What have you utterly failed on (or failing)?

[longranger]

Very thought provoking thread. Can relate to many of the failings listed. My personal top 2 are:

1) Failing to give myself a pat on the back or an attaboy for successes. Guess my mind assumes anything but success is failure.

2) Inability to take pride, happiness and enjoyment from successes even if they are really important to me and those I love.

3) Not a psychiatrist but I think this resulted from the way I was raised. Taught to feel shame for not reaching my goals and taught to feel shame for feeling full of myself when I did. So guess my central regret is not finding a way to overcome this basic impediment.

 

[REWahoo]

Hanging wallpaper.

 

[steelyman]

Hanging wallpaper.

You just lost a part time job at my place, Butch. Just keep thinkin', that's what you're good at

 

[Lsbcal]

I don't like that word ... FAILURE. Yuck.

I have been bad at some things. Take baseball. I didn't quite get into the major leagues. Was pretty decent player with the guys on our block. Then Little League came around. Got on a championship team but my batting average was 0.000. I did hit one foul ball, so not a complete failure.

Now I enjoy watching the Giants play against the Dodgers. Last night was a bad one though.

I did find a sport that I could do, running. Ran track and cross country in high school. Still running 40 years after college. The squirrels and wild turkeys think I'm amazing.

 

[steelyman]

Foul balls don't count against you. You can't get a -0.150 batting average. I tried! (but I was an outfielder and pitcher).

 

[Moscyn]

I too don't like the word failure. Am just bad or disinterested in some things like maintaining friendships with people in my school or college days. Also am unable to maintain good health throughout my adult years - it's always rotating illness for each different part of my body every year. Now I have to see the ophthalmologist next week because of eye issues. And I work hard at maintaining my health but I just have poor genes!

 

[jetpack]

Failed at finding a significant other as in girl friend or wife. Been successful enough at
business to retire early. Probably spent a few too many hours working.. I guess I still
have time.... maybe

 

[nuke_diver]

Don't mind the word failure...it's part of being human

I did fail at my first marriage and to this day I cannot tell you why. However I believe that I succeeded spectacularly with the 2nd (20 years this Oct).

I also failed on my 1st 5year plan to retire...and my second and 3rd..and 4th (I'm a good communist apparently 5year plans never work out right )

I think I'll hit it finally on my 5th so success is imminent

I will for sure fail to be as good of a guitar player as I would like to be (which is David Gilmour/Brian May/Tommy Emmanuel) level. But I won't give up either

I gave up golf when I tore up my shoulder...so I don't have to worry about failing there now

 

[nuke_diver]

Apparently I failed to keep this thread going as well

 

[Animorph]

Hey, I finally remember something I failed big at!

I tried fixing our garage door once, the kind with the big horizontal spring that helps lift the door vertically. I needed more lifting force, so I figured I'd tighten the spring. I started loosening a screw and it sent my wrench flying across the garage when the spring unwound. I hired a pro to fix things back up. Lucky I didn't get hurt.

My memory protects me from any other failures I may or may not have had.

 

[MRG]

Hey, I finally remember something I failed big at!

I tried fixing our garage door once, the kind with the big horizontal spring that helps lift the door vertically. I needed more lifting force, so I figured I'd tighten the spring. I started loosening a screw and it sent my wrench flying across the garage when the spring unwound. I hired a pro to fix things back up. Lucky I didn't get hurt.

Those things really can kill people. Your failure may have saved your life!

 

[Ally]

My failure that I still struggle with is controlling my anxiety and worry, especially in social or work group situations. My anxiety really bothers me some days, I thought I'd grow out of it by now, but apparently not!


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[robnplunder]

In our 1st year of club golf, DW and I finally won a golf tournament (100% handicap, 2 person best ball) so I thought. Alas, I've added up the score wrong and got us DQ'd. Golf has been a utterly failure sport for me. When I finally do something positive playing golf, I get DQ'd b/c I've added up the numbers wrong. I should have used a calculator.

 

[Chuckanut]

Golf. Just can't do it right.

 

[Lucantes]

Failed to start to quit smoking. I always seem to be able to justify delaying it a wee bit longer every time I consider it. Have a deal with my wife to quit before we retire, but that is still 2-3 years away and I know I only agreed to it because it is way off in the horizon. This is a failure that really bothers me as I know I am doing nothing but harm to myself.

I do not look back at any other previous "failures" as I know that if I would have "succeeded" then I wouldn't be the same person who I am today and other than the smoking thing I kinda like who I am, where I fit in the world and what I have achieved so far.

 

[urn2bfree]

Failed to start to quit smoking. I always seem to be able to justify delaying it a wee bit longer every time I consider it. Have a deal with my wife to quit before we retire, but that is still 2-3 years away and I know I only agreed to it because it is way off in the horizon. This is a failure that really bothers me as I know I am doing nothing but harm to myself.

I do not look back at any other previous "failures" as I know that if I would have "succeeded" then I wouldn't be the same person who I am today and other than the smoking thing I kinda like who I am, where I fit in the world and what I have achieved so far.

Not sure you are asking for any advice, so I apologize if this is unwelcome. Most of the successful quitters I know don't try to quit smoking for the rest of their lives, they just try to see if they can skip the next cigarette. They make a personal study of what happens to them when they do NOT light up that next cigarette. What do they feel? What happens to that feeling as time goes on WITHOUT lighting up? How long does it take until that feeling that makes them want a cigarette goes away? They generally find that while lighting up would make that feeling go away fastest, it still will,go away without lighting up and usually in less than 15 minutes. And every time you do go without lighting up, it gets easier and shorter. Within a few days cravings become rare.
BUT WAIT!!!
Most people get to this point and still the majority end up going back to smoking....why? Because they are lulled into a false sense of security....they find themselves ambushed by a craving. Sometimes it is an unexpected stress. Other times it is a routine thing-they see someone enjoying a cigarette somewhere, or if they always had one with coffee or something, it will hit them while enjoying a coffee. Whatever it is they get the idea that now that they quit, it would be OK to have "just one." It is not. It is never OK to have "just one." Because one is just the first of many more to come. But it still boils down to this simple task...You are not quitting for the rest of your life...you just try to concentrate on quitting for the next 15 minutes.


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[braumeister]

Most of the successful quitters I know don't try to quit smoking for the rest of their lives, they just try to see if they can skip the next cigarette.

Sounds like good advice.
In my case, I wasn't that granular; just the old "one day at a time" approach.
I found that if I could get through the day, I got a feeling of accomplishment that had value.
I started this effort smoking over two packs a day, so it was a real struggle.

The surprising thing was that after only about three weeks I had completely lost the urge. Haven't had one since that day, which was 40 years ago.

 

[Lucantes]

Don't mind the free advice, and don't disagree with it either.

For me the real problem has been actually making the conscious decision to actually try and quit, basically I still haven't yet reached the point where I have decided "I am going to quit smoking" and until I do I think I will have no chance of a successful attempt (basically I need to decide to decide?).
Friend of mine just recently did the hypno thingie, and it appears to have worked for him 100%, he says he hasn't even thought about smoking since and he feels nothing when he sees someone smoking or any smoking related things (I have no interest in this avenue however, for me I think I need to do it the old fashioned way for me to actually accomplish the task and have some type of closure over the issue (or maybe that is just a stalling tactic also? )).

 

[jetpack]

Public speaking. I've tried giving so many speeches, but it's really just not for me.