Family Pressures Thwart Boomers’ Retirement Plans

[SumDay]

Pressure to support adult children and/or aging parents has some Baby Boomers struggling to afford their own retirement, a survey shows.


More than one-quarter (26%) of older U.S. Baby Boomers support their adult children financially or have them living at their home, according to a Coupon Cabin survey. Twenty-one percent have supported their aging parents financially, and 18% have supported their aging parents at their home.

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There's a second page, although not readily apparent....

 

[rodi]

Doesn't surprise me. Former neighbors recently downsized as a way of getting their adult children out from under their roof. (Successfully got rid of one, one managed to stick with them through the move.)

Another friend had a different approach. When his kid moved out at 18 (kids choice) they instantly downsized to a 1 br condo. Kid tried to boomerang and couldn't. They've managed to keep the house they raised the kids in rented - so no landing zone for boomerang kids. His kids are now very self sufficient. And he and his wife enjoy downtown, downsized, living.

 

[Mulligan]

I worry my DD will boomerang due to her insistence on opting for a worthless art degree, despite my advice. I plan to pinch her "barista income" hard with rent and food bill. If this happens, I will hold most of it and return it back to her once she leaves. A person can live a pretty good life on $10 an hour if they have no bills. Concerning normal boomerangs, there appears to be a fine line between helping, and enabling. Hopefully I will do the right thing if it happens. My parents won't be a financial problem in old age.

 

[d]

... opting for a worthless art degree ...

for some "students" any degree is worthless ... for some others, nothing could be more valuable ... and for some, the most valuable might well indeed be an art degree.

 

[obgyn65]

Sometimes I am pleased not to have kids and to live 5,000 miles from my country of birth )

 

[Mulligan]

for some "students" any degree is worthless ... for some others, nothing could be more valuable ... and for some, the most valuable might well indeed be an art degree.

I don't disagree at all with your viewpoint. My worry for my daughter is I think in general terms, not specifically in the individual. Maybe she will be one of the lucky ones, but the odds are against her in my opinion. Of course my opinion is in direct proportion to what I know and have read, and I am not an art person in anyway. I have read about a lot of young people that regret getting their art degree and having no employment opportunities with it. It is her life, but that cannot keep me from worrying about her future, though.

 

[traineeinvestor]

I had to smile at this.

My parents were pretty quick to downsize after my brother and I left home and again when my sister finally left the nest. Their current place was remodeled from a three brm apartment into a one brm. There is a single fold out bed for one child/grandchild to use when visiting (we all live in different countries now).

They were also pretty firm on charging us rent if we lived at home while working.

 

[jclarksnakes]

As soon as my kids left for college I broke their dinner plates and changed the door locks.

 

[foxfirev5]

My DW and I evidently missed the opportunity to downsize and avoid boomarangs and parents. Every situation is different. Two of our kids left ASAP and our oldest is content to never leave. He pays rent has had a steady job for many years and is perfectly content in our oversized house. As DW and I travel more he's there to keep things up. When we recently traveled to FL the furnace went out and he had it fixed and all we got was the bill. Actually saved us from a potential disaster.
To each his own I guess.

 

[yakers]

I worry my DD will boomerang due to her insistence on opting for a worthless art degree, despite my advice. Concerning normal boomerangs, there appears to be a fine line between helping, and enabling. Hopefully I will do the right thing if it happens. My parents won't be a financial problem in old age.

Some similar concerns her. Younger son recently finished his music degree. He is remarkably serious about music, plays lots of gigs, some paying. Has a daytime substinace job and lives with bunch of friends who were students together to live cheap. Trying to get his music career going. Will it work? I doubt it but its impossible to imagine him not pursuing his passion at this time. And I figure that if he ever seeks 'regular' employment he can show a lot of diligence in school, working while in school and pushing himself after. If I were hiring that diligence would be a major factor.

 

[Mulligan]

Some similar concerns her. Younger son recently finished his music degree. He is remarkably serious about music, plays lots of gigs, some paying. Has a daytime substinace job and lives with bunch of friends who were students together to live cheap. Trying to get his music career going. Will it work? I doubt it but its impossible to imagine him not pursuing his passion at this time. And I figure that if he ever seeks 'regular' employment he can show a lot of diligence in school, working while in school and pushing himself after. If I were hiring that diligence would be a major factor.

