What do you do to be treated nicely?

[MichaelB]

This is not at all a new idea, but I think people will treat you as nicely as you treat them. Sure, sometimes one's a jerk (I certainly am), but in the long run things get cemented.

+3

I always say thank you. But generally I am pretty invisible so nobody treats me nicely or not.

Did someone say something?

 

[clifp]

+2

I try to be nice to people as much as I can and to maintain a sweet, positive disposition.

It's hard sometimes.

Get off my lawn - YouTube

I find that pointing a gun at someone while doing my best Clint Eastwood impersonation pretty much guarantees that I am treated nicely and respectfully. At least while the gun is drawn

 

[FreeAtLast]

I try to treat people nicely. I listen to their stories. I always try to attend a social gatherings when invited. I do not get upset if I am not included. I try to help out when the person is in need. I rarely give unsolicited advice.

I try my best but sometimes circumstances make it difficult.

 

[Bestwifeever]

+3

Did someone say something?

Thank you.

 

[Major Tom]

+1
My waitress Kitty called me "Honey", "Darlin' " and "Hun" at various points during the meal. I gave her a nice tip.)

From time to time, I am called "sweetie" and "hon" by cashiers in local stores and love it. These types of greetings have a ring of old-world charm about them. It makes me feel happy when a relative stranger greets me that way. We need to keep more of these older traditions alive in our world

 

[redduck]

I notice when someone walks down the street with their huge rottweiler every one they encounter is on their very best behavior: lots of smiles and no sudden movements. Well, maybe an involuntary and unwanted sudden movement if someone becomes startled and scared at the same time.

 

[pb4uski]

I find that pointing a gun at someone while doing my best Clint Eastwood impersonation pretty much guarantees that I am treated nicely and respectfully. At least while the gun is drawn

At least until the cars with the flashing blue lights arrive.

 

[Amethyst]

Yep. Bodyguard effect. Perhaps every small, frail, lonely older person needs a large, respect-inducing dog.

Amethyst

I notice when someone walks down the street with their huge rottweiler every one they encounter is on their very best behavior: lots of smiles and no sudden movements.

 

[haha]

Yep. Bodyguard effect. Perhaps every small, frail, lonely older person needs a large, respect-inducing dog.

Amethyst

Trouble is, old frail people with big aggro dogs are hazardous to themselves and others. Not sure what the answer is. Once society gets rough things get rough, and roughest for the most vulnerable which definitely includes the old. Still, an amazing number of old, frail and sometimes whacky men and women who are alone get along fine. Where I used to live I would see an old lady bent over so badly that she had difficulty seeing anything other than the sidewalk right ahead of her. Yet she walked around, did her shopping with one of those little pull carts, and seemed to be quite self sufficient. These people amaze me with what they can handle. Imagine being blind and crossing a street! They know full well that some of the morons in cars are texting, running from the law, drunk or otherwise impaired.

I think it really helps if there is a strong church in the neighborhood, and the old man or woman becomes a member-even better if they do this while he or she still can participate fully.

Ha

 

[Amethyst]

My experience is that church is just another pecking order, where everyone is assigned roles based on age and sex and expected to play them.

In that context, if an old person needs and gets help, it is not given unconditionally just because it's from a church. Instead, it constitutes a gateway to the inevitable "You really need to..." and "isn't it time you..." all fully discussed behind your back with other church members first.

Amethyst

T

I think it really helps if there is a strong church in the neighborhood, and the old man or woman becomes a member-even better if they do this while he or she still can participate fully.

Ha

 

[FUEGO]

Smile, eye contact, acknowledge others' existence, firm handshake, good posture, confident walk, act like you know what you are doing and are supposed to be there. Be polite to others, listen, respect them, have deference to others when appropriate. Say please and thank you. When talking to an adult stranger, give them a title (like Sir or Ma'am) even (especially?) if you feel they are "beneath" your social standing.

