.

Anyway, I mentioned that to the clerk at the courthouse and she responded that few people knew about it. Then I asked "Does that mean I can beat her since I already paid?"

She was most definitely NOT amused. Some people just don't appreciate warped humor....

 

[LinCella]

I remember my parents telling me that our relative's Italian weddings in Brooklyn would be more in the $40k-50K mark. I told them I'd rather have the money for a down payment on a house! (never married so they lucked out...)

 

[Koogie]

Freesia, hydrangea, lilacs, some rose varieties.

And they can also start with white flowers and spray them any color you want. Anything's possible if you throw enough money at it.

They spray paint flowers now ?!?!?! OMG. There is a gulf of stuff out there men never learn about. So, to save my FIL money could I pick the dandelions in our front yard and just use my spray can of Tremclad on them ? Lol

 

[Sarah in SC]

Koogie, I will now refer you to the old joke about brides and old dogs!
See, the chasm is deep and wide. Trust us on this, all you need to say is "that sounds wonderful" as many times as is needed!

 

[GreenER]

In 2002 we were both about 40. We paid about $2500 for the entire wedding and had almost 100 guests. Rented a lovely rustic hall and a large picnic shelter in a nearby state park. Outdoor ceremony with a stunning back drop. Minimalist decorations other than those provided by mother nature. Side dishes prepped the day before by my family and friends. Barbecue day of by friends with wine and beer. Great local band and dancing in the hall. Cake provided by my parents. Flowers by my gardening friends. Pictures by a photographer friend and disposable cameras. All gifts to charity as we were two established households. Cabin in the state park for us that night and many friends camped at the park. It was lovely and I wish I'd had more time to enjoy it. I'm still told by many attendees that it wad a truly great celebration.

 

[Koogie]

Koogie, I will now refer you to the old joke about brides and old dogs!
See, the chasm is deep and wide. Trust us on this, all you need to say is "that sounds wonderful" as many times as is needed!

I don't think I'll google that joke. Wouldn't want to be halfway through telling it at the wedding before I remember the punchline...

"Yes, Dear" that's just a Man 101 skill...

 

[Sarah in SC]

Another good tip for a toast to your bride: never, ever, ever try to be funny. I'll spare you the story of my dad, at their 50th anniversary party, attempting to tell a joke at the expense of my mom. Not pretty. Sooooo not pretty.

Smart man like you already knows the yes, dear.

 

[Walt34]

Smart man like you already knows the yes, dear.

I was taught that at a very early age.

BTW, the British version is "Yes, m'love".

Any combination will work just fine.

 

[Gumby]

Around here, I say "Aye, Cap'n".