The one advantage, I see your son has and it is a good one, is he has figured out how to make on his own. Most of the time it is by living cheaply with friends piled in a rental. My daughter is such an introvert, I don't think she has enough friends to live together to make the rent cheap enough. I had the same living arrangement for several years in my 20s. Back then, I didn't think a thing of it, and actually looking back now,they were fun times.

 

[Silver]

I worry my DD will boomerang due to her insistence on opting for a worthless art degree, despite my advice.

I have a cousin who got a PhD in art history and couldn't find a job. She became a police officer with the goal of working for the FBI as an art theft agent. She applied many times, but after several years in law enforcement was accepted and has a very nice career with lots of interesting travel.

I always admired how she did that.

 

[citrine]

If DSS's move in here, they will be paying rent and doing a lot of chores....that will probably hinder them from moving in here I have been known to take a toothbrush and clean around the toilet and all the grout!!

 

[Alan]

Sometimes I am pleased not to have kids and to live 5,000 miles from my country of birth )

Meaning that you are pleased to have not to support your parents?

Seems quite the opposite of your normal charitable self if that is what you mean.

 

[calmloki]

If DSS's move in here, they will be paying rent and doing a lot of chores....that will probably hinder them from moving in here I have been known to take a toothbrush and clean around the toilet and all the grout!!

Whose toothbrush? Something like that could reduce repeat visits.

 

[Mulligan]

If DSS's move in here, they will be paying rent and doing a lot of chores....that will probably hinder them from moving in here I have been known to take a toothbrush and clean around the toilet and all the grout!!

One of my best friends who is near 40, told me a story recently that I found humorous. He told me right before he graduated from college, his parents gave him a "talk". He said they told him they loved him, and he was welcome to come see them any time, and spend the night if he wanted. But under no circumstance would he be allowed to move back in the home. I had not heard of anyone getting that preliminary "talk". I just faded away gradually during college, and never had the intention of moving home. What was funny is his parents are very sweet people, and he was a good kid growing up also. I could never have imagined them saying that. I always thought the "talk" occurred after you moved back. Like, "you got 6 months to get out of here, or I am throwing your stuff in the yard".

 

[akck]

Two of our sons still live at home. One is away at college and the other is a Plumber Apprentice, about to become a Journeyman. It took a couple of years to convince my wife how much the Plumber Apprentice cost us to live at home, before she let me collect living expenses. We really found out how cheaply we could live when he was away for a 6 month job. He's been looking for place to buy, but can't find anything and if it goes much longer, he'll be able to pay cash. So in his case, it's not financial. The youngest will graduate this year and is going to graduate school to get his PhD. He told us he'll be getting a stipend and will not likely return to our state except for visits, so no more financial burden there.

I have convinced my wife, our retirement can't afford to support more than two, so any other support will be cut (mainly cell phones, they just pay for the data plans), one I retire. While we'd be okay with the kids here, they;ll at least have to pay for their living expenses.

 

[Walt34]

In fairness to boomeranging kids, I did that after a divorce. Saved my money and bought a house 18 months later, been fine since.

While I was there I got the lawn in better shape than it had ever been, repainted the entire house, did all maintenance on it, and even repaired a broken water pipe at 7:00 AM Christmas morning. Mom said then that she was glad to have me there.

So sometimes it does end up okay.

 

[ripper1]

for some "students" any degree is worthless ... for some others, nothing could be more valuable ... and for some, the most valuable might well indeed be an art degree.

+1......My son has an art degree and is a free lancer doing well enough to live on his own in downtown Chicago. He followed his passion and is loving it.

 

[obgyn65]

I do miss my parents terribly. I wrote the post thinking of mynextended family, cousins, nephews, etc. - not a happy bunch. Long story....

Meaning that you are pleased to have not to support your parents?

Seems quite the opposite of your normal charitable self if that is what you mean.

 

[Bretttd]

As soon as my kids left for college I broke their dinner plates and changed the door locks.

Yea, the day I moved out my mom converted my bedroom. A year later she moved to a much smaller house, I was there was a guest room with my name on it, but the word 'guest' was emphasized