Maybe these rules only apply in the South? I have described the charismatic "good ole boy" that seems to climb to the top of the dung heap (socially and politically, particularly on the right), often without real merit other than charm.

 

[Bob Adams]

My experience is that church is just another pecking order, where everyone is assigned roles based on age and sex and expected to play them.

In that context, if an old person needs and gets help, it is not given unconditionally just because it's from a church. Instead, it constitutes a gateway to the inevitable "You really need to..." and "isn't it time you..." all fully discussed behind your back with other church members first.

Amethyst

Good point! I've experienced the same thing in churches and it was a real turnoff for me. There are a lot of folks with agendas in those places. Many times I felt guiltier after church than I did before. Still though, I think that ha has a point and that churches can provide community (however dysfunctional) and that gets more important as we age.

 

[grasshopper]

Smile, eye contact, acknowledge others' existence, firm handshake, good posture, confident walk, act like you know what you are doing and are supposed to be there. Be polite to others, listen, respect them, have deference to others when appropriate. Say please and thank you. When talking to an adult stranger, give them a title (like Sir or Ma'am) even (especially?) if you feel they are "beneath" your social standing.

Maybe these rules only apply in the South? I have described the charismatic "good ole boy" that seems to climb to the top of the dung heap (socially and politically, particularly on the right), often without real merit other than charm.

This is really hard, but a great lesson to learn. If you met the supreme being at the grocery store, would you recognize the divine nature? You just never know what you may bump into.

 

[Larro Darro]

I forgot to mention good grooming. That is the reason I shave every Friday, if I need it or not. And I also pick out the very best thrift store shirt from my closet. It is important to me for people to see a poor, hard working fellow. Not the lazy, well heeled man I really am. {I do buy good shoes}

 

[MichaelB]

Lynyrd Skynyrd - Simple Man (with lyrics) - YouTube

 

[W2R]

This is really hard, but a great lesson to learn. If you met the supreme being at the grocery store, would you recognize the divine nature? You just never know what you may bump into.

Yes! In response I cannot resist posting one the most moving songs of all time, for this agnostic anyway:

Joan Osborne - What if god was one of us Lyrics - YouTube

 

[ER Eddie]

A lot of people are saying be nice to others and they'll be nice to you. Yeah, okay, but ... you can be a "nice guy" and end up getting disrespected (or worse) because of that niceness. Sometimes it's better to have a little edge, a little growl in you.

Personally, I try to not care very much what others think of me. I always thought that was one of the perks of getting old.

 

[bolt]

Ummmmm.... treat others like you'd like yourself to be treated?

 

[Letj]

Personally, I try to not care very much what others think of me. I always thought that was one of the perks of getting old.

+1
I too care very little what others think of me. It does help that I am no longer interested in promotions at work. I strive to treat others with respect and to be courteous as much as possible. That's all I want in return. I don't care to have personal relationships with people I work with. Like most people, I prefer to hang out with people I like and I am comfortable being around.

 

[MBAustin]

I have found that looking for opportunities to do "random acts of kindness" results in more kindness back to me than I have given. That plus the golden rule is a great recipe.

And thanks to W2R for that great video - God is among us and will show up if we just let her

 

[MasterBlaster]

""What do I do to be treated nicely ?""

I find that when I wear my blue blazer, the one with gold buttons and a gold anchor emblem, that peoplle are always nice to me. That is especially true if I wear my captains hat and ascot.

Maybe you could dress like that.

 

[In-control]

I treat people the way I expect to be treated. Except when I pay for something. Then I expect people to meet the expectations that were agreed to. If they don't then I am a cranky fellow - leaning on logic and basic fairness while not loosing my cool.

I always end up a winner.

 

[pb4uski]

....I always end up a winner.

Is that you Charlie? (Sheen)

 

[In-control]

Is that you Charlie? (Sheen)

HA - Nope - Just another FI dude -