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Old 02-18-2008, 03:16 PM   #41
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For me, the negatives of stress caused by constantly having to monitor everything I say and do lest I cause offense, (and by having to try to read someone's mind so I can know in advance what will cause offense in a constantly changing context) far outweighs any positives I can think of.
Not trying to convince you otherwise, but this is exactly the opposite of what I look for in my relationships. I far prefer to work towards being comfortable enough to say anything (and not feel like monitoring) in front of my partner, and have them do the same. If one of us gets offended, it's that person's issue and not a judgement on the other.* Of course, it's impossible to keep this in mind all the time, but I find the rewards of trying are worth it.

* That doesn't mean we don't argue or try to resolve things we disagree upon, just that we try not to make it a blame thing.
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Old 02-18-2008, 03:18 PM   #42
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Well, she was sort of paying you by deferring the cost of divorce.
LOL. I need comedy today, thanks.

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Old 02-18-2008, 04:22 PM   #43
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LOL. I need comedy today, thanks.

Ha
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Old 02-18-2008, 05:13 PM   #44
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LOL. I need comedy today, thanks.
Anytime Ha...cuz...I love you, man!
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Old 02-18-2008, 05:23 PM   #45
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Not trying to convince you otherwise, but this is exactly the opposite of what I look for in my relationships. I far prefer to work towards being comfortable enough to say anything (and not feel like monitoring) in front of my partner, and have them do the same. If one of us gets offended, it's that person's issue and not a judgement on the other.* Of course, it's impossible to keep this in mind all the time, but I find the rewards of trying are worth it.

* That doesn't mean we don't argue or try to resolve things we disagree upon, just that we try not to make it a blame thing.
One of the things I love about not being married and not living together, is that we only get together when both of us want to. We've been in a committed relationship for years, and yet we haven't really had reason to have a knock down, drag out argument. No reason to. We get together to have fun and to enjoy sharing our lives and each others' company. Are we still in the "honeymoon phase" of this relationship, after all these years? Could be, but I am eternally optimistic.

I really do think that many people need to spend more of their time alone than they do, in order to look inside and find happiness, and to appreciate time spent with someone else.
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Old 02-18-2008, 05:37 PM   #46
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I hate to disagree but I think the honeymoon stage while nice is not reality . If you can be together day in and day out and are still crazy about them that is priceless !
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Old 02-18-2008, 05:38 PM   #47
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Being married is one of life's grand experiences that I would not deny anyone. But the other side of the coin is that working out honest agreements on financial matters over a lifetime is hugely difficult, and a tremendous accomplishment. I have the greatest respect for any couple who can pull this off.
It's been a piece of cake for us. Of course marrying an easy going spouse helps. Mutual respect makes a lot of difference too. We just see eye-to-eye on many things which I suppose is why we got together in the first place.

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Old 02-18-2008, 05:38 PM   #48
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I hate to disagree but I think the honeymoon stage while nice is not reality . If you can be together day in and day out and are still crazy about them that is priceless !
Is that possible?
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Old 02-18-2008, 05:40 PM   #49
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Is that possible?
yes

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Old 02-18-2008, 05:44 PM   #50
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Is that possible?

Yes ,It's possible and I'm living proof !
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Old 02-18-2008, 06:14 PM   #51
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Is that possible?
Sounds gruesome. I need my space!
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Old 02-18-2008, 06:17 PM   #52
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I hate to disagree but I think the honeymoon stage while nice is not reality . If you can be together day in and day out and are still crazy about them that is priceless !
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Is that possible?
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Sounds gruesome. I need my space!
Yep, it's possible, and we've broken up three marriages (that we know of) this way...
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Old 02-18-2008, 06:20 PM   #53
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One of the things I love about not being married and not living together, is that we only get together when both of us want to. We've been in a committed relationship for years, and yet we haven't really had reason to have a knock down, drag out argument. No reason to. We get together to have fun and to enjoy sharing our lives and each others' company. Are we still in the "honeymoon phase" of this relationship, after all these years? Could be, but I am eternally optimistic.

I really do think that many people need to spend more of their time alone than they do, in order to look inside and find happiness, and to appreciate time spent with someone else.
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I hate to disagree but I think the honeymoon stage while nice is not reality . If you can be together day in and day out and are still crazy about them that is priceless !
If the past eight years have not been reality, then I'd like to spend the rest of my life enjoying the same unreality. Ah, bliss!
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